It was supposed to be a test, one of monumental weight that decided the future of Equestria. Sending Twilight and her friends to save the Crystal Empire. Celestia had doubts but she thought they were able to step up to the challenge.

But to her worry, she had not received a report or letter for the past two hours. What kind of heinous punishments was Twilight enduring? What vile, disastrous magic was being inflicted upon her?

Would Sombra even keep her alive?

Celestia quivered in the wake of the possible answer that Twilight was unsuccessful in defeating a true villain.

Picture, if you will, the most mundane of existences that could ever be imagined on our planet. What you just thought up was probably very much like my own, happy, regular, uninteresting-in-every-possible-way life. Simply mix in a healthy dose of 'staying away from women or romance of any kind at all costs' and you've got it down pat.

Well, that didn't last long.

I guess all that boring-ness was saved up in some cosmic karma pool or something, because I've suddenly woken up in a strange pony land where everything's flip-flopped and I'm treated like a helpless child. And all with a new body, to boot!

Joy of all joys.

Hi, my name's Heath. Here's my story.

RGRE

This narrative is essentially the culmination of everything I've wanted to see happen in similarly-themed stories but never did. It is my belief that perhaps the best reason for writing a story is that you really want to read one that has not yet been written. That was certainly the case for Libero.

In any case, I won't spoil too much, but the purposeful lack of Comedy, Human, or Slice Of Life tags should be indication enough that this fic will not be following the path of its predecessors.

Updates will likely be very sparse, as that's just the kind of writer I am.

What was going to be a relaxing weekend camping turns into a nightmare as a human gets lost in an unknown forest. Also, his phone decides to stop working for some reason, so he can't use it to orient himself or even for an emergency call. Maybe it's not the phone's fault at all, because you all can imagine where he actually is now.

Will there be adventure? Maybe a little at the beginning, but mostly slice of life afterwards. Sudden unknown OP human abilities because reasons? Well, if you count ear scritches, maybe? Instant romance with all the equestrian heros? Probably not, gee...

Then what's the point!?

... Uh... yep, that's the question, isn't it?

This is my take on a cheeky human in equestria self insert a human in equestria doing all the human in equestria things there are for a human in equestria to do. There is language barrier to spice it up a little bit, so it will focus on cultural differences, how to even communicate with the locals and coping with all the weird things this world can casually throw at a regular, out of the mill, human.

May contain subtle traces and hints of RGRE.

For those who know of Cheery Cheesy Cheeky Romance Hoers Words, this is the original setting and story I had planned but never published.

In Manehattan there is a strange ape-like creature that is being held in a lab. Its injuries bear the distinctive marks of illegal sport hunting by exotic game poachers.

What's strange is that there's an entire section in books on natural life about this creature designating its kind maned apes. What's even stranger is that there are accounts throughout Equestria's history about maned apes turning up.

The maned ape, given the moniker Big Red by the scientists holding it, is given over to the crown and transferred to Ponyville for safe keeping. The Mane 6 comb through Equestria's historical texts and oral account to try and find where the maned apes come from.

This is an HiE story that starts in Season 1 shortly after Apple Buck Season.

EDIT: 6-8-2022 Featured! Woo-hoo!
18-202023 Featured! Woo-hoo!

One million years ago, in the year 2017 A.D., humanity discovered two new types of radiation that were being emitted from an unknown region up in space. Using the Hubble space telescope, scientists were able to discover that the radiation was being emitted from an asteroid, which was on a direct collision path with Earth. 

These two newly discovered radiation types were dubbed Keifer's radiation (later nicknamed harmonic radiation) and Chaotic radiation. Keifer's radiation was found to be completely harmless to humans and animals, although it was later discovered that Keifer's radiation tended to be attracted to certain animals. Chaotic radiation, on the other hand, was found to be extremely harmful to humans in large amounts, causing fatal mutations to humans. 

The discovered asteroid was found to be over twice as big as the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. In the year 2018, scientists predicted that the radiation was expected to reach fatal, critical levels by the year 2027. The asteroid itself was estimated to only crash into Earth one thousand years later, long after the rest of humanity would be wiped out by the lethal Chaotic radiation.

As a result of this, world leaders got together and began construction of Utopia, a large underground bunker, capable of housing four hundred thousand people, two thousand from each country. The chosen few were gathered together within Utopia and would be the last of humanity.

However, the radiation was estimated to have a half life of at least 1,000,000 years. This led world governments to invest heavily in suspended animation and cryogenic technology. And finally, in the year 2024, the first cryogenic pod was invented, capable of freezing someone for an infinite amount of time, without the need for sustenance, as long as there was a power supply.

Exactly one million years later, the humans reemerged to begin recolonisation... only to find several sentient species currently inhabiting the planet that they once had absolute, unchallenged authority over. 

One of them was humanity, which was able to recolonise and repopulate the planet from the few members of the human race that managed to survive the Second Flood, long before the Utopians woke up. But there was something wrong, humanity was being used as slaves by the ponies and several other species.

How will humanity answer to the fact that Planet Earth (now renamed Equus) is no longer theirs? Will they make peace with the locals, or will they attempt to wipe them off the face of the planet with their stockpile of nuclear weapons, that were there for the very purpose of reinstating human rule if another creature evolved to their level?

[Heavily inspired by the tv series The 100]

Featured from 19/7/21 to 23/7/21

Featured on 25/7/21

This is the old version of this story. The rebooted version is available here:

Beyond Earth Phoenix Rising

"And we are absolutely certain that's a settlement? That Rhysling already has Indigenous populations?"

"Yes, Commander. There is no doubt. An engineer can fix the probe, but he would not know how to talk to them."

"Alright. Forget the engineer, then. Get me the linguist."

Coverart by SagebrushPony (not on Fimfiction).

Preread by Sunnypack, Shinzakura, Ghuntz, and Admiral Biscuit.

French language support by Conflicting views and Sparktail. German language support by Purple Smart. Russian language support by Alkarasu.

This story follows show canon until the end of Season 1.

Featured on 30 June -- 4 July 2021.

Occult Readings in his search of a soul swapping demon finds himself in a rather precarious circumstance. Trapped by Diamond Dogs he realized just how useless his defenses against the strange and mystifying were against those of the material realm. After weeks of servitude to the dogs, help finally came in it's most unexpected form. Now he could finally go back on the hunt for the occult.

The Young Six find a crystal lantern that allows them to watch a documentary on the deadliest conflict in human history. See as they watch all the episodes of this series and learn About World War 2.

This is my first story
Inspired by a story by Rated Ponystar.
"Student Six Watch the Fallout Lore Series"
I hope you enjoy it.
I do not have an update schedule.

They know what he is, everyone the world over knows of humankind, they are prepared and expectant, for the worst and the best. Their histories tell a story he doesn’t want to hear, things of his own world, much of his own history as fables, and a human influence on all things from the lowest to the high, but he has no clue what any of this is, what it means.

The expectations of a world, the suspicions of its people, and the fear of change in so many minds.

It’s a world all too ready for him, and one he never wanted to see. The world embraces a reluctant stranger with open arms, though its hold is at times… possessive.

When well-respected naturalist Mane Allgood returns to Ponyville, all she wanted to do was leave her work behind, relax and enjoy some quality time with her foals before starting her new job at Twilight's Academy. Her plans are dashed however, when she hears of a new species of ape found brutalized by poachers. Infuriated by the news, Allgood finds a new purpose in helping this creature get back onto her feet, all the while writing a new paper of course.

This new creature, however, might provide Allgood with something even more substantial than just a new animal to write about and care for.

Thanks to Jinzou and TCC56 for editing this story!