6 days remaining
Twilight stood, staring out across the huge city. The wind whipped at her mane as she stood at the edge of a crenelated tower, unaffected by the weight that rested on her back. It was an engineering masterpiece, Canterlot. Built into the side of a mountain, it was a city unlike anything anypony had seen before, even a place like Cloudsdale. Before her lay the valley underneath the great hanging metropolis. The river that normally flowed between the hills and part of the mountain below the hanging city lay still, frozen over. The entire valley was coated in glistening snow, providing Equestria's capital with a view unlike any other.
Nothing, not even the looming threat that hung over the head of the purple mage could take away Twilight's awe and wonder. It made sense, the magnificent place. Home to both Princesses of the day and night, it was only logical that the city reflect both sister's beautiful works.
In the day, the sunlight cascaded down upon the city, not just the Palace. The Princesses were far beyond that kind of selfishness. Despite their positions, they were still ponies just like their subjects; why should they have all of this beauty to themselves? Instead, they chose to spread the beauty amongst the entire city. The beautiful structures would gleam and shine in their ultimate glory. Stained windows would have their beautiful artwork glorified by the celestial body that is the sun. The gardens flourished in the light, taking on the sun's rays to become bigger, stronger, and even more beautiful every day. The streets shimmered and shone under hoof as countless ponies traversed the gorgeous city, the day bringing sunshine and happiness to their lives.
But at night, the city once again changed. Gone away was the shimmering sunlight and glimmering streets. Instead, the were replaced by yet another beauty. Pale moonbeams descended into the shadows, illuminating the night and shining through the darkness. Ponies had always feared what they could not understand or see. Luna's moon and stars naturally filled this gap for the citizens of Equestria. The celestial objects of the night sky would reveal what was hidden in the shadows for those who were awake, while Luna would chase nightmares and unpleasant dreams away from those ponies who were sleeping.
Of course, not everything had to have a practical use. Most ponies forgot about the real reason for the moon and stars, as the years went by. Instead, they revered their Princess of the Night and her stars for the beauty they brought to the dark sky. Luna was a true artist, and her ponies eagerly scanned the veil above them night after night to see what new creations she would bring.
But even night and day alone weren’t always enough. Summer and Winter each had their own designated time, the Summer and Winter Solstices, so that each Princess's time would be extended. In the summer, Celestia's day was extended for the season, and likewise in the winter for Luna. Now it was Luna's time, and even Twilight could not deny the breathtaking beauty of the scene below her
The snow and ice glowed in the pale moonlight, which shined so brightly. The white crystals glistened like the stars above them, transforming the world into a winter wonderland. Twilight could have watched it all night without tire.
If only she had the time.
She turned her head up towards the sky. The moon was nearing the top of its arc. Soon it would be midnight, and the Princesses would be arriving with Octavia in tow. She turned back, looking at the small form laying curled up on her back. The small white filly was wrapped warmly in some blankets, while Twilight had only her simple brown cloak to protect her from the bitter cold. It didn't bother her though. She was used to far worse from the north; Canterlot was like a chilly breeze compared to a blizzard. The tundra of endless white was surely her greatest danger while growing up, other than herself of course. If she could survive through that, then she could do just fine in far better circumstances such as these.
Not that her current position was much better. In fact, the two seemed quite similar in thought. So many events whipped around her, trying to bring her down and destroy her. If she made just one false step, one wrong move, then she would be smothered and destroyed. And then what? Dementis would take control, and Twilight would have no chance to stop her.
This meeting had to go perfectly. Twilight always had a plan, but there were only so many ways out. Only so many events a pony could be prepared for. And if the pieces did not fall perfectly into line, then the entire operation would be brought crashing down. For every way the plan could go according to plan, there were a dozen ways it could fail. And then what? Brute force? That would only get her so far. Force had its potential, but after some time it loses its use as a fear factor and simply becomes an object to cause rage and anger. Should it over-stay it's welcome, then it could cause other ponies to become reckless. Recklessness was the hardest thing to account for. It was nearly impossible to account for how a pony would react, thus making it nearly impossible to plan against. Nothing is more dangerous than a loose cannon. You could try to plan against them, but just like everything else in this game, if things didn’t go perfectly according to plan, then they would only cause the downfall of the schemer.
Twilight sighed to herself. There they were once again. The grim thoughts. What a lovely mind to have, the one that literally possessed a separate version of itself whose only purpose was to demoralize its owner. Whose sole goal was to find any way to bring her down, and smother her beneath it's unrelenting storm.
