//------------------------------// // Lies // Story: The Lunatics // by SpaceCommie //------------------------------// “Enough,” Luna said, and six pairs of eyes turned towards her. “Mr Deposit, Ms Jubilee, you have prevaricated long enough. I demand a thorough explanation. Immediately.” Deposit glanced at Cherry. She shook her head. Colgate searched their faces, and breathed in deeply. Her horn glowed, and she was gone. Or at least to all appearances. For Colgate, the scene froze. Despite the strain of channelling energy through her horn, she relaxed slightly and walked around. Soarin’s mouth was still opened in a strange half-smile as he whispered something to Moonshine, whose head was tilted a bit to the side, one eyebrow raised. Luna looked imperiously down on Deposit and Cherry, her gaze unblinking. In fact, no one had blinked since Colgate’s horn had begun glowing, nor even noticed her walking around the lobby, looking around at everypony. It was something of an exaggeration to say that Colgate could freeze time around her. All she did was extend a time dilation field around herself. It wasn’t a question of her stopping time, but speeding it up around herself. The process wasn’t perfect, but it gave her... certain advantages. At a decent trot, she was basically invisible as long as she didn’t dally within anypony’s field of view for too long. After all, for every three minutes that passed for her, only a second passed for the rest of the world. The fact that it gave Colgate one hell of a headache after a minute or two was a problem, but under the circumstances, she’d take it. Cherry Jubilee and Safe Deposit were gone. In their place, there were two figures straight from Colgate’s nightmares. They weren’t as tall as Chrysalis, of course, and their eyes had none of that dangerous intensity. They looked almost like exhibits in a museum. But then she brought herself to look at Deposit's real face—long, predatory fangs, wet with saliva, jutting out of a mouth that didn't sit quite right on their faces, empty eyes staring out of a night-black face. She could even smell them—a sharp, burnt scent, with the scent of rottenness sticking up through it. The ponies from Dodge had been replaced by changelings. Colgate’s head was beginning to throb at the base of her horn. She’d have to move fast, before she lost focus. She patted down her pack, looking for anything useful. Nothing. Damn. Colgate looked around, taking in her surroundings with a practiced eye. The room was a standard bank lobby, if a bit spartan by the standards of a big city like Canterlot. Deposit’s desk was off to one side. There were staplers, pens, paperweights... Paperweights. She walked over to the desk, and picked up a paperweight in her mouth. It was a solid-looking piece of rounded glass, with “First Bank of Dodge Junction” etched into it. It’d do nicely. Colgate walked back to where the changelings stood, and hesitated for a second. Then, with a snap of her head, she threw the paperweight into the air. After it had flown up a few inches, it stopped, hovering in the air as if levitated. Blood pounded at the base of Colgate’s horn, and she put a hoof to it for a moment. Then, she glared at the changelings and stood in front of them, making sure to look up at the rock. Her horn’s light faded, and the paperweight began to drop as Colgate’s moment, frozen in time, died. At first, it was a languid, almost graceful fall, as the time magic whispered its way into nothingness. Colgate caught it deftly in a field of electric blue. Deposit and Cherry were there again in front of her, eyes wide at the sight of the unicorn that had just materialized out of nowhere.  The paperweight hit Cherry first. Colgate then slammed it sideways into the side of the teller’s head. They both dropped, cradling their heads with their hooves. Colgate stared at both of them, waiting for them to get up. They didn’t. But at the same point, they were still ponies. Colgate stared at them. Moonshine stared at her. “Um. What just happened?” Soarin asked. Caballeron rubbed his chin. “It seems that Ms Colgate has elected to dispatch our hosts for some reason.” “Oh,” Soarin said, shifting his weight from hoof to hoof, an uncomfortable frown on his face. “That’s weird.” He paused for a moment. “They’re not actually dead, right?” “Of course not,” Caballeron snapped. Colgate searched their faces for any hint of understanding. She didn’t find it. “But, I didn’t—they’re...” she sputtered, and breathed deeply for a couple of seconds. “They’re changelings. I