Shouldn't have enslaved humanity [OLD VERSION]

by NoobMaster69


Discord fucks up big

"You're right. If these… humans," Chrysalis practically spat out the word with disgust, "Really do have such powerful weapons, we should take them over instead."

"What? Why? I mean, I get that they have powerful magic and all, but at the end of the day, they're just humans after all. They might be powerful, but they're still kinda worthless," Cozy Glow said, "Especially if we're going to be in charge of a kingdom full of them.

"Because once we control the humans of Utopia, we will have the power to take over all of Equestria by force instead. Our plan will be fool proof," Chrysalis began to take on a dreamy tone, "Imagine having weapons that can destroy your enemies just by being pointed at them. That is how you said those weapons work, correct?"

"Well, we only saw their 'syringe shooters' in action, but when their leader put it to my forehead, he said he could use it to… kill me," Tirek explained, "The way I understand it, if you don't like someone, you point at them, and they won't live anymore."

"But I am still skeptical about this… draconequus project you speak of. I highly doubt that a bunch of humans would be able to create something as powerful as a draconequus, even if they are an ancient, million year old species. Speaking of which, do you really believe them?" Chrysalis asked.

"I think there's some truth to their words," Tirek replied.

"Yeah, I mean, you should've seen them. Utopia was like something right out of a science fiction novel!" Cozy Glow added. "I know they're just humans, and I know that we're about to invade them, but still… respect where it's due."

"So, I need to ask the both of you once more. Are you really, completely certain, that with these humans under our control, that we will be able to take over all of Equestria?" Chrysalis asked, wanting confirmation.

"Heh, all of Equestria?" Tirek chuckled, "With them under our control, we'll be able to take over all of Equs. Especially with having a reality warping draconequus as an attack dog to call upon whenever we want. We'll be unstoppable, because they'll be unstoppable."

"Wouldn't you just steal Eris's magic?" Cozy Glow asked.

"Why should I? If I stole her magic, neither one of us would be able to warp reality. If I have her under my control though…" Tirek noticed that both of them looked like they were getting aggravated. "I'm sorry, I mean that if we have her under our control, we'll basically be able to do whatever we want," he corrected himself, making them begin to slowly form malicious grins.

“Wait, how exactly are we going to take over Utopia anyway?” Chrysalis asked. “I mean, I have no doubt we could easily accomplish taking over a bunch of humans, but we do still need a plan. And I don’t think that old goat is going to be too agreeable with us breaking away from him,” Chrysalis reminded, “Grogar is definitely going to be our biggest problem for the time being.”

“Well, I’m glad you asked. Grogar’s long absence has give me time to prepare the next part of our plan,” Tirek replied. He then blew out a torch, followed by sliding out a piece of the stone wall; a secret compartment. He then brought out an old, worn out looking iron bell. “Grogar’s bell,” he said as he levitated it in front of all of them. “This artefact can steal any creature’s magic. It holds that magic until it is released by this spell,” he showed them a page of the book he was holding, which showed the directions to how to perform the spell. “Which means all the power inside is ours for the taking,” Tirek said with satisfaction in his voice. He then began kissing the bell, before Cozy Glow snatched it up from him.

“You’re drooling on the bell,” she said, annoyed.

Chrysalis then snatched the bell from Cozy Glow as she tried to hold onto it. "Let's perform the spell before Grogar gets back," Chrysalis said, "I don't think he would be so agreeable with us doing this."

"Take my hands," Tirek said, but they didn't, giving him a 'wtf?' look. "So we can all be part of the spell," he added after a few moments. "Unless you'd prefer I take all the magic myself?" He asked with a grin.

"Our path stands, what we do we do together. We force these humans to serve us, then we can use their weapons… and their draconequus. Once we have control of them, we can use them to claim this land and take over whatever kingdoms we want. Then we can all rule our kingdoms, alone," Chrysalis said, putting emphasis on the word 'alone'.

Tirek then started the spell. The bell floated up, followed by making an echoing ring. The bell then blasted them with a ray of orange and black energy, making them a lot stronger than before. They then laughed a magical laughter, fully confident that the entire world was soon about to be theirs.


