Wow.
I literally JUST got into the game today (not playing it, but just having interest in it at all)...
Of course, that was through reading about the genocide route and thoroughly spoiling myself.

This is an odd coincidence.

I just read this, and I'm not sure if I got the Pacifist Route or the Neutral Route

8422638
definitely Neutral

8423078
If you mind me asking, how many possible endings are there?

8423078
Oh wait, I'm asking the wrong person. My bad.

8440083
No problem!

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The thing is, though, sans is playable. The way you worked that route makes it unplayable, especially for mobile and tablet users. I had to go to the nearest computer and use the HTML inspector to find the links.

And there is another route where you're stuck in-between, you're just taken back to the start, why not this one?

8520201

The thing is, though, sans is playable. The way you worked that route makes it unplayable, especially for mobile and tablet users. I had to go to the nearest computer and use the HTML inspector to find the links.

The mobile and tablet users are what makes that section really struggle, but it's not unplayable of those that wield a mouse. Pinkie's section is where I took advantage of the cursor function. Scrolling over a link will change it's appearance (depending on the settings, it could be an arrow to a finger, or a white arrow to a black arrow, ect.) There's a few more ways to get by her (if you're observant on your surroundings, then you could fight url linking with url patterns.) and there's another that can be found in...... well I'm getting to that with your next question. I was hoping that her segment would make readers to think outside the box at how to get through her segment instead of just clicking links. All the other sections were just simple, choose from the following, but her section was meant to push the reader to think creatively.

And there is another route where you're stuck in-between, you're just taken back to the start, why not this one?

You mean the routes that end with you half human and half pony? That's because the story isn't over yet. It's a little puzzle that I was trying to indicate to the reader through those last few moments with Mooshy. I'm not saying to START from the beginning, I'm telling you to CONTINUE the story. If you need another hint at what I'm saying, then look through the chapter list.

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But in the glitched text parts it's not easy to run your mouse through AND sometimes the cursor doesn't change.

You mean the CONTINUE chapter, correct? Doesn't it just end there? And that also doesn't explain why not have the yes option open for Pinkie.

8520991

But in the glitched text parts it's not easy to run your mouse through AND sometimes the cursor doesn't change.

Those parts are where I try to get the readers that are still looking with the mouse to start rethinking their tactics. The first glitch was small and meant to be an unexpected surprise to the reader, but the link could still be found in the small jumble of words. The second glitch was meant to psych out those that found the previous link through mouse searching. After the difficult searching of the first glitch, the reader's mind would be more focused on looking through the jumble of words in the second glitch because it would seem like an obvious choice for a level 2. But there isn't a link in the second glitch text. The link is in the first line where Pinkie says 'surprise'. If they found the link of the first glitch through mouse searching, then at least I could try and make them think about the exceedingly large glitch, hoping that they would see that something that size would seem like an obvious trap. Basically, the glitches are meant to get the reader to think outside of the norm,

You mean the CONTINUE chapter, correct? Doesn't it just end there?

It was an abrupt ending, but I thought that leaving it a bit open-ended would reflect the aftermath of Flowey's battle as well as giving the reader a bit of knowledge that could compel them to look and obtain those other two endings.

And that also doesn't explain why not have the yes option open for Pinkie.

I wanted the reader to accept the hole that they dug themselves in by forcing them to click 'no'. Not only to resemble Sans' mercy kill and Chara's dominance, but to also make them admit that they never cared about any of the ponies to start with.

8547995
Ah, okay I see what you mean, although turning into a completely different creature would probably come with severe PTSD and a whole bunch of other problems. Regardless, I found this to be an extremely interesting concept, and a unique fic as well. I doubt there’s another story quite like it anywhere on this site. Very cool, keep up the good work!

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I was using a tablet... Its was really hard.

8596828
You too huh? I never thought there would be so many tablet users.

Thanks for reading/playing and commenting. I need to go change the description a little.

8596840
Yep, but spam clicking one the day! The only real trouble was the periods....

I picked this one only because it was the closest thing to what I would actually have done.

Over-all, this was actually pretty fun. Definitely the best choose-your-own-adventure fic I've read. (Which doesn't say much since I think I've only tried, like, maybe two others.) My main criticism is my default objection to 2nd person, which is the inevitable dissonance between the character and myself: I do not like it when the story tries to tell me what I happen to think about a certain character or what my personality traits are. It makes it very hard to stay immersed.

