• Published 30th Jan 2012
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The nature of the beast. - Kintra



The adventures of a sarcastic pessimist who visits a world full of creatures who love and tolerate.

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(19) Life: Career

I ended up wandering around town for a good thirty minutes before I found a small Café which I immediately went inside and sat down.

“Hi, Eclipse, What can I get you?” It was amazing I was already known by name in this town. I looked at the lavender pony staring intently at me.

“It’s almost like you like your job or something, and uh, I think for now just…a slice of apple pie I think.” She laughed.

“I do like my job silly! I get to meet special people all day!” I smiled, if people on earth had her dedication and thought process we would all be set for life.

She left me there and came back shortly with an apple pie, I thanked her gave her a silver bit and chowed down. Funny thing about Equestria, anything you ate gave you exactly what you needed.

I expected after a few months of eating nothing but fruits and desserts I would have some sort of vitamin deficiency. But I didn’t, In fact I was healthier than ever. Magic *Snort*…I’m such a geek.

After finishing I sat there next to the floor and looked out the window, I could see pegasi moving clouds into position for a rainstorm. It was interesting to watch really.
But oh well.

I stood and left the little shop, maybe I should start carrying a fold out chair or something with me. I understand these ponies don’t need them, but dammit. Sitting on the floor was starting to hurt…
Most of the tables had adjustable heights for chairs to be used as well.

*Sigh* I guess to Twilights I go... I so did not want to speak to the angry lizard again…

Where did that come from? I loved spike in the show… Why all the sudden hate? “Wow she was right.”

I stopped my trek to find twilight under a saddle-umbrella while I was getting rained on. When did that start? “Uh…Who was right about what, and when did it start raining?” I just realized. This rain was fucking COLD I was shivering up a storm.

“Princess Luna said when you think too hard about something you zone out what’s going on around you. I admire your focus but maybe you should get inside?” I looked around I was standing just outside the library.

“When did I get here?” I asked no one in particular.

“You’ve been standing here for ten minutes Eclipse. Get in, shoo” She started pushing at the back of my legs with her hooves till I made it inside the library.
Luna was sipping some tea with spike who immediately lowered his head and stared at the floor. It was a hurt stare though, not a hate stare. I walked over to the couch and sat next to the laying Luna, Thankfully she was just big enough for me to sit under her head.

Which she proceeded to rest on mine. “Cold Eclipse?” I laughed.

“I guess I was pretty deep in thought. Sorry.” I heard twilight whisper something at spike who was still trying to look at me.
I knew what was happening. Spike looked at me and opened his mouth; I just raised my hand to silence him.

“It’s cool, I understand and I’m sorry for freaking out yesterday. You were just trying to keep me here and distracted until the party started right?” He confirmed my suspicions when he got up, walked over and hugged my leg.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to be mean. But I thought it would be easier to get you to stay here if we were arguing. It was stupid of me.” I laughed.

“Actually, under most circumstances the easiest way into my heart is a good smartass-moment. Unfortunately you just chose the wrong thing to make fun of. It’s cool lil`man. We all make mistakes.” He took a step back.

“Lil`man?” He just kinda stared at me.

“Yea, it means little man. Its what my older brother used to call me when I was younger.” Those were fun times.

“I like it. Thanks for understanding Eclipse. Twilights right, you are a pretty cool guy. Let me get you a blanket though. You look like your freezing.” I sneezed right then as if to confirm it.

“I’ll go get your new clothes from Rarity. Eclipse there’s a shower down that hallway there, wash up and get warm.” With that twilight disappeared. Wait...

“Shower!? You mean to tell me twilight has a shower but the palace doesn’t?!” Luna laughed at my outburst as I made my way to the restroom. And behold the shower of power. “Sunofa…” Luna laughed again.

“Take your shower Eclipse. Twilight will be back shortly with your clothing.” Hell yea I was gonna shower! With hot freaking water too!

I spent way too long in that shower, a solid hour at least, just soaking in the almost scalding hot water. Twilight had entered the bathroom at some point and hung my clothes on her sink which was directly across from the bath/shower she had. A toilet in the corner opposite the door and a mirror over the sink, it was pretty small. But it worked.

