• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 13th

Twifight Sparkill


• I'm one book short of a trashy paperback trilogy, written entirely in crayon. "Dense and vague, yet unimaginably interesting." - Regidar.

T

• Twilight and her friends, much to everyone's dismay, discover that some books shouldn't be read – ever. Despite being a resolute student of the written word, even the most committed bibliophile can lose their way when confronted with the truest of evils. My first attempt at a story, and like my best work ever - ultimately the direct fault of KitsuneRisu, who shall forever be the reason I ever wrote, and sadly the reason why I gave up.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 58 )

Why, Twilight, why!? :fluttershbad:

Awesome. That's exactly how I think.

Wat. Good... but... wat.

Oh God... I enjoyed this story so much - everyone was in character, you can write well, and it was building up to a great climax but: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PUNCHLINE!
Oh well. Keep at it, you're a good writer - bear in mind that I'm English, so that's probably why the last line went over my head.
Imma give you an Applejack. :ajsmug:

At first I was like, :ajbemused:, but then I was like :rainbowlaugh:!

A STORY BY TWIFIGHT SPARKILL!?!

(gasps!)

and all I have to say now is-

politics.

Twilight knows that's some scary stuff right there.

Soundly written, though the ending may have been a bit harsh. I upvoted 'cuz I liked it.

I was expecting 50 Shades of Grey, but George Bush is pretty good too.

Okay, I laughed. The punch line is kinda dated though. But you're writing was great, it was over the top and silted but that seemed to be what you were going for and you did it well.

Good job! I'd love to see more from you. :ajsmug:

Life is a cruel game.
What is wrong with death? Why do we live? Are we just some sort of show created by some all powerful being for their own enjoyment? Our pain and Suffering, for another's enjoyment?! Why?!
Screw life.

but yeah, lol.

942498
My thoughts EXACTLY.
(So funny...)

This is one hell of a case of Existential Nihilism. I liked it.

Dear 942494, 942498, 942512, 942520, 942521, 942526, 942530, 942531, 942550, and 942609:

I'm SO happy and excited! I told myself I wouldn't be, but... I see so many of you that I recognize. It's awesome you stopped by! Thank you all very much for taking time to read... whatever this was. I'm neither nihilistic nor political, honestly. I don't write either - this entire process was the fault/design of KitsuneRisu, my very patient friend. He's taught and inspired, and I am humbly grateful. As have GingerNutGin, Bookplayer, and Church - you're awesome.

:yay: - OMIGOD YAY!

942699
fuuuuu. You did good, mate. Crisp, clean writing and a book twist that I didn't expect.

media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6kczrgicN1qj5s7f.gif

942699 Awww... I get recognized?

This makes me very happy (See GingerNutGin's comment)

I award you a mustache for your efforts. :moustache:

Good show =)

Good first attempt, and rather comprehensive by its own right. You should really go for a proper long fic! Something meaty and tasty...

Perhaps some :ajbemused::rainbowderp: ? =D

942979

:twilightblush: - OMIGOD I LOVE APPLEDASH.

I'm not a lesbian, they're just cartoons, GET OVER IT.

noo Twilight dont read George Bush Nooooooo :pinkiegasp::derpytongue2::derpyderp2:

943101
Too late she took the red pill

942699
Recognized eh?
I'm guessing like me you keep seein' the same ponies on the same stories or.... You've read mah fic?!:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:
Doubt the latter but anyway thanks for the acknowledge and uh great story maybe you'll make moar random funnies in de future for us?:pinkiecrazy:

943113

I do run into a lot of familiar faces - guess we must have similar pony tastes? As in GOOD? ... so wait, why are you here reading THIS?

I love comedy. I don't think I'm capable of writing anything... you know, meaningful?

I'll read your story! JUST YOU WAIT!

:flutterrage:

943158
Haha that's what I keep thinkin' after all there IS a feature box... anyway thanks for the read! I actually didn't wanna be like "mind reading and tellin me wat cha think?" cuz than that'd be spam any who....lemme know wat cha tink!:trollestia: (I REALLY need to get the firs' chap editted NOW:rainbowkiss::rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild:)

BOOKS ARE EVIL!
PLAY MORE VIDEO GAMES!
That's all i have to say.

Most excellent! Though isn't Twilight's point negated by the Alicorns? Twilights next step would obviously be:

1. Elevate herself to alicorn status

2. Necromancy

3. Bio-transference to an inorganic body.

I would go with option 3, if only to lead the coming robot rebellion.

945222

Hm. HM. You're absolutely right.