'Just like the blizzard.' Twilight thought to herself, glaring down at the stone. Funny how things seemed to come back around. She turned her head back up to the sky. Only two minutes till midnight. Her gaze leveled back at the snowy and ice covered valley. It still glowed and shimmered beneath the moon and stars, shining with it's beauty.
Why dwell on the bad, when she could distract herself with the beauty right in front of her? Good and bad were a part of life, constantly surrounding everypony. Why not spare a moment to partake in the beautiful night? It wouldn't be there forever, and neither would Twilight.
30 minutes later
“Are you absolutely sure? You can still help her. Please, there is still time.” It had been a day since Luna and Celestia confronted Octavia, and still the night alicorn begged for Octavia's help. After their meeting, Octavia had been made aware of what had taken place the previous day. Afterwards, she had asked to be left alone until the next day.
Luna had hoped that the revelation would sway Octavia to their side, but upon visiting her the next day, it seemed that Octavia had become even more stoic against assisting them. Nothing could sway the magical mare, she seemed totally against the idea of Twilight being saved. She treated the idea like a fairy tail, one just out of reach.
Luna always noticed her expression, though. Every time they asked, if for just a moment, there was a spark of hope in Octavia's eyes, like she was considering the idea. Yet every time her answer would come back in the negative. This did not stop Luna from trying repeatedly, however.
Despite the multitude of armored guards surrounding the pair, Octavia felt as if it was just the two of them. “Please, we can do it!” Luna quailed desperately, still believing she could sway Octavia. “We truly can. Even forbidden magic. Spells that we ourselves have banned. One of them must be able to help her. You can keep her calm while we try to understand it. There has to be something we can do! Anything!”
Octavia shook her head, only causing the deep blue alicorn's face to fall. She rested one hoof on the Princess’s shoulder. “I admire your persistence, I really do. If the circumstances were different I might believe you, but I already believe it is far too late now. I know what you feel, I myself once felt the same way, but I have learned. Only you and Twilight can decide what will happen, and I already know what Twilight will do.”
“You know that we must stop her though. You know very well that we cannot just let her go. Possessed or not, she has committed serious crimes. Murder. Kidnapping. Assault. Torture. These are inexcusable offenses. What would you have us do?” Luna rebutted, her tone both looking for an excuse and an idea. Octavia simply shrugged.
“I can't say. The decision is yours to make. I am simply saying what I think. I cannot force my decision upon you anymore than she can. Will.” She finished, cautiously. The words were bitter in the earth pony's mouth. She was normally kind and understanding, but she felt like a teacher lecturing a school filly. Princess Luna simply put away the idea of letting Twilight choose her own path.
Of course, she did understand what Twilight had done, and she couldn't blame Luna for her decision. Still, she hated having to repeat herself. She knew that she would have to, but the words grew ever so tiresome. Constantly having to reject the Princess was bearing down on her. She knew they wanted to help, but she also knew that she herself could not do so. A promise was a promise. She knew that no matter what, she could never break her promise. The only way she could fully explain everything was if Twilight was there. A set of scars behind her mane enforced that.
Octavia stared out of a large window overlooking Canterlot, hoping the breathtaking view would take her mind away from whatever would happen next. Her tone, though she hated it, told Luna that she would not listen any further. She had tried to be gentle, but now she had abandoned the thought. It was clear that her words left their impact on the night princess.
“Very well.” Came the response. Octavia shut her eyes, shaking her head with a sigh. After that, there was only silence save for the occasional clank of armor from one of the guards. The silence lasted for minutes until Shining Armor entered the room.
“Princess Luna.” He addressed the alicorn, using her full title while he came to attention. “You have two minutes.” The Night Alicorn nodded sullenly before Shining left as quickly as he came. Luna turned back towards the ponies surrounding her, her tired look suddenly replaced with a fierce one. “Come now. It's time to go.”
Luna turned, Octavia quickly falling into place behind her. What else could she do? She was simply a captured pawn trapped between two queens. What happened next was their decision. All of a sudden, Luna turned on her. She held one hoof up in the air towards Octavia's chest. “Not you, you are staying put until you're called.” The guards continued moving while Octavia sat stunned.
What was Luna planning? Octavia was supposed to be there so that Twilight would know that she was safe. Just what kind of crazy thing was Luna thinking? 'Whatever it is,' Octavia thought to herself, 'I just hope that she knows what she's doing'.