I ended up not even looking at the clothes as I put them on walking out to the couch where Luna was I sat back down. “Nice shower?”

My limbs felt like limp noodles...Noodles...Oh...There’s an idea.
“Luna… Oh yea... If I pass out, just leave me here?” She laughed, and I passed out.

I awoke feeling more refreshed then I had in days. My body was clean my muscles were relaxed from the stupid hot water and there was a pony asleep on my lap.

Wait. What? I looked down to find Apple Bloom sleeping on my legs. I wanted to move now but dammit, she’s too cute to wake up! I looked around to find all of the mane six and Luna were gathered around me. Staring with little smiles on their faces.

“Did I break something in my sleep? What?” It was fluttershy who spoke first. “D`awwww.”
Oh shit…

They immediately began talking about how cute I was holding apple bloom in my sleep, and how one time during my sleep I actually pet her Applejack was blushing during that explanation because she thought I may have hurt her sister, Thankfully she was within reaching distance so I rubbed AJ`s head. She then smiled and laughed. I was still a bit wierded out as too how this pony was so comfortable around me already, especially when we hadn’t even met yet.

Luna chalked it up to my “Animal magnetism” Until I explained why that English phrase would not apply. Then AJ broke in the conversation with a “Maybe she just liked ya is all.” We all agreed on that.

And then I realized my clothes. “Oh no, I am so sorry Rarity, I haven’t even looked at your clothes yet! I got out of the shower and pretty much passed out, I am so sorry!” She laughed.

“Darling, you’ve provided me with inspiration for another fashion line just by holding Apple bloom! Consider it even, just tell me what you think of them when you get a good look which isn’t obscured by a ball of cuddly fur okay?” hah! Cuddly fur!

I wanted to listen to some music, Disturbed, Godsmack, Shit. Id take Putting on the Ritz. But my songs don't exist on this planet... *Sigh* Ill miss you Inside the fire. You was best disturbed!

Shortly after that I began subconsciously stroking Apple Blooms mane, just listening to the girls talk about day to day life, AJ and Rarity talking with Pinkie about proper salesmanship, RD explaining why flying is awesome to fluttershy Luna and twilight talking about me and the stupid shit I’ve done. I ended up smiling. Just look at where I am. Wouldn’t anyone be smiley? Eventually Apple Bloom started to wake up I removed my hand and watched as she stretched, sat on her haunches and looked at me all sleepy eyed.

I lost it. I picked Apple Bloom up right there and hugged her while shouting something along the lines of “Oh my god so much cute how you ponies handle it!” Eventually I calmed down enough to put Apple bloom back down, she was wide awake now and had a huge smile on her face. “Ya really think am cute!?” I smiled and pet her some more.

“Absolutely freaking adorable.” Was my response as she jumped off my lap to her sister’s side. I stood trying to get blood flow back to my legs as I stretched I almost hit the second floor overhang with my fingers. Tiny ponies. So weird. Apple Bloom being the size of a house cat just made it adorable though.

I looked at my clothes and was pleased to find they were more “Functional” then formal. My shirt being a dull almost faded looking black with a single white hollow circle over my Leechwood. I understood the relevance of an eclipse on my chest. The pants were a similar blackish-grey and they had pockets! Yes! I felt the extent of said pockets, they were perfect. Just big enough to be huge without being too much. The fit was perfect as well.

“Damn…. Rarity this is awesome.” I was seriously impressed. It may have been a simple T-shirt but the fit was just baggy enough to be comfortable.

“Where is the jacket dear?” Jacket? I looked at twilight. Who shrugged.

“Did I leave it in the bathroom?” I immediately heard RD pipe up with an “I’ll check!” and she took off, She was back in ten seconds flat. Yup. Still me. She was carrying a black blazer like jacket. I took it from her and looked at the back Emblazoned on the back was each of the girls cutie marks on the outside of an eclipse holding both Princess Luna`s and Celestia`s Cutie marks right in the center. “What’s all the detail for?” She smiled.

“I felt you should always have us close. No matter how far you go.” URGHHH MANLY TEARS THEY STING!

“Heh…Thanks Rarity…I…Really don’t know what to say.” I put on the jacket. I didn’t button it though. I left it loose. It fit perfectly, still amazing.