I think perhaps, despite evidence to the contrary considering Twilight's relationship with Celestia, she's grossly aware of her own harrowing mortality. I mean, her decent into temporary madness came during a vulnerability - under ideal circumstances, she would have been her objective self - however, being the sleep-deprived verile nerd MOST OF US assume she is, this recorded text hit like a ton of bricks, leaving her vaulted reasoning to sit and watch the fireworks. TRUST ME ON THIS, even the most ACCUTE and SENSIBLE AWARENESS is SEVERELY RETARDED when denied sleep.

Thankfully, Applejack administered a hoof-sized sleeping aid.

Now all I can think about is Sweetie Bot. MNRRGH.

:unsuresweetie: - Um... beep boop boop?

:flutterrage: - ROBOT! KILL IT!

:pinkiehappy: - I hear the computer core is good eating! MMM!

I'm sorry but I didn't get it. Why is she freaking out over a book called "Decision Points By George W. Bush"? Is there something in there about death or something?

947555

You know what? It's not just you. A lot of folks don't get it.

Basically, the idea was thus: only a book of pure, logic-defying brutality and horror could ever affect Twilight so dramatically; a written evil that would curdle the mind and destroy all hope. I elected to make that book the spin-doctored political memoirs of one of the most notorious - and at times comically inept - presidents of all time. For sheer dramatic effect - I mean, how did it get to Equestria, never mind that particular library? As an utter absurdity, a daft "suspension of disbelief" piece, it sort of works and sort of doesn't. Some folks liked it! I'm happy about that!

The best thing to do is come away from every experience having learned something, which I have - I know now that American political satire might be a bit narrow for a fandom with such a diverse base. Also, don't answer questions on three hours of sleep; I've answered this question three times now, and as KitsuneRisu so eloquently summed my frenzied, manic prior attempts, "what the heck!?". Paraphrasing, of course.

I'm sure everyone wishes they could redo their first ever story, but ya know? I'm okay with this. Still makes me chortle! I had a blast, got some favorites and watchers, made me proud! Made some friends through the experience! It's my first story, heck! I had some 250 people read it! That's awesome! ... at least so I'm told!

I couldn't ask for anything more.

:pinkiehappy: - Excepting maybe your getting the joke! AMIRITE? Snxrt!

:ajbemused: - ... it ain't about apples, so why even read the darn thing?

960546

YAY! You're part of a very small percentage that has lol'd, so... that's why you're awesome.

TRUST ME ON THIS.

942699

Aw, that's cool.
Still don't get the joke though... :ajbemused:

975308

I don't really completely understand the joke either - it just makes me laugh every time!

WHY IS THIS STORY GETTING SO MANY READERS!? WHY DOES IT MAKE ME SO HAPPY?

The world isn't meant to know. Please though, post a comment if you're happy. I need the criticism or stabilizing enlightenment to continue my attempts at writing - I have no idea how, is basically it. EVERYTHING HELPS.

EXCEPT POLITICS.

Ahhhh politics in my ponies? It does not mix :applejackconfused:

Very well done. Choice of book for punchline questionable, but offhand I can't think of another - wait. Dammit, Twilight might work, if it weren't her name. Or maybe that makes it better?

A book of actual mind-curdling evil or nihilistic philosophy, wouldn't work. Mein Kampf just isn't funny.

1280985

YAY! Thank you for taking the time to read my story, Bad Horse! You kinda totally made my freaking day!

Hm. As Bookplayer mentioned as well, I could have picked a more recent and relevant release, but... what can I say? Decision Points is absurdly horrific - most would prefer not to think about it, I get that.

It was my first story, eh. It still makes me smirk! That, and I can't change it now, keeps me from sufficiently realistic modification. If I did rearrange things, perhaps I'd make the punchline to do with Paula Abdul's life story, or something on Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

STILL YAY!

i.imgur.com/M9ziz.jpg
Lol I liked it, the ending made me :rainbowlaugh: hard. Twilight better watch what she reads next time.

1342343

AH! Finally, someone else gets the joke! YES!

:yay: - YOU'RE AWESOME!

1342355 Yeeup :eeyup: I even photoshopped that picture for that comment.

1342374

You did??

You sir, you rock.

:raritystarry: - Did someone say rock? I adore rocks!

LOLOLOL!! THat was exceptionally entertaining, just what I expect from my little Twifight!:rainbowkiss: Great job!!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

1574539

YAY! I totally love you for that - I NEVER usually live up to expectations! WOO! MADE MY DAY!

Damn you, Bush!!!

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