• Member Since 26th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen September 15th

Dusk Quill


I once was lost, but now I'm found. Just a quiet blue unicorn with a passion for the written word.

Sequels1

T
Source

This story is a sequel to The Griffon War: A Soldier's Memoirs


A Soldier's Memoirs Saga
The Griffon War | Skyfall | Treason | Everfree | Overture
Retribution

Some time has passed since the Griffon War ended and the Equestrian Army returned home. Peace and harmony has returned to the land. But war changes everything—even when that is war itself. From the ashes of the old military traditions, Skyfall Team is born. Luna's experimental group seems promising: tactical, advanced, intelligent, and powerful—and about to be put to the test, when the Royal Family is threatened from their own home. With little information to go on and short of time, Skyfall Team's trial by fire may leave the Royal Family in terrible danger that could cost them their lives.

Chapters (15)
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Comments ( 164 )

Hey! The sequel is finally out! I'll get to this as soon as I can!

Silver out!

1790551
Yep! Literally just got approved and debuted twenty minutes ago. There's quite a bit of character development and set up to begin with, but it sets the stage for the series, and there's updates already in the editing phase, so stick around for more of the fun.

Looks good. I should probably read the first before this, though.

Hmmmm... well I'll be getting to this! ...Just once I've gotten home. :twilightsmile: And then... it begins!

Yay, the sequel. :pinkiehappy: Screw A levels, I've got reading to do.

Just one mistake I noticed: "He had Valiant had extra spaces for additional ", the first had should be and, great story though, I love Cupcake. :rainbowlaugh:

1793507 Oh god, I didn't even notice that. I'm a horrible person.

1793117
Oops! Good catch, thanks! :twilightblush: Edited! I was so hoping Cupcake would be received well. When I ran him by my pseudo-editor, she wouldn't stop laughing and had to walk away from the manuscript nearly in tears. I didn't know if that was a good reaction or not, but I guess it was! :pinkiehappy:

1792723
1793507
Oh goodness, you two made me laugh. I needed that. :rainbowlaugh:

I got the colt .45 joke

1797075
I love The Living Tombstone's music, and "September" may or may not have inspired some of this. You'll just have to wait and see. :raritywink: As for cover art, you're more than welcome to go ahead and draw what you'd like! Fan art is always appreciated!

I like fleet hog I want to draw him but what does he look like

Alright, time to guess loadouts!

(Primary, secondary)

* Suppressable

Fleethoof = M4* or G-36C*, Beretta*

Valiant = M-8* or PSD*, Beretta*

Lightning Flash = MP5 submachinegun*, Walther PPK*

Cupcake = Minigun, Colt.45

Blue Shield = Medkit, Beretta*

Sharp Shot = PSG-1*, Beretta*

Silver out!

Great story! The dialogue is good as ever, and I also like how you don't just dive into the plot right away.

Silver out!

Wow, this is really well done so far. It's gripping, suspenseful and gives you an eerie sense of dread for our heroes.

Keep this going!

Silver out!

1802476
Nope. The colors don't match Cupcake. That's Fleethoof. :twilightsmile:

1803887
I was wondering when someone was going to take a stab at their kits! You were close with a bunch, got the general gist of Fleethoof's, and hit Cupcake's on the head (though he was the easiest). Their weapons are as follows, relatively close to design and style:

Fleethoof: M4, Beretta 92A1 (Correct!)

Valiant: FN SCAR-H, Beretta 96A1

Lightning Flash: MP5, Walther P99

Cupcake: You were right! :yay:

Blue Shield: Medkit (if we're counting that), Sig Sauer P226

Sharp Shot: M110 SASS, HK USP

I'm thrilled that everyone is enjoying this so far! Oh, and if you think things are eerie and unsettling now, just wait until the villain(s) are introduced...