Also, as you may tell, I'm not crazy about it ending with an arbitrary ultimatum. Plus, it's kinda cliché.

But, as I said, over-all this is rather entertaining for what it is, so good job.

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Thank you.

The ending was pretty cliché, but after putting up with all the little games I threw at the reader as well as trying to persuade them into declining friends with Mooshy, I thought that I should reward them in some way. I couldn't really settle on what the reader would like; because if I had to stay in Equestria, I would prefer to stay as a creature that the society was built for; however, I knew that many people would like to be human in Equestria. There's also the readers intentions to get back home and declining that offer would seem like no goal was ever met, but I knew some readers would want to stay in Equestria regardless of what I made the reader's character do.

So in the end, I tried to suit everyone's wishes in a cliché attempt.

Again, thank you for reading and commenting along the way. It was entertaining to see/read you're choices and thoughts on this path. I honestly didn't see, or intended, the saving moment with Discord to be compared to saving Asriel.

8597271

So in the end, I tried to suit everyone's wishes in a cliché attempt.

I get that. What I take issue with is that the choice is such an arbitrary binary decision. (I say binary because the pony ending is really just a minor variation of permanently staying in Equestria.)

You see this in fantasy type stories a bit too often for my liking, where the hero ends up in some fantastic world of adventure and makes friends along the way, then in the end it's like: "Now you have to choose: Go home and never return, or stay here forever. No compromise." So the hero is force to make a sacrifice one way or the other.

That's something I deliberately try to avoid in my own writing. I may invoke it, but only to immediately subvert it. I think my characters deserve better.

Sometimes it makes sense, when there is a valid reason for such a choice. In the Undertale normal ending, Frisk really does have to choose between breaking through the barrier and return to the surface, or stay with the monsters. The premise is actually set up to make those the only available options. But that's exactly why the true Pacifist ending is so damn satisfying: Because Frisk manages to find a way to go home and keep all their friends.

However I find it very annoying when the protagonist has to make this kind of choice for no reason, just because. That's what makes it a cliché, because it's a sort of a cheap trick writers sometimes resort to simply because it has become convention.

I honestly didn't see, or intended, the saving moment with Discord to be compared to saving Asriel.

The fact that I was still listening to Hopes and Dreams/Save The World at that point may have had something to do with it.

Well, this is interesting. Before I begin, what season does it take place in? Any particular divergences from canon?

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There isn't really a specific moment these events take place in. If I had to give one though, I'd say season four or five.

For divergences, other than a few tiny statement from Twilight and a few references for Undertale fans, nothing is different from canon.

A nice ending, but I wouldn't be so optimistic about it, rather living with dread as to what Discord will come up with next. Celestia thought it FUN to play with someone like that, making them believe they would lose everything. Even worse, she allowed Discord to go ahead with it. TO be honest if I was in this position, I'd reject both their philosophies outright to their faces. Why? Because they can't be trusted. Sure, go ahead and help someone in need and be nice to others, but the fact that both of them were behind this from the start and show no remorse make friendship impossible, let alone trust.

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The thing I was trying to get across with Celestia was that she didn't authorized this little game of his.

We both had our interpretations and were both positive that we were right, but we didn't have any proof to back it up, so we left it be. Or so I thought..." she glances over to Discord

I didn't really know how to get the point across very clearly within a second person view, so I tried using actions and words to describe this; even subtly.

The reason as to why I made her allow this game to continue was because I believe it would be the best way to approach this delicate situation. Celestia would most likely have a busy schedule, so having time to search for the reader herself wouldn't seem possible. Sending guards to search for the reader would really be a bad idea for a creature from another world as it could be interpreted as a sign of a threat, but the fact that the reader was going to see Celestia would appear as a sign of welcoming. Having a little game with the reader seemed like it would be a nice way to have her break the ice with a foreign guest.

During the fighting section with Discord, I made her allow this because she knew what Discord's intentions were and try to get him to see that his attempts were pointless. Remember, I made Celestia say...

"I'm sorry to say, but it's out of my powers at returning you back home."

The only one that could return you home is Discord, and through my experience, some people just won't accept things until they experience it first hand. She could threaten Discord to return you home, but if she didn't get him to see the error of his ways, then what was going to stop him from trying the same trick on another human?

Which brings up that part you talked about, that 'living with dread as to what Discord will come up' part, that was actually more of a direct acknowledgement towards the reader from me. In fact, this entire story was a subtle direct talk to the reader on a more personal level.

