• Member Since 23rd May, 2013
  • offline last seen Sep 29th, 2018

SpaceCommie


Writer. Editor. Spaceman.

T
Source

A traitorous spy who can freeze time. An amoral archaeologist with a dangerous past. A cloudheaded Wonderbolt who wants to be a hero. A secretary in way over her head. Leading them all into the depths of the changeling hive is Princess Luna. Their mission: to capture Queen Chrysalis and bring her to justice. There will be no support, and no going back. And none of them are prepared for what they'll find.

The changelings have a past deeper and darker than anypony imagined. And so does Chrysalis.


Reviewed by Seattle's Angels June 10th, 2014.


This story was created with the help of Einhander, Auramane, Benny, Cola_Bubble_Gum, and Guy_Incognito.

Credit for the lovely cover art goes, of course, to 2315D.


This story takes place between the Changeling Invasion of Canterlot and the reappearance of the Crystal Empire. It takes basically no cues from the IDW comics. If you consider those canon, this should be considered AU. (Update: for obvious reasons, the canon has moved on from where it was when this story started, so the point is moot.)

Chapters (13)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 230 )

Dat title, I see what you did there.

This is all I can think of when I look at the wonderful cover.

Only, you know. Better.

Oh god, this is gonna be gooooooooood! :pinkiehappy:

4016540
Subtlety is not my forte.

I saw this cover on 2315D's deviantart page and have been waiting for it. I'll read it later, though. The new chapter of Forgiveness Pending is out.

Huzzah! This is a fun read. :twilightsmile:
Adding to the Adventure folder in Luna Is The Best Pony.

4016592
Just read the chapter and I think I'm in love with this story.:rainbowkiss:

“How?”

Celestia blinked. “What do you mean?”






“Yes.”

“This would proceed much faster if you did not attempt to convince me that everything is alright.”

Not sure, but it feels like something is missing here.

4016672
:facehoof: GDocs doesn't always play nice with FIMFiction for some reason. Thanks for pointing this out.

The team is set, the adventure is underway!

This gonna be a good one.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I keep thinking "The Dirty Dozen"...:pinkiecrazy:

Yeah, Lunatics, go kick some changeling plots

"Her". Here we go. The changelings had an apocalyptic prophecy of an alicorn attacking the hive. Cryssy attacks Canterlot to wipe out the alicorn and prevent the prophecy from coming true. The alicorn's recently returned sister strikes back in retaliation, attacking the hive... self-fulfilling prophecies are so much fun!

I'm sorry but there is something about this story that I just can not stand, it might be all the time skips or maybe your writing style (I'm pretty sure it isn't, I liked some of your other work), it could be something about your dialogue but something in this story just doesn't sit right with me and in fact makes it very difficult to sum up the motivation to read it.

So it is with regret that I inform you that I have down voted your story for what may appear to be for no reason but is a culmination of many small things.

I am informing you of this so you have someone to blame for that down vote.

Love,
Willsons, a hater of anonymity.

I'm calling it now!! Moonshines been replaced already :pinkiecrazy:

Let the record be clear, this story was in non mature FB this morning, 3/1/14 :twilightsmile:

4017632
Thanks for letting me know, I suppose.

What starts as a straightforward mission to capture a changeling queen will become anything but simple as Luna and her team stumble upon a crime generations deep.

hmm that express train......does someone in equestria wants to prevent luna from finding out?

"Because it's not lonely," Colgate mumbled.

"Huh?" Soarin said.

"I can't really explain it. It's like..." She paused. "It's like a thousand voices in your head telling you that everything will be alright, that you're okay, that somepony's taking care of you."

that sounds more comforting than the usual hivemind, why do they need a species-wide link that sounds like someone trys to comfort a traumatised person......

a crime generations deep

hmmm

4017660
why do things halfway? she always was a changeling:pinkiecrazy:

4017547

I'm thinking perhaps it is Chrysilis that is refered to in those scripts. The hive mind was not always there, and its existence is the driving force behind the aggression of the changelings. Apocalypses do not always happen suddenly after all.

I like what you're doing here, and look forward to where you're going with this story.

That being said, this chapter is far from perfect. Overall, it seems that everything is done too fast; what should have been several chapters of setup has been crammed into one here. Everything that needed to happen is still seen, but the pacing suffers for it. In specifics, the scene at the beginning with Celestia as very wooden. The turnaround in Celestia's opinion is too quick; she seems more a cardboard cutout in front of plot than a character in her own right. There aren't any emotions there, just things that happened. The character introductory scenes were better, but still seem too short to really establish a connection with the characters.

Overall, it seems like you've rushed through the introductory chapter to get to parts you wanted to write more. That's all well and good, but if the whole story is written like this, the story is going to suffer for it.

I hope this has been helpful.

4019529
Thanks for your input.

Hmmm....You have my interest. :)

4020871
You had questionable choice in entertainment as a child?

4020932
For some reason it caught my attention. :applejackconfused:
However, I stopped watching it when I became addicted to My Little Pony. :ajsmug:

4020942
Heh, sorry. I only remember that show as trying way too hard to be edgy.

4020967
Heh. No need to apologize. :pinkiesmile:

It's funny cuz pun

Great story its awesome that I'm in it Lol


- Soarin out

Love it so far.

4023713
This paranoia: I like it.

4023751
4023713
All ponies are changelings!
After the NMM incident the nation collapsed into a civil war which let to the extinction of the pony race and the changelings constructed an illusion to prevent Celestia from incinerating the world in grief-induced insanity.:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

I like the premise of this story, so I'm giving it an upvote. I like your writing style, so I'm going to watch you. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Sticking to my word I have read your story and I have to say it's good so far. There has been noting that has really grabbed my attention but I still want to continue reading it. There were a few errors in the story but every story has errors. Not to sure where your going to go with this story, though I was surprised that it took place just after the Canterlot wedding. Not sure I want to give you a thumbs up just yet. only time will tell. :derpytongue2:

Get featured dammit!

I need more now!!
I'm jonesing hard for the next chapter! :pinkiecrazy:

and the membrane clinged to them

clung

Tracking.

4029338
How did I not fix that? :facehoof:

Thanks for pointing that out.

disavowing luna infiltrating the changeling homeland................ fucking luna, one of the diarch, a demigoddess alicorn?

Me likey!!!

Now, time to crawl into a whole with an outlet and stare at my phone until I get the email saying, "The fanfic you are tracking called 'The LunaTics' has just updated!"...Time to begin my unhealthy obsession.

~ Michael A.

So ... Operation Save the Changelings.

The worldbuilding in this is fuckin' fantastic, Space. Good lord. :rainbowhuh:

4044042
:twilightsmile: Thank you. There will be more. Much more.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!