• Published 19th Jul 2021
  • 10,427 Views, 2,834 Comments

Shouldn't have enslaved humanity [OLD VERSION] - NoobMaster69



In 2018, a radioactive asteroid was discovered heading towards Earth. By 2027, the UN had built a bunker to hold 400,000 people and Cryogenics were used to keep humanity frozen for 1,000,000 years. When they awoke, they found the survivors enslaved.

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This is why you always put passwords

After a quite eventful last couple of hours, Felix was now finally able to handle some preparation work for the upcoming election in the Oval Office. At least, he was until one of the agents assigned to tend to Princess Sparkle and her companions arrived.

"Mr. President, sir, Princess Sparkle is requesting you at once, and she’s being quite insistent," he said.

Felix groaned in response.

"Of course she picks the one time today when I time to prepare for the election? Is it at all possible for someone else to handle this?” Felix asked, the irritation in his voice quite clear.

This made the agent slightly nervous, already knowing the acting president wasn’t going to like his response.

"Unlikely,” he replied. “She refused to speak to her attendants beyond asking for you. She just completely ignored them.”

"Fine,” Felix relented. “Tell her I'll be down there in an hour.”.

"Yes sir," the agent said, before making a call to Twilight's escort.


"Is there anything I ought to know about before I speak with Miss Sparkle?” Felix asked one of the peacekeepers stationed outside the chamber that contained the purple alicorn.

"Her friends were separated from her about an hour ago," the man replied. “I didn’t catch all of it, myself, but they were being pretty aggressive as they were escorted back to their individual rooms.”

"Let’s hope that perhaps she’s more willing to cooperate then, certainly would make my life a bit easier," Felix remarked, before making his way towards Twilight's room.

He opened the door to Twilight's room and found her just staring out the 'window'. It was now set to display a bustling pre-flood city, namely New York, and the distant sound of car horns and traffic permeated the room. It was an unexpected dose of nostalgia for the acting president.

"Is it true?" Twilight asked without turning towards him.

"I’m sorry…?" Felix asked.

"You know what I'm talking about!" Twilight yelled, turning towards Felix.

"Are you referring to the news?” Felix tiredly asked, the hope he had before entering the room dashed.

“Your TV can only access a pre-set list movie," Felix explained, irritated that Eris’ awakening seemed to be the only thing that was going his way for the past few hours.

"Yeah, well, Rainbow managed to nab this from one of your waiters," Twilight picked up a tablet that was on the windowsill and slid it to Felix's feet, her flat and cold tone indicating her current mood.

"It was actually quite easy to use,” the alicorn explained, the tiniest hint of excitement in her voice as her passion for knowledge peaked through. “All I had to do was touch one of the things that said 'Utopia News Network' and I was able to find out."

"I’m going to have to have a word with my men later about the importance of password protection," Felix muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Look, just because you read something on a tablet doesn’t make it true. Even your people must have misinformation," he said as he reached down to pick up the tablet.

"Maybe so, but this most certainly isn’t one of those times," Twilight said, the coldness in her voice returning.

"I don't know what you saw but -" Felix was cut off by Twilight.

"The 'Surface Massacre',” Twilight began rattling off, the subdued anger in voice rising with each passing headline. “30,000 ponies killed. Enemy leader Steel Horn now in Utopian custody. Ponies being subjected to forced labour to clear rubble over main hangar door. Any of that ring a bell?”

"Miss Sparkle, I know you're angry but - " Felix, irritation now replaced with a mission of easing the hostility that was clearly evident in the alicorn at the present moment. However, he was cut off once again.

"YOU COMMITTED GENOCIDE AGAINST MY PEOPLE!" Twilight screamed. She took a few deep breaths. "I think we’re far beyond angry at this point," Twilight said with venom in her voice.

“They were the ones who attacked first!” Felix raised his own voice in his species’ defense. “You think I wanted this. What were we supposed to do? Your people gave us no choice," Felix told her.

"I Gave you a choice!" Twilight yelled back, "I told you I would talk to them, but instead you kept us in here while you slaughtered innocent ponies!"

"They brought an army to our doorstep,” Felix countered. “How would you have handled that?”

"I would have - " Twilight stopped yelling as she didn't know exactly what to say. But she soon thought up an answer. "It doesn’t matter what I would have done! I could have stopped this! Those ponies have families! So many foals are going to grow up without one or possibly both of their parents!" Twilight shouted as tears began flowing from her eyes.

"We couldn’t risk your escape,” Felix explained. “Who knows what kind of ammunition they could have been willing to use if we did not have you or your friends in our custody.”

"So, you would have rather seen 30,000 ponies massacred than risk my escape?!" Twilight asked, taken aback. The interim president could only sigh in response. He couldn’t deny how bad this made Utopia look in the eyes of the alicorn.

