My Little Denarians

by Chengar Qordath

Up Horse Apple Creek Without a Paddle

Since Lash and I were basically stuck inside Twilight Sparkle's place until she got back, there wasn't a whole lot for us to do to occupy our time. Tic tac toe got old quick.

A bit more practice with my magic confirmed exactly what I already knew; my magic still worked more-or-less the way it always had. Yeah, having my staff be a chunk of bone growing out of my forehead took quite a bit of getting used to, but I had plenty of experience in messing around with magical forces. It was weird, but I've had to deal with plenty of stranger things in my day.

It probably says something about the kind of life I lead that getting turned into a cartoon unicorn with a magic horn and no genitalia was only around #5 or so on the list of the most screwed up and outright weird things that have ever happened to me.

Once I had a handle on my magic, I moved on to the trickier issue of getting used to my new body. After about half an hour of work, I think I'd gotten to the point where I wasn't in danger of stumbling around and tripping over myself like a newborn foal, but the trickier stuff was still a bit hit-or-miss. I needed to get a handle on it quick; I'm not sure how well the Nickleheads might have adapted to running around all ponified, but judging by how quickly Lash got used to her new body it was probably a safe bet that they'd handled the transition better than I was. After all, most of the Denarians would have experience with shifting into their demonic forms every once in a while, while I spent 99.99% of my time as a human.

I was a bit grateful for the fact that I'd spent a couple years on Ebenzar McCoy's farm. Spend enough time around horses, and you do learn a few things about equine anatomy, so at least I had a basic grasp of how a horse was supposed to move. Cartoon ponies worked a bit differently than real-life horses, but I'd take whatever help I could get.

My former Fallen-shadow companion, having already adapted to her new body, quickly got bored of watching me tumble over whenever I tried jumping around or balancing on less than four legs. Eventually, Lash's pacing around and tapping her hooves on the floor started to get just a little bit distracting. "You know, we're in a library. If you're that bored, read a book."

Lash snorted, and a second she'd grabbed a book off the shelf using unicorn telekinesis (something I hadn't even tried to do yet) and then opened it up and shoved it in my face. Unreadable squiggly black lines covered the entire page.

Well, that was a bit of a problem. Guess the animators didn't want to go to all the trouble of actually putting legible text into all the hundreds of books in Twilight Sparkle's library. I wonder what happens if I try to go somewhere that they haven't gotten around to animating yet?

Wait a minute ... if I existed in cartoon-land, did that mean that back in the real world there was a little cartoon pony versions of me and Lash sitting on Lauren Faust's hard drive? Was there someone animating what I was doing right now? Did I have a voice actor following a script and saying all my lines?

Gah. I miss the Fourth Wall.

Before I could drive myself any further into an existential frenzy, Twilight Sparkle finally came back, Spike riding on her back. The first thing I noticed was the scroll she had floating in front of her, presumably the long-awaited response from Princess Celestia.

Following behind her came Rainbow Dash. Judging by the fact that Pinkie Pie was sitting on Dash's back and was currently gnawing on her mane, I figured the weather pegasus had tried to corral some more of those chocolate-filled cotton candy clouds while they were out. "Pinkie Pie," The pegasus groaned "Will ya cut it out and quit trying to eat me?"

Pinkie came up for air long enough to declare. "I'll stop eating you when you stop being so delicious," and started gnawing away on her best friend again.

After the pink sugarphiliac and the victim of her cannibalistic urges came the three ponies I hadn't been properly introduced to yet: Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy. Applejack and Rarity studied Lash and I with obvious curiosity, while Fluttershy hid halfway behind the other ponies and shot nervous glances at us every few seconds.

Twilight let me know that she'd already given the other ponies the rundown on who Lash and I were, so we got right down to making introductions. "Um, hi." I waved at the newcomers with one of my front hooves. "I'm Harry Dresden, and this is my friend Lash."

