• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 13th

Twifight Sparkill


• I'm one book short of a trashy paperback trilogy, written entirely in crayon. "Dense and vague, yet unimaginably interesting." - Regidar.

E

• Despite being high-spirited and brimming with unyielding confidence, most Ponyville residents consider Rainbow Dash to be a careless and lackadaisical pegasus. However, despite all the evidence to the contrary, this reputation may be unfounded. Based on the Season One canon. Dedicated ultimately to Phazon, recognized for his kindness, continued support, and getting this short story recommended by the famed Seattle's Angels. Check out The Living Library Player Society's amazing audio performance of this complicated piece! Listed as story #7785 on Singularity Dream's BIG MASTER REVIEW LIST.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 85 )

I liked reading it! :pinkiehappy:

I think I learnt something reading this. I'm just not sure what. Big words, big words everywhere. :applejackconfused:
Either way, you successfully justified the one link I had to Rainbow Dash, her laziness. Curse you. :fluttercry:
Great job! :moustache:

957535, 957548

Hello! Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting on the second story I've ever written - sadly, I am left feeling I have a lot to learn about writing, ugh.

I really appreciate the encouraging words, I really do! I think I'll stick to silly pony stories though. I don't think I'm cut out for... this. You know? I tried though! That's what counts!

:rainbowhuh: - Now that I think about it, I guess I am pretty lazy.

957733 If the story was good, then I think you do have talent. Keep it up!

957733
Echoing voidless' comment, I think it was good! :rainbowkiss: Rather unique as well, the show chooses not to touch on the fact that while she may be the most athletic of the group, she is also the laziest, two polar opposites. You explained it well, and if the writers needed an explanation to it, I have no doubt they'd go down this route. Still, you should write what you enjoy, it turns out better for both the readers and the author. But practise is practise, so this story might have helped you in the long run. :pinkiehappy:

Look at me, trying to give advice. I've never done that. :applejackunsure:

957758, 957860

You two make me very happy. Thank you.

:pinkiehappy: - Makes a girl wanna cry! Oh wait, that's my hangover! Word to the wise guys, never drink and write. Once you get behind the keyboard, LIVES ARE AT STAKE! Always use a designated typist! Remember - DON'T DRINK AND PUBLISH!

Seriously though, way humbled and flattered! YAY! MADE MY DAY!

This was good! Kinda reminds me of myself in some ways... Certainly explains why she's sleeping all the time. It's funny though, using such an advanced vocabulary to describe Dash. Not to say that she's stupid, just thats she's a little more...

*equips sunglasses*

Down to earth...

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An interesting piece of descriptive verse. Certainly, the tones and mood of freedom aren't lost on the bulk of the work. You've managed to capture a rather good interpretation of the duology of Dash's nature. The split between illustration and exegesis was well balanced, I felt, and it's really nothing more than a good photograph of scenery wrapped around a loose idea - which is what all good fiction should be.

My only complaint would be that Pinkie's dialogue didn't seem to be something I could hear her say, but that is nitpicking to extreme levels. Otherwise, keep it up!

960650

Thanks so much for reading and liking my stories! Leaving comments really means a lot to me. You're awesome, Red. I see you reading alot of the stories I like, so this means EVEN MORE to me, as you've got great taste! Check out two great stories I think you'd like - Austraeoh and On the Edge of a Cliff. Also that joke was terrible. See you around!

960722

Hey KitsuneRisu! Wow, it's ages now since we talked. Thanks for coming by! I have to disagree with you on Pinkie - and I hate to, seeing as we're practically sisters you & me - I think she's perfectly annoying as she is. You're such a crazy Pinkie fan! Sigh! So amusing. Be well, girlfriend!

:pinkiehappy: - U MAD?

960808

Yes, well, I do so love the Pinkie. She makes my ovaries twitch.

:pinkiegasp:

960987

I suddenly don't miss you as much.

This was genuinely fun. And I plan to rely on some variation of it next time somepony accuses me of being indolent.

961044

Thank you, Dusty! I'd lost faith in writing a serious story really, now... now I'm so happy! YEE!

:pinkiesmile: - Comedy still rules though!

Pretty good. I'll be waiting for more from you.

Ah, just completing this story made me feel more intelligent heh. Though i can't shake the feeling something is missing, as if more could be added, nonetheless it was a good read and i enjoyed it to the end. Once again good work.

1061516

You're right, of course.

