Scroll One: Entry
((A warning, to those of you who are about to embark on this HORRIBLY WRITTEN QUEST. I beseech you, just ignore the mistakes. Seriously, I know there are a shit ton, and when I find the time, I will certainly come back and fix them. But, time is not on my side. If it was, hell, maybe this story would have been longer? Who knows. I for one don't. none the less. Carry on if you wish, but you have been warned. This shit is BAD. Go read "Of Hooves and Hands" if you want something not horribly written...))
Why is it that the moments that define you as a human being are always your moments of weakness? Times that spread before you filled with choices and consequences, But for some reason we always choose the wrong one?
Hey all, if your reading these scrolls then either your bored or genuinely interested about me, so lets start by saying,
hello. My name is Kyle Terin, for these first few scrolls that is my name, and you will be informed of the switch. My place in life is currently in the chambers I’ve been living in the past three months, belonging to none other then the royal family of Equestria. Where I am currently writing these journals as a history for whatever reason Luna wants me to. But this is kinda the "Introductory" Scroll, SO I should tell you about myself.
As I said, my name is Kyle, I’m a 19 year old human. And im a pessimistic ASSHOLE. With a very good/bad sense of humor. Depends on who you ask, and by human standards, a failure at life. Ill let your imagination run wild with why, And chances are your right. I stand 6`2, not super tall but I like it. I'm white and frankly, pretty pale. My facial features are unfortunately NOT worth describing. Aside from my eyes. I LOVE eyes, mine especially. Being a bright almost crystalline blue with yellow sprouting from behind my Pupil, a lot like an eclipse.
I had a medium body build, not much fat, not much muscle. But that's neither here nor there, I’m sure some of you will look at these first scrolls and go, "Oh hes got super powers!" and leave, trust me when I say. That wont be staying. So far everything in my new life has held a purpose. For my sake, I ask you work past that. They aren't there forever, now, I know most of you also think that Equestria is a happy place, one of rainbows and butterfly's. I regret to inform you that that is only half true.
Turns out the Equestria in the show is only half the truth. As I’m sure most of you already know, no place can be that happy right? Right. Not without fighting for the happiness it has. Equestria is still a very nice place. And so far the princesses have treated me extremely well, even Celestia, who has become like a big sister to me. Luna and I are...I'm not even sure yet to be frank. Ugh listen to me ranting on about my life. Alright, lets just skip all that shall we, lets go straight to the important points, I was a hard core brony. I mean, pony everything.
I'm sure you all know what I mean when I say that, and chances are I was just as bad, If not worse then you. Since the show happened my life consisted of fan fictions, episodes, and pictures of ponies. My family. Knew, but didn't understand. They didn't try and stop it though. Mostly because they were too "Busy" my family were all workaholics. They did nothing but work, shit, to relive stress my mom did algebra. WHO DOES THAT!? Needless to say, with a stress reliever like that its not much to say we didn't talk a lot. But still, brony for life. Now that I’m here, I ask myself, would I do it again? Yes. Would I change anything? That’s a toughie. But to be honest. I kinda like my story as its played out. Everything so far has just been....Alright. So lets get this show on the road.
I awoke in a forest clearing, I assumed my parents got sick of me and dumped me here, and first thought in my head was. "Well..Alright, shit." Not a happy camper, pretty much ever. Looking around it really wasn’t that special, the trees just lead to more trees and..Oh! A river! I walked over to the calm stream cupping my hands I drank thirstily, the water was crisp and clear. I ended up with half of it on my shirt. I didn't care. It was a cheapy black wall-mart shirt. The black pants I was wearing were covered in dirt, being jeans I wasn’t to worried so I just brushed it off. And stood back up. "Now... Which way to go."
I ended up following the stream, I was pretty happy when I broke the forest line I did find something and I’m ashamed to say at first I didn't recognize it. The buildings were larger, fuller then they were In the cartoon. So weird I can look back and say "Cartoon" And hate myself for saying that. But I suppose when a dream becomes real, what we fear the most, is when it becomes too real.. Strangely colorful, but empty town. As I wandered through the small town I didn't see anyone, I had been walking for almost two hours and barely felt out of breath, which was weird. But still I wandered through the town occasionally hearing shutters shut or doors close or muffled words.
