• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 13th

Twifight Sparkill


• I'm one book short of a trashy paperback trilogy, written entirely in crayon. "Dense and vague, yet unimaginably interesting." - Regidar.

E
Source

• Having been elected a national hero for his antics in recovering the Crystal Heart, a modest Spike is now left wondering how it’s possible to accept all the sudden unflattering attention and fame he’s not completely convinced is so necessary – or terribly deserving, for that matter. WARNING: Contains copious amounts of material based upon Season Three's introductory episodes – previously edited by and dedicated to Martian, Bookplayer, theburningone94 & hunterz263, TheMyth, plus the kindly input of Not Worthy, Phazon and Bad Horse. Cover art created by author.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 260 )

Damn that was literary genius I wish I could write like that...:pinkiecrazy:

1597861 I agree. Looking forward to where this is going

That was adorable! I can't wait to read more. :ajsmug:

In Spike's defense. What have you done to make him field loved, Rarity? You use him as a tool and Twilight basically just bosses him around. He got to be the hero this time by pure luck.

Then again, as Ralph Waldo Haflinger once said: "A hero is no braver than an ordinary pony, but he is brave five minutes longer." Spike uses his time well.

Besides, this story has eight reads and 12 upturned thumbs, so clearly it's better than average.

Spike couldn’t help but fidget under Rarity’s attentions, the initially proposed minutes of alterations having turned into nearly a solid torturous hour of having to stand stock still upon an ornate pedestal in the center of her Boutique as she worked to fit his suit.

The first part of this sentence does not lead properly into the next part. I suggest either changing that comma into a semicolon or end the sentence with "attentions" and start a new one.

“Take your time Rarity,” he breathed

While "breathed" can be used as a speaking verb, I don't think you are using it the way it is meant to be used here. As a speaking verb, it means to speak softly/sensually.

The story actually seems to suffer from "said bookism." Too many out-of-place, and improper, speaking verbs, such as "hmphed," "bemoaned," "coughed," or "shushed." I understand that you can only say "said" so many times before you start to go insane, but it is a lot better than using too many awkward phrases in its place.

Overall, though, thumbs-up.

I do not believe you wrote this, because I read it through to the very end and I do not feel like you are making fun of my weak vocabulary. Of course, by that point I was getting heartache from the CRIPPLING FEELS. Twifight, you have done the impossible: this story has actually made me... Made me... Ffffffffffffff...

It made me actually like Rarity. What the hell, man. Just... what the hell?

I keep hitting the upvote button, but it will only let me do it once. :raritydespair:

Likely will get featured. Nice work. Following this. :pinkiehappy:

Wow... why is Rarity such a... well, let's just say it starts with a 'B' and rhymes with BITCH. It's called 'humility,' something she obviously doesn't know about!

Spike merely followed orders, quietly wondering when she'd be adequately appeased with all this insistent fussing

Is that... an ERROR?! I AM SHOCKED AND DISAPPOINTED MADAM!

jk jk :pinkiehappy: Even us grammar nazis make mistakes once in a while, right? Although, there is a nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me you indeed meant to type 'insistent' and not 'incessant.'

imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg

I'm glad to see this, quite frankly getting a new fic from you is quite the treat! You don't write often enough for my tastes... :trixieshiftleft:

Also... I love how Celestia praised Twilight on a job well done, but still had the stain glass window made for Spike and not her lol.... troll... :trollestia:

Hat

Want more, please go go go.

Soundly written! Of course, I expected it that way, but still. Quite good!

I'm not a fan of the pair, however... oh well, I'll get over it.

Also, I have not seen the first episode to season three. Maybe I should do that.

1602675 Your username is lovely.

Hat

1602802
Thank you. Yours has a certain ring to it as well :twilightsmile:

And to keep on the topic of the story, I suggest replacing the hyphens with em dashes.

AL

woooooooow :DDDD nice fic !!!1 more pleaseeee :yay:

It's about time Spike gets some kinda of recognition. He is a bit on the humble side, he calls himself The Number One Assistant with "assistant" being the key word. If he were a comic character, I'd compare him to Tim Drake(ironically): the 3rd Robin. Spike's either saved or attempted to save the day like 6 times.
_The Diamond Dogs and Rarity, he got his ass kicked and went and got help. The dogs would have gotten used to her "complaining" and turned on her eventually.
_Snips and Snails bringing the Ursa Minor to town, he tried to stop them or in the very least convince them that it was a stupid idea.
_Discord, he sent the letters back to Twilight at the risk of his own health.
_Twilight went went bat shit insane, he called in Celestia.
_Pee Wee, he saved the egg from being smashed.
_The Crystal Empire, he breaks Twilight out of her fear induced nightmare, he brings attention to the never ending stairs and almost gets killed getting the Crystal Heart to its rightful place.

