Chapter Fifteen: Barbarízein
Applejack stirred before opening her eyes. She was under some sort of blanket. Snuffling her way out from underneath, she stretched her neck out and slowly opened her eyes. The drenched and shattered wasteland she had fallen asleep in was gone. In its place was a massive and richly embroidered tent, floored with sweet grass. She was lying on a canvas cot. Across the room sat Merry May, snoozing gently and wearing a turban. Applejack brought a hoof to the bridge of her nose and let out a deep breath. “Merry…”
The little pegasus startled awake. She looked at Applejack with glittering eyes and let out a loud whistle towards the tent flap. Standing up, she trotted over to Applejack and curtsied. “How are you, mistress?”
“Ah’m fine. Where did y’all get tha tent? An’ don’t call me mistress.”
Before Merry could answer, a gangly camel nudged the tent flap aside. In his mouth was a large platter with several pieces of some kind of bread, stuffed with piping hot vegetables and a pungent sauce. He set the platter on a low table, bowed deeply, and left again. Merry giggled, turning back to her idol. “That’s where! I ran into a herd of camels traveling the southern deserts and convinced them to follow the spots of greenery that you left behind. I don’t know if we would have ever caught up to you if it weren’t for the explosion.”
Applejack, still groggy and willing to humor the mare, asked, “Explosion?”
“There was a massive explosion of water and rock and fire! It came from the opposite direction we were following, but I said to myself, ‘self, that’s probably her!’ So we switched course and found you in some kind of swampy jungle. The camels were really impressed. They said that this place used to be completely dead. Now they want to follow you too! Isn’t it wonderful?” Merry smiled, fit to burst.
“Merry, Ah don’t need followers. And whut happened ta Luna?”
A confused look washed over Merry’s face before answering with venom in her voice. “Luna… We put her somewhere where you could deal with her. She tried to hurt you!”
Applejack sprang fully upright at that. “Whut. Did. You. Do. Take me ta her now.”
Merry skittered back at the sudden intensity in AJ’s voice. “Y-yes milady.” She dashed out of the tent, AJ hard on her heels. Outside Applejack could see that they were in a large grassy plain. In front of them the land sloped down into a shallow tree-filled basin where the water from her fight had collected. Merry May immediately took wing and swooped towards the little grove. Applejack kept to the ground, easily keeping pace. Through the little stand of trees there was a large boulder wrapped in chains. Strapped to the top was Luna, looking very uncomfortable in her sleep.
Wasting no time, Applejack bit down on one of the chains and ripped it free. Spitting out the metal, she turned on Merry May. “Luna’s far more of a goddess than Ah am. Y’all will get her over to tha camp right now an’ do fer her whatever ya did fer me, y’hear?” The little pony trembled and dashed off towards the camp, yelling at the milling camels.
In the meantime, Applejack gently lowered the mishandled princess down from the stone and started hauling her out of the little swamp. She was met halfway by a couple of camels carrying a stretcher. One of them nodded graciously to her and said, “We shell take her, lady D’jinn.” His accent was quite strong, but understandable.
Applejack nodded back, “Thank yeh kindly.” She rolled Luna gently off her back and onto the stretcher. “But mah name ain’t Gin, though Ah guess y’all are close in a way… It’s Applejack.”
The camel stared at AJ for a minute before tossing his head dismissively. “Very well, lady Epplejeck.” They trotted back to the camp in companionable silence. Luna was carefully placed in a corner where several of the she-camels tended her and brushed her fur. Merry May hovered nervously at AJ’s side. Applejack watched them care for Luna until she was satisfied that they would treat her gently. Turning to Merry, she said, “Have y’all had lunch yet? Ah think Ah can spare one a them funny sandwiches.”
***
The meal had passed in silence. Merry had been too nervous to speak, while Applejack had been far too hungry. Finally sated, she turned to her erstwhile disciple and asked, “So, Merry. Why, ex-actly do ya wanna follow me?”
Merry looked shocked. “Uh, I, you’re beautiful and powerful and strong and you are… I mean, why wouldn’t I?”
“Sapphire Shores is all a those, and a sight prettier ‘n’ better at singin’ to boot. Why not drool over her like tha rest a her fans?”
Merry quirked her mouth to the side and shook her head. “But, she doesn’t matter like you do.”
