• Published 30th Jan 2012
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The nature of the beast. - Kintra



The adventures of a sarcastic pessimist who visits a world full of creatures who love and tolerate.

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(30) Life: Not a bad itch.

We were standing outside the spa I was clothed but my nails were painted, and the girls were just giggling at me! I was getting upset. That shit hurt. I have no clue what happened!

“You’re an idiot. You put yourself on auto pilot in a Spa.” Light why so mean?

“It’s not my fault! I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind! I would say you should take over But I’m thinking a new rule is ‘Never again without my permission’ Alright?” he nodded

“Yes, I understand you do not like me taking over your body without permission. Understandable. But my question is this. Do you trust me?” I laughed.

“Oh buddy boy, you’re gonna need to work very hard to earn my trust back after what happened earlier. Not to mention you’re generally just annoying when you talk. Are you trying to be a posh asshole or a laid back asshole? Make up your mind!” That’s when I heard one of the most amazing things ever.

“You stop talking to me for a week and I find your crazy ass in Ponyville?” Oh…Hell Nah. I turned slowly. And saw vinyl Scratch between Rarity and Fluttershy. She had on one of her sets of head phones and a Hoof strap mp3 player... I was so happy to see her smart ass I hugged her. She immediately squeaked because I hugged her too hard but then laughed.

“Oh my lucky Luna Vinyl Mo fuggin Scratch! How are you Hun!” I put her down and she shook off; her blue mane trained to always return to that shape was impressive.

“Not bad, just been around the blocks a few times looking for my favorite mutant when I find you here arguing with yourself over getting your nails done! I mean don’t get me wrong, you certainly know how to attract an audience. But is the show really necessary?” She had her smug little smile on through the whole thing. I loved this girl. I looked around to find most ponies in ear shot were currently staring at me with worried looks.

“Oh boy…. This is going to be fun. Sorry folks. Got some bad cider!” and they went about their day. Only three ponies here knew that was a lie. Two had met my lie and the third?

“Eclipse you don’t drink. Something happen? Oh GOD you found a mare friend? Or… Oh you found a colt friend? It’s cool, I don’t judge. I’m sure your parents don’t get it but it’s alright.” I’m not gonna lie... I contemplated a lot of things right there to make her stop talking. Top of the list was “Kiss her” but she might take it wrong. It always worked in the cartoons though.

“You know what vinyl.” I said in my most menacing deadpanned voice possible.

“Uh…What?”

“You’re coming with me.” I picked her up and carried her under one arm while walking back to my house. After she finished laughing, Fluttershy and rarity talked to her on the way back since she was backwards.

It sucked though because I wanted to play with her tail….
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When we got to the hill Rarity and Vinyl were talking costume Ideas. I put vinyl on the grass and had her turn around. “Wow. No no no. You’re screwing with me. No WAY is this your house.” I laughed.

“You should see my room.” The entire tour this poor girl is pretty much speechless. Mostly because she had worked as a local DJ at a nightclub in Canterlot. She got enough money to scrape by. She recently had gotten well. Fired. Because of a rowdy costumer calling her a few names. Good news was; she had enough money to come to Ponyville after she was fired. I had her set up in the room next to the “master” bedroom after she agreed to stay. It was so cool hearing Be and vinyl’s first meeting. They ragged on each other for almost an hour and then started threatening to make out with each other.

Unfortunately for Vinyl, Be meant it. A short explanation and a sad “No threesome?” from thorn, which made me choke on my spit a bit. Vinyl explained that she was in fact, Very straight….Very…Straight…
“Light… Knock it off. I will deck you if you stare at her.” Light backed away slow…Then vinyl broke the silence.
“Okay, who is this light person?” Since we were in the living room I told vinyl to take a seat. Which she did, but she sat on me. I just knew I was gonna need the talk for her too. So I just let Light take my body for a few minutes so they could get acquainted. Light really liked her….a lot.

One punch/kick to my face and an angry vinyl later I was back in control of my body.

“I cannot fucking BELIEVE you said that to her light!” I was rubbing my face in my hands to be honest I wanted to punch light hard enough to cave in his ribcage, But that may or may not be considered suicide.