Twilight's body jerked suddenly. She turned away from the picturesque view, gazing behind her with wide eyes. It didn't take a mage to detect the presence of an alicorn. She could feel the energy coming off of the Princess even though she could not yet see her. She knew that they were strong, she had tasted some of that power back in the tunnels, but here, when her opponent had had time to prepare, Twilight could almost feel the ground tremble.
The unicorn's horn glowed brightly, her magic rippling outwards towards the source of energy. The buildings fell into the background, while Twilight could still clearly see the bodies of the alicorns outlined behind the towering structures. She was, of course, unsurprised to find both of the rulers together. The power she could feel was far too great to belong to just one of them. Twilight smirked to herself. Clearly they weren't taking any chances with any regular negotiator. The best of the best was coming to the show, but then again Twilight would not have expected anything less.
She stepped off of the roof of the tower and onto the level ground next to it, her magic enveloping the white filly who still lay curled up on her back. She gently set her down on the ground. The filly's head rested against Twilight's leg as she puffed and snored gently, unaware of what was taking place in the conscious world. Twilight pitied the filly. She led such a simple life, blissfully unaware of the horror of the real world. Most Equestrians did. But then again, after all that Twilight had experienced, maybe it was for the best. The outside world was nothing to joke of.
It only took a few moments before the alicorns finally showed themselves, standing tall at the height of the stairs leading to the Palace. They descended the long steps, not slowing for a single moment. Both of them locked eyes with Twilight immediately, as Twilight did the same to them. It was like three predators meeting for battle, each side wary and scanning their opponent for weakness or hesitation.
As they moved closer and closer to the one who had caused them such pain and trouble, they saw Sweetie Belle propped up against Twilight. “There's no need to worry.” Twilight called over the strong wind, watching them as they studied the young mare. Luna's expression was one of fury, and she quickened her pace ahead of her sister until she was practically sprinting down the stairs. Twilight, however, wasn't bothered by Luna's sudden rush, and instead continued speaking.
“She is completely uninjured. She has been fed and given water, untouched by magic other than a sleeping and memory spell. She will wake up tomorrow with no recollection of what happened, and-” Her words were silenced as Luna, now propelled by her wings, struck Twilight in the jaw, sending the mare tumbling head over heels into the side of the platform she had just left. If it were not for one of the large teeth topping the tower she was tossed onto, she would have tumbled straight off and fallen quite a few stories to her demise.
Needless to say, her sudden impact with said stone was not a pleasant one. The back of her head struck the hard rock, setting off spots that danced in her eyes. Her lower jaw hung slack, and she felt for all the world as if she had just been struck with a burning iron. She was lucky it wasn't broken, though it sure felt like it was. Blood dripped from one side of her mouth, staining her teeth and falling onto her coat and mane.
She gasped, trying to reclaim the breath that had been ripped from her lungs. Only a moment later, she began to rise shakily from her seat. In an attempt to shield herself, a few sparks of magic spouted from her. She had only a moment to glance at Celestia cradling Sweetie Belle, before her throat was gripped in magic and she was brought eye-to-eye with Princess Luna. A hoof strike to her horn canceled out the spell she had attempted to use, and sent pain shooting into her skull. Such an act was very dangerous to a unicorn, since the magic that had been gathered at the tip of their horn suddenly has no way of getting out and rebounds inside of the unicorn's body, causing pain and sometimes even nerve damage.
The splitting pain told Twilight that she had been spared any serious damage, but it did little to help her.
Luna's eyes blazed with fury, a cold light that cut through Twilight and imbued her with a frozen and empty feeling. She couldn't do more than stare back with wide eyes as she was hurled through the air once again, colliding with the ground even harder than before.
“Tell me how it feels, Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight's body was limply dragged to Luna once again. The alicorn's tone betrayed her eyes, calm and controlled. Twilight found herself being slammed against a wall, unable to defend herself. “How does it feel to be unable to defend yourself as another pony relentlessly beats you?” Twilight was thrown to the ground yet again, blood pouring from her nose. Multiple cuts and bruises covered her body now, and one of her hooves made a sickening crack as it landed harshly.
“I know another pony that does know that pain. It only happened the other day, and I'm sure you know who it is as well. Don't you?” Twilight found herself staring straight into Luna's eyes for the third time. The unicorns body hung limply as she met Luna's hard stare. She couldn’t find the strength to speak, instead she hung silently.
Without responding, Luna sent the mare crashing into the stone wall. Twilight was nearly knocked unconscious with the collision, blood dripping down her flank from the gash on the back of her head. The voice still reached her ears as she lay crumpled on the ground. “I don't give a damn about what you felt before. I am focused on what you feel now, and I hope that it's mind-splitting, agonizing pain. Because that's what Fluttershy felt when you MUTILATED her.”
