• Member Since 6th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

BleedingRaindrops


Just a critic who happens to write about pastel colored magical talking ponies

T

This story is a sequel to 2-D Pony


She ran up to scrape more paint off so she could admire it better, then froze. The eye was still looking at her. This wasn’t the usual illusion that came from perspective drawing, where an image appeared to look directly at the viewer no matter what viewing angle they took. No, the eye had turned, and followed her as she moved toward the ladder.

While chasing after a mischievous thieving phoenix, a young filly uncovers one of the most horrible and tragic blunders ever to happen to a citizen of Ponyville. As her mother and friends try to run from their past, Ink Blot will learn that some jokes are not funny at all.


The shocking sequel to my other story, 2-D Pony.
Special thanks to Web of Hope for helping me edit this story.
The cover art was done by the very talented SagebrushPony.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 160 )

>:( CLIFFIE RAGE

WITHHOLDING UPTHUMB

3391250
Fear not, Chapters three and four are on the way. Should be an update within the week :pinkiehappy:
I'm actually taking a break from writing them to type this. sorry. :fluttershysad:

3391280 It's okay. Nothing important, really, I just want to upthumb it once the big reveal approaches.

And I want to know what happened in that fic. It was an incredible hook.

Oy... well, I'm glad I started this rediculous job, as this is very much worth my time.

ehem... I quite enjoyed this. I like your writing style. I am genuinely intrigued by this story, and I want to read more. what better compliment is there to give to a writer? but seriously, I like the universe you've set up, and the idea of a living painting, looking at you, angrily... well, that just might be one of the most unsetling moments I've had the pleasure of reading, and you handled it very well. take a like and a fav, and I look forward to more!

3402985
heh, thanks. It's the first story I've cared for in quite a while, and might be the first and only I become satisfied with enough to complete. Comments like these, they really mean a lot. They mean that I'm not just mindlessly typing; I'm actually accomplishing something, and that people actually enjoy what comes out of my brain and onto the page. :pinkiesmile:

3404190 I know what you mean... too many people on this website refuse to give meaningful feedback. It's a problem I myself face as an author... that's why I do my best to make up for those silly geese. :pinkiehappy: I'll feature your story as a favourite on my user page, which likely won't help but who knows... oh, and I'll keep reading anything you manage to write on this.

Oh, my! If I knew you were writing a sequel to my all-time favorite FiM fic story, I would have read it the instant it came out!

Hmm... Not quite up to the quality the original was, but that was pure, unrepeatable genius, so...! Besides, we're not even really into the meat of the story yet, and all I see ahead is improvement!

Not quite up to the quality the original was

But... the original was hideous :raritycry:
I honestly don't even know why it ever got so popular. :raritydespair:
It was just a bunch of scribblings to get over writer's block.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-AfkSN8mEz1g/Tmuk67MatHI/AAAAAAAAAIM/g8UQC3U49_8/s1600/this+post+made+me+cry.png
I wasn't even trying.

3413135
When I speak of "quality", it's not merely of technical details or plot depth, but emotion, too. The roller coaster of terror (as I talked about in my comments on the original) is just... so overwhelming, and the unique concept helps by putting the reader in a situation where there is no precedent for "where the story is going next" so that every compounding moment of hopelessness is all the more soul-crushing!

...
...

This story hasn't yet--yet!--had the chance to develop that level of emotion.

Besides, I often find my best writing comes out during those moments I'm "not trying"--where I'm barely aware of "how" my fingers are transferring the ideas in my brain into something others can read. When it just... "comes".

3414245
*sigh* I suppose you're right. It is a bit more difficult to portray that emotion through this narration style as well. Hmm. I wonder if giving Slender Mane a read through would help. (plug because deliciously scary story, and Nightmare night is coming up.) :pinkiecrazy:

You mean foals not fillies at the end

3417080 fillies means girls colts mean boys foals mean both

3417517
>Semantics :derpytongue2:
Ink Blot is a filly, so it doesn't matter. And was the thumbs down really necessary?

3417558 it makes it sound like it's okay if a COLT hears if but not a poor defenseless filly

3417607
I think you're looking too far into it. Applejack is speaking to a filly, and is a bit too preoccupied with being terrified to care about whether there are any colts she knows about who might want to be included in her description. (I can do this all day :ajsmug:)

3417617 (so can I but I don't want too)

Fair enough

Comment posted by BleedingRaindrops deleted Oct 29th, 2013

Hush you two. It's one word, and I'm sure almost no one cares if it's "fillies" or "foals." (Though I for one think that "foals" would sound kind of off in that sentence)

Anyways, on to a comment that's actually relevant to the content! I did enjoy this chapter, but somehow not quite as much as the previous two. I started enjoying it much more near the end, but leading up to that I felt it lagged a little bit. I'll give a few spacific comments as well:

I never realized until now that Applebloom would be Inky's aunt, and a good bit older than her... That's probably a fault of my own lack of observation, but something worth noting.