I loved Rarity's rant against Spike's sense of self worth.

stustake.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Barney-Stinson-Thumbs-up-GIF.gif

Peace Out.

:twilightsmile: well, thats a good point, let's see how it ends for him

Twilight hatched Spike when she was a filly, which means that by now, he's probably into his late teen/young adult years by now. Considering that Spike's a Dragon, that would mean he ages differently from ponies. Just because he looks like a kid doesn't necessarily make him one. So Rarity saying that Spike shouldn't drink cider is incorrect if you ask me.

Besides, in the end of "Dragonquest" we saw a photo of Spike drinking cider, which means that he's old enough in pony years.

Must..have..more! Seriously, it's nice seeing some good Spike-centric stories. Faved an watched! :pinkiehappy:

A thought on pony-ages:
In Human Beings, there is 1 year in which our brain-cell production triples. Most of these synapses will die, but the most practiced of them will stay with us forever, determining who we will be when we are adults.
Sounds quite a bit like when we get our cutie-marks, right?
This particular age is 11 for girls and 12 for boys. That is to say, late elementary or early middle-school.

Of course, ponies are not human. We can adjust their maturation cycles back a bit, as actual ponies mature at 4 or 5 years old. So, if we say 9 for fillies, and 10 for stallions, and assume that Spike is as old as the CMC, then the Mane 6 are 18-20 years old, though developmentally they'd be 23-24 by human standards...
unless Spike is a prodigy in both mental and social circles, and is younger than the CMC, which is still possible. Very few egg-laying reptiles are good parents by mammalian standards, and so their young would have to be self-sufficient very quickly.

Add to this the Faustian Cannon that Celestia raised Spike herself, and that She and Twilight Sparkle are both huge influences on his life, it is possible that he's as much as 2 or 3 years younger than the CMC, which puts him at 6 or 7 years old, making the mane 6 15-17 years old.
If they are this age-range, then it helps to explain quite a bit about Equestrian society: the youthful exuberance of it's working population, the social naivety of business-savvy individuals, et c.
They are at once adult and childlike because their society treats their children differently than ours!

...

That was really a comment on someone else's comment, wasn't it.

....

Anyway, good fic thus far. I look forward to reading more of it later!

WOW! A slice of life story that has no shipping or adventure that makes no sense, don't get me wrong I love shipping spike and rarity the most but it is nice to see a believable slice of life story and is written so well.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZqqGatuwu4M/TaIyuYOHuwI/AAAAAAAAAI4/0Y0JXQpekcg/s1600/Patrick-+I+love+you.jpg

Also, did Rarity just confess that she DOES love Spike like he loves her?

1609199
I would like to agree to that notion :pinkiehappy:

1609199 & 1609356

Does Rarity love Spike in the same manner that he loves her? Okay, I'll assume you're both referring to this dialogue as proof, and I suppose it can lend to a bit of confusion:

“You!” she shrieked. “You, Spike! Have you no idea how much we need you and love you? You’re one of the most wonderful, most genuine spirits to have ever come into our lives! How could you belittle yourself so, especially to me? ..."

At the end of the episode “Secret To My Excess", Spike and Rarity are falling to their doom after the little dragon has a staggering recollection, overcoming the greed that was driving him to steal - and GROW LIKE A WEED. During that plummet, Spike moves to admit his ACTUAL feelings for Rarity, yet in grand theatrical style, the unicorn puts a hoof to his lips in shush and gives him a very knowing, very understanding look: that old-fashioned “you don't have to say it, as I already know - I've known for a long time“ sort of dated Hollywood romance moment. LOVED IT.

Also during "Green Isn't Your Color" from Season 1, Spike confesses his love for Rarity to Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie. Twilight's reaction was and remains along the line of “who DOESN'T know that already?" sort of disbelief - that establishes that everyone seems to INDEED in fact know this already, likely from Spike often seen skipping around behind her all doe-eyed, doting on her every pointless whim - the little floating hearts and "I HEART Rarity" t-shirt don't help his case either!

So, to keep along the lines of this apparent canon, during the heat of her emotion Rarity blurts out the “especially to me" bit to really emphasize to Spike that she and all of his friends love him and would be just as hurt to hear he believed otherwise, hm?