Twilight waited for the next blow to come, but found that it did not. Instead, she was gently picked up and sat up-right against the wall. Luna now knelt down in front of her, staring at her with her mouth set into a hard, sad line. “I could kill you right now. Technically I should. No need to risk your little demon getting out.” She tapped one hoof against Twilight's forehead, sending pain shooting through her skull again. “But you see, we still think we can save you. I know for a fact that the little Twilight Sparkle I once knew is still in there. I saw it with my own two eyes only a few weeks ago. So I will show you mercy this time, but mark my words.”
Luna tilted Twilight's head upwards so that she could see Luna's smile. The moon princess whiped one hoof across Twilight's muzzle, clearing away some of the blood and grime so that she could still breath. “If you fight me again, then I will have no choice but to put you down for good. Test me, Twilight Sparkle, I dare you.”
There was a pop and flash of magic, and a small ring appeared between the two. The alicorn plucked it out the air, sliding it onto Twilight's horn. “That should keep you from fighting back. Don't worry, you're in safe hooves now. Just go to sleep and it will all be better when you wake up.”
“Wait.” Twilight wheezed, the pain nearly causing her to pass out. Luna stared at her with an upturned eyebrow. “Octavia... is she... okay? Is she-”
She was silenced by Luna, holding one hoof up. “Octavia has been unharmed and is in safe hooves as well. But you should not worry about her. Just go to sleep, Twilight. We will make it better soon.”
She stared into Twilight's eyes, and saw a small spark of resistance still in the unicorn's gaze. Luna shook her head, tutting quietly. “Now now, Twilight. I said go to sleep.” Magic wafted down from Luna's horn, surrounding Twilight in its haze. It only took a moment before her eyelids grew heavier and heavier and sleep finally took her, as she slumped against the wall.
Luna looked down on her, with an expression of both pity and surprise. She had expected threats or violent words, but instead when she was beaten and hurt, Twilight asked about the safety of her friend. It could have been a bluff, but the look in her eyes...
The look she gave Luna was one of total disregard of her own life. The way she asked it, was as if she would rather die then have her precious Octavia injured in the slightest. It was disconcerting to say the least. She seemed to have no problem with mutilating an innocent pegasus and kidnapping two young fillies, and yet she was worried about her lover. It was pure hypocrisy, if anything else. Luna turned away from the sleeping mare with a disgusted expression.
Celestia watched her patiently, still cradling Sweetie Belle in her magic as Luna approached. Celestia, without turning her head, announced to the empty courtyard, “It is safe. Come foreward.” From behind pillars, on top of balconies, and within shadows, guards ponies emerged, cautiously approaching the area.
Some stared in awe at Luna, slightly unhinged at what they just seen, while others focused on the unconscious mare whom they had only heard stories about. Just two days ago, they had been suddenly made aware that a unicorn whoes power rivaled that of a minor alicorn was leaving a trail of bodies all the way to Canterlot. Needless to say, they were being extremely cautious.
As a few guards approached her, Luna growled at them. “Get her out of my sight.” As she walked, she cradled one hoof gently. Maybe she had overdone it on the swings. She met her sister's eyes, still moving towards the taller alicorn. Before she could speak, Celestia laid the bundled filly onto Luna's back. “I know what you're thinking, sister. Don't worry about it. I will take over from here.”
Luna opened her mouth to argue, but was shot down by her older sister's glare. “No arguing. You need to calm down before you do any permanent damage to the poor thing.”
“Celestia, Sister, I'm fine. I can handle myself. Trust me, my anger is out.” Luna retorted, feeling like a filly arguing with her mother.
“It is quite obvious of the opposite, in fact. Remember Luna, we want her beaten, not broken. We want to help her, not destroy her. Take some time to calm down and ensure your head is on straight before you put yourself in a room with her.”
Celestia placed a friendly hoof on her younger sister's shoulder. “Don't worry. Take Sweetie back to her room. I can handle things for an hour. You seem to forget that we both had militaristic days. At the same time, in fact.”
Luna chuckled quietly. “Fine,” she relented with a smile “but if there are any problems, then make sure I— ” She was cut off by a loud yell from a guard behind them. A rush of wind and power exploded from the rear. If not for Celestia, then a wave of magic would have sent Luna and Sweetie Belle flying.
A giant bolt of magic impacted the shield that Celestia had thrown up behind her younger sister. Luna turned swiftly, falling into a protective stance despite Celestia being the one who had save her.