"Howdy-do, Mr. Dresden." The freckled orange cowpony stepped forward and gave my hoof a vigorous shaking. For some reason, I had a feeling that if we'd both been equipped with hands she would be one of those types who uses a handshake as a way to test her new acquaintance's strength and pain threshold. "The name's Applejack, pleased to meetcha."

The unicorn introduced herself next, daintily extending a single hoof in marked contrast to Applejack's greeting. "A pleasure Mr. Dresden, Ms. Lash. I am Rarity." I took the offered hoof and gave it a gentlemanly kiss.

See, I can have good manners; it's just that most of the time I don't see any reason to bother. As I'd expected she would, the other unicorn made an appreciative little noise at my display of chivalry, though a second later I spotted a baby dragon giving me a fairly impressive death glare. The kid didn't need to get himself so worked up, I knew the Guy Code. Bronies before Ponies.

The yellow pegasus nervously pawed at the ground, and then very quietly said. "My name is Fluttershy." Well, I assume that's what she said; her voice had been a bit too quiet and terrified for me to make out what she actually said.

With introductions done, Twilight Sparkle wasted no time getting down to business. "I finally received a response from Princess Celestia."

"I told you she was just busy with Princess stuff." Spike complained. "But nobody ever listens to me."

"Who?" I asked.

"Me, Spike." The dragon answered.

"Who?" I asked again. Yeah, riling the kid up some more probably wasn't the nicest thing I've ever done, but it was just too much fun not to do.

"Spike. You know, baby dragon, Twilight's number one assistant."

"Who?"

The kid's eye started twitching. "You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?"

"Who?"

"You! Harry Dresden!"

"Who?"

If looks could kill, there would be one less transformed human wizard in Equestria. After a short and slightly awkward pause, the unicorn resumed speaking. "The Princess wants to meet with both you and Lash at once. We will be accompanying you to Canterlot."

"Super." Looks like things were actually going smoothly for once; I already had a meeting with the big boss-lady, and with her help I could probably handle the Nicklehead situation before it got too bad.

"How far is the journey to Canterlot?" Lash asked.

I was tempted to make a terrible joke about how long the journey would take if we moved at a canter, but before I could figure out the most cringe-worthy way to deliver said joke Twilight answered. "The Princess is sending a pegasus chariot to pick us up. It should be here soon."

Another snarking opportunity denied. The purple pony was a formidable adversary.

"Just one chariot for all of us?" From what I remembered of the show, the chariots weren't that big. "Won't that be a bit of a tight fit for all eight of us?"

"Seven." Rainbow Dash corrected. "I'm not gonna sit in a chariot when I could be flying. Especially with how slow those things go. If was flying by myself, I could get to Canterlot in ten minutes flat."

"Um, I guess I could fly too, if we need more room in the chariot." Fluttershy hesitantly offered. "That is, if that's okay with everypony. I mean, I wouldn't want to..."

"Whatever you want to do is fine, Fluttershy." Twilight cut the nervous pegasus off. "In any case, I'm sure the princess sent a big enough chariot to carry all of us."

Twilight's confidence in her mentor proved justified when the chariot arrived a few minutes later, when a four pegasi team arrived carrying a chariot that could probably fit a dozen ponies comfortably. Rainbow Dash still opted to fly on her own, but after a minute or so of cajoling Twilight finally managed to convince Fluttershy that it really wouldn't cause any trouble or inconvenience for the rest of us if she rode in the chariot instead of flying.

The flight itself didn't take all that long, and soon our chariot was hanging over the capital of Equestria. I have to admit, it was a pretty impressive sight, especially from this high up. "There's Canterlot." Twilight commented idly.

"Canterlot." Rarity looked down at the city, entranced.

"Canterlot." Pinkie Pie shot a grin at me.

My inner smartass couldn't resist an opening like that. "It's only a model."

Pinkie fell over onto her back and began laughing like a loon, while the rest of Equestria natives just gave me confused looks. Lash, on the other hand, groaned and sent an annoyed glare in my general direction. I gave her the best approximation of a shrug I could manage while being all horsified. No proper smartass can ignore the opportunity to quote Monty Python, it's in the contract.

