i don't want to be here.
i don't want to be here.
i don't want to be here.
oh gosh.
she's here.
i need to
run
now
stay back
stay away
stay there.
please.
don't move.
don't...
...move.
...
...
Okay.
Okay, I'm... disoriented. I just woke up and, well...
You know how I said I didn't have nightmares anymore?
Yeah, uh... that changed. Real fast.
Someone must've put me back in bed. The four-poster one in my room. It does feel pretty nice, despite the torn blankets and deformed pillows.
Actually, those are probably from me thrashing around just now.
Redheart's here.
Gosh.
I'm glad she isn't moving.
She was looking at my drawing when I woke up. I think she was the one that brought me here.
How long has she been...?
How long have I been asleep?
...
A few hours, huh? And she hasn't left my side.
I...
...
Heh. I guess this is it, then.
No. NO! You'll have to try harder than--
--the--
...
The door is closed. This... I'm...
Too tiny to reach the handle. Too helpless.
A sitting duck.
Redheart's coming.
"Please, don't..."
I'm so weak.
...
She says 'it'll be okay'.
What a joke.
I can't even muster up a reply.
What's the point?
What's the point of anything?
She's got me in a hold.
So strong I'll never escape.
Her arms around me, pulling
constricting
asphyxiating
It'll happen soon.
She'll get tired of all the foreplay.
Please help. I'm scared.
...
squeezing
beating
breathing
...gross. So yucky. I don't want it.
You! You need to help me! I'm so, so
scattered
I need you to
talk
to
me.
I want--need--to hear your voice.
Please, please, just one word.
One little word and this will be so much easier.
I know you've been silent throughout this whole thing, but please. I really need this.
You can't just sit there looking at me. You can't. You're better than that. I know you are. I know because...
...please.
please
please...
her scent invades my nostrils. It's harsh, cloying, repulsive. It's everywhere. And still the pulling, yanking, pounding...
PLEASE!
TALK TO ME!
...
...
...
...
...
...please
...
..
.
You used to talk to me.
That's how I know. We had the grandest times together, you and me.
We'd travel to the park together and play games there. You always loved 'tag', even though it was only the two of us. We ran races, too, and you always won those.
I remember... your voice.
Your laugh. Oh, how I loved your laugh. I'd tell the stupidest jokes and you just couldn't control yourself.
You told the coolest stories, too. I recall being captivated while you spun a tale of one-eyed alien space pirates. You're so much more creative than me. Back then, you never let me forget it, either!
I looked up to you, y'know.
Such great times we had together. Don't you remember?
...
Of course. How could you forget?
But it changed when I...
... I...
I screwed up. Really bad. I hurt you.
Really bad.
I'm sorry.
I'm so
so
sorry.
For everything I did.
For the things I said.
Listen,
I'm just an average guy now, see? Nothing interesting whatsoever about me. It's pathetic, really.
I'm determined to fix it. To make up for what I did.
I'm trying
so
hard.
And I'm still scared. I need you to speak.
So please, in the name of all the years we spent together,
forgive me.
...
Please forgive me.
...
Please forgive me.
...
...
You don't need to forgive me
...
You can be as angry as you want! At this point, I'll take anything.
...
They don't have to be words.
...
...
...
Yell at me. Do it. Express your hatred.
...
...
...
WHY! WHY WON'T YOU DO ANYTHING?!
...
.
.
.
............... please............................
...
Fine.
After long enough, my screaming dies down and I feel a warm blanket settle over my body.
It's nice. It's heavy, but just the right amount to feel snug without being oppressive.
It's the kind of blanket that's fuzzy, so I rub my face into it, drying my tears.
It's the kind of blanket that smells good, like freshly-picked strawberries.
It's the kind of blanket that doesn't judge me for outbursts. The kind that's there to pick up my pieces. The kind that's been around me the whole time since I woke up here and still hasn't made any advances.
...
It's the kind of blanket that deserves an apology.
"I'm sorry, Redheart."
...
Heh. She asked 'what for'.
"For being so uncooperative. For being ungrateful for all you've done for me. For..."
...
...
"...for thinking you wanted to use me. You're not that kind of pony. I'm sorry for thinking you were."
...
I like Redheart.
I Trust her.
This feels... right.
...
She forgave me. Told me to call her 'Reddie,' or 'Mom,' whichever felt better.
I think I will.
...
...
I think I'm going to stop bothering with you.
Clearly, There's no repairing the damage. I don't know why I bothered trying.
You probably listen solely because you have to, huh?
Fine. I'll shut up. You won't even have to hear from me again. How does that sound?
Goodbye.
......
......
.....
...
...
..
.
.
.
That was pretty chilling to read. Well done!
Hopefully Heath is at least approaching the road to recovery now. Since he's learned there's at least one mare that he can trust.
This is exactly what I was hoping for. Thank you. Can't wait to see what happens next. Keep up the great work!
Ouch looks like he was having a massive panic attack, things are worst then I thought. From the looks of it it certainly seems that he is racked with guilt from a mistake he made with another girl/woman that he was close with made a move, lost control, went further then he had planned and ruined a friendship he had, and later on was hyper alert about his every becoming very insecure and over reacted with them, later on shifting toward mistrust toward woman; I could certainly athetize with that. This certainly put things more into perspective at least. So he is probably very guarded with people, and very lonely, and probably doesn't know how to reach out to people, lets hope Red will help him with that. This is shaping up to be more interesting of a story then I expected.
Interesting chapter, keep it up.
huh, that's definitely not ominous and/or pointing towards severely severe underlying issues.
Mystery narration direction
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There is no woman/girl involved in this chapter. Heath is speaking directly to the readers when he says "you". He has been describing events to the readers as they happen this whole story. Yes, that is very weird and has many strange connotations. That's why this story is tagged as a mystery.
You're right about him being guarded and lonely, though.
I’m just going to say it… you wrote this panic attack well…
11803329
please tell him from me that I'll be there no matter what even if I can't talk to him myself somehow I hope he hears me
Woah.
11803329
So, he was talking to us. How interesting! I personally find weakness appalling, especially in adults, but what is a stallion without personal growth? Simply put, all I can say is to first strengthen your heart. If all it takes is an awkward 14-year-old to break you down and turn your goals into dust, making you more of a submissive plaything than the stallion I know, then strengthen your will. Adversity will happen, but it's up to you to fight through it. After you patch that up enough, strengthen your knowledge. Ignorance is not an excuse. If you think the world is unfair or you're in an unfair situation, learn more, gain more knowledge, and turn that unfairness into an advantage. And then, after that, temper your body. Fragile as it might be, it is not glass. And even if it were, remember, glass can be reforged. No matter how many times you break it, build it up so you can walk, then run, and then finally fly. And you might reach that sky you so desperately look up at.
But if you're looking for more practical advice, if you're ever attacked, aim for a pony's weak spots. For earth ponies, it's the neck. If you're not afraid to play dirty, aim for the lower extremities or the back of the knees. For unicorns, aim for the horn, and for pegasi, aim for the base of the wings. Well, with all that helpful advice given, good luck, and I hope you bring us more entertainment.
P.S oh don't forget about the eyes. No one ever sees that coming.
"I'll find my way back or die trying" I WILL HOLD YOU TO THAT. Grown human male superiority!
Just would like to say I really enjoy this story and cant wait for more updates!
I'm half expecting that "Us" isn't actually "Us" and instead someone/pony else. Or maybe we were his imaginary friend before.
In any case this poor guy needs a lot of healing, understanding and time. He needs some kind of self-empowerment tho it's not likely to be physical or magical judging by what Whooves said.