“It’s not my fault she took it so personally. I only sa.” “No! I’m just… AGH! Fuck. Just, fade for a few hours light. As of this moment you’re seriously ruining my life, Think about what you did and put some human emotion behind it. Until you can feel like a Fucking PERSON. I will NEVER trust you.”

I stood and walked out into the cool air. This whole situation was just…Fucked. I understand that he’s a tree. No emotions, Fine. But he will learn for what it’s worth.

A few moments later and I was sitting on the small path being slowly beaten into the hill, It began a little ways behind twis library and ended on our…Our? My doorstep. Light hadn’t said anything, he had just faded out. I really hoped that Be, or...Any pony could explain to vinyl what Light said wasn’t me. I’m never letting him have control of my body again. That’s for damn sure.
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“UGH… Why does sitting have to be so boring!” I fell back onto the grass with a thud. It was nice. The smell of fresh grass was always welcome, it always reminded me a little of Luna. Oh… god… Luna… I need to apologize to her as well…. Shit.

“Why is it that the moment I seem to have everything good I start trudging up shit I need to do!?”

“It’s who you are.” Vinyl walked up next to me and sat down. She looked at me a moment and then took off her shades. She has gorgeous eyes. I like red.


“You always soldier on. Never think about yourself” *cough* “And you always take care of friends. I know that it wasn’t you who…Yes. I know that wasn’t you.” Wait what?

“Who what? He only said things…” She looked at me.


“You think I would be mad because he said he wanted to ‘pollinate’ me? I was mad because he touched me you idiot.” Every time I look at the wall, he does something stupid.


“And how is it that…You knew it wasn’t me?” I needed to know.

“Because whatever he is... It’s like a child. He never does anything out of malice or spite. It’s more like…Curiosity. Like he doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

She laughed. “One thing it does have in common though is that it’s honest… Only so long as it helps. I know it lied for you eclipse. Rarity explained on the way while you were zoning out. Most likely thinking about my tail right?” I may have blushed. Hard.

“Yea, I figured. She said that Light explained your horrible world and its arranged marriages. I heard what your world was like from you. I know why you don’t really want to go back. And I know you’re still reserved around us because…Well, We are still animals.” I sat up.

“No, vinyl you’re not an animal…You’re just…*Sigh* Not human… I’m sorry I have these reservations about it and I know I could be a lot happier with someone to love and hold.” She laughed.

“Not me I hope? You know I prefer stallions.” I laughed.

“No... I was thinking, maybe twilight…Rarity…Fluttershy… Any of them but pinkie really.” She looked at me.

“No pinkie? But you always said she was gonna be a ton of fun.” I just had a sad smile.

“Yea, she is tons of fun... But fun doesn’t mean love worthy. Not to the extent I want. I want some day to wake up and find myself assaulted by the ones I love, I hate kids but still I want some just so we can enjoy some awkward conversation. I would do the adoption thing, but let’s be honest. If there’s a way I can be ponified I’ll take it in a heartbeat.” She just nodded.

“If I could get a decent break in my music career that didn’t involve me being horrible and predictable. I would take it in a heartbeat.” I laughed. That helped me calm down a bit.

“Didn’t take your ‘cutting edge’ stuff huh?” she laughed.

“Nope… But eclipse. Let’s be honest here. Who could you really see yourself with in twenty years, in marriage, in love, maybe a few foals?” She just let the question hang as I stared into her eyes.

“There is only one pony I could love that much.” I let the silence hang a few moments.

“Big Macintosh.” She rolled over laughing; I just smiled and leaned back on the grass. I didn’t want this to be about me. I quickly grabbed the rolling pony and scooted her under my head using her as a make shift pillow.

“Your evil.” I laughed.

“Well you’re comfortable.”

We laid there and talked for almost a full hour before I felt vinyl start falling asleep. She had walked all the way here from Canterlot. She was exhausted. I got up and carried her into the house. After a few minutes of adjusting her and covering her up I got up and left the room, only to be assaulted be a small Charcoal black pony that jumped into my arms.
“And that, Eclipse. Is how you welcome an old friend into a new home?” I smiled.
“Good to see you too brew.”

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