:twilightsmile: - I sure hope that helped!

1611128 Not the dialogue bit I was referring to, but alright.

How intriguing! I wish to read more, for tis an interesting read. Good work so far, can't wait to see where you go with this. I'd give you another thumbs up if I could.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!! Crystal Savior just got punk'd by his girlfriend.

Spike points out a ton of things about his value to the Elements that I've already considered. I probably would have written a story where he's torn up by his shortcomings, but what you have going is so much better. Rarity may have been a little over the top, but her rant was still awesome.

Now I'm just gonna sit here at my computer and wait for it to update. Refresh, nope ... Refresh, nope ... Refresh, nope...

1611909, 1613164, 1613646, & 1613837 -

I suppose this would officially mean that Twilight's Deadly Limerick is going to have to take a bit of a back seat for a while.

After seeing the first episode of MLP:FiM season three, I just HAD to get this story idea locked down and on this site - I knew it was a worthwhile story and something I'D want to read, so... having others feel the same is lovely! Though this first chapter/prologue is woefully short, the amount of enthusiasm I've received to continue it is just ... wonderful. Truly, I weep with joy, and shall immediately proceed with this instead of my other offering (which is fine, if you like a good laugh at the foibles of a particular adorkable unicorn).

I guess that means I should stop talking and go back to pacing events for chapter two? Yes, yes it totally does.

Thank you all so much! SO MUCH!

:raritycry: - I AM NOT EMOTIONAL!

1613859 Yer a picture of calmness and subtlety.

1613859 Emotional? Now who would think that?

If more enthusiasm means more continue, well count me in for setting something on fire in enthusiasm. Starting with the first person to thumbs down this story.

I love how Spike is questioning his place (to the point of having Rarity explode). Most other writers would be quick to just have him go the Rainbow Dash route and brag non-stop. But if one thinks about it, Spike's reaction in this story makes the most sense. Signs in the show points to Spike having the most tragic back story of the main characters. He has no family, no history, maybe no future: given how rare dragons are and how he's literally the only one of his kind, and he is at times out of place in this pony world. Spike has also never been as confident in things like the others. Really, the fact that the little guy trudges along with a smile on his face is a true testament to his character. :fluttershysad:


1605431 Spike is older than the CMC, or at the very least the same age. Look at The Cutie Mark Chronicles, Spike is just born in the flashbacks, yet none of the CMCs are around.

:moustache: Also you can't actually compare lifespans. We're dealing with magical ponies here. If you did try by our world standards than: A.J and Pinkie would have another 20 years, R.D and Fluttershy lifespan would be 500 and Twilight and Rarity would be 1000 years (maybe even longer).

Lovely story, surprised by the to be continued. What more is there? Looking forward to it. I kind of agreed with Spike, he really did just "fall into" saving a kingdom. Seems silly to glorify it. But it was about damn time that he got some spotlight!


1604981

Uh sorry, she hatched Spike around the ages of the CMC's. The cmcs were shortly born there after. I'm pretty damn, Spike is no older than a child. His design is of a "baby dragon" not a teenage dragon. Just a baby.

1617055 You forget that Dragons age differently than ponies. This is proven because like I said, in the end of Dragonquest, we saw a photo of Spike drinking cider with Dash and AJ.

In pony years, he's just about old enough.

1617086

Lol thats nonsensical reasoning.
A. We don't know that dragons age differently.
B. The cider being alcoholic is a fandom thing not canon.

All you really had to do is look at the design, I study animation so I know abit about this, the lack of neck, stuby hands are all signs of a "baby designed". He's meant to be a toddler/child. Not teenager. Why would a teenager have a baby design?

1624818

Hey you! Creature of few words - welcome to my lair! It smells a bit, but don't worry, I have Febreze.

Take all the time you need.

Tis good, Spike does have a point. Sometimes, it's just stepping up when the going gets tough and doing what is needed. However, that logic counters Spike's point, as the mane 6 are basically that out of a random universal selection (...basically it's random) of when they were created, they gained those personalities which led to them becoming the elements. They're really quite ordinary in a lot of respects (a bit on the upper spectrum but still; exception Dash's ego is too large though) the thing is they did what was needed of them based on the situation.

Heroes aren't created out of thin air, they exist because there is a need for them too, they became the elements to save their home. Without them (the elements), they're just another collection of zany personalities and traits in unique positions.