Villains eat your heart out Raul Menedez

I enjoyed meeting the new team... of course Cupcake makes me a bit nervous but I feel like his heart is the right place. :twilightsmile:
Of course one thing I might have liked was to see someone in the group hesitant to join because they were a little uncertain of what lines they might have to cross... but that's just me. :twilightsmile:

I did notice one thing though.

“There we are. Sergeant Valiant.”

...Now I could be wrong but I THINK that it needs to be “There we are, Sergeant Valiant.” I think it needs to be a comma... but I'm not the best with commas and stuff like that so I could be wrong.

Well I'm enjoying this story... a little worried for Fleethoof and him running around in a special opps group when he's injured the way he is... but I doubt I'd be able to stop him... of course... if I was to... 'accidentally' tell Candance about things... xD

Well I have to say I'm rather enjoying this and looking forward to more! Of course there were two things that stood out to me. This 1st was this:

But as time went on, the disappearance of Shining Armor.

The way it reads it kinda sounds like Shining Armor has been captured even though you make it clear latter on that this isn't the case so that might be something you want to clarify a little. :twilightsmile:

The second thing I noted was... well the spear. It would be fine to have a spear there if a reason for it being there was given. Either it's more for tradition/ceremony (like those things the guards who protect the English Queen wear... those are some crazy hats...) or some other reason... but I think a reason probably should be given hear because... well because we, the readers, are getting to see the awesome weapons our heros are getting. And of course in the pervious story the basic soldier had more advanced weapons. :twilightsmile: Soooo... either I missed something (totally possible) or I think you should really add a little clarification as to why the guard have spears. :twilightsmile:

Otherwise, I've found this to be an excellent beginning to the story.

1810912
So glad to hear back from you! Eh, it's the same thing that happened with The Griffon War. I'm not paying too much attention to it. :twilightsmile:

You are right with the comma, but it also works with a period. Since he's saying it as a declaration instead of addressing him, it's a period, or it could be a colon too.

Oh noooo! Don't tell Cadence! You'd have a very upset Pegasus after you. :rainbowlaugh:

In regards to the "traditional" weaponry as seen in the show, I did mention the armistice after the end of the war. There would be no need for the guards to be heavily armed around civilians and make them nervous when there was no open conflict. I do suppose I could reiterate the point of the armistice and the disarming of the Guard. I just never like spelling things out and spoon-feeding readers too much.

1811748 Oh it does work? Well there you go!

AND CANDANCE MUST KNOW! :pinkiecrazy:

And that does make sense to have the guard less heavily armed... however having a spear is behind where they were prior to the beginning of The Griffon War, and while it does make sense to scale back after all the war there's less of a need for such advance weapons however going back as far to the spear seems... a bit extreme.

I KNEW he was a defector! I called that!

Silver out!

1837376
"Originality is nothing but judicious imitation." --Voltaire

Just one thing I was thinking, you mentioned that the war changed everything, but according to Ron Perlman, "War, War never changes"

1840416
A good quote to use, but what it lacks is detail.

The principles of war never changes. As long as there are two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someone dead. But the execution of war changes, and the world changes in the aftermath of warfare. The War in Iraq is vastly different from the American Civil War, and WWI is entirely different from the European Crusades. The Cold War is an excellent example of how warfare changed, and how many various forms of combat and conflict there are. With every advancement in military technology, new strategies and ways to fight will be revealed. But we will still fight.

Principles will always remain the same: nations and ideologies will go to war, and people will die. But war will never be fought the same. War never changes - the way we wage war will.

At least that's how I interpret military history. :pinkiehappy:

“Do you think he made us?”

I'm thinking you mean "saw us" ...that was during the chase before it really became a chase.
One thing I was a little hesitant about was Fleethoof telling Shining so quickly about what he's doing. I think Shining prob should know and it's not really out of line for Fleethoof to give such a heads up but... it just felt like it happened a little quickly. :twilightsmile:

Also I'm really looking forward to learning more about this insurrection group! :twilightsmile: Of course I am worried about Fleethoof and his wing...

