• Published 30th Jan 2012
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The nature of the beast. - Kintra



The adventures of a sarcastic pessimist who visits a world full of creatures who love and tolerate.

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Scroll Four: Boundries

The kindness of these pony princess continues to astound me, although now almost three months have passed and I’m only on the basics of learning how to write equestrian, I now speak it fluently. Luna and I have grown close, disturbingly close; I’ve often caught myself staring at her flank and not in a "Nice cutie mark" way. Need to keep a hold of myself. They are horses, Ponies. I'm a human. Though, they are sentient, so would it still be frowned upon? Anyway, let’s get back to my puke shall we?


Princess Celestia honestly did try to make herself out to be decent with humans she did, but when I threw up on her floor, No sorry, Not just her floor, on her Bedroom floor. She thought it was a human way of saying "Hello."

It took almost an hour to explain that humans are, fragile. Creatures, We are tenacious and don't know when to die, But we are extremely sensitive, not in a good way like "Cry at a movie" which took another twenty minutes to explain, by that time, I managed to get a mop and bucket from the "Servant" Ponies and continued explaining while I mopped. (The servants ran when they saw me, so I had to mop. Fun times.)

After I finally explained it all, she was looking at the floor like I murdered a bunny. After a few minutes of her explaining, turns out ponies in Equestria can’t throw up. Not sure if ponies in our world can, I know that cows can be led up, but not down stairs. But horse puke? Clueless. By this time Luna had entered the room and was lying on the bed next to her sister while I walked around and looked at the place.

It was amazing, from the marble pillars to the tapestries each wall covered in hundreds of books, ledgers, Documents of all sorts. One book in specific drew my interest "Celestia's rants" Which was promptly plucked from between my fingers by some white magic and a "That’s private." from my furry white companion.

The door was on the east wall directly in front of the bed which was some twenty to thirty feet away, Windows on both other walls, large windows, leading out to balconies. The bed Celestia had was one of the beds with like, Curtain built into it. Hang on. Canopy beds. Luna is a smart pony.

The bed was a royal white and red, with the princess’s cutie mark emblazoned on each of the curtains when closed. It was very pretty, in a sort of ironic sense, No privacy minus the bed curtains, but Celestia had an "Always open" door rule. Eh.

"So, if you are done adventuring about the room, I will allow you, Kyle, to decide which you wish to focus on first. Would you like to learn to speak equestrian, or attempt to limit your strength?" I looked at her and then at Luna, "Can she take my language too?" I said in a stupid tone of voice, somewhere between squeaking and demanding.

"I believe she already has, though when she heard you hurt Spike, and almost twilight, she was very mad at you." I nodded in understanding, I’m an ass, I know the assey things I do are loaded with ass. It’s just how I work. "Luna, you can speak English yes?" I asked while looking at her squarely. She turned her head till she was staring in my soul. (That’s fun to say, staring into my soul. Heh.)


"Yes, I can speak your brutish tongue. But I refuse to acknowledge you until you apologize for hurting Twilight. "She said it in a VERY condescending tone. Like she knew she was better than me. But hurting Twi? What? "Uh, right. I’m sorry for hurting twili...You know what, no I’m not. I didn't do anything to her, Spike is the only one I need to apologize to, and quite frankly princess I dislike your tone!"

I couldn't help myself, my voice raised as I got further into the sentence. She stared at me; her eyes were wide, in surprise or of hatred. Again, Not sure! Then the worst possible thing happened. She laughed. It was a sincere laugh. One of joy. Not pity, or hatred, or anything. Joy.

When she finally stopped laughing even Celestia was staring at her funny. "Luna dear? Are you okay? Should I get somepony down here for you?" Now, I know Celestia meant the best, But did it sound like she was asking Luna if she had gone crazy? Yes, yes it did. "No, no dear sister." She said between chuckles.

"It’s just been so long, since someone told me what was truly on their minds. It’s always what they think I want to hear, never what they really think. This human has showed me a kindness more so then any other since my return just by insulting me!" Insulting her? Rigghhhttt. Care on the funny farm. "Uh, Okay. I was going to ask if you wanted to be my equestrian tutor so that Celestia could focus on a limiter doohickey but quite frankly, you’re freaking me out."

I hated being the truth bringer, But one thing I can’t do is lie when it’s not necessary, I'm one of few people who can be labeled "brutally honest" at almost every situation.

After another laughing bit she calmed down and looked at me again, she changed to. She no longer tried to pierce my soul (fun.). With her eyes, instead she was sizing me up, and dare I say I think she saw me as at least an equal. "I agree, I will teach you equestrian reading writing and speak while my sister works on your limitation device."

I fell on my ass, the princess of the night, tutoring me. Well, we all have to start somewhere. Since I was speechless, Celestia figured she would join in, "Agreed, us splitting the research and teaching should accelerate progress, while still being able to retain royal duties, Luna dear, please take our human guest to the "Royal" guest room." Celestia said while drawing a few books from her shelf she sat on the bed to read, while Luna got off the bed walked to me grabbing my shirt with her mouth lifting me off the ground and holding me until I stood on my own. "You humans are rather light aren't you?" she said while I walked alongside her into the marble hallway, the large doors behind us shutting with hardly a squeak.

"Well, I suppose yes, Horses are quite heavy where I came from, And if anything, I guess that means I’m super light in comparison." at this point I snapped and stood still a moment until she turned to look at me. "Did you REALLY agree to teach me just because I voiced my opinion?!" I said in what I thought was a harsh whisper, Turned out I pretty much yelled.
GOD this woman irritated me. "Yes, that is why I am assisting you. It is my hopes that when all is said and done, I can come to you and get your honest opinions, not what you think I want to hear. Your truths are truly more precious to me then my royalty." I was stunned, Irritated, and frankly. Sick. That teleport did a number on me. I wanted sleep, so I kept walking. Luna remained stopped however, I could still see Celestia's door marked with a large sun, Not forty feet from where I was, another forty and there was another door marked with a moon, And behind me was a door with an eclipse painted across the doorway. "This is my room isn’t it?" I said weariness making me much quieter than I thought. "Yes, Kyle. Also. The word, Kyle, It has no equestrian translation. We need to find you a name tomorrow. Sleep tight. Kyle, I’ll be in in the morning to begin lessons."

Did they ever sleep? I didn't care, I pushed open the doors. Whoops, Turns out they were pulls, The hinges snapped and groaned until the door fell from its resting spot, Both sides, almost fifteen feet high snapped and fell on top of me. Forming a sort of igloo-tunnel. "Son of a bitch." I muttered to myself not even caring about the laughter from the hallway. I walked through my newly made door-tunnel into my room, which was situated much like Celestia's, Minus the tiny windows. I liked it.
It didn't matter though. I immediately went to my bed plopped onto it and lost consciousness. For a while.

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