“An ‘I like your clothes’ Rarity would be nice.” I laughed.

“I really like your clothes Rarity. The fit, the style…I love them. Thank you.” She just smiled. Then pinkie pie started yelling.

“HEY! This calls for a party!”

“Oh man…” And now all the girls are staring at me! Pinkies hair almost instantly deflated.

“You…Don’t like my parties?” OH COME ON!

“Pinkie...” I knelt down and hugged her. “It’s not that I don’t like your parties. It’s just; I’m the kind of guy who’s happier being with a couple of good friends, not a bunch of random strangers. If the party was just us? Then that would be awesome. But I know you want to throw a big party for everyone. I just, feel uncomfortable in those situations, I’m sorry.” Her hair half-reflated. So I kinda made her happy… I guess.

Next was Applejack. “Ya Sugarcube, Eclipse just don’t like big parties! So what we need ta do is get a little party! Just us friends, and maybe a few ponies that Eclipse should meet!” She finished reflating and teleported from my hands.

“Of course! We need to invite big Macintosh and OH! Oh there are a lot of people! I’ll go hand out invitations!” And just like that the crazy pink party pony was gone in the wind.

“Uh… How does she do that?” I was the only one wondering that, everyone else was wondering where they should go, the storm was over and rainbow had already left to deal with the clouds.

“Well I gotta git back ta buckin. See you girls later tonight?”

They all nodded as Aj left she just patted me on the back. “Ya eventually just stop questionin it. Be safe Eclipse.” Apple bloom waved at me on the way out. This was interesting considering the whole walking on four leg bit.

“Okay, I’m sorry girls; I just remembered I have to check on the mayor again. Sorry.” Almost at once every pony in the room (and spike) gasped. “Did something happen to the Mayor!?” Twilight was almost in hysterics.

“What? No, I just need to see if she’s awake, don’t worry so much it’s not good for you.” I finished the sentence as I stepped into the sunlight.

From my horrible time telling skills I judged it to be about three to four o’clock. I began the trek to the mayors house only to be passed by Fluttershy muttering an “Excuse me.” As she passed.
Eventually I made it back to the Mayor’s office…House, thing. And knocked on the door.

“Oh yes, please come in!” Good. I pushed open the door and made my way in to see the Mayor was actually…Happy, bright eyed and bushy-tailed actually applies.

“Oh Eclipse! Did you do all this for me?” She did a quick sweep over of the entire room with her hoof.

“Oh, uh… Yea sorry I can throw some papers around if you don’t want it all organized n stuff.” I pantomimed chucking papers around just for emphasis.

“No my dear boy! This is…Well for lack of a better word fantastic! You also were the one who finished my paperwork?” I just nodded as I sat in front of her desk again.

“You realize I had been working on that stuff for almost four months? How long did it take you?” I shrugged

“Depends, I think the longest paperwork I did was maybe...Ten minutes. The paperwork here in Equestria is a lot less convoluted then where I’m from. So it was all pretty easy to do…” I started sorting the papers on her desk. It was a bad habit.

“My dear boy, I don’t believe we need to find you a job anymore. Consider yourself hired!” I stopped organizing and stared at her.

“I’m sorry. I think I misheard you. I’m hired for what?” at this point I was a little scared, did she want to like, have me replace her?

“I’m appointing you as well, my secretary! It won’t be a lot of work and to be honest as long as you come in once a week and do as you did today, I will pay you a full week’s wages!” Oh... Well alright!

“So wait, you want me to come in once a week, do your job and leave?” Oh... bad way to word it.

“Pretty much yes!” OH MY GOD.

“And what’s the pay?” WHY IS SHE MAKING THIS EASY!

“16 bits an hour is the going rate for someone that can do what you’ve done, so we will say you’ve done 5 days of full seven hour shifts. That comes too...” She picked up a pencil in her mouth and began solving it. It was 560, but I’ll wait.

“Five hundred and sixty bits a week for a few hours of your time!” I wanted to face palm, I wanted to cheer.
I wanted to explain to this pony why I would never accept this deal.

“Alright, I’ll take it.” FUCK.

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