The other ponies shot several confused glances between Lash, Pinkie, and myself obviously picking up on the fact that they'd missed something. It's so much harder for me to be a smartass when every single pop culture reference I make flies completely over my audience's head.

I have to admit, the royal palace at Canterlot was a pretty impressive sight. Admittedly, I don't have much experience with equine construction, but the sheer size and opulence of the place seemed to appeal to human aesthetic senses just as much as pony ones. Marble and red carpets never go out of style.

Then again, the only royal palace I could really compare it to was Arctis Tor, and Mab's decorating philosophy was way too one-dimensional. Not that I would complain about how Mab decorated her palace anywhere the Winter Queen herself might hear me. Criticizing her interior decorating skills would probably just prompt her to freeze my eyeballs again or something, and finding out what it feels like to have your eyes frozen once is more than enough as far as I'm concerned.

As soon as the chariot touched down Twilight Sparkle was galloping towards the doors, the rest of us following just a bit behind her (except for Rainbow Dash, who apparently thought it was a race and promptly flew over to the door before Twilight got even halfway there). As soon as she got to the doors, Twilight slammed them open a bit roughly with a burst of telekinesis. "Princess! Princess Celestia! We came as fast as we could."

"Thank you Twilight Sparkle. Thank you all." The Princess was waiting for us, and she sounded dead serious. Not a good sign; from what I remembered of the cartoon, she was usually pretty lighthearted.

I've got a bad feeling about this.

"Is this about Mr. Dresden and his friend? Or is it the weather?" Twilight shot a look at Pinkie and I, and then started tossing out more questions one after the other. "Did Mr. Dresden coming here cause the weird weather? Or is it those Denarians he came here to stop? Why couldn't my magic fix everything? I was sure my spell would-"

Celestia raised a single hoof and said her student's name. Twilight stopped talking so fast that you'd think she had gone mute. "Follow me, my little ponies. There are matters of grave importance we must discuss." A second later, the ruler of Equestria shot a glance at Lash and I, then added. "Mr. Dresden, Ms. Lash, I believe you should join us. I suspect the situation we face is directly tied to your own reasons for being in Equestria."

Yup, less than a minute after I'd shown up things were already starting to turn bad. Someday I'll end up in a situation where everything actually goes according to plan instead of taking a nosedive towards disaster. And when that happens, I'll probably just make a disaster out of everything anyway because I'll be so paranoid I won't be able to believe that I might actually be facing a situation where nothing is going to go wrong.

The princess led us through a hallway that looked like an odd mix of palace and church thanks to the impressive stained glass windows. "An old enemy of mine, one I defeated and imprisoned long ago, has escaped from his prison and now poses a serious threat to all of Equestria." Celestia pointed to one of the stained glass windows, which had a picture of a weird critter who looked like a random combination of a dozen different creatures. "His name is Discord, and he is an ancient and powerful being known as a draconequus, who thrives upon chaos and disharmony."

Horse apples. Lash and I exchanged a glance, and even though we couldn't do the whole psychic hotline mind chat now that she wasn't sitting in my brain, I'm pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing. The Denarians were all about spreading chaos, death, and destruction. They show up in Equestria, and just a bit afterwards some ancient sealed evil in a can chaos critter escapes. No way that could be a coincidence.

"Discord ruled over Equestria before Luna and I ended his reign of terror." Celestia continued. "During his rule, Equestria was in a constant state of misery and disharmony. My sister and I both knew something had to be done; everypony would continue to suffer terribly as long as Discord remained in power. When we discovered the Elements of Harmony and learned how to harness their power, we used the Elements to overthrow Discord and put an end to his tyranny. The magic of the Elements of Harmony imprisoned him within a stone statue, and Equestria was free."

"Awesome!" The short story must have really captured Rainbow Dash's attention to prompt an outburst like that. "You rock, Princess Celestia!"