Neither of them could see through a thick cloud of dust which had appeared where Twilight had been. But they were sure of what had caused it. Luna sent of blast of wind towards the cloud, revealing Twilight standing over the crumpled bodies of three guards.
She stood on her hind legs, her front legs and head hanging limply in front of her. The inhibitor ring attached to her horn sputtered and crackled as it desperately tried to contain her magic. Everypony in the courtyard froze as she lifted her head, staring them down with pitch black eyes and a painfully wide smile that reeked of insanity.
Even Celestia and Luna were stunned at what they saw. While Twilight had been asleep, Luna had forgotten to take into account the other one. The plague that inhabited Twilight Sparkle's small body. The creature that the same mare called Dementis.
The mare took a stumbling step foreward, but did not fall despite her unnatural stance. An eerie tune came from the mare. A simple tune that terrified everypony to their core, hearing it from the monster that they faced.
Her body straightened and she pointed one hoof at Luna, the already painfully wide smile growing even larger. The hoof was the one she had broken during Luna’s assault and was badly bent out of shape, which only added to the terror she emanated.
Despite the lead ring, her horn crackled with black energy which gathered at the tip of her horn. Her mouth opened, allowing for two chilling words to emit. “My turn.” She growled, the energy growing more and more. She pointed her horn towards the Princesses, but just as the spell was released, a cyan blur tackled her to the ground.
Rainbow grabbed her head, pointing Twilight's horn towards the sky as the energy released. The black ball of energy flew into the sky, dissolving into nothingness as it sailed farther and farther away. Without pause, Rainbow rolled on top of the already bleeding mare, delivering a brutal strike to her temple.
Twilight was unconscious for the second time before her head even hit the stone. Rainbow dismounted the evil mare with a disgusted expression. She turned towards the alicorn Princesses, who stood frozen with stunned expressions.
“There.” She spat towards them. “I cleaned up my mess.” And with that, she flew into the air, disappearing into the night sky without a sound.
After another moment of silence, guards surged forward to hold down the mare in case she awoke for a third time. Luna turned away from the scene, moving past her sister. “We are far from cleaning up this mess.” She said, shaking her head as she walked.
4230178
I'd like to second this comment.
god. fucking. damn it. it's like the whole alicorn race is so fucking stuck on their high horses that they can't admit that something is outside of their control. while i do want twilight to come out of this ok, another part of me wants to see everything go wrong for the princesses, just so they can learn a very costly lesson in humility.
Why, oh why do I want to see the Princesses burn for this. I'm not a monster, am I? A little apocalyptic whoop-ass can plus massive amounts of Alicorn horn snapping and wing ripping never hurts anypony, right? Right?
Twilight still has a bargaining chip to use against the princesses. They have Sweetie Belle, but Scootaloo is still missing and no one seems to notice. How long until they realize Scootaloo is still missing and panic that the one mare who knows where she is probably doesn't like them right now.
Either Twilight's plan involves being captured, or she is really bad at planning. I mean, we can argue semantics all day, but loose cannons are ironically easy to predict. They act on impulse derived from emotion, so if you know someone is a loose cannon and how they should be feeling in a situation (angry in the case of Luna), than you should also be able to figure out what it is they are going to do and plan around it. I mean, it's not even like Twilight didn't have enough time to puzzle out what the alicorn was doing do as she flew towards her. There has to be a reason she didn't at least put up a shield or hold Sweetie Bell hostage to ward of attacks.
So, in conclusion; what'chu plannin' Twi?
4230498
God, I swear they all just went up and forgot about Scootaloo...
I really hope that this was part of Twilight's plan..
It's not very.. her... to be beaten so easily..
Rainbow Dash coming in was kinda random to be honest
Also poor Scootaloo.
How peculiar. Yes, Luna. She does know what it's like to be defenseless while hurt. You and your sister saw to that when you failed her, horribly, when she was a filly.
I do hope the Alicorn sisters get a nice curb stomping. They miserably fail Twilight as a filly. They freely allow a filly(that could blow the top off of the mountain) to be relentlessly tormented by her peers, driving her to the point where she's manipulate by whom I suspect might be Sombra. Who implanted a sociopathic black magic demon into her that Luna has met personally.
Twilight is crazy(thanks Moonie and Sunbutt). Holding her accountable for her actions is a.. morally gray area. Beating her after bleating about how you'd like to save her(for what? Trial and execution?) is just disgusting. And beating her when you know that hurting her just makes the demon stronger? Yeah. Good job breaking it, hero.