“Ah ain’t no better than anypony else. Besides, if yer lookin fer a goddess, Luna an’ Celestia have tons more experience than Ah do.”
“They have other ponies to look after them. And, if you aren’t any better than anypony else, how come you can make the world wake up?”
Applejack sat for a minute. “Well, Ah don’t rightly know.”
Merry May smirked, then frowned, not quite sure how to take having bested her goddess in a battle of wits.
***
The trip back to Equestria was going to take the better part of a week on hoof, even with Applejack pulling the largest wagon solo. The camels were quite convivial despite the obvious deference they showed her. They were nomads and explorers, like most of their kind. Their clan hadn’t been back to their homeland across the seas in nearly a decade, and the stories they had to tell stretched imagination. At the moment though, Applejack was busy trying to read, pull a cart and use magic all at once. A second letter had arrived on the second day of their return journey. It contained little, loving notes from her family and friends, and a letter from Celestia.
Dear Applejack,
I know that this letter will find you well. Luna visited me in a dream and has filled me in on what has transpired between you, in addition to my own ways of gathering information. I’m glad you are on better terms and I hope to call you sister as well. On the other hoof, that leads to certain complications of a legal nature. Whether or not you choose to invoke the title, you are by right a sovereign, reigning princess of Equestria with all the rights thereunto pertaining. The foremost of your rights as such is to form an honor-guard or similar organization under your exclusive command of whatsoever volunteers you desire. Their salaries are to be paid directly from the national treasury. Before you dismiss this as being needless and pretentious, consider your current situation carefully. Other duties and responsibilities you should wish to perform can be discussed at another date.
Your sister in harmony,
Celestia
Applejack furled the scroll and tucked it into her harness for safekeeping. She frowned for a while in thought, her eyes occasionally darting over to Merry May. She was currently helping to pull a small cart and chatting animatedly with one of the camels, no doubt extolling Applejack’s virtues and power. A royal guard did not sound like something AJ wanted. What would she do with a contingent of soldiers? On the other hand, the letter had specified that the particulars of the organization were up to her. Celestia had asked her to think about it, so it was obvious she was driving at something.
Her mind wandered back to her experience in the Ponyville market. It’d be impossible to sell apples from behind a barrier of steel and muscle, and something about the thought of hiring royal sales-ponies left a sick taste in her mouth. She’d probably have to hire somepony to keep curious ponies out of the farm… Again, though, that seemed to be missing the point of Celestia’s offer. Grunting, she called out to the camel pulling alongside Merry, “Hay! Musaafir! Can yuh spare Merry fer a bit?”
“Certainly, miss D’jinn! Though I shell miss her company.”
Applejack mentally shrugged at the name they seemed to have given her. “Mah thanks then fer lettin’ me borrow her. Merry? Ah’d like a word with yeh if ya don’t mind.”
Merry hesitated, then slipped free of her harness and trotted over to Applejack. She bobbed her head in an approximation of a walking bow. “What do you need, milady?”
Applejack waited a minute to get her thoughts straight. Looking over at Merry, she said, “Ah’m gonna ask ya agin. Why do y’all want ta follow me?”
Merry sighed, “I-I didn’t really know in the beginning, but now… I wish you would understand… You can do so much and-and bring so much beauty to the world. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve seen even more how you leave every place you’ve been better. Even where you and Luna fought, the land is alive again. If, um, if there is any way I can help you bring that beauty to other ponies, shouldn’t I do that?”
“Well, Ah can’t say Ah’ve appreciated ever’thing ya’ve done.” Merry’s face fell. “But, Ah do appreciate yeh comin’ after me.” Merry brightened. “If there was a way y’all could help me ‘n’ make ponies’ lives easier, would ya do it?”
“Yes! Anything you like!” Merry skipped along, excited.
“Well, Ah get ta form mah own sorta royal guard, bein’ technically a princess and all. Ah don’t want soldiers, though. Ah suppose that bein’ an alicorn, mah family’s bigger’n Granny, Mac ‘n’ Blooms. Ah should do what Ah can fer the world. Ah think that’s whut mah guard should be. Somethin’ ta help me help others. Ah think, maybe, Ah’d like you be mah first captain.”
Merry May shot into the air with excitement. “Really!?”