Personally, I was feeling pretty worried by now. At a rough guess, Twilight Sparkle was my equal in terms of raw magical power (though I had a heck of a lot more practical experience, especially in any sort of combat situation). Celestia was supposed to be an order of magnitude above Twilight, and presumably Luna was roughly equal to her sister in power. It had taken both the princesses and the Elements of Harmony to shut Discord down.

No wonder Nicky and his crew decided to mix themselves up in this. The mental arithmetic I was running through to figure out the power levels I was dealing with was incredibly rough, especially since I have no idea how shifting dimensions would affect Discord's abilities. However, if I was right, and assuming Discord made the transition with his power more-or-less intact, then back in the real world Discord would be able to throw down in the big leagues. The Denarians really didn't need a full-fledged god of chaos on their side.

"Do you think the Denarians freed him?" I asked, feeling a bit awkward about interjecting myself into the conversation.

Princess Celestia regarded me for a moment, and shook her head. "No. Discord escaped from his prison because the spell Luna and I cast upon him has weakened over time, especially after Luna's troubles resulted in the Elements of Harmony falling out of tune with her. However, like you, I doubt that their arrival at the same time that Discord gained his freedom is a coincidence."

"No doubt they intend to parley the assistance they offer Discord here in exchange for gaining his aid in their own endeavors." Lash added. Ah yes, the classic 'I'll help you turn your dimension into a festering hellhole, then you help me turn my dimension into a festering hellhole' deal.

"Discord takes great pleasure in causing chaos wherever he goes." Celestia sounded grim. "I doubt your Denarians would even need to offer him anything, he would travel to your realm simply for the malicious joy of destroying it."

Great, so much for hoping the Nickleheads and Discord would have a falling out then. And if chaos and disharmony made him stronger, I'm pretty sure Earth would be like an all-you-can-eat buffet to him. Hay's bells, he wouldn't just be able to change dimensions with his powers intact, he'd probably be stronger on Earth than he is in Equestria.

The group finally got to the massive gold and jewel encrusted doorway at the end of the hallway. "This is the entrance to the Tower of Canterlot. Equestria's most precious treasures are contained within, including the Elements of Harmony." The princess turned to face the six native Equestrians. "You must take up the Elements of Harmony once more, and use their power to stop Discord before he plunges all of Equestria into anarchy.'

"But why us? Twilight asked. "Wouldn't you and Princess Luna be able to -"

"While Luna and I could use the Elements, the two of us were never able to unleash their full potential. No single pony, not even two ponies working together, can draw upon the full power of the magic of friendship." Celestia pointed a hoof at one of the many stained-glass windows.

"Is that us?" Pinkie Pie squealed.

"We're famous heroes?" Rainbow Dash added. "Hay yeah!"

Celestia gave a tiny ghost of a smile at the two fillies before she explained. "I could only use the Elements of Harmony to banish my sister to the moon. When the six of you wielded them, you were able to unleash their full potential and save my sister. I cannot risk allowing Discord to escape once more; the only thing that can seal him away forever is the full power of the Elements of Harmony. Only the six of you can wield that power. You are the only ones who can stop Discord, and save Equestria."

Twilight hesitated for half a second, and then resolutely declared. "Princess Celestia, you can count on us."

"We ain't gonna let you down." Applejack confirmed.

"I'll make that Discord guy wish he'd never stopped being a statue." Rainbow Dash brashly declared.

"Was there ever any question of whether or not we would take up the Elements for the good of Equestria?" Rarity asked.

"Um ... I'll do my best." Fluttershy squeaked nervously.

When Pinkie Pie didn't immediately offer her own confirmation, the other five wielders of the Elements of Harmony turned to look at her expectantly. "What?" Pinkie sounded just a bit defensive. "Come on guys, eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds."

"Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash groaned. "You can't really care more about a couple sweets than you do about the entire fate of Equestria."