I admit that when I jumped on ideas during my first stories, they were barely thought out - i'd literally just sit and write whatever craziness came to mind. I've since been taught, by a very good friend, that I should slow down and perhaps consider the most important question most ask of a story - WHY? As in, this exists and is of importance because of..? WELL!?

I appreciate your reading and liking my silly word marathons. You're good stuff. Charitable to a fault! Cheers!

It has so many words I can barely remember the definition of!

It's BRILLIANT!

1079262

Another satisfied customer!

I made most of those words up, eh. Lazy, lazy me.

Why does this appear in my "not-read" section every once in a while? Have you been changing something?

1119513

I was forced to do a major re-edit for having the entirety dissected, then I changed the title and foreword - does that affect anything? I have friends I watch that've done more & I've never had any notification! How is that fair? How come YOU'RE so special!?

If you read this a while back, perhaps it's worth a redo for my having comrades that're willing to offer brilliant suggestions - out of what I've dared to show, this remains the work I'm most proud of. If it's causing you grief, I'm so sorry! I don't know how to write!

Please, accept whatever apologies required - I'M A BAD PERSON.

:pinkiehappy: - ... in a good way, AMIRIGHT?

1120176

Oh, it's not causing me grief at all, I was just curious. In fact, now that I know it has been edited, I'm gonna give it another read :pinkiehappy:

1124961

Well that's awesome, because for KitsuneRisu it's vastly improved.

Whew!

The weirdest thing is i'll get messages from writers who've changed their stories' titles, and i'll have no idea what I read in the past - then I check, reread, and voila!

Yet i've been told by several readers that my stuff continually jumps in their lists - WHY!? Am I that special? NO.

Such a weird world.

Nicely done! Poor Rainbow Dash. She needs to open up to her friends more often.

1204540

I appreciate your candid opinion, and... I'm very sorry we had to meet for negative circumstances.

Thanks for being openly honest. I really am grateful for it.

1204552
Oh, speaking of honest, I noticed this more in your first fic, but also once or twice in this one: Just because spellcheck says it's okay doesn't necessarily mean it is. In your first fic, you used "he" once to refer to Twilight. I'll leave it to you to find out where :trollestia:

1204571

I saw where you'd noticed the "he" in A Bad Decision - I was clumsily referring to Spike in regards to Applejack's arrival amidst the second or third paragraph - but I'm lost in this fic. Where did I use the wrong pronoun? PLEASE TELL ME!

:raritycry:

1204660
Oh, it wasn't necessarily a pronoun in this one, just noticing the sort of things that spellcheck can't. I honestly forgot what it was now, sorry :applejackunsure: in any case, it wasn't a big deal, and would probably be overlooked entirely by most people.

1204696

Hm. I've reread it three times now to no avail - I am my own editor, sadly. I simply can't find the mistake. At least we tried, hm?

Pfft! That was funneh!!:rainbowlaugh: You always give me a good laugh, chuckle, giggle, or otherwise any way of expressing happiness and/or amusement. Nice job!:raritywink:

This story, I am completely floored, this is one of the most remarkable things I have read in a long while:ajsmug:

Comment posted by Nasty Mister Monket deleted Feb 6th, 2014

I like this story. It truly deserves its dark tag.

Wow her friends are asses for not realising how hard she works :twilightangry2:

What? I didn't comment on this the first time I read it? Bad horse.
I didn't read it as "mental illness". Is that why it has the dark tag? I could read it as "there's a fine line between passion and mental illness". But mostly I felt the passion.
Also, we both got a story in the same review post! That means our destinies are tied. I am afraid. Please be gentle. :fluttershyouch:

1890400

Thank you so much! You made me cry - usually that's reserved for bad things, but in this case it was wonderful. I truly appreciate it.

1894133

... you have two accounts?

:rainbowderp:

1897261 I don't use "Shagbark" anymore, but that was what I used at first.
I'm thinking about the "dark" tag on this story. Maybe it says something about me that I didn't read it as dark the first time.

This is the definition of forced ideals. You have in this sense provided an explanation--and not without just reward. Excellent.

I can't think of the words to appropriately describe this, so instead I'll just say I liked it, and leave it at that.

1894133 I think it's past the point of passion and more along the lines of an obsession or a compulsion. That and the premise that she might be wrecking her body by crashing into stuff and pushing past her physical limits so much might justify the Dark tag.

On another note, I'm glad this got featured by Seattle's Angels. I think I first saw this story on the front page a month ago when I was procrast- taking a break from studying for a final I had that morning, and I wound up liking it.