The begining seemed a little bit repetitive to me in terms of wording (spacific example would be reference to Gummi as a "great (exact adjective used at least 3 times)" shield/protector against "new" danger). I don't think anything bothered me past the 6th paragraph, but I think noticing that (along with the applebloom thing) did something to hamper my sense of immersion towards the begining.

And a small word of caution: You may want to start giving answers soon. Not a complete answer maybe, it might be too soon for that, but maybe throw your readers a bone. It just felt a little like you gave us nothing new to think about this chapter, and just when it seemed we were about to get something to chew on (heheh, Applejack ate her hat...), the chapter ended. Cliffhangers like that only work if you make the reader feel like they're going to get an answer in the next chapter, so that they'll be truly eager for it to come out. however, "This isn't a story for (fillies)" is a line that can make the reader feel like they won't get an answer next chapter, and kills some of that suspense, which is pretty much the point of a cliffhanger.

On to a positive note: Ugh, I love how you handled Applejack's dialogue, and Applejack in general! so many writers don't understand that an accent isn't just something you represent with dropped consonants and "ah"s; you actually made applejack act and sound like a country girl.

EXIBIT A!

"...what’s got you so down you could dig for grubworms?"

EXIBIT B!

(heheh, Applejack ate her hat...)

EXIBIT... okay, you get the idea. But seriously, I've never really liked Applejack much (sorry :applecry:), and just because of those funny little details I feel inclined to like her in this universe, even if she's only around for a few paragraphs. :eeyup:

Speaking of the Apples... it's a minor complaint, but I don't quite see how Big Mac works with Pinkie Pie. I have nothing against odd pairings, but you need to do it right if you're going to do it.

None of that is to say this wasn't an enjoyable chapter. It was enjoyable, and I enjoyed it. :pinkiesmile:

Shameless words of a shameless fan (me):

Poor Pinkie Pie!!! :raritydespair: Ink Blot you monster, you have a very sweet mother and she deserves your love (not saying I don't like how Inky doesn't like her mother--I love it, actually)!

Wait, I didn't paint a pony on... :twilightoops: um... Twilight, come back!!! (good job keeping the painted pony creepy as horsefeathers)

HEHEH, APPLEJACK ATE HER HAT.

That is all. Thank you for reading, and thank you for writing. ^^

3426198
Well, thank you immensely for that invaluable feedback. I will definitely look into it, and watch for it in the next chapter. Also, I see you enjoyed that Applejack actually ate her hat. It's nice when tidbits like that actually get noticed. Hoping you'll enjoy the next chapter, where, yes, some answers will be provided. Thanks for reading. :pinkiehappy:

3426319
you're quite welcome. :twilightsmile: look forward to chapter 4.

Hmm... The point of peeling paint helping to loosen the stuck stallion seems... to not make much sense. I suppose it hinges on what "stuck" means to the stallion's situation... The barn wall is made of individual planks, right? Has nopony thought of trying to pull the planks away, one by one? That doesn't seem like it would be too difficult...

3447794
Hmm, that does seem to make sense. Perhaps no one thought of it. Perhaps I never thought of it. I don't think it would hurt the story line if I were to edit that... :unsuresweetie:

I'm melting... melting! I'll get you peewee, and your little dog too (get it? cuz Spike was a dog in EQG... heheh... heh... too soon?)! :trollestia:

okay, so, relevant comments... is it me, or does it seem like ALOT of ponies are suddenly trying to help Inky? you got Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Princess Luna herself all running to (theoretically) the same place, meanwhile Inky's melting in a silver basin thingy And Applejack's probbably looking for her. I don't get the introduction of Luna into the story as it seems to just overcomplicate things from a reader's point of view (considering you have 2 other characters theoretically already going to the same place).

Also, what's PeeWee's deal? I get the feeling either he's trying to help her in some way, or he's just being an unbelievable jerk. I don't see why he'd do that to Inky unless she did something to him a long, long time ago that he has yet to forgive her for. maybe she'll have to convince him to forgive her so he can save her...? I dunno, it just seems like a huge dick-move on PeeWee's part.

Also, Twilight... did Twilight just, like, abandon Inky last chapter? If she knew Inky was in danger it seems kind of mean for her to just leave her.

Other than that though, I like this Twilight; she seems very accurately characterized. you seem to have a knack for that.

I'm not sure I have anything else to say... I seem to have a hard time communicating my thoughts right now so hopefully you can understand what I was just saying. not your best chapter so far I suppose, but decent.

shameless words of a shameless fan:

um... I think Applejack has a little bit of Inky Pie stuck in her mane. :applejackconfused: eeeeeewwww.....

y'know, if Inky's melting into a paint-like substance, couldn't somepony use it to paint a new Inky? maybe the 2-D pony could finally have a friend. :pinkiehappy:

okay, I don't know if you've read Eragon but something about Luna's POV just reminds me of Saphira's rare POV chapters. I think it was her drawn out description of who Pinkie Pie was; Saphira did that kind of thing. Element-of-Laughter-party-planner-Pinkie-Pie-Apple. Princess-of-night-dream-walker-freind-to-all-Luna. It works though, cuz I loved Saphira. :twilightsmile:

3452951

Other than that though, I like this Twilight; she seems very accurately characterized. you seem to have a knack for that.

