//------------------------------// // Chapter Nine: Pheugo // Story: The Assumption of Applejack -or- Appletheosis // by Blue Print //------------------------------// Chapter Nine: Pheugo Applejack rolled slowly on to her belly. She didn’t remember coming to bed. Her whole body felt like it was made of lead while her head felt like cotton. She opened her eyes slowly. Her brother was hovering in front of her, a worried expression on his face. “Huh, how long was Ah out?” “Not long.” “Whut happened?” “Yuh done flipped out.” Applejack grimaced, right, the parade. “What, ‘zactly, did Ah do?” Big Macintosh didn’t answer, instead he trotted over to the window and pushed the curtain aside. “Fire ‘n’ Blood, Sun ‘n’ Moon… Did Ah really do that?” “Eeyup.” “That ain’t good fer the crops is it?” “Nnope.” “Well, Ah guess Ah gotta figure out a way ta tear it down all safe-like. Hopefully before Gran wakes up. Oh, bah all tha blood in Tartarus… They’re here.” Applejack pointed to a non-descript portion of the living dome. Big Mac squinted curiously in the direction she was pointing, but couldn’t make anything out. “Who?” “Tha Princesses. Can’tcha see ‘em? Celestia’s glowin’ ta shame the Sun ‘n’ Luna’s all shimmer an’ stars.” Big Mac raised an eyebrow at his sister, but declined to comment on it. Instead he asked, “Whut’re ya gonna do?” At that moment, a rapping sound came from downstairs. Applejack smiled slightly. “Ah think that’s Twilight. Ah’m gonna let her in is what Ah’m gonna do.” *** To say that Twilight was relieved that Applejack hadn’t grown fangs and sprouted armor was an understatement to say the least. She, AJ, and Mac were all seated around the kitchen table while Granny Smith snored gently from her rocker. “So,” said Twilight, “Rough morning?” Applejack cradled her head in her hooves. “Y’all might say that.” “You aren’t… Coming out of heat or anything are you?” Big Mac blushed a much brighter shade of red. “Twilight, Ah know y’all were a bit of a shut-in, but that ain’t proper conversation fer mixed comp’ny.” said AJ. “Oh… Well, what brought this on?” “Ah got upset with Merry May. She was followin’ me around this w-” A flash and bang interrupted the farmer as the Princess of the Moon unceremoniously teleported into the room. “Faust’s sake Luna! Y’all have no respect fer privacy!” “Applejack! It is not too late. You may yet be redeemed, but you must turn aside from this dark path you have chosen!” said Luna. “Dark path? Wha? No! Listen here, prin-cess. Ah am sick ‘n’ tired of you ‘n’ everypony else’s nonsense. There ain’t no law against a pony puttin’ up a fence around her personal, private property! NOW GET THE HAY OFF MAH PROPERTY BEFORE AH PUT YOU OFF!” AJ lit her horn menacingly, lowering her head to aim at the princess. Twilight and Big Mac had long since dove for cover. Granny Smith snorted and stirred in her sleep. Luna’s eyes widened, but she lit her own horn in defense. “Applejack, we merely came to speak with you, hoping you would listen to reason.” Applejack snorted fiercely in response. Luna’s eyes narrowed at that. “If thou’lt not listen to reason, we shall make thee listen!” A fountain of shadow poured from her horn, and grasping, dark tendrils reached out for Applejack’s hooves. Startled, Applejack leapt back, eyes wide and frightened. Her eyes darting about, she spotted the window behind her and made a leap for it. Her large body took out most of the frame, but she made it through easily enough. Stumbling into a gallop, she leapt for the sky and took off as fast as she could. From behind her, Luna roared, “THOU SHALT NOT ESCAPE US THAT EASILY!” as the princess took off in hot pursuit. Twilight peeked out of the cupboard she had hidden in while Big Mac peered out from around a doorframe. The entire wall of the kitchen was totally demolished. A pair of orange and navy contrails faded into the distance through a hole in the dome. Twilight sighed. “And we almost had her calmed down too…” Big Macintosh nodded his head sadly. “Eeyup.” *** Merry May was having trouble with plan B. Apparently digging tunnels wasn’t as easy as some earth ponies made it look. Dropping her spoon in frustration, she sat down on her haunches and pondered another way to get into the dome. A sudden shouting startled her. As she looked, a burning orange contrail burst from the dome, followed closely by a dark streak. That must have been Princess Applejack! Merry’s eyes widened. Something was chasing her. Merry May nodded to herself once. Her devotion to the princess was supreme. It was up to Merry to see that she was safe. The little pegasus revved up her wings and took flight after the two alicorns. *** Celestia had been taken by surprise when Luna had teleported away. The damage had been done before she’d had time to do anything. Now both her sister and Applejack were shouting like lunatics and racing across the sky going Discord-knows-where. To be honest, Celestia felt like throwing a fit right now as well. Millennia of self-control and discipline held her burning anger and embarrassment in check as she glanced over at the wing commander. A single frown and shake of her head was all he needed to see before immediately ordering his troops to fall-in for the return