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....so she really didn't want to play with someone to prove herself right? *raises eyebrow* Given you're the author, I suppose I'll have to believe you. Celestia herself however, I really don't believe either in or out of character. In character I was holding onto the idea of meeting her as the one hope of actually getting home, but it turns out (this is in-character as the protagonist) she was part of the game the whole time only wanting to "win" on HER terms. She never did anything she could have done to stop Discord, and doesn't seem to actually care about the protagonist being made to lose everything. She doesn't tell her student to do anything, doesn't let the protagonist know anything, and has her guard refuse to let him in unless he is a full pony despite knowing he is coming. Plus even when you DO get there she refuses to help you at all. And I don't mean turning you human and sending you back herself, she could simply force Discord to do the right thing. She's already seen you've made friends and were generally nice, so making you go through the charade and lose hope against an unbeatable opponent just so she could stand on her high horse and give you a lecture on morality. Plus the part about helping someone in need really rankles me, because she is guilty of just such a thing letting you flounder when you needed help but she denied to do anything. In short she's guilty of the apathy (not caring about how the situation is affecting the protagonist) and greed (proving herself superior to Discord) she attributes to not wanting friends, and her words don't appear to match her actions. And ultimately BOTH of them have failed philosophically. Discord because you aren't a sociopath, and Celestia because she ascribes a higher moral authority to the actions of one forced to act in a specific manner for the sake of self-preservation, which is (for me at least) the core motivation. Doesn't mean the friendships weren't meaningful or genuine, but they feel hollow when you have little choice. Oh, and Celestia counts as terrible by her own philosophy given she has no actual intention of friendship with you despite the fact that her helping you at all would gain her as a trusted friend.

tl;dr When placing myself as the protagonist of the story I decided to leave because I felt betrayed, distrustful, angry, and used by the person who I was ultimately depending on, believing her to be in on the game along with Discord, and casting doubt on the ponies met along the way as to whether THEY genuinely mean to be friends or if they were the ones lying to me. Plus afraid and resentful of the chimera-thing. In hindsight the whole debacle could probably become a valuable friendship lesson for both Celestia & Discord

Of course that's In-Character. As a reader I loved it.

Edit:

"It was a foolproof plan, but once you got word that Celestia could help you, I improvised by saying that you could still go home with only having a tail, but you had to keep gaining friends. Why couldn't you just follow the rules?"

I don't remember him saying ANYTHING like that. If he did, it was in a instance I didn't encounter and not in all the versions of the scene.

8628587

I don't remember him saying ANYTHING like that. If he did, it was in a instance I didn't encounter and not in all the versions of the scene.

If you accepted your first friendship with Twilight, Applejack or Applebloom; then later in that chapter (shortly after the first horizontal rule) you'll encounter Mooshy (Discord) who tries to discourage you at meeting Celestia and tries to persuade you by saying...

"But maybe there's still a chance of returning. You're not a complete pony yet, so perhaps you can get lucky and still return home when your time is up. Just make sure you don't make anymore friends for the remainder of your time here."

9535751
And? The point of a CYOA is to be able to choose your own adventure. If the adventure is to immediately turn around and leave, then that should be an available choice. As an author of a CYOA, you give players pre-made choices that they can actually make. You can't give them the choice to leave, then proceed to say that they can't leave, unless there's a good reason why, for example someone has locked the door behind you.

8628677
Really, the point where this story fails (even if it was good up to this point) is that there is no moral or lesson learned. Nobody cares about you, and none of your "friends" help you. Celestia by all appearances lets Discord get away with abusing you, and Discord isn't sorry for any of it. And on top of that, it implies hes going to torment the protagonist more in the future. Its really the one thing I think you should change that would give this a happy ending regardless of what ending you take.

Ugh, the comment section won't reveal anything!.. But they say, Pinkie does shenanigans... I WAS with her!.. Then HOW DID I miss it??!..

Ugh ... One day I'll write a choose-your-own-adventure of my own...

At the very least the process has been fun ! Yeah, before hitting a dead end... Multiple ones...

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Why is Wales an option?

I... don't recall. I think I was desperate for a fourth choice, but I don't recall why I picked Wales.

Who is the princess of glamour?

If you answered 4 question correctly, you'll get a hint from the way Twilight responds.

It's not official, but I considered it because it wore a dress once. The name of their battle music should also be another clue.

How do you decide which chapter would be placed so reader don’t just try to skip through?

Wow.
That is something special...

undertale genocide run be like