• Member Since 31st Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen May 9th, 2018



Twilight told her friends of her adventures in the Human world, but she didn't tell them everything. One dark secret haunts her still.

Hamburgers are delicious.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 449 )

A little simplistic in story structure, but well written and very entertaining to read. We always knew there were going to be consequences from Twilight's visit to the alternate reality, we just never expected those consequences to so readily be picked up by the others.

Only thing is that wasn't a hamburger Twilight was eating. It was a steak and cheese sandwich.

This is glorious. Just glorious.
I nearly died at the beginning when Spike had that 'flashback'. :rainbowlaugh:
Now anytime I see Twilight and Spike in the same shot I'll laugh psychotically, (regardless of whether someone else is present or not,) and think of the good time I had reading this.

Yeeeah, I'm admittedly not a good writer. :twilightblush:
Not sure if it's a practice thing or if I just don't have the writers' touch... oh well.

Hey funny stuff!!! But what was with the BZZZZZ noise?


Twilight was raising Parasprites.

Yeah... that's what she was doing.... :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

Shocking! Horrifying! Scandalous! :rainbowlaugh:

Burgers are delicious. I think I will go have one for lunch.

Twilight, you have created a monster.

Man, I'm so fucking hungry now! I need a fucking god damn burger, NAO!

Quoteing the author's note:

"For the record?

I'm no vegetarian. I love burgers. :D"

I could tell from your description of cooking and eating the meat.
You were either a meat eater that experienced it themselves or a vegetarian that put a lot more effort than what normally goes into a fan fiction into studying the sensation.

Mmm... Burger. See, Fluttershy? We love animals too!

We love them in our bellies.

Urgh, that made me feel hungry and nauseous. :pinkiesick:
You can take that as a compliment, if you wish.

"It... it's so tasty.... this... this is what happiness tastes like...!"

No. Tangerines taste like happiness. Meat does not.

This is hilarious imagine a ton of ponies fighting for a hamburger in the 1st hamburger war:flutterrage:

3281073 Uhm... I have only slight hunches what you're talking about.
Cupcakes? Not on purpose.
Tangerines and happiness because "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"? Seems a bit far fetched.

:twilightsmile: : Hey Fluttershy, I've noticed that you have less animals running aroung your house...
:fluttershysad: : Yes... They must be tired... Really tired...

And now for a bit of fridge horror!
Remember, in Equestria cows are as sentient as you or I.:pinkiesick:

And then Fluttershy founded PETA. Ponies Eating Tasty Animals. :fluttershbad: (well, in her defense, she does feed fish to otters...)

3281032 unless it's bacon.

Als I am wondeng if perhaps this was inspired by a certain youtube video.

3281177 Oh god, that was horrible. I laughed.

3281188 Might taste good, but still not like happiness. Happiness is *sweet*, for crying out loud! Why isn't that obvious to any of you? :raritydespair:
I'm having too much fun with this kind of stupidity...


Eggplant tastes like eggplant, but meat tastes like murder, and murder tastes pretty goddamn good.

-- Denis Leary

"It... it's so tasty.... this... this is what happiness tastes like...!"

If you think that is good try throwing some bacon on that bitch.


Honestly, I could see Fluttershy being okay with eating meat, seeing as many of her animal friends are carnivores.

Ho. Ly. CRAP. That was absolutely screwy. I always thought that griffins ate meat and ponies didn't... But I also thought that meat was kinda like peasant food... Something that homeless Trixie would eat. :applejackunsure: I don't know. Great story, anyway. :twilightsmile:

So hungry now.........

Wow, the ending put a rather... dark twist on this. I can only see the number of meat-eating ponies in Equestria rising from there.

hey all you ponies
hey all you ponies
hey all you ponies wont you listen to meeeeeee!
i just had a sandwich
it's no ordinary sandwich
it's a sandwich made with Applejack's farm animalllllllssss!

hey... man... you've... got to try this sandwich
its no ordinary sandwich
its the tastiest sandwich in the woorrrllldddd

ascoobididoolabdooiladdabyabbity ya YEAHHHHHHH!

thank you

3281378 oh great now you reminded me of burger kings xl double bacon cheese burgers with super sized fries and coke

Deadly Equines, The Shocking True Story of Meat-Eating & Murderous Horses by CuChullaine O'Reilly, the Founder of the Long Riders' Guild explores the fact that horses can and do eat meat (and can appear to behave in quite a violent manner to get it). However, that they can and do eat meat does not mean that they should. A horse may be trained to eat meat, or it may be driven to it by need. This doesn’t mean that a regular diet of meat in the long-term is a good thing. Your horse may like an occasional bite of your hamburger or salmon sandwich and can eat it without harm. However, since we don’t know the long-term effects on most horses, a diet high in meat would be inadvisable (along with expensive). Horses have the teeth and digestive system of a highly specialized herbivore. Few of us are going to take our horses on Antarctic expeditions and our horses will likely be healthiest eating the diet their digestive system evolved to digest.

This is actually very well done for a short, comedic story.

the only real disturbing part of this is that I can SO see this going 'Cupcakes':facehoof: and that colts and fillies is why you watch your back around the quiet and timid ones:twilightoops: and no one would even THINK to look in Fluttershy's basement for a micro meat processing plant setup

nice story:pinkiecrazy:

'Twilight? Twilight, Rarity is at the door and she needs--'

Wat you doin

I assume the Bzzzz to be a razor, so shaving obviously. And the fact that Spike was extremely grossed out by it means she was shaving...

I'm just gonna leave this cat here images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120809005542/mlp/images/e/e1/Opalescence_id_S1E14.png

Hilarious story though, and even sad at times. Nice work! :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by kodyap1293 deleted Sep 30th, 2013


Razor? Pffft:trollestia: She was probably 'experimenting' with the quality of 'reproductive equipment':trollestia::moustache::eeyup::ajsmug::raritywink:

Oh my gosh, that ending. This is just too awesome for words. :moustache:

3281785 Yeah, I thought that too. Also, that's a really cute picture of a pussy.

Wow. That simple story had so much depth. :3
Thank you!! Thank you so much for sharing!

"now you behave yourself angle or you have to spend some time on the grill."

I'm quite sure Fluttershy would be the most ok with this. In the comic she was fascinated watching animals fight over who gets to eat the 6 of them. And she wouldn't have to take Twilight's meat, she must have plenty of her own to feed her carnivorous animal friends.

That was a lot of fun. Poor Twilight, having to go through that worry and guilt only for Fluttershy to take up the craving. I doubt Fluttershy will share any of that beef with her, unless she comes to rely on Twilight ordering more. They can begin an underground meat-eating club. Thank you for such an amusing story!

I wouldn't expect Twilight to know the finer parts of cooking meat dishes. :twilightsheepish:

Um what comic are you referring to and what do you mean by 'the 6 of them'? Do you literally mean that she was trying to feed herself and her friends to one of her animals?


Definitely an interesting concept. Sort of like the zombie apocalypse, only instead of mangled dead ponies wandering the countryside and moaning "brains!" you've got live ponies yelling "hamburger" and "steak" and various other dishes.

Comment posted by Lag Incarnate deleted Sep 30th, 2013

I want to post a video of Squidward's first Krabby Patty, but I can't find a good video.

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