"Well, no, but ... Chocolate. Filled. Cotton. Candy." The ponies glared at her some more. "Fine." Pinkie groaned, sitting down on her haunches and crossing forelegs across her chest in an oddly human-like pout. "But there better be a really big party once we're done. And I'm gonna run it. If I'm giving up chocolate cotton candy clouds, I better get to run the party."

Everyone else, myself included gave a slight chuckle at Pinkie's antics. "I'm sure that once you defeat Discord I can arrange for a celebration of satisfactory scale." Celestia assured the petulant pink party pony.

"Yeah." Pinkie perked right up at the idea. "It'll be as big as Grand Galloping Gala, except loads more funner instead of all stupid and boring. And we won't wreck half the palace this time. Probably."

"I'm delighted to hear it." Darn it, now even the princess was stealing smartass material from me. Princess Celestia then turned to face Lash and I. "Mr. Dresden, Ms. Lash, I regret that due to Discord's return I cannot offer you any assistance with your own quest at this time. However, I believe that face a common enemy in Discord and the Order of the Blackened Denarius. Would you be willing to work alongside the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?"

Even if there hadn't been the whole issue of Discord probably planning to pay Earth a visit once he was done with Equestria, I would've signed up. I've never been very good at saying no when the monsters of the world cause trouble for the good and innocent folks out there. Besides, female cartoon ponies in distress were apparently close enough to damsels in distress to trigger my chivalrous instincts. "You have my word, Princess."

"Harry and I have unfinished business with the Order of the Blackened Denarius." Lash added. "If Discord is their ally, then he shall share their doom."

The ruler of Equestria nodded. "Thank you. I will not forget the service you have performed for Equestria this day." That said, the Princess trotted over to the massive sealed door, and inserted her horn into a small opening in the center of the door. With a loud series of clanks and humming magical sounds, the door opened, and the princess brought out a single gem-encrusted chest with her telekinesis.

"Ladies, the Elements of Harmony." Celestia opened the chest, and every other pony let out a gasp of shock. A second later Celestia herself looked into the chest, which promptly fell to the ground when the princess released her telekinesis spell in surprise.

Did I mention that the chest that was supposed to contain the only weapons capable of defeating Discord was empty?

"H-how can this be?" Celestia gasped, sounding frighteningly shaken for a being with such godlike power. "I sealed the Elements in that chamber myself. Nopony should be capable of gaining access to the Elements except me. Not even Luna could break that spell! It's impossible for somepony to just slip past all of my defenses and steal the elements!"

And that's when I heard it. For a moment I thought it must just be an odd draft passing through the castle, but a second later there was no denying what it was. The sound of mocking laughter. I could guess what was coming up next; the bad guy would show up in some sort of unfightable form, and mock us for a bit while crowing about the inevitability of his victory. Seriously, is there some sort of 'How to be a clichéd bad guy' school that teaches every budding baddie all the rules they have to follow and how ham it up like they're in a low budget B-movie?

Too bad Nicodemus never went to that school. He didn't even have the decency to explain his entire plan to me the last time he'd had me beaten and at his mercy. Pretty sure Tessa and Deirdre took a few courses there though.

Eventually the voice that I was assuming belonged to Discord laughed itself out, and moved on to the next part of the script. "Really now Celestia, life would just be so incredibly boring if I limited myself to only doing things that are supposed to be possible."

"Discord!" Celestia snapped. "Show yourself!"

Discord gave a few more mocking chuckles, and then drawled. "Well, since you asked so nicely..." There was a flash of light and a weird honking sound, and then the creature from the stained glass window stood before us in all his mismatched glory. "Really now Celestia, if you'd missed me that much you always could have come by the gardens to visit. It can get rather lonely, being encased in stone." The draconequus's voice turned acidic when he added. "Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone!"

Wow, bitter much?

A moment later, Discord was right back to his light, mocking tone, every trace of anger gone. "You could have at least given me some company instead of leaving me all by myself for so long. Perhaps your sister. I can only imagine how lonely poor Luna must been all those years after you banished her to the moon. You should have turned her into a statue too, and put her in the garden right next to me so we could keep each other company."