Though I do expect that being captured is something Twilight planned for.
Must have more!
4231580
If an insane person commits a crime, you still have to put them in asylum. Not necessarily because they are held directly accountable, but because the present a threat to the people around them.
Blaming Luna and Celestia for not being able to help her is also unfair. You can't blame people for not being able to cure aids or polio when they first appeared and then say, "wtf guys? I thought you knew what you were doing." They may be Alicorns, but the're not all knowing. That is an unfair criticism, as is the bullying. Parents and teachers and police officers can tell a child to stop bullying, but they will still do it.
Then there is your final criticism, the beat down. Luna felt justified in her actions because, A: she felt that due to Twilight's actions in taking three innocent ponies away from their families, as well as mutilating one of them, she would be justified in taking a smaller liberty in restraining Twilight. B: Celestia herself showed distaste in Luna's actions ("We only want her beaten, not broken.") but did nothing to stop her, because she knew Luna would use the time to get a mild sense of revenge after what Twilight had done. Remember, Sweetie Belle in their care and possibly has what Twilight had when SHE was a filly. They are trying to make up for their mistake 16 years ago by ensuring that this little filly COULD have a normal life again, and then she is taken away from them.
The severity of the situation is only growing more dire as time goes on, and tempers are flaring high. Fluttershy is mutilated, Octavia is not talking, and two innocent fillies are thrown into the mix by being kidnapped. The final straw is that Octavia cryptically claims that Twilight is going to kill more ponies before this is all said and done. What is more important, One filly or an entire city of ponies. You can't always save the all, so choices have to be made. And sometimes, those choices can mean the difference between life and death.
4230322
I will refer you to my comment to Mad Maudine.
4230178
Too fast of an ending, or too illogical?:
4231994
A bit from column a) and a bit from column b). I was expecting a much more dramatic confrontation. I expected some actual dialog to be exchanged where they try to convince Twilight to come with them before the physical route is taken. Also it's like Twilight didn't even try to stop Luna (she saw her coming and everything). And for all her talk of plans, she obviously didn't plan for the princesses to assault her out of hand (which I think would have been a logical thing to plan for). I was also expecting a scene like this:
*suppression ring goes on Twilight's horn*
Twilight: No you idiot! Quick, take it off before my enchantments fail.
Luna: You expect me to believe that sorry excu-
*Luna is blasted back*
Dementis:Why hello everypony. Thank you so much for getting rid of those pesky enchantments. They really got in the way.
4231981
I would like to reply to this with the fact that Twilight still has Scootaloo hidden away somewhere and now the only pony who knows where she is doesn't really like them too much. Also I would like to point out a flaw in your statement.
She said that this would happen if they got in her way. Twilight herself has said that she doesn't want anypony else to die, or even want to kill them. For the claims of murder and such, the only act of killing that she has done in this story is in the bar, where the patrons were a)outlaws and scum and b)already attacking her.
Also to balance this out is the fact that Octavia has told them something to the effect of " She is dying". It seems to me that if Twilight has already given up, and just needs to finish this one last thing, she will most likely try to die in one form or another afterwards(and what better way to cause your own death than to piss off one of the princesses).
4232188
In the previous chapter, Octavia says: "Before this is over, there will be death." (Second to last paragragh)
She states this meaning that it is inevitable that pain and death will occur, thus the princesses have to act on this information. However, it is not clear who or what will suffer and die, but they can't take any risks.
Thanks for all of your feedback and voicing your opinion. You made a few good points and I will watch out for situations like these in the future. I am only presenting my argument and logic in all of this, so I won;'t hold it against you if you disagree.
4233020
No. Everyone dies, except for the one you hate
This is spectacular story crafting. The pacing, the chosen phrases, the careful foreshadowing and the skilled confluence of events, it's the sort of thing I expect from a published author's tenth novel. It does suffer somewhat with the antagonists being evil for evil's sake, and the whole "dark magic" thing, but of course the show itself is way worse at that. The Flutterdash thing was awkward too, just that it seemed a little over the top in sappiness to also throw "adopting Scootaloo" into that mix. But to write a Shining Armor that I can sympathize with takes doing. The utterly awful acts done to Twilight make a sort of horrifying sense, in that they aren't just hurting a character to make them emo. Purposeful, in a way.
I still have to wonder about Octavia's interrogation though. It's fresh in my mind I guess. Of all the questions Shining could have forgotten to ask, why did he forget to ask "Who did this to my sister?" That's going to come back to bite him, I think.