"I have returned," Grogar announced. "Unfortunately for you, our little get together has to come to an end. I'm breaking up with you," he chuckled. "The only reason I decided upon uniting with the three of you was to actually help Twilight Sparkle in getting a confidence boost by beating the three of you. However, things have changed. The biggest threat that Equestria has ever known has returned once again, and I definitely don't need the three of you on the loose while they're around. I love chaos, but letting you three run around at a time like this isn't chaos, it's stupidity. So, unfortunately, I'm gonna be sending the three of you to Tartarus," he explained, still not noticing that the three of them were absent. "It's not you, it's me. We're gonna have to… break… up..?" He noticed that the three of them weren't there… at least, that's what he thought.

All of them were confused at Grogar’s words. They knew that he now planned on betraying them, but they didn’t exactly know why. Though, considering that these strange humans had emerged recently, they did have an idea as to who this ‘biggest threat ever’ was. What they didn’t understand was why Grogar wanted to betray them in the first place; everything was going according to their plan, so betraying them would only serve to work against him. It would make him three very powerful enemies, and make it even harder for him to conquer Equestria. Another thing they didn’t understand was why he would want to betray them now; the return of the biggest threat to Equestria ever would be a perfect opportunity for them to take over while the princesses and the elements were preoccupied. But in the end, they didn’t care much that Grogar planned on betraying them, because they were going to betray him first anyway.

As Grogar looked around, two glowing green eyes appeared on the ceiling ahead of him. “Oh, way ahead of you, Grogar,” It was the voice of Chrysalis. She then spat out a sticky substance that was aimed at his two front legs, glueing them to the floor and rendering them immobile. Then, there was a short rumbling, followed by the doorway to his right bursting open, revealing a much larger and much more powerful Lord Tirek. A bright light then began glowing from the doorway to his left, which was followed by the entrance of Cozy Glow, who was now a mini Alicorn with a charged horn. Cozy Glow then shot an energy blast at grogar, which was poorly aimed, allowing him to easily dodge it. Cozy Glow then floated the bell towards him, with a dark pink aura surrounding it.

“The bell? You had it all this time? Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, now growing worried.

“We’re villains, duh,” Cozy Glow said as if it was obvious. The three of them then simultaneously shot a spell at the bell, causing it to activate with an echoing ring. It then began absorbing ‘Grogar’s’ magic with the same yellow and black aura, and as Grogar’s magic was torn from him, he slowly began shifting into something very… unexpected. With all his magic gone, he shapeshifted back into Discord, and fell to the ground with a thud.

“That was unexpected,” Tirek stated, his voice full of confusion.

Discord gave an embarrassed wave, then got up, followed by snapping his fingers… which did nothing. He tried twice more, but to no avail. The trio then began approaching him slowly, causing him to quickly scurry out of the cave.

"Wait… Discord was Grogar? Like the whole time?" Cozy Glow asked, her mind still wracked with confusion. "Should we follow him?" She asked.

"Without magic he's no threat," Chrysalis replied dismissively. "Besides, we have plans…"


"So lemme get this straight," Ember said angrily, "The First Humans have returned, but now not only do we have to deal with them, but the combined forces of Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, and Tirek?"

"Yes?" Discord replied sheepishly.

"And not only that, but we no longer have the means to teleport all of our forces to the First Humans' lair and launch our surprise attack!" King Steel Horn said angrily, "And even if we came by hoof, do you have any idea how long it would take to move an army here, along with the necessary weapons and supplies to help maintain said army?!"

"Remind me again, Discord, how exactly would uniting those three have actually helped Twilight?" Celestia asked, irritated.

"Well, it appears I may have made a lapse in judgement," Discord replied.

"You could've given her reassuring words like everypony else, but no, you decided to unite those three for whatever reason!" Said Celestia angrily.

"You are an idiot!" King Steel Horn shouted at Discord angrily. "We are having a global crisis! These First Humans could very well spell the end for every single creature in the world and you know that! Yet, you still somehow manage to mess up! How is it even possible for somecreature to be this stupid?! Congratulations draconequus, you might have single handedly ended the world!" King Steel Horn said.

"Discord! What on Equs was going through your mind when you did that?!" Cadence asked, surprised at his stupidity.

"I had all of this planned before the reemergence of the First Humans," he replied, though his voice lacked its regular confidence, "I couldn't have known this was going to happen."