swear. I went into fast time, and...” Moonshine gasped. “How could you say that? I know these ponies! I would have noticed if they were acting strangely!” “I know what I saw,” Colgate said through gritted teeth. “Well, maybe what you saw wasn’t...” Moonshine said. “Wasn’t what?” "Wasn't what was... was really there," Moonshine said with a sigh. “Are you saying I’m crazy?” Colgate demanded, glaring at Moonshine, daring her to say it. "I'm saying that you might think you saw something that wasn't there?" “So basically, yes,” Soarin said, which earned him a glare from both unicorns. “I am not crazy,” Colgate said. “Caballeron, we’d never know, would we?” Caballeron looked at the ponies lying on the ground. “We wouldn’t,” he said. “But since Ms Shine is familiar with those two, I am inclined to trust her.” “Damn it, Caballeron, they’re—” “Enough,” Luna said in a measured tone. “Caballeron, surely there are more conclusive ways to ascertain whether our hosts are who they say they are.” "Probably, yes," Caballeron said. "Ms Shine, you're acquainted with these ponies?" Moonshine dragged her gaze away from the injured ponies. "Sort of. I don't know Deposit very well, but Cherry’s a friend of the family.” She placed a distinct emphasis on the last few words, glaring at Colgate. Caballeron nodded. “Ask her things she knows that a changeling would not.” "Um. Okay." Colgate stepped out of the way for Soarin, who helped Cherry to her feet. "Are you okay, Ms Jubilee?" Moonshine asked. "I'll be fine, honey." "Oh, uh, okay. So I'm going to ask you some questions, if you don't mind." Cherry sighed. "I do get it. Go ahead, darlin'." "Okay... what's your full name?" "Cherry Harvest Jubilee." “That will not do,” Caballeron said. “Ask less obvious questions.” Moonshine frowned. “How long have you known me, Ms Jubilee?” “All your life,” she responded in her lilting accent. “And my parents?” Cherry hesitated, and glanced towards the door.. “I reckon since right around I got to Dodge.” Moonshine nodded. “And my name is?” “Moonshine. Darlin’, why are we doin’ this? You know you can trust me.” The secretary didn’t respond to that. “Why was I named Moonshine?” Cherry smiled. “Well, honey, you know just how much your mama loved to watch the night sky, and—” Moonshine flinched as if she’d been slapped in the face. She stepped away, searching Cherry’s face, eyes wide. She mumbled something. “What on earth was that about?” Cherry demanded, still eying the door. “Whiskey,” Moonshine said quietly. ”My daddy liked his whiskey. You didn’t remember.” A thin, triumphant smile spread across Colgate’s face. “Truly?” Luna asked. Moonshine grinned weakly. “I really wanted the job, thought it couldn’t hurt, and I knew you’d never ask.” Soarin raised a hoof. “Shouldn’t we... you know?” Cherry cried, “Now wait just a damn minute! Just ‘cause I got one question wrong doesn’t mean you can just... I don’t even know...” “I suspect that it is reason to—” Caballeron started. “Doctor, could you be quiet for a moment?” Moonshine asked. “Thank you. Now, Cherry, another question to make up for it. How do you feel about sorting cherries?” “Sortin’ cherries?” Cherry repeated. “Why, it’s probably my favorite part of the job. It’s relaxin’ and I don’t have to deal with any of them trees.” Moonshine frowned. “Nopony likes sortin’ cherries, and you love your trees. Well, the real Ms Jubilee does.” Colgate rolled her eyes and sighed. “Great. I’m glad we... ascertained that there’s something going on here. Caballeron, how do we make sure?” Caballeron stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. “I believe unconsciousness would do the trick.” “So...” Moonshine said softly. “Moonshine, you’ve done a lovely job so far,” Colgate said. “Allow the expert?” “But Caballeron’s just standing there,” Moonshine said. Colgate sighed. “I meant me.” “Oh. Okay, Colgate. Do you think we could maybe do it without hurting her?” “Drugs,” Caballeron said. “We may be able to drug her into unconsciousness and wake her up as needed.” Moonshine bit her lip. “Do we know if they’d be safe for changelings?” Caballeron shrugged. “It’s that or—” Cherry glared at the two, and Colgate disappeared. She reappeared a second later, and jabbed Cherry’s temple with her hoof. If it weren’t for the speed, and the fact that Cherry dropped like a rock, the motion would have looked almost dainty. Not that anypony would dare say that to Colgate’s face. Cherry wasn’t responding, but there was no sudden transformation. Moonshine said, “You hit her!” “Does anypony else think we might’ve made a mistake?” Soarin asked. “I think we might have made a mistake.” Caballeron rolled his eyes and waved Soarin off. “Persistence of vision, or something like that. Give it a moment.” Luna blinked, and sure enough, Cherry was no longer there. Lying prone on the floor was a changeling, black chitin glittering against the cheap carpet. Deposit bolted, legs pumping awkwardly as he made his haphazard, desperate way to the door.  