• Published 30th Jan 2012
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The nature of the beast. - Kintra



The adventures of a sarcastic pessimist who visits a world full of creatures who love and tolerate.

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(52) Life: Shopping?

We had sat in bed just over an hour. Nothing really happened aside from a lot of touching. And I was happy about that. Good news is, foreplay definitely does NOT count as sex. Though in our case I think it may have been just as fun for her. I didn’t care to focus on me too much. The best part about these ponies, they can kiss. Good. Just saying. After a while we just went back to cuddling and making goo-goo noises at each other than laughing.

“You’re a horrible tease Eclipse.” I laughed and hugged her closer.

“I like to think so too.” She tried to hide her laughing, but it’s difficult when you’re hugging the person.

“So, anything other than making me warm on the list?” I smiled.

“I think, I gotta run to town get some sort of clock for every room in the house. I’m sick of guessing the time even though I’m usually right.” Hoof up please, thank you.

“Well I suppose that makes sense… can I shower first?” I kissed her just next to her horn.

“Of course you can.” She scooted away and hopped out of bed. It was kind of cute because she wobbled a bit at first.

“Oh gosh… Can’t feel my legs.”

“Am I really that good?” She just snickered.

“You know you had nothing to do with…Most of it.” I shrugged. I can dream right?

After she left I took the opportunity to change the bedding. Ponies tend to take really long showers. Its tons of fun really. At least they don’t have to change clothes… Clothes… Maybe I should see rarity… Maybe later. I was way too busy trying to find out what to make for breakfast. All I’ve ever seen her eat were those flower-whiches. Which I mean, that’s cool, but my house is full of fruits and veggies and cheeses. Not a flower in sight… Groceries, Maybe I should pack the little man a lunch too? Oh man, do they even serve lunch at the school!? Son of a bitch! Ugh… I guess, it’s a little late to worry about things like that now. I walked back out into the living room and laid on the couch. She wasn’t going to be done for a while so what the hell. I closed my eyes. Then I opened them when a very beautiful pony crawled her way onto my chest and laid down.

“You aren’t supposed to join me; we still need to go into town and pick things up, also. You know if they serve lunch at the school?” She just shook her head and leaned forward till her mouth was able to reach my neck. Where she proceeded to kiss.

“Seriously mist… You don’t beat around the bush do you?” she just laughed.

“After this morning? The bush was beaten to death with a pole. I stopped beating around it when the guy next to me said he doesn’t want a relationship for sex.” Oh my GOD I want her. But I don’t….Sonofabitch.

“Well then, I guess we better try and slow down. Maybe throw our pole to some other bunch of bush-beaters. Not to mention, how will the people in town react. I mean, I’m…you know, human.” She laughed again, Have I mentioned how beautiful her voice is?

“If I cared what people in town thought of us eclipse, I wouldn’t have stayed the night anyway. And I certainly wouldn’t have done what we did earlier.” Oh man…FUCK. Seriously. Take my money; just make me hate her a little so she isn’t so damn good!

“I…Wow… Holy shit. I can honestly say I am clueless as to how I became anything to you, you deserve way better. I mean…Wow.” She started rubbing her head on my neck… She took lessons from Dashie, Cuz that fucking spot…Ohh man…

“Well, If you like we can delay a bit. Let word spread around town on its own.” Pleaase stop rubbing my neeckkkk…. Oh god….

“Okay! We gotta go.” I said standing and holding her to my chest. Then I put her down. Teasing is okay…But oh my GOD.

“Awww. I was having fun!” How did she?! Oh man! I love this girl… Seriously.

“Well, we can have fun later, I got stuff to do!” I laughed and started to head out the door, she followed suit. Thankfully I was still clean. It’s amazing how sensitive a unicorn horn is if you have fingers.

“Eclipse? I think I know of a good way to spread the word around town.” Great.

Shortly after her explanation. I picked her up and began carrying her… there is no doubt she is a serious lightweight, what with her being short though…Yea. This girl is amazing.

“Whatcha thinking about.”

“You. And how generally amazing you are. You most likely don’t even realize how everything you do is amazing to me. It blows my mind, just how amazing you are.” She started laughing.

“Well at least you haven’t called me fat. I’m heavy for my size.” Seriously.

“Wait seriously? You’re what ponies consider big? Seriously? Shit. In that case I’m a chubby chaser.” She just shook her head.

“I’m big eclipse, not fat. I’m a few pounds over what I should be nothing immense.” Then why mention it.

“I’ll admit to being a bit confused here. Your one of the smallest ponies I’ve lifted. Only ones lighter then you were pegasi.” She nodded.

“That does make sense. Pegasi are supposed to be light. But for a unicorn...” I laughed.