Her reappearance means Twilight was kidnapped, brutalized, and ruined for years, while everyone else went on thinking she'd just gone and exploded. Shining seems so focused on apprehending her that he forgot that, while they were trying to heal her magic surges, there was someone aggravating them, infecting a foal with dark magic, and making her worse. And that someone had unfettered reign over her for the last 10 years and got away with it. So, while stopping Twilight's murder spree is important, it would be better to let her run around willy nilly if you could just find out who did this to her.
Forget Harley. They need to take down the funny man himself.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/300/d/2/twili_quinn_by_snapai-d4e5r1t.png
4235306
Wow, that's one of the best responses I have ever gotten before. Thanks a bunch. The only thing I i have to add is, Flutterdash? I don't think I alluded to a relationship between them, just two lifelong friend who lived together. Sorry if I alluded to something I shouldn't have.
Finally up to date again! I soooooo love this story
4237033
Eh, shipping is shipping. The fact is you've got Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash being all sweet with each other while at the same time taking care of poor little Scootaloo who loves them as mothers. You're going to lose your readership to adorable induced heart failure!
4239990
Ooooh, don't worry. I stopped being adorable with Fluttershy 4 chapters ago
4232188 4230322 4231580 4231981
Everybrony, please. So far the facts are
-Twilight is dangerous and possessed.
-She is not willing to hurt ponies but is under "Evil" orders.
-The Princesses are trying their best--they are failing though.
-If the Princesses were not emotionally involved then we would call them heartless.
Step 1 to fixing this mess would be capturing Twilight anyway. It would be stupid to send their forces to find some elusive dark lord that may not even have a physical form while his pawn is running around unopposed.
Now, I fully agree that the Princesses are stupid here. I mean stupid as in criminally neglecting and they should get advisers and REALLY read the Evil Overlord list.
Turning your back on the "defeated" super-villain who is wearing nothing but the magical equivalent of handcuffs? Bitch please, she's a COMPETENT villain. Personally I would have at least poisoned her or cut of her horn. Even if this story removes the lore about how a horn works and does something like "without her horn, the magic in her body would overload" then you just drain it out. Those spells are in the story and they got 2 changelings at the ready.
I would like to see how dangerous Dementis is without magic.
Come to think of it, would a Dementis without a horn still be able to slide-evolve to Rapidash?
Getting the cool with the happy, they went Fire!
Ps~Anyway, I bet that now Luna will enter her mind completely underestimating Dementis AND the dark lord who is still lurking around. It's not as if she could ask for assistance of TWO alicorns who specialize in light and love. Besides, they know that Twilight is well-versed in trapping and defending her mind. For all we know they plan on taking over her body. Nightmare Moon hasn't happened yet in this story.
Pps~This is still one of my favorite stories and one of only 4 that I follow. Thank you for all your hard work seeker9709. It's just a pet peeve of mine that I can outsmart most heroes. "Evil always triumphs in the end for Good is dumb."
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Glad I could get into the top 4 Thank YOU for following.
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Believe me, it's my pleasure. You are one of the first authors I see who thought of combining telekinesis and invisibility. (We use it all the time in D&D which ramps up the difficulty.)
Competent villains are a favorite of mine, but usually they are only competent compared to the dumb heroes. At least here the Princesses may learn not to underestimate her. Soon Luna will be attacked in Twilight's mind without them realizing they could heal her brain instead of going in.
Is it possible to remove a Unicorn's horn here?
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It is a very real possibility for such a punishment to be administered. Still though, it is not on egiven lightly.
Also, remember that Luna was already attacked by Dementis, so she may be a bit more cautious that she knows what she is dealing with, or at least has an idea of it.
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I know that this is simply story telling, but she did forget about Dementis just now.
Instead of a lead ring, they could have used a resonance ring--casting a spell hurts and eventually damages the brain. At the very least they could remember that Twilight can melt metal when she ignites!
Is this some sort of pride thing for the Princesses? That there is no way that a mortal can outsmart them? They have been outmaneuvered like 7 times now, and they know that she has powerful patrons with access to ancient and forbidden magic who have prepared this operation for at least 15 years. Somehow, they still figure that Twilight has not foreseen physical violence.
It should be in their power to remove her horn now and reattach / regrow it later. We saw Apple Bloom's teeth regrown in a second.
And have they considered that Sweetie Belle might have her own Dementis / Nightmare Moon now? Soon, Luna will be no more.
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Spoiler Alert
welp I've gone from just wanting the princesses to lose to everyone loses. A Twilight win would also work, but I care more about the " good" guys getting killed one by one now.( to any government agents reading this please don't take what I just said the wrong way)
To the author: Wow, these latest chapters have been hard on you.