I thought maybe there was a curfew? I hadn’t noticed till then but the sun was almost set. I decided that maybe there was a curfew and really hoped no one was going to enforce it. and then it hit me, I went to bed around 2 am in the morning. I woke up walked for roughly 2 more hours (Complete theory by the way, no watch or phone. All I had on me was a pen which I’m now using to write this.) and yet the sun was setting, so either I was walking a lot longer then I thought or they shipped me halfway across the world. "God dammit..." I muttered as I walked. Eventually I ended up at the center of town and found a fountain. I drank some of the water from it before looking at the huge oddly shaped horse standing on its hind legs. "Heh, almost looks like an equestrian." I said screw it anyway and sat on the lip of the fountain. I can just wait for morning. Then everyone will come out...
You ever tried waiting till morning? No book, or moving, or anything? I was out in ten minutes from sheer boredom...
I woke in the morning, though still no one was out and about. I went behind one of the nearby buildings for some privacy while I took care of business, when I finished I started heading out to the fountain, and there was a large purple and green lizard just...Sitting there. Now, I'm sure you all have that voice that tells you to do something you shouldn’t in the back of your head. ya know, The one that says "jump" when looking over a cliff, the one that says "Is it flammable" When holding a lighter. You know the one.
Mine was VERY strong that day. I walked forward to the strangely large lizard until I was just about behind him. Off a wild guess, he was about as big as my shin. Not that big, but still. I poked him. Don't ask me WHY I poked him! I just did!
What happened next was not what I expected to happen though. He turned and saw me, Then he panicked, And fire from this little dragon scorched my hand, which was the only part of my body in range, as he jumped from his roost and ran to a tree in the distance shouting "Twilight!" My hand was on fire, not literally of course, but the searing pain in my hand ended up being far too much for me to handle, I screamed before I passed out. I know that much.
For those of you playing the home game, dragon fire can only send things of a certain size, after that? Its meant to cause as much pain as physically possible. Dragons can switch between these breaths at will, and I’m sure you figured out which one I got.
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you had me at pessimistic asshole, this i want to see
*facehoof* dude, you misspelled 'brony'
"But still, bronie for life"
*ulterior facehoof* ". I poked him" ... okay, that sounds awkward out of context, but still, you POKED A DRAGON are you a moron?
My first thought when he said, "I poked him" You were channeling the spirit of that one crocodile hunter dude, you know the one that goes," This heres the wild and dangerous rattlesnake! one bite from 'im and I'm finished!.... Imma poke him with this here shtick!"
249027 lololol my thoughts exactly and I read this after that parody from Gabriel Iglesias
you have a lot of grammar issues in this chapter. I don't have time to go through and pick them all out for you atm, but if you ever have some free time and feel in the mood to do some editing, start here.
Grammar aside, we'll see where this goes.
How am I EVER going to read all of this? Better get started...
The story of a brony named Kyle who also happens to be a sarcastic ass with a horrible sense of humor! Can he take his new life in equestria? Or will the secrets he discover tear him apart?
this is me all the way. Kyle Connolly. I love it.
Soy Spartan 300
Oh come on, don't be like that. This is one of the very first fics I read, and one of the reasons I'm a brony today!
"The voice that says 'Is it flammable?'"
.... Get out of my mind....
- being jeans I wasn’t too worried
- And then it hit me
Everyone keeps saying that this is full of mistakes and yet I only found two, either you've been through this already and got 'em all or I am really off the ball right now.
What a great day to get hand burned by a midget sized dragon
I like it
"Is it flammable?"
*pours gasoline on it* It is now.
Why is it always the pessimists that end up in Equestria?
9701596
The pessimists would say that it is proof that the Supreme being has a twisted sense of humor. I say it is because they provide more opportunities for conflict for the author.