"If I could've done anything else, I would've," Felix told her in an apologetic tone. “But from our intel, you and your friends have a perfect record with the ‘Elements of Harmony.’ We couldn’t risk that powerful of a weapon entering the field and possibly turning the battle against us. If that means 30,000 ponies had to die so that any one of Utopia’s citizens could be spared, then so be it.”

Twilight stared at Felix with hate-filled eyes. "You're a monster…" she said, "I'm not going to work with Keifer and I'm not going to save Eris. None of you deserve to be saved."

As much as her hostility frustrated the acting president, at least her refusal to help was not as dire as it would have been days ago.

"Well, luckily for you, you don't have to,” Felix explained. “As I imagine you already saw, Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow have aligned themselves with Utopia, with one of the conditions being that Tirek would remove enough of the chaotic radiation to stabilize Eris’ body. It might take some time for her to get used to some of the changes though. Chrysalis called her a “draconequus,” though, if that word has any meaning to you.

Twilight's eyes widened. She knew all too well. If Eris was a draconaquiss and her body still possessed chaotic radiation, which is what she recently realized humans called magic, then that meant the humans had someone on their side with the capabilities of Discord.

If Utopia got a hold of chaos magic, they would easily be able to beat Equestrian, maybe even destroy it if they wanted to, and there would be no elements of harmony to stop them.

However, after a moment where she was able to think rationally again, she realized that Discord being reformed was going to come in handy more than ever now. He would have more experience using chaos magic and would easily be able to beat Eris and possibly even destroy Utopia. Equestria was far from doomed. She just needed a way to get this information out to the other princesses.

"So, what do you plan to do with us now?" Twilight asked, knowing her ignorance of the question and changing of the subject will keep suspicion off of her planned intentions.

"Well, it's too much of a risk to have you running around, so you will likely remain here until we deem it safe for you and your companions to leave. Not to worry though, you will be prisoners in name only," Felix replied.

"And if Equestria attacks again…" Twilight confronted, already knowing the answer.

"Well, I don’t know how experienced your nation is with warfare, but the worst-case scenario with POW situations like this…" Felix didn't finish his sentence, but Twilight knew exactly what he meant. One of them would be dead.

She thought of how she could convince them to let her and her friends go. He likely wouldn’t believe her if she told them the truth, that the elements have already been destroyed.

Even if they did have the elements, as Felix made it ever so clear, the First Humans will never let one of their best bargaining chips go just like that. It seemed to her that Utopia genuinely feared Equestria, or more precisely, feared them.

"What about the other ponies you captured?" Twilight asked, "What's gonna happen to them?"

"We're gonna study a few of them and find out how exactly you are able to manipulate harmonic radiation…”

“…magic…” Twilight interrupted.

“Fine,’ Felix was in no mood to correct her at this point. “We're going to study what each of the pony subspecies are capable of with “magic,” and in the meantime we’ll put them to work clearing the debris blocking the main door. Luckily, your ability to levitate objects and your increased strength will help us speed up the process significantly. How ironic.”

"Ponies enslaved humanity because if they didn’t they were going to rise up and kill us, " Twilight countered. “This is completely different.”

"Different how?!" Felix asked, "You claim your kind had no choice because they were acting extremely aggressively and trying to kill you all. So, what do you call an army led by your nation’s leader matching toward our home base? The only ones we're putting to work are our prisoners of war, and even that's just temporary.”

Felix stopped to catch his breath and calm down.

"We tried to come to your kind for help, and yet we were met with hostility at every turn,” he continued. “Considering we have no reason to say otherwise, every second your kind continues to exist is a risk to us… not a big risk, but a risk. I’m sure you know by now we have the means to not only free your slaves, but also enslave your people, which, honestly, would be a fitting punishment.”

A pregnant pause filled the room as the weight of what the acting president said sunk in.

“But we won't, because humanity is better than that,” Felic began to finish. “So, before you call us monsters, remember that we have the means of eliminating your people, and this world, ten times over. If we really wanted to do that, we would have done it by now.”

Not another word was exchanged before Felix left the room, leaving Twilight to turn back towards the window and look upon the human city, pondering the acting president’s words.


“So… let’s begin,” a doctor said to Tirek, who was strapped down into a device that looked a lot like an MRI which was just barely large enough for his head.

Tirek flinched slightly as the ‘bed’ he was on began moving backwards into the machine, until his head was completely inside.

“Please be sure not to move, otherwise we’ll have to do all of this over again,” the voice came from speakers inside the device itself.

“Understood,” Tirek replied.

“Alright, we’ll start with a couple of simple test questions. Firstly, what is your name? Your full name,” the voice said.

“My name is Tirek,” he replied. “Lord Tirek.”