Please take heart. There are a lot of people who enjoy what you wrote and want to see Twilight win.
I guess the crux of the matter is that Twilight was the underdog at first. She might be a magical prodigy with smarts and dark patrons, but she was also going up against a veritable pantheon of ancient beings with god like powers. Princesses who reign supreme in the world both physical and spiritual, have armies at their command, and her family.
Then the princesses became the underdogs and Twilight a villain. Now the princesses are no longer the underdog and have stopped being even a threat to her. In theory they still are but the plot seems to demand them be weak.
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It is not that the story demands them to be weak. They are string, confident, and powerful, but they suffer from something that is not weakness or meakness, however it can be (and is, as it seems) perceived that way. I can';t say much, because it is part of the next chapter but sometimes you must have a harder heart to make the correct decision.
So, for now, next week ;)
PS: Than ks for the vote of confidence. The writing has been rather difficult lately, (If by lately I mean since chapter 11) but I will have learned quite a bit by the end of this story. That will only aid me in the future.
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Yay: upwards spiral of experience and improving.
Well, it could all be a double bluff. Twilight is trying to beat her master and his spawn in her head and it seems as if she let herself be captured as part of her plan. In the same way it could be possible that the Princesses want her to escape to see what she will do and have been putting up an act to fool their opponents in a false sense of security.
Don't you hate it when Fimfiction does not tell you when one of your stories that you follow has updated and has a really good chapter.
Anyway. lovely chapter, unexpected twist, not a damn cliffhanger and the fact that we all know for a fact that our overlord Twilight is planning this all along as well as being captured right......
Anyway really nice chapter and I cant wait for more, speaking of, please may I have more seeker, ill love you (more).
-Star
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I gotta say, Homecoming not showing up in people favorite boxes is something that has been going on since the story began, (Almost a year and a half ago, if you can believe it) and despite my complaints, the site admins have yet to fix it.
Maybe one day...
4264129 We can always hope, ALWAYS HOPING, ALWAYS anyway, your right wow 1 year and a bit, so mush progress, although my user is new I have been watching always (i watch you sleep in bed at night, its not CREEPY) such a long time ago.
-Star
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Fimfiction, then steam, and now you're in my house? WHERE DOES IT END FOR YOU?
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On the other note, it';s weird to think that I started this story when I was 15, and now I'm 17 and it's still not finished. What a way to think about it.
4264191 It never ends
-Star
4273491 static.fjcdn.com/comments/Twilight+should+understand+this+You+know+it+s+just+_524a5ff6a30b9e8d5b462364d53262cf.png
-Star
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That's actually kind of cool. Can you see your past self in your writing? Like, during that time you were happy so the chapters were lighter--or the other way around?
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Yeah, but now I look back and cringe at how terrible some things were written out. Like I said, I have learned a-lot, but people liked it, so that' all that really matters. Still though, once I am finished I may go back and iron out some of the wrinkles.
You made it interesting again. I applaud you.
You probably remember me, the one that expressed dislike for Twilight and found her uninteresting? Yeah, that's me.
This chapter... Twilight was caught by surprise (finally) and she got a bit of what she deserved. I'm glad that they didn't just return Octavia to Twilight, but actually used the opportunity to catch her - and of course give Luna the chance to exact a little bit of revenge. I especially liked that little monologue she gave Twilight.
You see, so far it's only been a wild goose chase, where they have tried to find Twilight only to get more and more casualties and constant failures. That's changed, now, and the scenery becomes something entirely different. This is, without a doubt, a pleasant turn of events.
Why can't a single story actually end with alicorns loosing or being portrayed as nothing more than long-lived manipulative control freaks that abuse forbidden mind altering magic like what Cadance does to emotions, Luna does to subconscious and pretty much all of them do to anyone watching them via a modified want-it-need-it spell to instill obedience and awe?
Well... that was annoying. For all the build up, this just feels cheap.
so Twi just drops and allows her ass to be handed to her tf? Gotta be something more to this.
My god I didn't expect this to be so satisfying but it surely was. Seems kinda weird tho. The roles were kind of reversed for Luna and Rainbow. It would've worked if you didn't include Luna having a sad conversation with Octavia. For Luna to feel so sorry for Twilight and then having her beat her up in the next scene is kind of weird. It was also kind of weird but nice seeing Rainbow be as efficient as possible, taking care of Twilight in an instant instead of provoking her or trying to get mindless revenge. Shows that she learns on her mistakes.