trip to Canterlot. Dark thoughts boiled in the back of her mind as she remembered others she hadn’t been able to help. She’d ignored her sister’s loneliness and depression, passing it off as a phase. She’d laughed at Discord’s weak little jokes while he had tried to hide his growing pain and confusion. She’d even encouraged Chrysalis’s growing vanity and self-obsession. Then there was Tirek, Grogar… The list of her failures went on and on. *** Applejack flew as hard as she could manage, desperate to stay ahead of Luna. She could tell exactly how close the princess was on her tail. Even without looking, being near Luna felt like staring into the void of space. She was all stone and wisps of interstellar gas and endless distance, shot through with radiation and reflected potential. The fact that she hardly knew what any of that was made it no less unnerving to Applejack. Risking a glance back, she shouted, “Y’ALL CAN STOP FOLLOWIN’ ME NOW!” Luna quickly replied, her voice not quite syncing with the movement of her mouth. “WE SHALL CEASE OUR PURSUIT WHEN THOU CEASEST FLEEING! WE WERE A PEGASUS BEFORE AND ARE NOW THE GODDESS OF THE MIDNIGHT SKY, FLIGHT IS FUTILE!” “AH’M STILL AHEAD OF YA, AIN’T AH? Y’ALL’RE GETTIN’ OLD ‘N’ SLOW!” Luna’s eyes narrowed in anger as she poured on the speed. Applejack desperately went into a dive to keep ahead. They were directly over the heart of the Everfree now, far from civilization. She managed to pull up just shy of the canopy, grateful as the tallest of trees seemed to dodge out of the way for her. Thinking quickly, she reached back with her magic and poured strength into them, widening their already massive trunks and extending their height. As soon as she had done so, she saw it wasn’t going to work. Luna barely had to dodge them. Her outstretched wings neatly sheared their leafy tops off as though they were made of the softest cloud. Applejack shook her head. There had to be some way to outsmart the princess. Far off in the distance, a little green speck fluttered along in the tumultuous wake of the two enraged goddesses. *** In the end, duty won the day. At sunset the burning orb had simply sat there on the horizon, awaiting the arrival of the moon. Apparently, even though she was out of the game, Celestia wasn’t done playing. Luna gritted her teeth. As important as catching Applejack was, she couldn’t afford to play cosmic chicken with her older sister. With a last cry of “THIS ISN’T OVER!” she fluttered to a stop and focused herself on the raising of the moon. The massive expenditure of magic took away her remaining reserves, forcing her to stop and rest for the night. *** Applejack grinned tiredly as she left the Night Princess far behind. She decided to keep flying as far as she could to try and widen the gap. As the forest gave way to desert, she spotted a small rock oasis that might make a decent place to sleep. As she descended, her horn lit up involuntarily and something popped out of the air, bopping her on the nose before falling to the ground. Curious, the alicorn swooped down to grab it. Unfortunately, her overworked wings chose that moment to cramp up, dumping her head-over-tail into the sand. Recovering, she found the offending object and picked it up. It was a scroll, the kind Twilight used to send letters back and forth with Celestia. Applejack grimaced and nearly tossed it aside before noticing the seal. It was an Apple signet. The kind Big Mac sometimes used to seal letters to business partners. Carefully, she pulled apart the wax and unfurled the letter. The first section was in her brother’s painstaking, and surprisingly crisp mouthwriting. Dear Applejack, I hope this letter finds you alright. Twilight says she can send it right to you. I hope you are safe and are not getting into a fight with Luna. I know she has been getting on your nerves, but I am sure that she is alright if you give her a chance. Please come home safe and remember that we love you. Your Brother, Macintosh Apple Underneath this was a section of considerably shakier writing from Applebloom. Dear Applejack, Big brother came by shc school early today to pick me up. I heared that you got real mad and put up this whole dom over our farm. I thnik its pretty cool. He and Twilite say that youer on a trip with Luna and were feeling pretty lonly. lonely. Cheer up! I love you cause youer my big sister! I hope to see you soon! Youer Best Sister, Apple Bloom Finally, there was a section written in the wobbly, looping cursive of her grandma. Dear Applejack, Little Mac and Apple Bloom tell me that you’ve gone on a vacation. That sounds wonderful. I know you put so much time into this farm, and I hope that you take some time for yourself. I know you like to get away sometimes, and that you feel trapped here. Just know that you’ve always got a home on Sweet Apple Acres. Tell your aunt and uncle Orange hello for me and give them my regards. I love you, and no matter where you are, you’ll always be my little Jackie. Your Loving Grandmother, Purity Smith The paper was wet with tears long before she finished reading. With shaking breaths, Applejack tucked the letter under her wing and laid down under a scrub-oak and fell into a fitful sleep.