"How did you even manage to come up with such a stupid way to 'help' Twilight in the first place?!" Ember asked, "It honestly baffles me how somecreature would even be capable of such a high level of stupidity! I didn't even think such idiocy was possible before you did that!"

"Well, note that we can't get our soldiers here, what do you propose we do?" Ember asked.

"Well, at this point, there's only one of two ways this can go," King Steel Horn spoke up, "Either Equestria launches the preemptive strike by themselves, or we lose the element of surprise. It'll take at least a few days for our forces to arrive, which will allow the First Humans to anticipate and prepare for our attack, leading to a long, drawn out conflict. If the Equestrian military chooses to strike now, we could eliminate the First Humans quickly and efficiently, with very little resistance and without the need for a full on war."

Celestia scoffed. "You can't honestly tell me you're really expecting me to risk my ponies' lives," Celestia said.

"That's what I AM expecting," Steel Horn replied.

"So, you're saying that you want me to risk the lives of - " Celestia was cut off.

"King Steel is right," Luna agreed, unexpectedly.

"What?" Celestia turned towards her sister in disbelief.

"King Steel Horn is right," Luna repeated.

"W- what? You can't tell me you're siding with him? These are your subjects too!" Celestia reminded.

"I know, and that's the reason I agree with him. We must protect our subjects," said Luna.

"I- I'm confused Luna," Celestia said, "I can't believe you! You just said you wanted to risk our subjects' lives, and now you're saying you're trying to protect them?"

"If we don't attack them now, and with the element of surprise, the First Humans will be fully prepared for our attack. Rather than a quick execution, things will escalate into a war, a war that will see many, many more of not just ponies killed, but everycreature else as well. Being so close to Equestria however, would mean that the ponies would be right in the middle of the war. The ponies will suffer the most if we don't destroy this threat with haste," Luna explained.

"But still, the army will be full of Equestrian soldiers. We'll be risking so many lives!" Celestia said.

"If we attack now, we'll be risking many lives. But if we don't, we'll be dooming many more," Luna replied.

"Your sister is right, Celestia," Cadence said, "If these humans are as bad as you say they are, their only purpose right now would be to kill… or rather, drain as many of us as possible to extend their lives. If we let them be, they will bulldoze through Equestria, destroying everything in their wake and becoming stronger with each advance by indoctrinating more humans into their armies. Equestria will be destroyed, and then the empire, and then Yakyakistan, then Griffonstone and so on."

"I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here," King Steel Horn spoke up suddenly.

"I'm sorry, King Steel, but now isn't exactly the best time to - " Steel Horn cut Celestia off as he continued his explanation.

"It came to me when I tried to classify the First Humans, and I realized that they're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but the First Humans do not. They move to an area and they multiply and multiply until every single living creature that isn't a human is consumed, and the only way they can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is?" He paused, and when he received no answer, he continued. "A virus. The First Humans are a disease, a cancer of this planet. They're a plague and we are the cure," he paused for a moment, thinking about what to say next. "If antibodies are introduced during the early stages of infection, the antibodies overwhelm the virus, eliminating it quickly. If the antibodies are introduced after the virus is left to fester, it becomes stronger; strong enough to then overwhelm the antibodies. At that point, the virus ravages the host, now becoming completely unstoppable as it multiplies and mutates as it spreads. Do you know what happens next?" He asked rhetorically and paused for dramatic effect. "The virus moves through the body, killing everything until only the virus is left. It kills the host," he said, with everybody present understanding the imagery he was using. "I just hope you understand what I'm saying, Celestia, and choose the former option rather than the latter," he said, ending off his speech.


"WHAT? How in the nine circles of hell did one little pony escape the most highly advanced drones humanity has to offer? And not to mention the most highly skilled drone pilots in the world!" Felix shouted at General Holden. He was now furious.

General Holden audibly gulped. "She… gave us the slip," he said nervously. "And destroyed one of our drones and damaged another," he admitted. Hiding the truth would do more harm than good, especially when the president would find out rather easily.

"Heh… haha… hahahahhahaahah!" He burst out in fake laughter. "You mean to tell me she escaped because your men couldn't do the simple job of using some of the most advanced pieces of technology known to man to track a horse? A horse, that I remind you, doesn't even know what a drone is!" He said angrily, "And how the FUCK did it manage to destroy one of our drones in the first place?!"

