• Published 30th Jan 2012
  • 12,934 Views, 791 Comments

The nature of the beast. - Kintra

The adventures of a sarcastic pessimist who visits a world full of creatures who love and tolerate.

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(83) Our life: Home?

------Eclipse (6:00 AM) ------
My alarm went off. I hated that fucking thing. Every day it would ring at 6: am, and every day I would reach over and mash the damn button. Like I just did.

I rolled over onto my back and sat up the blankets falling from my body as I rubbed my face, trying to get the sleep out of my eyes. I lowered my hands and looked around my room. Same white walls, same dirty clothes strewn about. Same small pile of Pepsi cans by my computer. I looked at the screen and smiled as I saw fluttershy looking at me. It’s not much of a pick me up for sure, but it was enough for me to scoot my way off of the bed and stretch. Benefits to sleeping in clothes? I was already dressed. I walked over and sat on my chair, listening to the fun “pshhh” noise it made as I sat. I rubbed my eyes a bit more and tried squinting as they adjusted to the bright lights from my computer. I read the date. 5/27/2012. Only a few months till my big 20. So excited. Yay.

Eventually my eyes adjusted, so I opened up fire fox. A quick check to EQD, new episode came out. Doesn’t matter. I’ll get it later. Bookmarks, Fimfiction… None of my story’s updated? That’s weird. Normally at least one has an update. I shrugged and leaned back in my chair. Bathroom? Then maybe food…

“Ugh, your life is so BORING. Truly, I have to ask is every day like this for you? You definitely need to lighten up a bit.” I turned and faced the draconequus who was flying near my wall poking at my poster of jack skellington.

“Not my fault, I didn’t ask for you to come here… Besides, who the hell are you anyway?” He laughed as I swiveled in my chair in irritation.

“I’m you dear boy! Or perhaps I’m just who you think you are! Who knows! I’m having too much fun to care! Your confusion it just…MMM! Delicious!” he laughed as he began pacing on the roof. Said roof was growing grass as he walked back and forth across it. There were even a few daisies.

“Well knock it the hell off, I’d rather not have to mow my roof.” Again he laughed but he did stop, he then twisted in midair and landed on my bed with a quick step he was on the floor, his tail dragging on the bed behind him. I just shook my head and stood. Walking to the door I opened it to find it lead outside my house. I stepped out into the sun and sighed. Thank god I live in a rural area. I jumped off my porch and walked out to the center of the yard before standing there. My house was the only thing out here. After the edge of the house was nothing.

“Jesus. I feel like I’m in a Stephan king novel. Where’s the Langoliers when you need them.” I just sat hard on the grass and stared into the black beyond my house. It was obviously day time, but there was no sun.

“This is your MIND! How BORING. Do you have any happy thoughts at ALL?! I mean really now Kyle. I thought you at least would be able to let loose a little!” He laughed as the ground beneath me shifted into fudge. I was strangely calm about this shift into the realm of baked goods.

“If it’s MY mind then what the hell are you doing here?” He just laughed again, smug bastard.

“Well, I don’t know! You brought me here! Something about you being ‘afraid of my powers’ or some jazz like that! I don’t much care for it myself, but I’m willing to be the teacher if you’re spreading chaos!” Right yea… Where the fuck am I… I was… Let’s see…

“Wait a second, you’re a fucking cartoon!” I turned and stood to face discord. He just pouted at me.

“Oh my dear boy you’ve blinded yourself more than I thought! You haven’t even accepted that you aren’t on earth anymore! No WONDER we are in this boring old house! You really must find a better decorator!” He began walking around me. I followed him step by step.

“Truly, do you even realize how much nicer your life would be, if you just ACCEPTED these things? Some forms of chaos aren’t meant to be understood only accepted!” He laughed again as his body shifted into one of a human. He looked relatively normal. Minus the fumanchu and the tuxedo.

“Ugh. Human fashion is so...Plain!” He shifted it so one half was blue and the other yellow with purple polka dots.

“Much better! Now Kyle, or. Eclipse; Feel free to ask me anything! I will happily answer any questions you have! But only in MY way.” Right so riddles and shit. Fine.

“Who are you?” He laughed. I was getting irritated. He stopped and pulled a throne out of the ground. Then he sat. Placing his open palm on his chin as he thought.

“That’s a difficult question! I suppose I’m everyone! Or everypony! I’m everything, and nothing. I’m order, I am chaos. Next question?” Wow really? Fine fuck that then.

“Fine… Who am I?” He grinned.

“You? You are a pathetic human who can’t accept his happy life as it is. Always thinking something is wrong or unsettling. You can’t be happy because you still refuse to accept that the world you knew is no more.” Seriously…

“Okay… What is chaos?” Stupid question but what the hell.

“What is chaos? OH now there’s a trick question! What could be chaos to one may be normal to another. What we see, what we do, everything is in balance, enough light to create the shade, enough shade to be burned by the light. If ever the balance was to shift in one way or the other, horrible things would happen. I happen to know for a fact that chaos is NOT the worst way to go! Chaos can keep a pony healthy and strong! Those that are weak and unfit may not survive! But those that do will be all the stronger for it!” Right… Not sure if philosophical or crazy…

“Fine… What am I doing here?” He giggled. Giggled.

