On the last mission to save Equestria, Rainbow Dash was hurt. Not critically and she'll heal, but for now she's grounded. But she also promised that she'd do a Sonic Rainboom at the next Wonderbolts show for Scootaloo's parents, and she is not going to let her girl down.
Solution: get another Rainbow Dash.
There's just two problems.
First, Spitfire knows her team backwards and forwards and she's not fooled.
Second, the human Rainbow Dash doesn't actually know how to do a Rainboom as a pony.
I'm sure this won't cause any problems.
Written as part of the Quills & Sofas 2024 Wonderbolts Contest, in which it took second!
Featured 4/30/2024 - 5/5/2024!
Also appearing on Equestria Daily on 5/3/3024!
Chapters (1)
Banger. Loved the comedic timing on this especially that line break and one sentence. Flowed nicely, hit the right notes and got a good few chuckles out of me. Thanks for the fic~!
Well done as usual.
And yes, i know, because the story would not have happened otherwise but:
if there is the deus ex portal, then where is the deus ex discord to heal dash?
Where's that cover image from?
The Rainboobs look a bit too big.
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He didn't feel like it that day.
I'm fairly diligent about filling out the source attribution for my cover art and you can find it linked on the image itself - in this case, it's from here and an artist who basically did like three images and then disappeared forever.
Fantastic example of one of my favorite underused MLP story concepts. (With all the Anons finding their way into Equestria, you’d think people would bring in the canon humanoids more often.) Pitch perfect with both sides of the (entirely Platonic, preening session aside) pairing. Dash getting left with several awkward questions about herself and a new nickname is probably the best possible outcome here. Thank you for it.
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Thank you!
Very fun, no notes.
And save Heart's Warming since you're at it.
I was gonna say just that XD
This was great, not only fun but also really introspective of Humdash and Spitfire. I specially like this version of Spits that fills the 'military trainer' bill but also shows how much she cares for her team and others. And I also like that involves Scoots in a very special way (in my opinion at least)
Awesome job.
Good job, Spitfire. That's your second gay awakening. An Academy record!
I've seen this concept applied to Twilight and Pinkie, but not Rainbow. Fantastically executed here. Best of luck in the contest!
I mean...I can't really blame her at this point. And we're only a third or so of the way into the story!
See, this is kind of why I stopped following EqG too closely after awhile--it was getting more absurd than even FiM itself ever got at its worst.
And absolutely nothing more needs to be said on that.
And here I thought for sure they were going to do all of this only to find that Scoot's parents couldn't make it after all and made the whole effort for naught.
Perfection. As always.
I was going to comment on how, even with Scootaloo's feelings on the line, Spitfire was being awfully nice -- especially considering that she was dealing with a Rainbow Dash and she was otherwise treating her like a member of the team. Then I realized that Spitfire only yells at those she loves (platonically), which means she views humans as pitiable creatures that are less than ponies. Not cool, Spitfire... not cool.
I loved this! The cutaway gag with RD making it weird was a highlight.
And then the magical devil geode from another dimension sucked up all the magics in Pony Land and mutated Human Dash into a Angel Pony with light wings that initiated Third Impact.... because suddenly the geode was an S2 Organ and this was all an Eva crossover the entire time.
One line.
Just a single line to sum up a whole scene.
And it was beautiful
I have not read this yet, but DAMN the cover pic FUCKIN EPIC
I love how differently a parallel character can react! I guess humans are more weathered than ponies.
No kid around the 2010s can go through a pure Modern Warfare lobby and get out unscathed.
I love this story, Wordsmith!
This was glorious. Why is human-turned-pony Dash so gosh darned adorable?
That... was... awesome! I genuinely lol'd at the line "Rainbow Dash made it weird." Congrats on making the top of the Featured box.
My👍was #100.
Love the chapter title, and like another commenter said, the cover art is f*cking epic.
This is the best paragraph to exist ever
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And the best part is that it's all canon.
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Man, don't you just hate when you're trying to do an awesome move to impress someone and then suddenly everyone is tang?
Crash and Crutch.
Oh dear, that sounds like a routine worse than Flim and Flam
11894273 I know, right? It's happened like, 3 times now!
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"Totally simple, super obvious! How aren't you getting this?"
It really was.
Same thing happened to my mate, Paul.
Good work with the story, I liked it
Thats the thing a lot of people forget about callsigns. They are not supposed to be chosen by yourself and they are usualy based on a screw up. Human RBD seems to get that.
Bravo, very good story.
This story had me bursting out in laughter numerous times. Your sense of comedic timing is EXCELLENT. "Rainbow Dash made it weird" indeed, bahahahahahaha
This was very well written. I enjoyed it!
As something of a connoisseur of Equestria/Pedestria crossovers, this was a joy to read. The comedy hits and the characterization hits ("that is the most Rainbow Dash logic I have ever heard", indeed). Well done
You missed an 'o' in Scootaloo's name there.
That aside, this was a pretty good story.
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Best callsign I've heard of is "Salad". The pilot's middle name was Cesar.
Nice.
Oh man, what a joy to read.
Comedy is so hard, and here you are, just nailing it to the wall, Making it look easy. I always try to remind myself (especially when watching the Olympics💀) that when things look or feel effortless, it's usually because of the amount of time & effort that someone has invested to perfect the skill. I think you really showcased that here.
Also, frankly speaking, I'm kind of a ho for mentorship fic so uh. Good comedy + good mentorship is kinda liquid gold for me? I really, really enjoyed this. Your characterizations really thrived in this story, but I also really enjoyed the worldbuilding you did around Wonderbolts things, like trainings and the shows. They were relatively small things--the wind tunnel, Spitfire's name for the show maneuver--but I still found them impactful. They showcased that you'd really thought about this. We don't see much besides the finished product in the show; it was really nice to see such a thoughtful peak behind the curtain.
Anyway, onto quotes I really enjoyed:
Never thought about the show like this but you are uh, not wrong. 😂
Perfect, no notes.
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Dash is very good at cutting to the point of things.
She's just kinda bad at understanding when that creates more problems than it solves.
(And thank you!)
She made it weird.
This was fantastic. :D Funny with a side of heartwarming, and I loved Spitfire as narrator; her dry, no-nonsense attitude is on full display (to hilarious effect), but you also make it clear just how much she cares. (And not just for her team, even if she's going to be as disgruntled about being dragged into caring about making a little filly sad as she is about the entire rest of the situation. 😂)
I also thought you did a great job of making human!RD in pony form feel different from canon RD in a lot of subtle ways, and part of the joy of this fic was watching her and Spitfire progressively trip over them and try to figure out ways to compensate. (And as someone who hasn't watched the third EqG movie yet, I'm already looking forward to watching the events that RD so """helpfully""" summarized unfold onscreen. :D )
And although many people have already noted it: I 100% agree that human!RD's belated gay awakening, Spitfire's flat unwillingness to deal with it, and
were peak comedy even for an already great and comedic fic. :D Just, very well done all around. :)
This was one of the greatest things I've ever read
I didn't know I needed ponies lecturing humans-as-ponies on cultural gaps so much. It's been ages since a story made me laugh so much, my highest compliments.