"Enough!" Celestia wasn't quite shouting, but her voice had gone up quite a bit. Looks like Discord really knew how to push her buttons. "What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?"

"Oh yes, after all the trouble I've gone to stealing them and hiding them away I'll certainly tell you where to find the only things that might be able to stop just because you asked." Discord almost sounded bored. "You needn't be so worried Celestia, I've only borrowed them for a teensy little while."

Celestia stomped a hoof on the floor. "You'll never get away with this, Discord!"

"Oh yes, I've never heard that before." Discord snapped his talons and there was a couch in the middle of the room. The draconequus lounged back on it, looking utterly unconcerned. "Let me guess, next you plan to say that you will stop me, yes? Ah, I'd forgotten how grim you could be, Celestia. It's really quite boring. You should really just sit back and enjoy the chaos for a bit, it will improve your attitude."

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash shot over and got right into the Draconequus's face. "Nopony insults the Princess!" The pegasus did a quick spin and tried to buck Discord right in the face. Discord snapped his fingers, and suddenly Rainbow Dash was on the other side of the room, kicking through a rather expensive-looking window instead.

Discord gave another snap of his fingers, and suddenly Rainbow Dash didn't have a mouth any more. "Quiet now little one." Discord said mockingly. "Mommy and daddy are busy having grown-up talk."

Celestia's horn flashed, and Rainbow Dash got her mouth back. The Princess took a quick step to the side, placing herself firmly between the rest of us and Discord.

The incarnation of disharmony grinned at the Princess. "Don't worry; I won't do anything too irreparable to your precious little ponies just yet. It would spoil the fun. Now, where were we before I was so rudely interrupted? Ah yes. Your sister, now she knows how to have a good time. Her efforts to bring about the Night that Never Ends were the best entertainment I had in the entire time you had me imprisoned. Perhaps I should be talking to her instead of you, I'm sure she could appreciate what I'm trying to do here."

Celestia pawed at the ground. "Leave my sister out of this."

"Oh, but including her in the conversation makes it all so much more interesting. I wonder, Celestia, did you ever learn the real reason that dear little Luna became Nightmare Moon?"

The Princess' muscles tensed, and I swore the temperature inside the room shot up several degrees. Stars and stones, I knew what Discord's game was now. I'd been on the receiving end of it often enough. Find a chink in your opponent's mental armor, and just hammer away at it until you push them to the breaking point, and they do something very angry and not very bright. All he had to do was keep hammering on the Luna issue, and Celestia's self-control would go right out the window.

"Princess, don't -" Was as far as I got before my throat locked up, and I couldn't say another word. Discord shot a smirk at me over Celestia's shoulder. I tried to get Celestia's attention so she could remove the spell, and got my movement frozen too for my trouble. Pony feathers, I'd been completely shut down.

"I think I'll let you in on the secret." Discord mock-whispered to the Princess. "I did it." When those words left Discord's mouth, the ambient temperature shot up enough to make me start sweating. "Right before the two of you finished sealing me in stone with your precious Elements of Harmony I took a little look inside your sister's mind, and found that wonderful little bit of resentment buried deep down. All I had to do was give it a little push, just a tiny bit of encouragement, and it all fell into place. Madness, my dear Celestia, is just like gravity; all it needs is a little push."

I could practically hear Celestia's teeth grinding together, and by now the room was hot enough that you could probably use it to bake cupcakes. I heard a couple strangled sounds around me, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Twilight Sparkle, looking just as paralyzed as I was. I'm pretty sure Discord had the other ponies taken out of the game too. He didn't want anyone spoiling the coup de grace.

With a grin, Discord looked Celestia right in the eye and very slowly and deliberately said. "Maybe I should visit dear Luna again. I'm sure Nightmare Moon and I could have so much fun together."

