• Member Since 2nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen June 13th

Twifight Sparkill

• I'm one book short of a trashy paperback trilogy, written entirely in crayon. "Dense and vague, yet unimaginably interesting." - Regidar.


• After an exercise in comedic study, Twilight unwittingly devises a daring dissertation with potentially lethal consequences! Can her unrestrained genius be stopped before it’s too late? Is it even possible for mere humor to be so horrifically harrowing? Nevermind any innocent intentions, will the esteemed Elements be enough to curtail this unequivocally evil epigram? My first multi-chapter story attempt, and not my last. Edited by several blog responders, who know how awesome they are.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 84 )

Has potiential :rainbowwild:
Don't disappoint :rainbowkiss:

Amazing amount of alliteration!!:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

So much alliteration! It buuuuuuuuuuuuuuurns!

Good read, I chuckled quite frequently...
Flawlessly executed alliteration there. I enjoyed it thoroughly. :scootangel:

:twilightsmile: - Thanks for commenting, everyone. I really appreciate it - I've had some rough emotional times of late, and this has really bolstered my girlish spirits. Yay!


Yessir! I'm glad you like the idea - this is my very first foray into multiple chapter writing, so... well, I hope I don't disappoint either!


Indeed, I inadvertently invoked innumerable ideas into interesting injunctions! Isn't it intriguing?

Oh jeez, my head hurts like HELL now! OYE!


I'm very glad you liked my crazy attempt. It was a lot of serious fun to write, unlike my other two story attempts, and remained a constant joy throughout every process.

:twilightoops:Something tells me the limerick is not nearly as funny as it is dirty...


:twilightsheepish: - I would hate to give away the ending, but... at least I can tell you that this story has been tagged appropriately. No worries!

1192217 you have a very disturbing profile pic good sir


:twilightblush: - Aheh. It's madam, and thank you - of course, none of the credit goes to me, save that I selected the avatar from thousands of choices, as most of us tend to. ZuTheSkunk on Deviantart is responsible for this monstrous Twilight - do endeavor to check his work, he's positively amazing!

Also, read everything KitsuneRisu has written.

Potential! I must have more:flutterrage:


You can tell anypony anything and (probably) hurt no feelings -- except for "You have no sense of humor." Nopony ever takes that well.

Coming soon from a writer near you (no, not me): Twilight Sparkle Gets a Satire Tag. :twilightblush:


Thank you, Waffle! Mm, your pseudonym makes me hungry!


YAY DUSTY! Yeah, I have no idea where this idea came from, but the sheer cruelty of being told you're not funny is damned heartbreaking! I feel for Twilight in this story! It's like, even though she's convinced her joke hurt one of her best friends, she's ALMOST upset when told it's impossible for her to have manufactured a joke SO FUNNY IT COULD KILL for her being so PLACID and GENUINELY UNFUNNY.

Sigh! I remember when my teachers in high school would ask, "do you think you're being funny, young lady?" - the answer, of course internalized, was ALWAYS a resounding YES.

Also, you should TOTALLY WRITE that "Twilight Sparkle Gets a Satire Tag" story! PURE GOLD!

And I just remembered something else that will hurt somepony's feelings without fail, but mentioning it here would constitute plugging one of my own stories, so I won't.


Hey, you plug whatever you want Dusty - you're cool in my books!

Well, here's the passage. Make of it what you will:

“I told him to go away and he started screaming that I had no right to treat him this way and that he would tell all his friends about me and nopony would ever want me.” She was clearly fighting back the tears. “The rude suggestions, they didn’t matter. But it’s the worst thing in the world to tell a filly that nopony would ever want her, because she’ll believe it every time.”


Hm. Though it sort of ruins things, that is a deliberate practice. Perhaps I should warn readers of its position in the writing?

No, that'd give things away. Blast! I'm a victim of my own punchline!

Edit: Okay, I sort of warned 'em in the preface. I BOW TO YOUR WISDOM.

"Please stop doing that," Rarity glowered. "Honestly, it's like hooves on a chalkboard."


In any case, this is awesome. I'll be recommending it to a few friends (read: abusing my fimfiction IRC modpowers to force everyone there to read it)


You liked it? Really?

I... wow. Thank you! Honestly, after my foolish posts previous, I feared the worst! You have no idea how happy I am that you enjoyed this! YAY!