...Good work leaving me in the dark with this. I can't even predict anything right now.

Silver out!

1859141
That was my attempt at using code, but I think perhaps a change of words is probably best. :twilightblush: Shining will be better briefed later on, but when your friend suddenly shows up and asks for full cooperation on a citywide lockdown, it makes you wonder just what he's up too... :trixieshiftright:

1894923
The more lost you get, the more fun I can have messing with your mind. Enjoy the ride! :pinkiecrazy:

This is awesome. I started on the spinoff. I'm hope you like it.

Well I'm certainly intrigued.
I'm not a fan of the guy blowing his groups hideout... however it DOES work. 1) because it's been established that he really could care less about the people in his group, they're just pawns. 2) he's bucking insane and 3) He's just so full of hubris and hot air that you could fly a gun ship on him... so it does work... even if I am going "THEY ALL WAYS CAUSE THEIR OWN DOWNFALL!" ...they being the bad guys. But again... I believed it with you.

Of course our unicorn friend is so convinced that nothing can possibly stop his plan... the only thing that I can think of is either having bombs planted throughout the city or similar stuff... you know the saying: "close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades"? ...yeah I'm thinking he's got a lot of plans where close is good enough. Looking forward to seeing where this goes!

Great chapter! You did the plot really well here...I have an ominous feeling that's not all of the tricks you have in store. :duck:

Silver out!

Well done there. I knew the royal guard still had a hand to play when our mad pony said that Shining wasn't in the room.
Looking forward to the next update! And I'm also looking forward to seeing Cadance again! :twilightsmile:

Great work! The comedy is not overdone and flows with the story, and I really admired how well you described Saddle Arabia. We get to see it on screen here.

Silver out!

So just how much Farcry 3 did you play befor writing this chapter? So much Vass I love it

2006898
In all honesty, none! I don't even own the game - my brother does. When I was back with the family over the holidays, it was the only thing he would play. During that time, I was writing that chapter, and all I could hear in the background were these magnificent psychopathic lines, with the most beautiful voice to go with it. I knew I had to adapt it to work with my villain, and I'm so glad you got the reference and that it translated. :pinkiehappy:

Excellent chapter. Ominous feelings abound here. You write the scenery very well and I had to look up those Arabic phrases. Great on the accuracy of that.

Your world-building skills are amazing.

The lack of viewership is starting to tick me off though. Really people? Really? Show DQ some love here. :twilightangry2:

Also, looks like Equestrian citizens just might get the right to bear arms.

Silver out!

That song seems really sad. A great soundtrack song.

"You were better prepared than I for handling the situation, lord of war.”
Lord of war. He must have meant warlord. But Fleethoof liked that title better. "

Hell yeah! I loved that movie! Great reference! :twilightsmile::raritywink:

The writing itself here is amazing and you certainly deserve more credit and fame than you receive, and that's a FACT!

Silver out!

2051083
Between you and Treilacl, I always eagerly await to see what you two say :rainbowlaugh: Just thought I'd open with that little tidbit of information. :

All I can really think to say is thank you so much! I had to go through a few good resources to get the Arabic as close to right as I could. It also helped that I only used select phrases, and often I put the English equivalent right before or after to pseudo-aid the reader.

Ponies with guns. Is there anything more glorious/terrifying (pick your favorite)? Hmm, what could the song represent? Foreshadowing? Fate? I just don't know... :raritywink:

Yes! I'm so glad someone got the Lord of War reference! I loved that movie - but then again, I love all military-related Cold War and post-Cold War media. :twilightsmile:

The lack of viewership is starting to tick me off though. Really people? Really? Show DQ some love here. :twilightangry2:

The writing itself here is amazing and you certainly deserve more credit and fame than you receive, and that's a FACT!