Discord's paralysis spell ended, but before I could actually do anything the entire room exploded. The rest of the normal ponies and I all went flying back from Celestia; I bounced off a wall hard enough to sting, but I don't think I took any serious damage. The flash of light and the titanic boom of the explosion were a bigger concern; my eyes and ears had both been completely overloaded.

Lucky for me, one of the advantages of being the Winter Knight was being able to bounce back from taking a bit of damage, and this wasn't exactly the first time in my life I'd gotten tossed around by a big explosion. When my eyes and ears started working again, I was impressed that I'd gotten out of this mess in one piece. It looked like more than half the palace was gone, and there were chunks of rubble lying around that were more than big enough to crush a couple ponies.

Discord was still lounging on his couch, wearing a delighted little smile. Princess Celestia faced him, and ... wow.

I've seen my share of really powerful and really pissed of beings in my time. Celestia was definitely pretty close to the top in terms of raw power, and more than made up the rest by being utterly incandescent with fury. Beings like Mab and Uriel could get plenty angry, especially when I was being my usual charming self, but supernatural beings always had a certain layer of detachment that kept them from hitting the level of pure 'How dare you threaten my family!' rage that Celestia was tapping into now. The explosion that knocked us all back was probably a blessing in disguise, because I'm pretty sure she would've flash-fried the lot of us if we'd been anywhere close to her.

"Temper temper, Celestia." If the sight of the enraged princess intimidated Discord, he didn't show it.

A wave of magical fire slammed into the Draconequus. "YOU. WILL. NOT. HURT. MY. SISTER." The Princess punctuated each word with another blast of fire, and by the time she finished a pretty nice-sized chunk of what was left of the palace was now a brand-new lake of molten stone and fresh-made magma.

For a second I wondered if she'd actually managed to finish Discord off, but then he popped his mismatched head out of the new lava lake, and began casually doing the backstroke. "Really now Celestia, there's no need to work yourself up into such a state. I'm sure Luna will have a wonderful time helping me spread chaos across Equestria."

The next blast of solar flame she unleashed on Discord made her previous attacks look like little candles by comparison. I quickly averted my eyes, and shut them for good measure. I'd learned when I was a little kid that unless you want to permanently ruin your eyes you should never look directly at the sun.

I've been around plenty of powerful beings in my time, but I don't think I'd ever seen one throwing that much raw power around before. The only thing I could think of that was on that scale was the ritual spell I'd unleashed at Chichen Itza, and I had two minute gap in my memory surrounding the moment when I'd unleashed that bit of magic. Celestia wasn't throwing quite that much power around, but it was definitely a close second. I'm not sure if Celestia unleashed all her wrath in just a couple seconds, or if I just blacked out for a bit from the sheer amount of magical energy saturating the area.

Either way, eventually Celestia's magical assault came to an end. When I finally dared to look there was a thick cloud of smoke covering the area, but from what I could see there was an impressive lack of the collateral damage I'd been expecting; even when she's in full-blown rage mode, Celestia still had the presence of mind to protect her subjects. When I get pissed off enough to cut loose, I'm usually not that thoughtful.

The rest of the ponies were staring at Celestia with expressions somewhere between awe and utter terror. I could relate.

Celestia herself was very obviously tapped out. Sweat was streaking down her normally pristine coat, and she was breathing heavily. Looks like even Princess Celestia has her limits.

I heard the unmistakable sound of snapping fingers, and a moment later the smoke hanging over the area cleared. Discord stood there, casual as you please, a pair of ridiculous sunglasses perched on his face. "Thank you Celestia, being turned into a statue for more than a thousand years absolutely ruined my tan."

Not good. Celestia had tossed everything she had at Discord, and it accomplished nothing. No doubt, that had been the draconequus's plan from the beginning; push her into losing her temper and using up all her power in a single direct assault.

"Now, I do have some good news for you, dear Celestia." Celestia tried to launch another attack against Discord, but the spell fizzled out halfway ther. "I won't do anything to your dear little sister. Really now, you should have known better; I would never do something so boring as use the same trick twice. Especially not when I can do something far more interesting, like corrupt you instead."

