Shouldn't have enslaved humanity [OLD VERSION]

by NoobMaster69

Update (reboot version)

Wassup everybody!

As you all know, I've actually already begun writing the reboot version for this story, which was gonna feature a kinda brainwashed populace dictatorship instead of the current 'good' Utopia we all know and love. I've actually already written the first three and a half chapters, however, I've decided to cancel that particular reboot version which I was writing.

Now y'all are probably gonna be wondering why, and the answer is because, a couple days ago, I actually found another story that was heavily inspired by mine. The story in question is Beyond Earth Phoenix Rising, and if I'm being honest, this story is much, much, much better than anything I had written or could've written.

And so, I decided to reach out to the author and asked him if he was willing to 'take up the mantle' and continue writing that as the reboot version in my stead, and he agreed to it.

Anyway yea, the reason I decided to ask him to do the reboot version instead is simply because he's doing much better than I ever did. Trust me, his story is an absolute banger.

The story in question is obviously not gonna be a copy paste of this story, since it only used this story as inspiration for the scenario and some of the characters. But other than that, it's still a unique take on the whole premise for this story and the storyline is shaping up to be completely different as well.

So anyway, yeah. I'm cancelling the reboot I was writing and decided to give you guys something better.

So without further ado, here's the reboot version:

Beyond Earth Phoenix Rising

Comments

[Blankscape]

I first read this story way back, and thought it was unhinged af, so I didn't take it seriously.

Then lo and behold, the story updates to announce it has been adopted. That's hilarious.

[Pete100]

So that means this story is cancelled?

[The Great Khan]

I haven't read Beyond Earth yet, but I'd like to ask:

Since you see Beyond Earth as a 'better' version of your story, do you think you'd be interested in taking this story in a more "Humanity, FUCK YEAH!" direction? I very much enjoy watching Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy Glow's interactions with humanity, and their usage here is by FAR my favorite portrayal/usage of them I've seen in a fanfic. It'd be a shame to let this story go to waste by just canceling it.

The decision is obviously up to you, but I ask that you please consider that there are people who very much enjoy parts of your story, and how YOU have written events. I'll obviously pick up reading Beyond Earth, but I'd greatly appreciate seeing this story go in a less serious direction with humanity being gigachads and BTFOing slaver ponies, rather than simply being shelved. Thanks!

[dittomute]

See its things like this that piss me off.
somebody decides to do an Evil reboot of a story
but they find another thats heavily inspired by their FIRST one thats "much much better than anything they wrote or could have written"(debatable)
I'm so fucking tired of excuses like that; Like okaaaay. I really don't CARE about them, I'm not here for them.
I'M not here for the BEST OR BETTER STORIES; Personally I'm here for ones that catch my interest.
The inspired version is better than the 'original'; So your just not going to the 'EVIL' reboot version...? How the hell does that logic follow?

[terranallias18]

I've actually already begun writing the reboot version for this story, which was gonna feature a kinda brainwashed populace dictatorship

Not sure if making both sides into slavers was the greatest creative decision here. It means there's nobody for the audience to root for

[AgentKorpsman]

11469977
Ah.

So which faction do you like the most?

[DOOMRIDER]

11470362
That's a really tough question I have a favorite of just about every faction excluding the Tau and tyranids. But I guess if I wanted to pick a top top favorite it's kind of two different groups viving for my number one first place which would be the iron Warriors specifically the 38th company and the Krieger boys happy gas mask and shovel noises!

[AgentKorpsman]

11470815
So your a death korps of Kreig fan.

Well in that case, hello fellow Kreiger fan.

And cm you guess what my profile pic is?

[AgentKorpsman]

11470815
Oh by the way have you seen the siege of vraks videos on YouTube?

[Wild-Ace]

So the story I made my account for cause it was a story that legit peaked my interest is gone and now being replaced with a story like every other?

[nomu s117]

11471414
Fun fact death kriegs men don’t really use shovels for combat as much as the memes tell

[nomu s117]

11469519
I mean utopia was kinda that with the mind erasing and manipulation of its military and staff

[terranallias18]

11477462
I forgot about that, that was really weird because it seemed like something that wasn't addressed too hard

[AgentKorpsman]

11477461
Oh I know they don’t but eh that’s what the fun part about it is.

Plus maybe hey do or at least don’t all the time but it may be possible.

