• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 13th

Twifight Sparkill

• I'm one book short of a trashy paperback trilogy, written entirely in crayon. "Dense and vague, yet unimaginably interesting." - Regidar.


• Ponies change as invariably and inevitably as the seasons. So do the opinions that matter most to them, whether they know it or not. Winner of the November Weird Wednesdays competition, previously hosted by the Cockroach Club. Listed as story #7786 on Singularity Dream's BIG MASTER REVIEW LIST.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 41 )

This was a genius example of literary masterwork. (Or perhaps it is the drugs I took earlier) bu either way, this was miracules.

It clearly showed that Apple Jack is not best pone and that Twilight is. Truly exellent

zel #2 · Nov 7th, 2012 · · ·

The ending needs more cowbell. :moustache:

this was fucking amazing, too bad I couldn't help :fluttershysad:. I probably would of made the grammar, spelling, and what ever the hell you wanted help with worse then it was in its original form, somehow. So I guess its for the best.

Excellent, I love the interaction between your characters. And that cousin thing was hilarious

1579159, 1579742, and 1580215

Thank you all, you're obviously very intelligent and lovely people.


Blue Oyster Cult loves you - me, I'm still on the fence.


This story taught me that it is possible to both favorite and downvote something at the same time.


I'm not entirely sure what I just read.

Sweet goodness that was a fantastic read. Your word choice was superb! I don't think I can even begin to describe my feelings towards this.

Okay... Seriously...


I started, and was immediately impressed with the thought you'd put into your wording.
I continued, and became worried as I thought Applejack was having a heart attack, or something similarly life-threatening.
I continued some more, only to become extremely confused by the turn of events.
I finished, and sat for a second staring numbly at the screen.

In short: lolwut?

This was a great story! The vocabulary, prose and grammar were perfect, but... that ending — I mean, what? It was, at first, a slice of life story. Applejack, obviously not feeling herself, decided to pay Twilight a visit. This oddly ends with Twilight's arousal and Spike offering lemonade. Did I miss something here? Seriously, though, this is fantastic writing. Keep it up! :twilightsmile:

That was a thing. I read it.

I laughed, I cried, I lost ten pounds!

-Stephen Colbert

Literary masterpiece, 10/10 would read again.

I probably missed something, but maybe it's just me. Keep it up... question, what really happened here? Twi apparently finds AJ atractive... not that she isn't, she is quite cute actually:ajsmug:... i think i might be rambling... I'll shut up now.

Glad I decided to look at the front page today.


If you are, by any chance, Josh Scorcher, the real thing, I have to thank you for bringing me into this community. :ajsleepy:

And sorry if I sound like a sick fanboy or a crazy fag. :ajsleepy:


Oh nononono.

It's always nice to meet a fan.

If ever there's a demand for Worst Pony -- but no, never mind, let's not go there. Forget I ever mentioned it.


Lol but srsly, I laughed my ass off :rainbowlaugh:

"Or maybe you've only now just realized that first cousins can't legally marry in Equestria?"
Why is Twilight such a bitch? lol. Love Spike though, I bet he feels like that all the time, 'I should just burn down the library right now for spite... nah just cleaned up'

Never thought you would wind up here on Fimfiction. I thought you would stay only in F.O.B. Equestria and Equestria Daily . Everything's fine there in F.O.B. I presume?

Anyway is very good to be able talk with you, even knowing that I can't turn the comments section of a random guy story into a chat room. :rainbowlaugh:

I looking forward to read your works by the way. :raritywink:

Ah love yer Applejack impression.
Spot on-!! :pinkiehappy:

Well, it's not like I can Unread...and that skill would be better spent on different stories.

Interesting, but neutral on the good/bad axis.

I dun get it.

This may be the best-written Troll Fic I've ever seen.


You made the entire process worthwhile.

1589971, 1589992, 1590075, 1590203, 1590503, and 1590659 -

Thank you so very much. I'm not proud of this ugly bastard child, as there were stories it was pitted against that in my opinion were superior, but it served it's purpose well. I appreciate your time to comment, and hope that you'll forgive the stunted and strange tend the story took - it was all by design, and got me a good standing in a writing contest that shall be explained later. Gods, later.


I love you. I have never attempted a story like this, and between you and Cornjob, you made me happier than... pigs and dung? What's the saying? ANYWAY. You're amazing for going through that and leaving a comment, and it's very appreciated.

Thanks to everyone who posted a comment and/or thumbed - I am absolutely astounded and alight in girlish glee! To be fair, my girlish glee is a pack of cigarettes and a night of watching anime, so... well, it's something.

*glares at screen*

Wow. Ah'm dumb.
I was just about to make a joke about where's the "lemonade." But the freakin' last sentence... *smacks own head*
Meh, I like both fics. :ajsmug:

Don't worry, Applejack. I still think that you're best pony.


Hey, thank you for mentioning Applejack's accent too BTW - took ages to get that half right. It took way too much effort, but it's worth it for the BEST PONY!

:ajsmug: - Y'got that right!

My brain. It is full of fuck. Yet it's a delightful kind of fuck, so I shall impart an upwards thumb upon you.

I'm not gonna lie, I didn't finish reading it. I bet its funny as hell, but my brains too tired from a night of reading other fics, to process your excellent word choice. I will thumb up this and fave it for another time though

Beautiful prose, but I feel it deserves a better story that actually goes somewhere.

Yeah, I'm with Spike on this one. Both ponies treat him like crap and Twilight thinks of inviting AJ's brother to the threesome before him. Hope they enjoy their lemonade. :pinkiecrazy: The loss of Best Pony status is something Spike will never experience.


Quite right, quite right.

Spike will always be best pony in my heart.



I always wished since that Appreciation event that it would spark some more AJ fiction. Shame I had very little window of opportunity to get the AJ Fic-appreciation section off the ground xD

Will read, since I really fell for this picture first time it came in! <333

...So I ask myself, "what in the hell did I just read?" The answer, of course, is genius. Strange, rambling, random, brain-scrambling genius. I don't know what amused me more... Spike being a closet sociopath, Twi being a great big horn-dog (AJ and her brother, Twi? Kinky.) or just the general lunacy of it all. In all seriousness, it's really hard to pull of this kind of humor, especially in print. You made it look pretty effortless, despite the very elaborate prose.

Martian recommended you, and clearly he has excellent taste. Will definitely be reading more from you in the future!

I'm trying to comprehend what I just read, but I just can't make any sense of this mindfuckery. I mean, Twilight has a poor sense of taste; that I understand, but... When was Applejack ever [the] best pony?

Nice to see a comedy fic that doesn't rely on overused jokes and cheap comedy, but instead has some unusual humour to offer.
Well done, although I don't really like Spike's way of taking revenge.
2005830 All the time, you just never noticed. :ajsmug:

Author Interviewer


Of course, where this story falls down is in its main conceit. Applejack has never been best pony. :V

Applejack is always best pony to me. :ajsmug:

You've effectively defied my expectations with this one.


I hope that's a good thing.

Back when this group contest was a humongous deal, I was brand new to The Cockroach Club and really wanted to make an impression. Now I read this story and wonder, "what if I'd actually made this a story as opposed to ... whatever this is?"

Then I make a cup of tea, sigh wistfully, and contemplate how it all went so horribly wrong.

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