“Is that why all you ate were gross flower-whiches? Because if your seriously big by any standard, that standard needs to be put to rest. If anything you’re perfect.” She blushed and placed her head on my shoulder while we walked around town. Eventually we found the…Kinda general store, it had a lot of things, some of it seemingly random but they did have clocks, and I managed to get a watch! Yay!

Shortly after that we went to the grocery store. We picked up a lot of food. I grabbed jelly and peanut butter. I don’t even care. We had plenty of foodstuffs for our home now. So we took off, I was still carrying misty, and she was carrying the groceries with magic. A few people looked at me and misty seeing how close we were they called us disgusting a few times. Eventually, I really hope I can meet one of those bigots when they get enough balls to step forward. Call my girl disgusting Ill geld your asses.


When we did finally get home it was a little past four, since there was no Light home, he must have been out with the crusaders. After a short break we started putting everything away, including the clocks which I hung up pretty much everywhere. They were all analog. Not surprising. But it was still nice being able to tell the damn time without looking at the sun.

Since we had just finished putting the food away we immediately pulled it back out, and made ourselves some. Because after all, Forethought is not one of my strong suits. After we made food and put everything away for the second time Mist and myself were sitting at the table just chatting.

“So you and…What was her name again? Be? Have been friends for a while correct?” I nodded

“Yup, I’ve known Be since…Oh, A little after I killed the manticore, I met her in the hospital so…A week maybe two after I arrived. Which would put us at almost a full season.” She smiled at that.

“And you and her never…Tried anything?” I laughed at that.

“Me and Be? I love the girl to death don’t get me wrong. But no way would I go there. Besides, she’s now in a three way relationship with a maid and an apple bucker. I would really rather not join in on that.” She nodded and bit into her sammich. Seriously… Flowers.

“And… Let’s see… Tell me about this Brew character.” Speak of the devil.

“I would rather he not, undoubtedly everything he has to say is slanderous.” She hopped up onto the table next to me before sitting.

“My question is far more important. Who are you?” Brew! My god!

“Brew, hun. This is my…Mare friend, Moon mist.” Brew looked at me then back to mist.

“You’re kidding.” I just shook my head.

“No, I’m not accepting it. She is way out of your league eclipse. She looks…Refined. I would even go as far as to say noble. You? You’re….You!” Surprise!

“Brew, we are dating. You said I needed to stop being a pushover and get a mare, so I have.” Brew looked at me long and hard before turning back to misty.

“Your too good for him…Run.” And with that she hopped off the table and walked away. Misty looked at me all wide eyed before laughing a little.

“She is just a child!” I smiled.

“She’s older than me.” Suddenly she wasn’t laughing.

“Well how old are you?” I looked at her a moment. How could we get this far without knowing how old each other were…Were going too fast…Again.

“I’m nineteen.” She smiled.

“Me too!” Coincidence? No… Weighted dice.

“You’re nineteen?” She smiled and nodded again.

“Seriously? How old are you really.” She sighed.

“I’m seventeen.” I just smiled.

“See. That’s better, No lies plus your younger than me. That’s good.” She looked at me like I was stupid.

“You…Like younger mares?” Kinda a dumb question.

“Well…Yea.”

“Nopony wants the younger mares! We normally don’t even get looked at till were at least twenty!” SERIOUSLY?!

“Really? Why?”

“Well, Breeding is easiest right about that time…” Oh…

“Don’t ponies have recreational? Well. Sex?”

“What?”

“Can’t ponies have sex for fun?” Why do I always have to simplify. She’s supposed to be the smart one!

“Oh... Well, yes but we don’t do it often. It’s a waste to the males I suppose. You won’t find many who enjoy…Fun sex, unless apparently they are you.” True...

“Well what about mares?” She smiled.

“Most mares are pretty horny… All the time.” Oh… okay then. Different species different rules.

“That actually explains a lot. What it doesn’t cover is the serious number difference in male to female ratios around here.” She laughed at that one.


“Well to be honest, a lot of ponies in Ponyville are filly foolers. Most of the males you see were born here, a lot of the females moved here. Because Ponyville doesn’t have too many bigots about that sort of thing. Interspecies on the other hand…” Yea… I know that one…

“This whole situation is just weird. But okay. I can handle that. Let’s see here, anything in specific I should know about you?” she thought a moment.


“Two things and these are very important.” Okay?

“I HATE tomatoes and carrots.”….

“Marry me?” She started laughing.


“Maybe soon enough lover boy. Why you don’t like tomatoes or carrots either?” I just smiled.

“Hated the things since birth, tomatoes especially. They just don’t taste or feel right. Not at all.” We both laughed and continued talking over lunch, which, to be honest was already gone. We were just talking.

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