A second of silence passed, likely the voice checking the results on his end.

“Alright, that was the truth,” the voice confirmed. “Now, how old are you?”

“Look, you already had one test question and it was the truth. Clearly the machine is working fine. You called me in here to ask one question specifically, so let’s get to it,” Tirek said, annoyed.

“Mr. Tirek, there is - “ the doctor was cut off.

“It’s Lord Tirek. Lord,” Tirek corrected.

“Yes, of course. Lord Tirek, there is no need to be aggressive,” the doctor tried to calm him down.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing? You’re very subtly trying to pry more information from me without me noticing and making it look like ‘it’s all part of the process,’” Tirek firmly told the doctor.

Unknown to the centaur, two of the doctor’s colleagues, each with $20 bills, were looking on eagerly. The doctor slid his hand horizontally across his neck, pocketing his own $20 bill he had laid next to the microphone.

"Fine, yes, I apologise. I shouldn't have pressed for more than what was necessary. I guess we'll proceed with the question then," the voice said, before clearing his throat. "How were you, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow able to defeat Discord and remove his abilities?"

"My answer remains the same. The three of us were able to catch him off guard and overpower him, using my abilities to steal magic. I then shared said magic with Chrysalis and Cozy Glow," Tirek replied.

The voice was silent for much longer than Tirek would have liked.

‘Don’t tell me that the humans actually have a machine that can detect lies,’ Tirek thought.

"Why are you lying, Mr. Tirek?" The voice asked, catching Tirek off guard.

‘Of course they do,’ Tirek mentally grumbled.

“I- I'm telling the truth!" he yelled, hoping that the doctors would relent and move on.

"A lie of omission is still a lie, Mr. Tirek,” the doctor explained, as he looked at the yellow color of the machine’s readings, indicating there was some truth to what Tirek said, but it wasn’t the full truth.

“This doesn't have to be difficult. Trust goes both ways, and if you want us to make good on our word, you're going to have to tell the truth," the voice instructed.

Seeing no way out of this, Tirek sighed and decided to talk. Clearly he and his comrades will have to be on the top of their game in order to get any kind of upper hand on the humans.

"We used the bell,” Tirek explained. “It belonged to this ancient warlord named Grogar, and he used its power to steal the magic of others. It still had some magic stored in it, so we were able to activate it and absorb its magic with a spell. We then used the same bell to drain Discord of his magic. None of us could handle all of it alone, so we split it amongst the three of us," Tirek replied.

"Bell?" The voice asked, confused.

"I assume your people have it somewhere in this blasted rock," Tirek then started to sound a bit worried.

"We’ll have to check the confiscated objects, but I’m currently unaware of any bell being among them," the voice said, followed by a clicking sound before there was silence.

The voice suddenly came back on, "Is the bell in question teal colored, with some markings on it, one of which looks similar to an eye, and having several cracks on it?"

"Yes! Yes," Tirek answered, sounding relieved. "That's the bell, and I expect to have it returned to us. Now, can I leave?”


Outside, Chrysalis and Cozy Glow sat on the seats provided.

"So? How did it go?" Cozy Glow asked.

The centaur sighed. "I had to tell them about the bell," Tirek replied.

"You what?!" Chrysalis shouted, enraged.

"Turns out the machine actually did know that I was lying," Tirek told her.

"Well isn’t that just wonderful. Now what?” Cozy Glow asked.

"They've already taken the bell from us,” Tirek explained. “They just never knew it was an item of such power until now, and we couldn't ask them to give it back immediately without arousing suspicion.”

"Well they aren’t going to give it back now!” Cozy Glow said.

"We can easily demand to have it back. If they want us to work with them, they probably won't try to steal it from us, lest we leave," Chrysalis pointed out.

The door then opened up, and Aladeen came through, followed by the rest of the world leaders.

"I guess we're about to find out," said Cozy Glow.

"Thank you for telling us the truth, Tirek," PM Jack told them.

"It's not like I had a choice…" Tirek softly mumbled, though he was unheard.

"We apologise for keeping your bell, we had no idea it was so valuable to you, and we do intend to return it to you," PM Jack informed them.

The trio was caught slightly off guard, which seemed to be a common theme with First Humans.

"Excellent!” Tirek said at one of the first pieces of good news he’s received in a while.

"However, we were wondering if we could… well… borrow it?" PM Mateo asked sheepishly.

“Of course, there’s a catch,” Tirek muttered.

"For what purpose? It's not like you can activate it, you have no magic," Chrysalis pointed out.

"We were hoping if… you… could activate it for us,” PM Bjorn explained. “We want to run some tests on it and perhaps find a way to weaponize it. Once we’re done, regardless of the results, the bell can remain with the tree of you," PM Bjorn stated.

"And if we refuse?" Tirek asked.