“Now hold on jest an apple pickin’ minute, y'all gotta promise ta follow orders and ya gotta pass a test first!”
“I'll do anything!”
“Anythin’?”
“Yes!”
Applejack smirked, she had Merry right where she wanted her. “Well, before y’all can join mah guard, ya gotta prove yer country enough.”
“Huh?”
“Show me how country ya are and Ah’ll let’cha join.”
“I, uh, Ah ken.. dew thee-at… Uh, yep-howdy.”
“Hmm… Nnope. Not good ‘nuff. Keep tryin’.”
There we go, out of the dream. I've
destroyeddamaged my buffer, so it'll be a couple of days before the next update.The chapter title doesn't refer to the camels.
Musaafir is Arabic for wanderer.
The ending amuses me greatly. Have a mustache.
Awww WUUUUUT? Merry doesn't get punished for nearly driving AJ into a breakown? I was hoping she'd be turned into a tree or a celery stalk or something.... You'd best be quickly redeeming Merry, Since you gave me a right powerful dislike of her. I have no doubts within a chapter or three I'll adore her and wonder how I could've come to dislike her in the first place though. Darn those good writers and their ability to give me feels
I just love how fast you update.
Interesting ending.
-Minty
1677377
Seconded.
Awesome, I finish reading one update for this story just before another update comes out.
Nice to see everyone's putting the idiot balls down, good chapter as always. I sort of hope Applejack has some deeper meaning in mind when she says she wants Merry to "prove she's country."
why does applejack remind me of mufasa from lion king? and the camel' voices rad with a Russian accent to me.
1677377>>1677430
residentadvisor.net/images/clubs/uk-moustache-bar.jpg
Got it.
1677402 Wow, bloodthirsty much?
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10786366.jpg
I kid.
1677419 That speed of updates is because I am actually a post-singularity gestalt mind that ingests the dreams of children and the regrets of the old and spews them out in digital format.
1677422 See previous answer.
1677434
1677473 Huh? Deeper meaning? You aren't getting *ahem* Shakespearian on me are you? (obscure joke)
1677529 I'm now imagining Rafiki holding up filly AJ on Pride Rock... That's amazing.
1677547 good you got the mustache.
1675045
sorry, did I give an impression that I was in the argument? I was just agreeing with the guy who pulled his facts straight from the story without interpretating them as something else. She already knew she was going to have greater responsibilities, she just wanted to spend the rest of her family's time with them before moving on right? That is what I'm waiting for, that moment of realization of sheer stupidity upon Luna's part that all the face-palms in the world couldn't even begin to describe.
Now if I have somehow misinterpreted AJ's thoughts and reasoning's on what she is doing and why she is doing what she is doing feel free to take that all inclusive shovel to my head, and then bash yourself with it a couple of times too.
Yay! Merry May!
Now she just needs to turn out to be a ninja and help fight off hordes of changelings or something. And somehow become super country and such. Maybe AJ's new 'guards' will all wear cowboy hats as part of their uniform (similar to how the Texas State Troopers do).
Also, AJ is finally taking off her asshat. I wonder if she plans of turning Sweet Apple Acres into her new palace.
1677547
Milk for the Khorne flakes!
If want to be country enough you got to wear a hat. No debate.
1677547 there's actually several dick jokes in Romeo & Juliet
1677547
Well, this may just be my understanding of Applejack's character, but I don't feel like she'd be telling ponies to speak in as stereotypical a southern accent as they can devise. I was thinking maybe she was telling Merry that she needs to embrace that country life simplicity that let Applejack notice she'd turned into an alicorn, go "huh, how about that?" and just go back to work, instead of going nuts over the fact that she just turned into a goddess. *shrug*
Just my outlook on what that line might have meant.
Show me that you're country enough? This is going to be entertaining.
Dat ending, so much lulz.
Interesting fact from the show:
Many think that Applejack has a country accent like you'd hear in a western movie. Not so. The accent used is closer to what is heard in the Southern USA. Around the Georgia, Tennessee area. So technically Applejack is more redneck than country with her voice.
I should know being a redneck... SSSHHHH!!!
1677570
Eh, it'll probably be the same old sweet apple acres, just with an extra room for royal appointments.
1677654
Don't matter a bit, work still needs done. Yeah, I can see that.