1900805

You nailed it - this was totally a dark tag idea wrapped in an "Oh, Rainbow Dash is so lazy!" ideal. Goodness knows I struggled with how it should have been presented, but I'm glad the dark tag is getting some recognition. Very astute - good work.

This story was actually published mid-September and during the update had its title accented, sending it somehow to the top of my story pile. Do I mind? Heck no! I love this wordy little jaunt! Makes me happy every time I see it! Juicy enough to be interesting, yet small enough in portion to be quickly satisfying.

Sounds a bit like Regidar.

Whom I LOVE.

1903138 Believe it or not, this story's release date actually had me confused for a while. It took me about three days to notice that some of the older comments were about 15-20 weeks old. That might not sound relevant at first, but when I realized that this story had been here for a few months (as opposed to a few days) and was still sitting at a few hundred views...

Long story short, I'm the one who recommended this to Seattle's Angels. You can actually see that on their fic recommendation thread (comment ninety-something). Whether or not what I posted on that comment does this story any justice is debatable, but in the end, your story got some time in the spotlight and I have a 16-bit version of your story's cover image, so I think everyone's a bit happy with the end result.

1903534

Wow. I... really don't know what to say, Phazon. Thank you seems sort of anemic considering, but... well! THANK YOU from the BOTTOM OF MY HEART for liking this story enough to recommend it, but mostly for liking it - I am touched, and though the scope of our language allows us a myriad of ways to communicate, sometimes the simplest and obvious gestures suffice:

HUGS!

:pinkiehappy:

1905927 Aw, hey, don't mention it. :twilightsmile: I just really liked this story and thought it had gotten less attention than it deserved. I haven't actually read any of your other stories yet, but I think that's something I'll get around to sooner or later. Feel no need to look at mine, though. One of them is just an OC story, another one's a sequel to that OC story, another one is a ponified version of a 3DS game that was released about a year ago, and the fourth one is something that I may or may not end up cancelling (depends on what I decide to do with it when I finally look back at it again).

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Having looked back over the Angels' review of this story, I'm going to have to disagree with them. There's nothing mind-blowing about it; it all makes perfect sense and thus makes me question why it needed to be written. Certainly, the purpleness of the prose, not to mention the nouning of a couple verbs (require, deny), don't seem to serve any purpose. If the caveat had been "Rainbow Dash is extremely smart and just has a hard time expressing herself," there might have been something more to this. The only thing that caught me was the line about her being afraid of her true loyalties. That was insightful; the rest bordered on incomprehensible.

1899668

Fangirling moment - bear with me: OMFG LunaUsesCaps read my stuff! WOO!

... very embarrassing, yet necessary and satisfying.

As far as this little introspection goes, I'm sort of poisoned by presentperfect's somewhat scathing opinion - he's certainly not wrong. However, for a bit of instant gratification it exists and I'm proud of it and I've had more positive than negative feedback, so... mm. I am apparently fixating. Silly of me! I mean, this had to be recommended to even qualify for Seattle's Angels, um... yeah.

I'm still totally fangirling. Thanks LUC!

:pinkiehappy:

1912146

I mean, this had to be recommended to even qualify for Seattle's Angels,

Not necessarily, except in the respect that they might not have found your story if it was never recommended. In fact, out of the 27 stories they've featured so far, I think only six of them were taken from their recommendation thread, and they've had dozens on fics recommended to them. In a small way, I'm almost as fortunate that they agreed with my recommendation as you are for getting featured.

1912339

Nevertheless, I am strictly attuned to it all being due your malfeasance - YOU WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PERSON!

C'mon, seriously... it's an 1,800 word essay on what could be considered obvious. Whether my first serious stab at an actual story or no, the fact that it's getting a second glance makes me SO HAPPY.

Let's hope I can at least live up to it all. NO PRESSURE.

:raritycry: - WAH!

It's okay. The prose falls flat with some grammatical errors, though, and it just makes me feel like someone's just trying to sound smart.

2017696

Very valid, the part about someone trying to sound "smart".

I was vainly attempting to create the feeling that Dash herself was quite eloquent and thougtful, akin to perhaps some manner of unanticipated genius.

Sadly, I possess NONE of those qualities myself. It's not Dash's fault; I let her down with poor grammar and abundant abuse of the language throughout.

At least you gave it a read and had the decency to comment. I really appreciate that.

:pinkiehappy: - Thank you! WOO!

:rainbowhuh: - What the heck is grammar!?

:facehoof: - ... I have no idea, apparently. However, if you need any verbs nouning or whatever, apparently I'm your mare.

:pinkiesmile: - You're silly, Twi.

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