>Me
>Accurately writing a unicorn
:rainbowlaugh: Well color me flattered, or pink. Just don't paint me onto a wall. :scootangel:

>Eragon
Read all four. Such a sad ending. :fluttercry:

>Sapphira POV
I hadn't thought of that, actually, but it might not be a bad jumper-cable story for when I write her scenes. :unsuresweetie:

:applecry: cliffhangers.
And the really scary thing about this? The herbalist's dream was being strapped to a wall. Inkie's dream was melting off of her skeleton. I'm just sitting there :rainbowderp: Hooooooh that can't be good.

3581114
You're catching on :pinkiecrazy:
glad somepony caught that:unsuresweetie:

What she couldn’t tell them was that there really was no way to save him. Yet

Missing period.
Mmm... I think these two stories would work best as one, with the first being a prologue chapter to this. Still, this style of organizing the series is reminiscent of serialized stories in magazines, which is certainly an effective way to keep readers on the edge of their seats hoping for more.
TL;DR: This story, I like it. Another!
31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkwxu9Ggwl1qaep6qo1_400.gif

4128788
4128913
Ah, thanks. Yeah, I think I meant impossible rather than inevitable. I'll make the edits.

Also, the 2-D pony was never intended to be expanded. It was just a one-shot I used to hop over a writer's block slump. This story was born of everypony asking about why Pinkie had painted over the old pony, which I'm still in the process of answering. So far, you've learned the end of the other side of the 2-D pony story. When I finally finish this, you should know most or all of it. :scootangel:

I'm eagerly awaiting the rest of the story. You've gotten me hooked, it's so tense now.

4277136
I'm working as fast as I can. This version is actually undergoing a rewrite at the moment so that I can get publishing on EqD. I had a review done on /fic/ before submitting and realized it needs work. :twilightoops:

Making something of top quality has always been difficult and tedious for me, so I can make no guarantees on the release date, but I am hoping to have it done by May. :twilightblush:

And rest assured, much of the story outline for the next chapter to this has been written, and simply needs the details filled in. :pinkiehappy:

4279942 Oh, dude, awesome! Kill it, man. And thanks for the reply. Hope you get your published.

When's the next chapter

4462095
When I finish writing it, and when someone gets around to editing it. I'm nearly finished, but without an editor I'll have trouble ensuring quality.

I am confused by the order of things in this story. Where does this take place in regards to the last chapter?

5013826
Sorry. I should specify in the Author Note. This chapter happens during Ink Blot's soak in the curing brew in chapter one.

Chapter 4

Er, why is this right in the middle of the chapter? :rainbowhuh: Shouldn't a new chapter be, yanno, published separately?

Dat Tarantino timeline doe.

5013901
Huh?:rainbowhuh:

...

:twilightoops: Wow. I'm not quite sure how that's sat there for so long without anyone noticing, but thanks for pointing that out. No, that's not supposed to be there. That was where I originally had the chapter break before I put it through editing.

So the "Herbalist" Died..Yet he's still alive and would probably be kinda pissed by now.

I'm kinda confused on what the story is...

It's so interesting and good, but there hasn't been enough explained for me to understand yet....

so a different variant of poison joke :rainbowhuh:

5014186 less pissed more utterly insane, like uncurable insane

5014511
Eh who knows, he might be sane.

Also if he was, it'd partially be the fault of the others for PAINTING OVER HIS FACE.

I'd think he'd just need a psychiatrist for a long while honestly.

5014596

he might be sane

Think of this rationally, a pony is a herd animal, they can barely survive without others, it's a basic instinct to be in a herd. Humans are not quite as big herd animals, that's why we can survive a few days in solitary with are sanity. So being alone as a herd animal trapped were others are not visible while fully awake never sleeping never hearing, every sense blocked for YEARS!

The chance she is still sane is like 0.001 percent

People always complain about how the sequels can't hold a candle to the original. This is actually a much better written and more engaging story than the first, though.

Also, I suggest bumping the story rating to Teen, mainly for the gore at the end of chapter two.

5014596
5014650

Even plain old solitary confinement is terrible for humans, especially when extended beyond two weeks. There are quite a few studies on how it makes things worse, not better, for prisons in particular.

How much worse without even a hint of sensory input? Nobody even knows yet. Such an experiment would be extremely unethical to conduct. It's entirely conceivable that the poor pony isn't even living in the real world anymore.

5014702
>gore
Oh, trust me, there is not a drop of blood spilled in this story.

5014726

I mean gore in its more general sense, referring to not just blood, but the graphic destruction of the living body, often involving exposure of its interior.

And come on, tell me this is something for "everyone" (including kids):

Her skin broke and liquefied, sloughing off and revealing her bones underneath, which also quickly melted beneath the strangling vines. Before long she was a puddling mass on the ground, indistinguishable from the mud.

5014758
Eh, Mods haven't yelled at me yet, but I suppose I could. Yeah, teen sounds about right.

I was very careful to make sure there was no blood, though. That was a personal challenge, to write a dark story without a drop of blood.

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