“Why my dear boy! You are working your way through the five steps! And the first step is acceptance!” right.


“Oh dear me you ARE thick aren’t you? You’re here because you are an idiot. You still believe that your life as it is; is fake! So now you’re here, where I can try to convince you of its reality. Followed by full access to the power you seek so hard to hide.” Hide? I’m not hiding any of my power.

“You’re just being stupid, I’m not hiding anything. I keep trying to access my spark, It’s not working because I’m not as experienced as you” I finished the sentence and discord was staring me in the eyes from a few inches off my own face.

“You are holding back because you fear becoming me. You feel if you accept this power it will drive you mad. You fear you will hurt your friends and you fear yourself. Your doubts and insecurities are murdering you.” He stepped back and his calm composure reappeared. “The spark doesn’t require control, or guidance. You simply ask it. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask it. It’s a part of you, you silly foal.” He wandered to the edge of the fudge field.

“Truly you are… interesting eclipse. You can’t accept that the woman you love is a pony… You can’t accept that you’re no longer on earth. You can’t accept the power that had been given to you. And now you even FEAR your own ability. You fear becoming what I am now.” He sighed and began walking back to me.

“Eclipse… Kyle…. Discord…My real name? You wouldn’t believe me. You already know though. Don’t you?” Uh…. No… Not really.

“Oh… to be you...here. It would be truly an amazing feeling wouldn’t it. Talking to a figment of your own imagination. Or. Perhaps talking to your own soul? Who knows…? I do, but I won’t tell. Where’s the fun in that!” He started laughing again as he sat down. This was getting annoying.

“Okay… Fine. You have all the answers. Why can’t I accept that I’m not on earth hmm?” He smiled at me.

“Because Kyle. You did so little. Now you do so much. The only thing you wanted was a chance to say good bye. You did love your parents. But most of all you miss your music. Music was your life dear boy. Without music you get… Antsy. The music of life itself is quiet to you. So I bring you a gift.” He stood and walked over to me. Grabbing my hand and opening it he placed my watch in my palm. I loved this watch. It was also an MP4 player and it had a digital screen for movies. I had the entire MLP seasons 1 on this watch. As well as over 20 gigs of music. He even gave me the headphones.

“Music is your life eclipse. You won’t get to say good bye. You must accept that you will never see them again. Hardship is part of life. And in your case, the only way to happiness. TRUE happiness, is by accepting that they are gone.” I stared at the watch. It’s stupid to think he’s right. But it is. I knew it was. To think I wouldn’t get to say goodbye. At least to my mom. Does she even know I’m gone? Or did the spark wipe my existence from earth… I think being dead would be easier.

“So… When I wake up, you want me to accept the fact that I’m never going home, never seeing my family, and that music keeps me sane? I’m a little confused on the music part. The rest sorta makes sense.” He smiled as he walked back to his throne.

“Eclipse… There are many things in Equestria which make no sense. For instance, Ull. One of the few knowledge seekers. Befriends you, and trusts you implicitly from the time you meet him. Why?” Hmm...

“I… Don’t know. I never really bothered to ask.” He nodded.

“And Luna, princess of the night. She worries and frets over you like a mother who just lost her child. Why?” Uhhh…

“Well, we had a lot of time to spend together; she said she may have developed maternal instincts.” Again he nodded.

“And why is it you can remember this all now, when just a few minutes ago you believed I was nothing but a cartoon?” I went blank. He was right, just a few moments ago, he was just…A cartoon, a figment of my imagination, now? I know better. He is a god of chaos and he’s invading my mind, how? Why? Fuck if I know!

“So…That’s it then? I just accept that I’m dead to the world I was raised on?” He just nodded.

“It’s not easy eclipse, but all the roads you can take, lead to the same result.” I looked at him as I slipped my watch on, carefully placing the headphones into my jacket pocket. I felt little Luna nuzzle my finger as I did so. Made me smile a bit.

“And that result… What is it?” He laughed.

“I’m sure you will eventually figure that out dear boy. Now get out of here. You have a friend waiting…And eclipse.” I looked at him. I didn’t know what he was going to say, but when he said my name I knew it demanded my attention.

“I just felt I should say… Thank you. For listening. Even if I may not exist. I definitely feel better.” I just nodded as he pantomimed flicking his finger at me.

Something impacted my chest and I shot up breathing rapidly and staring at the strange mask in front of me. It was covered in blue potion.

“Eclipse! Are you alright!?” Zecora was standing next to me.

“You drank the whole thing you idiot!” I looked at her.

“I wasn’t supposed to?” She smiled and hugged me. I hugged her back. And caught myself staring at my wrist. My watch was there. Not the one I purchased from Ponyville. MY watch. I broke the hug and felt in my pocket. Little Luna nuzzled me again and I removed the wrapped headphones from next to her.

“What is that? And where did it come from?” I smiled.

“It’s a gift.” Cheeky god.

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