• Member Since 18th Jul, 2013

Lord Of Dorkness


Deep into that dorkness peering...

Best Of The Best 348 stories
Found 316 stories in 65ms

Total Words: 21,558,094
Estimated Reading: 8 weeks

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Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.


A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!

Chapters (43)
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This story is a sequel to Past Sins


Side-story to Past Sins - Slowly, the wounds inflicted by Nightmare Moon's reign heal. Ponyville is being reconstructed, and the last refugees are leaving the castle. Nyx is with Twilight. Celestia and Luna rule Equestria and guide the sun and moon once more. Everything is as it should be.

But some things are never washed away. These are the things that remain to remind us of the past. They remind us of the good times we've had with friends and family. They never let us forget the mistakes we've made. Everyone has them. Twilight has them. Nyx has them.

And, on occasion, when you share your scars, your photos, and your trinkets with another, they just might share theirs in return.

Chapters (1)
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Applejack's life is turned upside-down after she suddenly inherits the full powers of a goddess. She insists that it isn't a big deal and that she's the same pony as always, just bigger. Meanwhile, everypony else starts making demands on her and placing expectations on the 'new princess'. When the constant stream of petitions and gawkers starts interfering with farm work, Applejack reacts a bit strongly. Luna, fearing the worst, is determined to rescue Applejack from corruption, further irritating the farm pony. Will Applejack accept her destiny, or is destiny what you make of it?

Chapters (19)
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Immediately following the events of Appletheosis, Applejack must relearn her place in the world as the new Princess Mara of Equestria. Meanwhile, her family and friends have their own troubles with the changes. Through it all, little Merry May, first in the service of her goddess, tries to hold things together and keep everypony sane and happy.

I won't tell you what to do, (this time) but reading Appletheosis first is highly recommended. The Shadow of the Goddess also provides useful background and will become very relevant in later chapters.

Chapters (7)
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This story is a sequel to Past Sins


Hearth's Warming is a time for friends and family to come together, celebrate harmony, and welcome the new year. Nyx is looking forward to just this as she rides the train to Canterlot with Spike and Twilight. She's going to meet her extended family for the first time and wants nothing more than to make a good impression. Yet, the sheen of the holidays can't hide the trouble caused by meddling grandparents, relentless reporters, and a paranoid uncle.

Chapters (12)
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When Rainbow Dash agrees to temporarily care for an abandoned foal, she ends up getting more than she bargained for. Under the scrutiny of the public eye, Rainbow Dash has to try and bring up little Taboo right.

Chapters (16)
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This story is a sequel to The Irony of Applejack


Warning: this story is a sequel. Therefore, it is highly recommended that you read the prequel first before continuing!

Over half a year has passed since the changeling attack on Ponyville, and Applejack would like to think things have finally settled down. Much has changed for the young changeling, and all of Equestria in kind. The new district in Ponyville proves that, along with the town's many new residents.
But there is much the young queen does not yet know about being a changeling. Some things, she will learn, can be chosen, while others will be chosen for her. With new allies and enemies emerging all around her, Applejack must discover what it truly means to rule before the choice is taken from her forever, and the history of the changelings repeats itself, once again...



Image provided by Heilos.

Chapters (27)
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This story is a sequel to Past Sins


Side-story to Past Sins - Spike almost lost Twilight to a hangmare's noose, but now Twilight is safe and Nyx is a filly again. Normal life is returning. Still, Spike can't ignore the fact that Nyx just isn't the same as he remembers her. Her temper is more volatile, and, when she gets angry, all he can see is the rage-driven Nightmare Moon of legend.

And thus Spike has to wonder: Is Nyx truly reformed, or is she one bad tantrum away from calling herself Nightmare Moon again?

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Past Sins


Touch, Smell, Taste, Hearing, Sight

This is the order the five senses develop in for foals as they rest, cradled in the warm safety of a mother’s womb. But for one, her womb was a thorn bush in the dark of night. For one, the safety and warmth that should have carried her into the world was replaced with pain and cold.

These are Nyx's first hours.

Chapters (1)
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Crossover with the Dresden Files. Sequel to Forever!

For his first task as the new Winter Knight, Harry must travel to the land of cute little cartoon ponies to stop a plot by the Order of Blackened Denarius that threatens both Earth and Equestria.

Warning: Includes massive spoilers for the Dresden Files series up through Ghost Story.

Chapters (27)