Occult Readings in his search of a soul swapping demon finds himself in a rather precarious circumstance. Trapped by Diamond Dogs he realized just how useless his defenses against the strange and mystifying were against those of the material realm. After weeks of servitude to the dogs, help finally came in it's most unexpected form. Now he could finally go back on the hunt for the occult.
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I quite like this
That looks interesting. Looking forward to see the next update.
There's some small spelling errors in your description: diamond, not dimond. You're just missing the A.
swapping, not swaping. Just missing an extra P.
The description could also use a couple other fixes that I would be happy to point out for you.
This has been said a couple of times in the last few chapters. But you have given no indication as to whether that's true or not or how he came to that conclusion. That leaves a hole in the plot of the story.
The story itself is great, but it needs work. Mainly spelling and grammar corrections. I would suggest finding an editor. I would also be willing to help correct any errors if you so desire.
11052683
This is about what the character believes happened. Not necessarily what is or isn't true, though I suppose I could have communicated that better
11052724
Thank you for your advice, I'll go through and edit the story removing any spelling and grammar mistakes I see. If you want to help in that matter I'd be more than happy
Can't wait for next chapter ☺️
Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but I hope you do realize that the structuring and make up of the wings of a Pegasus and a Thestral are vastly different. There's no way a Pegasus would be able to teach Gallant how to fly.
11063732
I appreciate the help you're giving me but this issue will be addressed in the plot don't worry. Also, Occult Readings is a unicorn who doesn't know how to fly. He wouldn't have thought about that.
11064007
Alright. I look forward to seeing more of this story. And again, I didn't to be or sound rude with my comment.
11064431
No I actually really appreciate your comments.
Wait how did he burn down a whole city? Wait a moment is that why Pip squeak moved to town because the city burn down
Pretty nice story here and nice we aren’t staying in Ponyville now
remove the e from this word: truly
add an e to this word: surely
cockatrice
There's more, but I'd have to read through the chapter again.
11086309
Thank you very much.
Spotted some mistakes and have suggestions/solutions for fixing them.
greet
tomes (these are books, not King Tut's burial site)
gauge
I believe "digest" would be a better choice of word over "finish".
we're
there's, can't
stallion's
This sentence isn't put together correctly. Why not try this: "Luna was stretching while waiting for him to arrive."
ditch the e
there
Hmmm, that guard is a changeling most likely.
Woo! New chapter.
I don't understand why they always assume that they stole someone's body. You are in a world of myth and magic and you can't believe you just appeared in a fresh body?
Interesting character, someone who is oblivious to everything that isn't occult and cares more that he's not been captured as a sacrifice than the fact that he's been captured at all.
Interesting characters, good world building.
11052875
One word I've noticed consistently misspelled across multiple chapters is 'guard' You spelt it with the u after the a instead of before.
Other than that, I am greatly enjoying the story.
This sounds a bit like the time he destroyed Zecora's hut. I'm sensing a pattern.
11383805
Hope for the best but assume the worst.
11670271
But the problem is they don't hope they just immediately assume