You know, there's not much you can do about how famous your fic gets, a lot of it is random. One thing I can recommend is to post it during the early evening Eastern Standard Time, when lots of people are on. I noticed you posted this very, very early in the morning. I agree, some of it might have been the SS&E fics, but then again I don't see any of those in the featured box, not even background pony, so yeah, it's mostly sheer luck. Keep it up, the more new stories you put up that are as good as this one, the more people will come, the better your chances of getting featured. I'll keep plugging this one, since I really think it has potential. Good luck! :scootangel:


Wow. I am beside myself with grateful joy! Thank you so much! I admit, I have little to no idea how FiMFiction works in regards to posts, and I certainly didn't comment on SS&E's works because I expected the feature box, I just... well, one minute I had readers, the next I was off the reading list entirely - along with every other story below me, plus the three or so above. I was so disappointed.

Anyway, thanks for your time and attention. Let's talk again soon - have a splendid day!

1203499 I personally love the alliteration myself (as you can see from my previous comment :D) it's just that at times it can be annoying to follow to others, I guess.

The problem only arises when it's every other sentence, which can get... :derpyderp1:


Duly noted, and now properly addressed in my story description.

It's for a specific reason, I swear! HONEST!

You have a way with words.

Fascinating, to say the least.

Pinkie Pie loves you now, you random anomaly of a pony you.


I might be using that picture a lot for some reason.


You're a bonafide saint, if just a tad bit flattering.


Edit: Wow. I really come across as a suck-up. I DISGUST ME - which I'm used to, so whatever.

If the limerick really did put Rainbow Dash in a coma, at least she didn't go out like this:

Hmm, it appears this has updated without adding a chapter?

My hopes, sir! They have been triumphantly raised and dashed.

And not Dashed like Rainbow Dash, oh no. Dashed like Twilight's faith in the imperial system after discovering metric, but that's another story.


Nuts and bother! I was doing a bit of an edit on my phone, and my stupid finger slipped and hit unpublish... I am terribly sorry.

:derpytongue2: - OOPS! MY BAD!


NNGGHH. Well, maybe I should ACCIDENTALLY hit UNTRACK.

...Goddamnit, I want to see a second chapter too much.

You win this round, author.

You win this round.


I am terribly sorry. Truly. I promise that the second chapter will make up for this grievous slight, mm?


I loved this and your name. Wish I'd thought of it.
This reminds me of the Monty Python skit.


Thank you, Sunshine!

... you really scare the shit out of me.

1350311 You say that with an avatar that resembles Twilight wearing her friends' hides :trollestia:


To coin Bookplayer's phrase, "I left the irony plugged in. That's potentially dangerous!"

I'm only playing of course. Thank you so much for reading and liking my silly story. This is all Pascal's fault - I saw your comment for his Immaculate Sin tale (which I LOVED), and I just had to troll your page - and strangely enough it's all for iloveportalz0r & I having a picture spam war in one of Church's blogs.

:pinkiehappy: - The world is fucking weird! Amiright??

1350381 Haha, it's absurd and I wouldn't have it any other way :twilightsmile:


Me either!

... maybe I'd have it with more money and less drunken stupidity, but eh!

Less war. More food for the third world? Better educational facilities and fair wages? Um, tolerance amongst race and religion?


Otherwise yeah, cool.

Oh, and a cure for cancer!


Do not fear, I'll be France! I surrender while all my limbs are still intact



You, good sir, are absolutely hilarious.

PLEASE WRITE MORE of your GLORIOUS Sunshine Smiles in the Land of Confused Horse Goddesses and Racist Unicorns??


Aww shucks :twilightblush:

I'll probably write some more of that tomorrow, I've already got two shorts pending today.


I mean, until today I'd waited my whole life to read your story - I suppose I can go for a WHOLE DAY.


1351419 Oh snap, you're gonna wait for it? :rainbowhuh: I just meant for you to time travel


You... you changed your avatar picture!


1357928 Someone showed me this cheese guy today. He's funny, but my pony looked too close to it. :ajsleepy: All the good things are already taken


Cheese is from Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends - he's nowhere NEAR as cool.

My day is ruined. RUINED.


1358042 I don't even know what I'm doing anymore

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