"At worst, you would be depriving us, and yourselves, of a huge advantage that could turn the tide in a potential war with Equestria," Bjorn replied.

"What do you guys think?" Cozy Glow asked Chrysalis and Tirek.

"If they're just going to borrow it, I don't see why not," Tirek replied.

"If they can really make the bell an even more powerful of a weapon than it is already, well can’t say I’m not intrigued," Chrysalis stated.

"I guess that settles that then,” Felix said. “I will notify Dr. Keifer and we will summon you all for the tests when they are ready.”

“There is one other thing that we would like your help with,” Bjorn added. “We want you to assist Eris in mastering her new abilities."

Training a being to master chaos magic was not something the trio expected to hear from the world leader.

"You see,” Bjorn explained. “If Discord is capable of what our intel says he is, then the limitations of what Eris could do to Utopia would be limitless. We will be able to create things we would have taken thousands of years to do otherwise, all we'll need is a design or a blueprint and she can make a perfect match, like a Dyson Sphere.”

“A what?” Cozy Glow asked

A Dyson sphere,” Bjorn replied enthusiastically. “It’s device which will capture all the energy of our parent star, allow our technological advancements to skyrocket and making us a type two civilisatio - "

“Bjorn,” Felix stopped. “I think they get the point.”

It was then Bjorn noticed he had completely lost the trio, who were looking at him as if they were five-year-olds that had just been told to multiply three-digit numbers.

“Besides, we’ve already gone over this, “ Felix continued. “You are not taking advantage of Eris!"

"Of course we’re not,” Bjorn answered, seemingly offended at the notion he would consider doing that. “All of this hinges on her voluntary participation, of course.”

Somehow, Felix didn’t believe that.

"So, what do you three think? Will you train her?" Felix asked.

"Hmm... " Chrysalis pondered, "Give us a moment." The three of them then turned around and began whispering to each other.

"I don’t know how to train someone in chaos magic, but imagine if we can have a draconequus on our side for once," said Cozy Glow.

"Very true, but now that it doesn’t seem like our freedom is on the line anymore, I say we attempt to get something out of the humans," Chrysalis suggested.

“What else is there?” Tirek asked. “They've already promised us pretty much everything we've ever wanted."

The three silently pondered for a moment until an idea struck Cozy Glow.

"I think I have an idea," she said.


"We’ll do it, but not for free,” Cozy Glow said.

“Fair enough, name your price,” Felix said.

"Well, that’s the thing,” Cozy said. “We’re not entirely sure about that yet ourselves. So, what we propose is that each one of us receives two IOUs. One from the Utopian governments, and one from Eris herself."

"So, just to be clear,” Alexei said, taken aback by such a price. “That is six favors owed in total, three from us and three from Eris," Alexi asked.

"Correct," Chrysalis replied.

"Now, look here, we are the most powerful people in the entire world. This isn't some - " Alexi was cut off by Felix.

"The USU is willing to accept your deal, but we will need to ensure Eris is willing to fulfill your requests,” Felix responded. “If she is unwilling to do so, I am willing to let her IOUs be fulfilled by Utopia to keep them at the six in total you desire. In addition, I’d like for us to record this deal with a legally binding contract and negotiate the limitations of your requests. If nothing else, we want to ensure that these IOUs can reasonably be carried out." Felix asked.

"Sounds good to me," Cozy Glow answered.

Felix then offered his hand for a handshake, but all of them just stared at it, unfamiliar with the gesture.

"Oh, right,” Felix realized what was going on. “When humans agree to something, we shake hands. In this case, it’s usually done between the leaders of two parties. So who is that for you three?" Felix asked.

"That would be me," all three of them answered at once. They then began turning towards each other very slowly, almost menacingly.

"Of course..." Felix grumbled.

Author's Note:

This story just hit 100k words! Let's goooooooo!!!!

Anyway, I hope you guys liked this chapter. A lot of you have been wondering what the main 6 were up to, so now you know.

The next chapter is probably going to be putting the spotlight on Equestria and the leaders of Equs. Their reactions to the massacre, what's gonna happen now that steel horn is captured, and what they're going to tell the public.

I've been getting a lot of comments about how updates are taking more than a week now. For those of you who are wondering why chapters are taking longer than a week now, it's because I've gotten an excellent proofreader and proofreading takes a lot of time. Quality over quantity. A lot of parts are rewritten, a lot of things are added, and a lot of things are discarded, so it usually takes a few days.

I hope your liked this chapter, and feel free to comment what you thought about this chapter as well as any ideas for future plot points. I need more comments, lots of comments, because I'm addicted to reading them. Constructive criticism is welcome and feel to critique my work as you see fit.

And very special thank you to FanficReader920 for helping me proofread and improving the story's quality tenfold.