When I first though about AJ needing her own guard (after the market scene I think) I imagined an earth pony with a bucket on his head.
Also, I cracked up at the Gin joke. I really shouldn't read comedy updates late at night.
After watching the flashback, AJ seems to be getting a hang on all that goddess thing
Well, that was kinda mean of AJ. I guess becoming an Alicorn also turns you into a troll too.
By the way, did we ever get a picture of Her new Cutiemark? I don't even remember how it was described.
1677547 Compared to some of the Ideas I DID have, that one was all sunshine and rainbows.
I can't find a single flaw in this. You don't need me ;P
1677819 A cross in a circle (symbol of earth element) on an apple leaf.
1677570>>1677592 Well, at the moment she's wearing a turban.
1677580 just
1677645 Yeah, I had to shelf that material. I'll explore it later maybe, in a side-fic.
1677654 Ah! Yes. That is correct. She does want her to get more than the accent. The accent is just a way to gently tease.
1677688
1677702 I'm from the northwest. I associate 'western' with coffee-sipping hipsters sitting in a rain-drenched cafe while a flower child tries to sell them hemp bookbags, because that's what I grew up with. When I say country I think south, and I associate the accent with my Georgian friends. Sooo. Cultural impasse.
1677787 Hah, I can just picture Apple Bloom wearing a tin pan and standing at attention with the rest of the guard.
1677819 No pictures. I'm not fancy enough to afford fanart. I had described it as a blue circle with crosshairs (the symbol of terra) resting on a green, stylized... 1677941 Ah been Ninja'd!
1677882 It's quite logical, especially considering the time frame. Don't worry. It will be resolved.
1677890 No, I'm a pretty good grammarian. Glad you tried. That means a lot to me.
Merry tries to redeem herself.
Applejack doesn't like the idea of a Guard, but it is necessary. I mean it would help put her friend's minds at ease since she'll be a target for danger and all that.
I mean hearing AJ die by a group of assassins would be nasty thing to hear for AJ's friends.
At the very least, she can form it with people she already trusts. Ponies she knows that would respect her privacy. Who knows? She could train their strength with applebucking and teach them how to make a hogtie. It'll be fun!
1677402 1677853
Yeah, it's like Merry can learn from her mistakes or something. It's crazy! It's like she's a sentient being or something.
1677375
Hurg, disappointed with the show and myself then. :/ I guess the maredom of it all is supposed to be part of it's charm however.
If it's beauty she's after, Merry hooked up with the wrong pony.
1678315
You don't need to be disappointed with the show, the show never said Star Swirl was a mare.
1675045
You're welcome. I just hope I'm following the story properly.
Maybe you remember my warning regarding 'flying objects' and why you should expect them, but it would seem that now there's the fact that you may yet face another threat to your sanity and hopefully I can offer some words of wisdom(WARNING: I might be full of myself.) on the matter:
It would seem that you have some over-eager readers who may be having trouble judging and measuring an unfinished story properly and may find themselves conflicting with the limited viewpoints of others; By limited, I mean that the only way to measure a story properly is if... A: It's finished... and B: It's read all the way through... which is obviously not possible here for ANYONE yet.
Speculation abounds with just about every reader. Only YOU know what's gonna happen, but, some readers WANT something to happen more than they hope for it. The remedy? A finished story that will hopefully satisfy those ever eager hearts. The fact that they're still reading shows they have interest in seing it through.
True, the end is quite a ways off so you'll just have to hang in there like a boss. To help, I give you a motivational video and some uplifting music!:
prove she is country enough... I know exactly what she means
Oh lol
Oh sweet, sweet update you fill me with glee!
Merry May is back, Celestia suggests like a pro and Applejack is starting to relax again. Quite a turnabout from the downer that was the "Luna arc"; The story returns to the lighthearted setting it was meant to be.(Whether or not it lasts is someone else's problem.)
The idea that a new 'division' of Equestrian royalty will be left up to Applejack spells posible shenanigans.(Here's one hint: It starts with 'C' and ends with 'utie Mark Crusaders'.)
If applejack somehow ends up with 12 captains spreading her word through equestria and one of them betrays her, i think i might stop reading this.
1677990
1678043 I've said this before, but,
i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/5/10/Pt2t9n_7v0eqYmwIIm5NqQ2.jpg
1678150 Life lessons and character growth? Overcoming differences? That's ridiculous! What kinda show do you think mlp is that I should write that!?