Soarin had still been staring at the changeling on the floor, but he was a Wonderbolt, and his wings started moving before he had time to think. He hit Deposit hard, knocking the teller off his precarious balance. They both fell, and tumbled for a few feet. Soarin raised a hoof, although he was on his back. “I got him!” Luna suppressed a smile. They are far more capable than they appear. “Return the changeling to the vault!” she called. “We will uncover what happened here.” Moonshine’s eyes strained to see the changeling in the dim vault. She might be up at late hours a lot—with Luna’s nocturnal schedule, it was just part of the job—but she didn’t have the princess’s night vision. Not even close. “How many changelings remain in this town?” Luna demanded. The thing that looked like Deposit snarled, his face contorting to expose invisible fangs. His eyes were filled with rage and fear, which churned behind the spectacles perched on his nose. If he were visible as a changeling, it might be frightening. From this slight, bookish stallion, it was pathetic. It was still disturbing, though. Luna turned away from it to address Moonshine. “We,” Luna said heavily, “have been thoroughly unsuccessful.” Moonshine nodded, a frown on her face. “I have been feeling thoroughly useless. Although I’ve, um, been transcribing the changeling’s responses.” She raised her clipboard a bit. Luna took it without comment, her eyes shifting laboriously over the text. “Moonshine, these are all ‘snarling’ or some trivial variation thereof...” Moonshine looked up at her, eyes wide. “But, ah... perhaps Doctor Caballeron might be able to make something of them,” Luna said. “Might you check?” Moonshine smiled. “Absolutely!” She practically bounced out of the bank vault where ‘Deposit’ was being held, his legs tied to the real teller’s office chair. Most of the expedition was still in the lobby. Colgate was looking warily out into the warm desert night, eyes searching for movement in the darkness. Soarin had headed back to the train with ‘Cherry’ and the catatonic stallion.  Caballeron was sitting in a corner,  writing in his journal, muttering occasionally in a language Moonshine couldn’t understand. “Mr Caballeron?” she asked. “Doctor,” Caballeron said past the quill in his mouth. He carefully took it out.. “I take it my assistance is needed?” Moonshine closed her eyes in thought for a second. “I guess you could say so. Um. The princess suggested that you might be able to do something with this?” She levitated the clipboard towards Caballeron, who took hold of it, skimming through it. He tilted it back towards her. “Translation is something of a skill of mine, Ms Shine, but I am no more able to make sense of this than... Soarin would." Caballeron smirked. "So you have still not gotten any answers?" Moonshine sighed. "Not really." Caballeron got up, placing his journal aside. “The princess is wasting her time. And subsequently, mine.” “She’s trying.” “She is failing.” “Princess Luna knows what she’s doing!” Moonshine said, standing tall and glaring at Caballeron. “No, she doesn’t,” Caballeron said, stepping towards Moonshine. He easily stood over her. “None of you have any idea what you have gotten involved in. Colgate!” Colgate raised her head. “Caballeron. What’s up?” Moonshine frowned. “Were you sleeping?” “Why?” “The changeling was... making noises...” Moonshine said. “Um. Loud ones.” Colgate shrugged. “I spent eight months in White Peak Eyrie. You learn to get to sleep with all sorts of weird noises. Anyways. Caballeron, what’s going on?” “We are still here,” Caballeron said. Colgate nodded. “The point being...” “It’s been well over an hour,” Caballeron said. “Mmm. Okay.” Colgate yawned and settled onto the floor. “Let me know when we’re done here.” She glanced at Caballeron and Moonshine once more before shutting her eyes, and mumbled, “I need my sleep for spy stuff.” Caballeron sighed. “I had hoped that you, at least, would remember this detail. The changeling mind is linked.” “Linked,” Colgate repeated, the word slurred slightly. Her eyes snapped open. “They know where we are.”