"You -" Whatever else Celestia was about to say got cut off when Discord snapped his fingers, and he disappeared along with the ruler of Equestria disappeared in a flash of light.

So, no Elements of Harmony, and no Princess. Looks like we're officially in deep horse apples.

Comments

[Cloudhammer]

I see what you did there. An excellent reference friend
Really curious to see how you deviate this story from the Season 2 opening

[SatoshiKyu]

Corrupt Celestia? Don't see how it's possible, personally, what with the sun being a taint-cleansing force in both dimensions. Either way, it's really bleeding exciting and I can't wait for more!

[Spec Ops Pupper]

"its only a model" had me rolling on the floor laughing like i was being assaulted by a squad of tickle monsters
yeah
i said it
tickle monsters
anyway
great story
that is all
kthanxbai

[Chengar Qordath]

Made a minor edit to the chapter to fix something that would cause a continuity error with the upcoming Chapter 14.

[Midnight Blues]

hmmmm copy and paste much? I hope you don't tie in Harry with all the future episodes with him playing some side role, It'd get boring REALLY FAST. Anywho good job with the story so far.

[Nyerguds]

"Won't that be a bit of a tight fit for all eight of us?"

"Seven." Rainbow Dash corrected.

You utter bastard. Now you got Rainbow Dash ignoring Spike too

"Canterlot." Rarity looked down at the city, entranced.

"Canterlot." Pinkie Pie shot a grin at me.

My inner smartass couldn't resist an opening like that. "It's only a model."

Pinkie fell over onto her back and began laughing like a loon, while the rest of Equestria natives just gave me confused looks. Lash, on the other hand, groaned and sent an annoyed glare in my general direction. I gave her the best approximation of a shrug I could manage while being all horsified. No proper smartass can ignore the opportunity to quote Monty Python, it's in the contract.

Glorious

"However, like you, I doubt that their arrival at the same time that Discord gained his freedom is a coincidence."

Ooooh. I know how this happened. Niccy stole the scripts of the next season!

"You -" Whatever else Celestia was about to say got cut off when Discord snapped his fingers, and he disappeared along with the ruler of Equestria disappeared in a flash of light.

Well now. That didn't quite go like in the episode

Remarks and corrections:
> the only things that might be able to stop just because you asked.
Think there's a word missing there. "that might be able to stop [me]"
> really powerful and really pissed of beings
"pissed [off]"

[Midnight Loki]

No proper smartass can ignore the opportunity to quote Monty Python, it's in the contract.

[ClosetKnight]

203285 sqrpt.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Tickle-Monster-Squirrels-random-8047988-379-268.jpg

[InfinityHunter]

It would make an interesting story if "Nightmare Moon" was a Denarian, and Luna somehow gained access to a coin. It would kind of make sense. Anyway, great story so far.

[Lord_01010000]

Well time for Solar Flare, or what ever the evil Celestia is going to be called, to appear. Celestia turning evil scares me more then Nightmare Moon.
orig15.deviantart.net/5e33/f/2014/128/1/5/enraged_solar_flare_by_sorelstrasz-d7h3f3o.png

[Ralfil]

An okay story I guess, but it doesn't feel quite gritty enough to be one with Harry Dresden in it.

[A Wild Magikarp]

It's only a model.

Shhh!

[erictheblue]

"Who?" I asked.

"Me, Spike." The dragon answered.

"Who?" I asked again. Yeah, riling the kid up some more probably wasn't the nicest thing I've ever done, but it was just too much fun not to do.

"Spike. You know, baby dragon, Twilight's number one assistant."

"Who?"

The kid's eye started twitching. "You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?"

"Who?"

"You! Harry Dresden!"

when did Harry turn into Owlicious?

[erictheblue]

6226543
ironically, an evil Celestia appeared in the S7 episode "royal problems"!

[Altirian]

Gah. I miss the Fourth Wall.

You and most people who get it torn down, Dresden...