Beating Nightmare Moon (bonds of friendship and being able to match the challenges based on personality but ultimately beating her...complete luck led by Twilight's instincts and mind), beating Discord (if Twilight had gone anywhere else and not seen those messages in time, they would have lost, luck again), beating Chrysalis (...they didn't the, Hasbro Prince and Princess did), beating Sombra (...no need to explain). Looking at it objectively it really is being in the right place at the right moment with the right individuals.

The main thing I love about this fic is the expansion on Spike's fame and its consequences, now Equestria gets another hero/celebrity named
Spike, Hero of the Crystal Empire, why? Because just as people (read as ponies if you wish) want to believe there are monsters they also want to believe that there are heroes, extraordinary individuals who possess something the rest of the populace doesn't that makes them special. It's a kinda alleviation of responsibility for the public, they believe they're not able to do that but there exists someone or someones who do.

This usually means the responsibility falls to: the police, regular guards, then the Royal Guard, then the heroes of the people (Elements etc.). They can handle it (supposedly). Also gives something for the regular populace to strive for a shining image of perfection and virtue etc to try to emulate. Shattering that image is damaging to morale of the public, that the hero/celebrity is just as flawed and has as many normal problems as they do, they just put those problems on hold when necessary but they come back once the need is gone.

I do enjoy your treatment of this subject author, whether my mini-mini analysis on it is flawed or not (of course it is, it's subjective after all), I look forward to your installments of Spike's slice of fame. Cheers, Love it!

1626311

Wow. I think your analysis read better than my story!

I completely agree with the whole "timing" thing, as well as the need for heroes. Though in most aspects (saving that Twilight is a bit Mary Sue-ish and Fluttershy is... um, very shy) the Mane 6 are a group of fairly common mares, they're not deterred by fame. In the cases of RD and Rarity herself, they relish it.

Spike is just... how do I put it? Happy with the order of things? He might be a bit self-deprecating, but the lifestyle is certainly pleasing for him.

Thanks very much for the read, and here's hoping that season 3 continues to inspire us all!

... I love these technicolor donkeys!

1627798

the Mane 6 are a group of fairly common mares

Which is a major selling point, really: were they Amazingly Extraordinary Ponies, it would be harder for the audience, be they girls of six or guys of sixteen or whatever, to relate to them. Our Lady Faust (blessings upon her) thought this out rather well, giving us characters who do one or two things fairly well -- and several things fairly badly.

1625366
Lay off the Febreze. The smell is alright.

Awesome. Why wasn't I informed of this story's existence, it was brilliant.

1634425

Thank you, Wrath. I'm lost in an uncomfortable sea of ridiculous emotions, and you said EXACTLY what I needed to hear before a shitty night at work.

You are awesome.

1617120

This would make far more sense if they treated him like a child more often in the show, instead of giving him a job, having him hang out solely with the mane 6, and leaving him by himself overnight on multiple occasions. Certainly, she hatched him, probably, slightly younger than the CMC who seem to be about 7 or 8, if the mane 6 are in their 20s, that put Spike in his mid to late teens. Plus, even if all of that is not true, and as vague age is very much a thing it may well be, at the very least he's been a teenager since Secret of My Excess. He's designed to look like a child because he lives with ponies who are rather rightfully terrified of dragons to the point they have no real knowledge of them.

Onto the story itself, I really like the way you characterize Spike. Much, if not all, of how he sees himself is wrapped up in the concept of him being as assistant. Helping ponies out is thing and it is a very comfortable niche for a guy who recently found out that wanting things can turn him into a giant, rampaging beast. I also enjoyed how you made it clear that the mane 6 are his friends, something that is oftentimes ignored. Looking forward to seeing where this is going.

1681047

I'm pleased that you've enjoyed this so far candrew, especially as it would seem you and I feel very similarly about Spike and his particular position for circumstances he can and cannot control.

Since it's unlikely he'll ever receive any canon accolades for risking life and limb for a cause he only barely understood, I felt obliged to at least try and honor him rightfully. If you've any suggestions or reassertions for this effort, I'm always pleased to receive a helpful PM - the offer stands for anyone, of course.

Cheers!

how much longer do we have to wait for an update

1696571 & 1696584 -

Oh right. I've only had one chapter posted!

Everything is almost finished! I'm so excited! I just have to make my pre-reader happy, and this puppy is updated! WOO.

... it better be awesome, or I'll kill everyone on my staff.

1696662 You have more than one chapter done? Cool! :raritystarry:

Wait . . .

" . . . it better be awesome, or I'll KILL EVERYONE on my staff.

Huh? *Looks at profile pic* What the-?

*Skims profile page*

P-please don't die Spike. :applecry:

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