[NoobMaster69]

11478219
Damn... a whole conversation in my comments...

[the informational dude]

11478231
I dunno why, but this story just seems to have a lot of those.

[Popamile]

11471414
Out of curiosity which faction is your favorite?

[AgentKorpsman]

11485846
Imperium of man mostly, but it’s mostly imperial guard aka death korps of Kreig

[nomu s117]

11486052
Mine is the farsight enclaves . The only force of good in a monstrous galaxy. Plus if everything is grimdark then nothing is . There has to be some good to counter the evil otherwise it gets old .

It’s kinda why people like the lantamers they care for people and try their best to save all that they can when others chapters would abandon the people

[AgentKorpsman]

11488433
Hey I do like the farsighted enclave and the lantamers also. That’s the same reason I like the death korps of Kreig, since I see potential in them to adapted /improve tactics.

But yeah I do like the farsight enclave and the lantamers too.

If only they work together they can defeat chaos.

Plus I wish space marine chapters have there own imperial guard regiments, like there foot soldiers of there own legion.

[AustisticVeganPussy]

whenever I read to this story all I hear is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCWmHbpD0fE]Skillet

[PirateLord93]

11489339
Love Skillet

[lpirtle]

Should this be marked as "canceled" since there will be no further updates here?

[Pensive]

10911125
Guess nobody spots the reference...

[josue]

11578995
Because no one has a brain when it comes to tactics even the most basic of humans know if your army is surrounded or getting decimated you run which can happen in two ways a disorganized run off of the battlefield or an organized retreat but either way you're going to be running off of the field and losing troops but it's better than being surrounded and completely wiped off of the map but most of the people here are alpha males who can't understand why running away is better than fighting and dying because you get to come back and fight another day like I said the majority of people who downloaded this are brainless alpha males

[ksen]

I think, as long as YOU were having fun writing this story, you ought to continue to write it despite that there exists a 'better' version of the same thing. Reason being: some of us crave MLP fiction like the hardest of drugs, and don't necessarily care about the exact scientific measurement of 'quality' that may be attributed to it. If you weren't having fun anymore, then that's understandable. I'll definitely check out Beyond Earth and mark this story as 'necro', but I'll keep an eye on it in case you decide to keep going!

[Super Trexation]

From the humans perspective: Dear god. They're savages all of them. They're all goddamn savages!

[Pensive]

11579045
No, because no one likes your disrespectful language plain and simple.

[josue]

11648473
I wasn't speaking to you you be quiet and let grown ups talk

[Pensive]

11648492
Ah yes, only others may speak to you when it benefits you I see. Truly the epitome of a "grown-up", as you put it.

Oh fuck I just realized you're a troll, nobody would actually use the term "alpha male" in a serious debate, argument, or topic. Can't believe I just wasted brainpower on a troll when there are things that actually matter in the world when it could've been put to.

[josue]

11648507
A shame you actually wasted time not on a troll but a person I'm just acknowledging that people are idiots which is why I consider idiots dumb males or alpha males alpha Mails are usually the ones that think they can fight all the time they don't care what others think that usually gets them killed don't feel too bad about wasting your time you'll know in the future

[Pensive]

11648565
On the off chance that you're serious... You should actually seek out therapy. And a grammar lesson. Otherwise, I have nothing else to say to you.

[Purpleanon]

Out of curiosity, if the humans took longer and stayed hidden, starting to build up bases and even send in drones disguised as ponies, and one of them. Being controlled by a human, started a relationship with twilight sparkle, how would she react upon finding the truth.

[Slut burner3000 returns]

Despite the logical errors in the story, I was having fun, now I find out that it has been discontinued. How disappointing of the author.

[Pensive]

Jeez, it's really been over a year since the last chapter. Man, I miss this story, and its comment sections filled with passionate discourse.

[NoobMaster69]

11772894
L+ratio+u fell off+no u