"It ambushed the drone sir. It used a piece of wood and rammed it into one of the drone's propellers, causing it to explode," General Holden replied.

"Congress is going to be choosing a president tomorrow! Your shortcomings are going to be attributed to me, and they're definitely not going to overlook this! How am I supposed to win over their support when I have to tell them about this?!" Felix yelled. "General Holden, I'M GOING TO… I'M GOING TO!" Felix took a few deep breaths to calm down. "I want whoever was piloting the drone that got ambushed fired. Transfer him to construction," he said, now in a much calmer and more professional tone. "Why didn't you just perform an aerial reconnaissance to find the pony?" Felix asked.

"The forest canopy was quite thick. It would be extremely difficult to spot her among the trees if we were to do aerial reconnaissance. And we couldn't use thermal imaging since thermal imaging can't see through forest canopies. Well, it can, but it's very hard to pick out a distinct heat signature, so it could have easily been missed. And the in-built AI's are programmed to detect the shapes of human heat signatures, not horses. So, we had to fly extremely close to the ground, below the forest canopy," Holden explained.

Felix sighed in frustration. "Well, get it fixed as soon as you can. Tell our programmers to enable it to detect pony signatures as soon as possible," Felix ordered. "Now, one other thing. The one that escaped was a kind of… military scout, yes?" Felix asked.

"Yes sir, they were scouts for their primitive military," General Holden replied.

"So, given their hostility towards us in both of our encounters with them, we can only assume that they sent these scouts for a reason. Can you tell me what that reason is, general?" Felix asked.

"Well, scouts are usually sent to locate and observe a target," Holden replied, too worried to give the full answer.

"Let me help you finish that, general. Scouts are usually sent to locate and observe a target of attack," he corrected, "So, as the USU's highest military authority… well, except for me… what are you going to do about it?"

"All Utopian nations are currently working together. We've begun readying the drones, along with transporting whatever jets aren't in the main hangar outside. The surrounding area is being cleared of trees as we speak, to ensure no obstructions are within our makeshift runway," Holden then took a look at his tablet. "Four thousand troops from all of our nation's have already been posted around the area. We currently have eight tanks on the ground, and two more waiting to be deployed. Scientists are working round the clock and experimenting on the pony soldier we've captured. All of the information that we've gained from him has been recorded down, and there's some pretty crazy stuff there… such as their leaders apparently being demigods of some kind and being capable of moving the sun and moon."

"Good… good. We're well defended then, I assume?" Felix asked. "How many drones do we have ready?"

"Over a hundred thousand medium helicopter type drones, along with several dozen large jet type ones. Most of our larger drones are within the main hangar though, so we only have several dozen that can be deployed," Holden explained.

"Hmm… excellent work, despite your previous shortcomings that got us into this mess in the first place," Felix complimented.

“I apologise, sir. None of us could have foreseen the creature literally teleporting out of the chariot. But sir, you can rest assured that if they do indeed attack us, they will be but lambs to the slaughter,” the general said confidently. “Unless of course, you would like us to try to scare them off rather than fight them?” Holden asked.

“No. We’ve already given them two chances, and with both chances they were given, they showed nothing but hostility. Even if they had no idea what a drone was, they still threatened to attack it, completely unprovoked, when we just asked them to leave… rather nicely, I might add. These creatures have shown that they are extremely violent and aggressive in nature, and the only way we can coexist with them is if they know exactly who’s boss. And not to mention the fact that they apparently use all other humans as slaves as far as we’ve seen. If they don’t want to negotiate with us, and choose to constantly attack us, we must control them through fear. We must show them that their actions have consequences, that they can’t just attack us and expect us to just sit there and take it. And, of course, if they don’t wish to put an end to their enslavement of our species, we’ll just have to force them to do so,” Felix replied. “That right there was a part of the speech I was gonna give to congress, whaddya think?” Felix asked.

“Well, it is something sir. It’s pretty great,” Holden replied.

“I know. It was made by me after all,” Felix replied.

“Will that be all sir?” Holden asked.

“Yes, yes. I would love for you to stay and chat, but I’ve gotta check up on Keifer,” said Felix, “Dismissed.”

“Sir!” Holden said with a salute, followed by leaving the oval office.