1678383 Fact. She is still, however, suffering from severe AJ-Lisztomania.
1678423 ... I must admit. I have never understood DBZ. On the other hand, I love Modest Mouse. Xtreeeeem Motivation Get!
1678426
lh5.googleusercontent.com/-8chS9zi-dN0/ULG9UAaNE6I/AAAAAAAAAIQ/CBuzYaN_7Gs/s400/Zecora+Hmmm.png
1678440 Ah, but this isn't just any alicorn fic. It's a one of a kind ride.
1678581
1678617 Hehe, I keep telling you guys, sequel.
1678664 There is so much wrong with that comment. First, I'm not crass. I wouldn't be that blatant. Second, if it was well written, who cares? Narnia was great fantasy wasn't it? Relax. If I'm religious, that's no threat to you.
1678724 Fair point.
1677580 Welp. I lost it. Took me ten minutes to compose myself enough to type this. *LOL*
1678748
Might. The writing is good enough you could go in that direction and i'd keep reading it. Sadly bemused applejack is a rather poor emote for sarcasm, but apropos for the nature of the story.
1678798 Ah, fair. I apologize if I was confrontational. This is why I stay away from using sarcasm on the internet. I can't detect it myself. Thanks for the vote of confidence!
1677547
BURN THE HERETIC!
KILL THE MUTANT!
PURGE THE UNCLEAN!
"Country enough"? Simple: make some grits and red eye gravy.
And don't give me that "ponies are herbivores" stuff, I know they're really carnivorous horses. ;)
"What!"
"Aheh, I thought you knew?"
"Rainbow, how could you?"
"It's just so darn tasty!"
"I knew it, I'm surrounded by—"
TRANSMISSION TERMINATED
1678748
Did you at least pretend to replace Piccolo's head with yours? I DARE you to keep a straight face.
--
I won't forget that you've already mentioned how much more you'll be willing to pour into this little universe of yours. I don't care if I can't ever know what's actually coming ahead of time, I know I'm gonna enjoy it. I trust your storytelling.
That's right. I am now your Merry May.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Wait! Let me rephrase that.
1678878
I personally prefer real carnivorous horses as a reference
1678664
Okay, story is funny as it is. But this comment adds more lulz
But seriously though, how did you come up with that idea?
I am not sure what to expect, but looks like she will try to do something to stay at farm for as long as she can (as stated earlier) to live with her family. Any way possible. Unless something happens that makes that wish impossible to accomplish. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Queen_Chrysalis.png
My first reaction after reading this was "Applejack is founding the Salvation Army...no..THE NATURE ARMY!"
And am I really the only one who likes Merry? I mean yeah she can be annoying but it feels like her heart is in the right place.
And wouldn't you freak the fuck out if suddenly your local fruit store dude turned into a GOD?
1679192
If that is true, then it only makes real horses that much more badass and thus more worthy of being the steeds of crazy, psychotic ape-people like ourselves.
Seriously, I'd ride a fricken' giant wolf a la the Orcs in WoW. If a horse can be as nasty as one of those, then screw the wolves, we got our favored mother****er of a mount right in the good ol' murderous horse.
Truly, a match made in Heaven and forged in the Hell of this cursed world. We face death and the vagaries of a hostile world that seeks every chance to undo us. The alliance of humans and those animals that get domesticated has triumphed and murdered all in our path. VICTORY!
The interactions with Merry are quite interesting aren't they? It could be that Applejack's first stalker might have a clearer idea of what good Applejack could do that the mare does herself!
I find myself wondering just what eccentric 'organisation' she's thinking up and just how 'country' Merry May is going to have to be. Rainbow Dash is more of the prankster but I do wonder if Applejack's first divine prank will be to set up a cult just to see how many stupid things she can get a pony to do because it's is a 'divine command'. First up: chaps and cowpony boots!
1677547 MILK FOR THE KHORNEFLAKES.
1677547 You eat kids dreams and regurtitate them as fanfiction? Okay...
I love this fic, but it's missing something, something important....
Oh yeah, I haven't seen any Stan Marsh "I'm a little bit country" pics in the comments yet! Get to people who aren't too lazy to figure out how the hell to do it!