DQ is now confirmed as my official nickname. Also, I should point out that I am not the DQ that serves tasty ice cream treats (sorry, everybody). You know I really appreciate all the continued support, my friend. :twilightsmile:

All I can think to reply with is a quote...
"Fame often makes a writer vain, but seldom makes him proud." --W. H. Auden

Fame and popularity would be nice, of course, but I'm having plenty of fun writing for the few people who appreciate my work now. I'm just happy to be writing again!

I really like this story. There are stories, and then there are stories. This is the latter. :moustache:

An excellent job as always DQ!!!!!! Your stories need to have more credit which they deserve :moustache:

All I can say is keep it up ^.^

I was going to wait until I got to the end of where you've finished writing before commenting but I've gotta say this now BEFORE I forget...

Cadence and Fleethoof are awesome... and then when you add the whole "let's play dress up with the Captain!" bit... ahhh I loved it! :rainbowlaugh: I was laughing there, a nice bit of humor to help break a little bit of the tension that's been building up. :twilightsmile:

Well I've finally caught up!
And I'm glad I did! This is a wonderful story and it's a joy to be able to come back and read it!!
I have to say I'm also enjoying the developing relationship between Cadance and Fleethoof... however I sense death's chilling fingers reaching for our Captain and that he might not make it to the end of the story. So I wonder how much longer we'll get to see the relationship finish with them... of course that fortune of whom Cadance would marry is rather deceiving... as they're meant to be! :twilightsheepish: After all Shining Armor meets the same criteria. :twilightsmile:

It's interesting though I have this sense of dread and high anticipation for what's to come. You've shown us that the train station is set to go off... which tells me that the plane was for the "assassination attempt" to fail. So it would put Skyfall at ease and they'd walk right into the trap. I'm really really really REALLY looking forward to seeing where this goes next!!

Fleethoof!

I like the song references. :rainbowdetermined2:

Amazing chapter. Not that I would have expected any less anyway. The fight scenes, imagery, and plot were fan-frickin'-tasic! The backstory was great, the emotion, everything!

This thriller was amazingly entertained and very well-written, thought-out and it is obvious how much effort was put in. I'll be waiting for what is left of it.

The ONLY little gripe I have...

Night Shade said everyone died in the Frozen North offensive.

Was that just his unit?

I say this because if I remember correctly, didn't Phalanx and Stratagem also participate in that campaign as well?

Now THAT would be a good sidestory or prequel. I might have even consider doing something with that idea, if I wasn't working on my own stuff.

Silver out!

2080373
Oh goodness, so much suspense everywhere! What's going to happen next?! Well, fear not, because the next chapter has just been released! :pinkiehappy:

Admiral Ackbar knows what's up. I laughed at that! :rainbowlaugh:

I really appreciate all the reviewing you do, and I'm glad it's been entertaining so far! It sets high standards for the rest of the series (I hope I can meet them :twilightoops:) and I'll be looking forward to your reviews on everything to come!

2087915
Much appreciated! I hoped it would speak a lot to Night Shade's state of mind.

2087964
And last, but certainly not least, we come to Silver! And thank you so much for the comments on the plot. It took a lot of thinking and reworking to try and get everything to flow together. Although not quite as action packed as The Griffon War, this one was more of a transition from flat-out combat to a more specialized, specific kind of conflict. I'm happy that didn't fall flat on its face. :twilightsheepish:

And trust me, the surprises aren't over yet.

Yes, the ponies that were sent on the mission were the ones who died. Captains Phalanx and Stratagem were the officers in charge of planning the operation and selecting the ponies for the unit. They didn't actually physically participate in the combat. They were more like the coaches standing on the sidelines.

I would be very interested to see somebody write a sidestory to this with The Frozen North Offensive. I've got only small details and snippets from it in Night Shade's flashbacks, but a good 85% of the story is left to interpretation. If anyone would be interested in covering that ever, I'd certainly let them have a stab at it. I think I might put a journal out about it once this is over. :pinkiehappy:

And to everyone, the story is almost done. Hang tight for the final chapter or two! The ride's not over yet!

-- DQ

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