• Member Since 25th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen July 18th

seeker9709


T

After a terrible accident when she was a filly, the once thought dead Twilight Sparkle disappeared. After 15 years she is returning to Canterlot, and leaving bodies in her wake. Can Celestia and Luna, aided by Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor, put an end to the Unicorn's rampage? But most importantly, will they understand how the mare stayed alive, and why she has returned?


Edited by Zintegy and The Pink Mugsy

Chapters (56)
Comments ( 2150 )

Well this could be interesting, have a tracking, but you better come up with a decent reason why she survived in no-ponies land as a kid and came out as a super soldier when the time comes.

how'd it sound with the song of " im coming home?"

1893557>

As the chapters progress I will reveal more and more bout her past both what happened to make her leave, and how she survived

1893599

See above comment:pinkiehappy:

There's a handful of grammar errors, but not a bad start otherwise. Tentatively tracking until more chapters come and I can form a better opinion.

I saw the tabs wont the other elements appear or you just listed the more important ones?
liked the beginning Moar :twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

1894066

Nope just Twilight and Rainbow:twilightsheepish:

Celestia will also be a major character, but I could only select 5 main characters and I think Luna will be more important

I like this story! :twilightsmile: I am, though, slightly irked by the small grammar errors here and there. Do you want an editor? If not, that's fine. :twilightblush: But I'll be willing if you need one! :pinkiesmile:

1894230

I wish someone would tell me what the bucking errors are so I can fix them.:twilightangry2:

I currently don't have an editor and would be greatfull if you would be mine:twilightsmile:

i keep an eye on you. this seems promising. in the mean time, might i recommend my favorite fanfic? its called "The Immortal Game" I think you would enjoy it.:moustache:

1894383

I am always running out of things to read. I'll give it a try:pinkiesmile:

All of my yes.:flutterrage:

All of it.:pinkiecrazy:

All of my yes.:flutterrage:

All of it.:pinkiecrazy:

A most intriguing premise.... A hardened loner Twilight who isn't afraid to use all of the enormous power she was born with to it's fullest (and lethal) potential? :pinkiegasp:

The power of the Element of Magic, without the pacifistic nature gained from her normal upbringing? :rainbowderp:

Consider me highly curious, and eager for more. :pinkiehappy:

Excellent work. :twilightsmile: Though I wonder who the love interest(s) will be? :derpyderp1:

1894637

It will get even better. Trust me

Buck... and dashie of course :rainbowdetermined2: no one else could handle a fellow light spectrum :facehoof:

1894832 ok when dealing with me take what i say oon the same level of trying to explain pinkie :pinkiecrazy:

1894847

Try your best to explain though :ajsmug:

1894855 i think the love interest could be dashie , as in the spectrum thing, a rainbow is the visible light separated into its primary colors, twilight is the time of day between day and night, basically another wave length occurring only for a limited time. :pinkiehappy:

1894778 I have every intention of doing so. :twilightsmile:

1894874

I wont give spoilers, but that's a pretty good guess. You put a lot of research into your analyses. Job well done:pinkiehappy:

1894887

I hope to not leave you dissapointed :pinkiesmile:

9Time for me to step out of my comfort zone and try a more violent fanfiction, doing that a lot lately (that is step out of my comfort zone, maybe I made an unconscious New Years resolution) . I like this story and it is fairly alluring to make me want more of it with the amount of patience Pinkie Pie has with anything except her best friends:pinkiehappy:. Favorite and thumbs up, keep up the good work.

Wait. If Twilight disappeared as a filly, and only now returned, then how's Luna there?

this is to good to only have one chapter, I NEED MORE!

oh please let there be more, how do we have more? there must be more.

1896813

There will be more, in fact I have a few more in my hopper, but I learned the hard way from my other story that I can't pout three in a row out, other wise I won't have anything in case I get writers block. Don't worry you will have more soon :pinkiehappy:

1895008 Thankyou kindly. :twilightsmile:

I'm just praying it's not a Twimac. :twilightsheepish:

1897404

The Lone Shadow. I understand you are nervous about the romance part of the story specifically that it will be Twimac. I will keep my response short and simple

(Ahem)... BUCK NO:flutterrage:

Hope this clears everything up for you:pinkiehappy:

Whooo damn... Twilights a phycopathic badass... I like this... Do continue... :pinkiecrazy:

well, color me captivated :twilightsmile:
cant wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:

Holy buck. I must have really out done myself. In less than 18 hours have almost as many favorites than my other story has collected in 2 months:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I'm gunna through out a wild guess saying you're favorite pony is Twilight.
Anywho, I like where your going with the story.:raritywink:
I'll be waiting for more!

1897862

Actually it's Luna, but Twilight is definetly my second. i just really like the idea of a renegade and unstable Twilight

1898109

Alternate universe. No Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony or dormant again.

1898230

A few more questions will be answered with the next chapter

In 19 hours I have more favorites on this story than my first in one and a half months. Thank you so much everypony, and Congratulations to Mermz for being the 88th favoriter:pinkiehappy:

little to strong

too

Also, your sentences often seem very.. fragmented? I'm not a grammartitrician, but things like

He took exactly three steps before his throat exploded in blood. His head nearly coming off from the wound.

sound better to me with commas. The sentences are broken up too often by periods, which causes them to read haltingly.

It flew through the air but just a few feet before hitting my head it split in half. Flying harmlessly passed my head.

Should be "past." Again, I think this needs a comma.

“Whats the matter?” I asked him “Cat got you're tongue?”

What's, your

Another stood “Crazy bitch. What are you doing.” He yelled before throwing his mug.

should be

Another stood, yelling “Crazy bitch, what are you doing?” before throwing his mug.

I like the premise of your story. I think you could tell it a lot better if you took some time to read up on and practice grammar and style.

1898980

I just got an editor, and haven't been able to fix the grammar mistakes yet. Trust your not the only one telling me, but it's appriciated :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Oni deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by seeker9709 deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by Oni deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by seeker9709 deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by Oni deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by seeker9709 deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by seeker9709 deleted Jan 5th, 2013
Comment posted by Oni deleted Jan 5th, 2013
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