• Member Since 7th Nov, 2022
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

ThePeer


I hope you're having a good day, but if not, I hope it gets better :)

Comments ( 53 )

Damn this is amazing

Well done friend, beautifully executed!

11816372
why thank you


11816391
glad you enjoyed it :)

I always enjoy reading the ways Celestia would become Daybreaker in unique ways. The tyrant mother is one of my favorite types. Very well executed. Thanks for sharing.

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ye, i was going for her actually caring about Twilight while still being very evil. In a way she is motherly to her, which makes their relationship even more screwed up.

That was excellent.

Damn, sad but still good story. Twilight approves.

11816454
glad you liked it :twilightblush:
I'm flattered

11816455
Thanks Twilight, weird you'd approve a story where something this horrible happens to you, but thanks anyways :twilightsmile:

Also, cool halo profile picture :)

11816458
Ye, I don’t know why but I do. And thank you! :twilightblush:
Maybe your next story should be a halo mlp fanfic?:raritywink:

I'd like to see where this goes to be honest. Even if you just made a story of excerpts of the characters in this universe, things that happened, and the aftermath.

From the start you know something has gone terribly wrong, and this sense of unease only grows as the story unfolds. Even the smallest details have an inescapable gravity, and left me wanting more, even if I know the answers might not be what I wish to hear. The faded note; was the escape set up by Rainbow? Or was it Yearling who knows she was her friend? How long ago did she receive the false book if the note has begun to fade with age? So many questions

Will her decision herald a new beginning or the beginning of the end? There is a tiny spark of hope, but I don't know for certain, and that's what is most compelling about this.

Very good, a short but gripping tale

Dang, that was tough to read, but in a good way!

At the very least, the ending is hopeful.

A bit too touchy there, NotCelestia! Personal space, mare! :twilightsheepish:

Nice read!

Oh my God. It's soooo IMPRESSIVE TO ME!! I like this story :heart:

I hadn’t forgotten what that felt like?

What’s up with the quotation mark? Doesn’t feel like a question.

“-P-... Princess Celestia, please please forgive me, I didn’t mean to interrupt [...]"

There’s an unnecessary "–" before the "P–..."


Wow... I feel like there’s still a lot left, is there going go be a sequel? I would like some more information as to what happened in this universe, judging by how Twilight was acting (well, thinking) the rest of her friends and Spike are dead.

Anyway, your writing is good and characterisation is solid, yet, due to... reasons (cough NON-CON cough) I’ll give this a GOOD instead of AWESOME.

Comment posted by Hojin deleted February 8th

Love this theme so much. Needs more for Daylight... this cannot be the ship term... or is it?

Damn, this is great.

I really enjoyed this story. The premise was interesting and had me curious about the events that transpired to lead to where the story began and what would follow after Twilight allowed herself to escape. It also made me wonder just how long she had the means of potential escape but refused to use it -- clinging to the hope that Celestia was still there somewhere and would break through.

I'm not sure if there's a plan to expand upon this but I would be all for it.

Damn, this is horrible

that little detail of Celestia forcing Daring Do to write more books is the worst part, somehow. What a douche.

ooh i love a good evil! Celestia fic.

This had the perfect amount of vagueness to it, just enough information to make the missing pieces curious instead of confusing. Beautifully done!!!

I would love to read a longer story about this world, but as is, its a perfect standalone.

You wrote this flawlessly, Twilight's emotions were so palpable throughout, and the entire premise i wish I could see more of the history that led to this point, but having it in the dark adds so much to the mystery of this setting. This was amazing and you should be proud <3 :twilightsmile:

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I was not initially planning on writing a sequel to this, as my ADHD addled brain barely has the ability to focus on one idea for a long period of time. But! Seeing that people liked it so much, I might start working on one, I do already have a few ideas of what i'd like to write in it.

11816565
Why thank you for the kind comment.


11816566
When writing this I was afraid that I maybe went a little to far with it, but happy that I seemed to hit the right spot.

11816587
too touchy indeed.

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Aw, thanks :o

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At least rainbow dash may or may not have survived long enough to give out the note and sneak in the device, although they might all be alive who knows :trixieshiftright:

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Not for Twilight :(

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wait is it the ship term? (Although, I wasn't really going for a 'ship' in the traditional sense. There is no romance tag after
all.)

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Thanks you :twilightblush:

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rest assured it was a while, or not really rest assured, that actually makes it much worse.

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That it was

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Imagine writing a book with a gun pointed at the back of your head. Twilight is the only pony actually reading them too, Celestia kept her alive for the specific purpose of forcing her to write books only for Twilight.

11817005
Its cool getting a comment from you specifically since I've read a lot of your stuff, and I really liked them :)

Cool to see that the one and only 6D Pegasus has enjoyed this little story I wrote, :twilightsmile:
(How do you achieve the sixth dimension by the way?)

This was amazing and you should be proud <3 :twilightsmile:

I'm still in the 'wait this was actually good??? I thought this was terrible!' phase of things, but glad you liked it!

nicely written.

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Imagine writing a book with a gun pointed at the back of your head.

Alan Wake be like:

nothing much else to say that the emotional delivery of twilight's.... predicament, was written extremely well. it's hard to set up every idea introduced here as seamlessly as you did, and the delivery did not disappoint. i give it 10 out of 10 sad and crying dashies

11817259
oh my gosh is that the real siren????

Thanks :twilightsmile:

Excellent. Terrifying. Heartbreaking. And you are a naturally intuitive writer—a rare thing, indeed. Embrace it.

Truly a chilling story, but truly amazing!

I forgot to mention:

I saw Daybreak.

Is this metaphorical or did you forget to add the "er" in "Daybreaker"?

This was really good! I completely missed the tags so the slow build up to the "Empress" delivery was awesome. All of the little details adding up to give you the idea that something here is really wrong. The bed segment especially did a great job of conveying how uncomfortable and bleak the situation is. Celestia and Twilight's relationship gave off some really unhealthy undertones during the show and I always love to see how people choose to explore that. In addition I haven't seen Daybreaker applied to this concept so you managed to bring this story into its own thing.

njnj!

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Just do what Ray Bradbury does :) I mean, even his 'novels' are just collections of short stories. But we love his work all the same.

i like never read darkfic, but this one caught my eye and it did NOT disappoint. the concept for this is so interesting, it's SUPER well done and the final escape feels stressful and cathartic at the same time.

Well, that was a fun read! I concur with the others, more would definitely be fun :twilightsmile:

Quite the psychological horror, this. I wonder if it will end well for Twilight... It's possible this is EaW based, in which case I can only imagine it won't. Though something tells me even if she gets recaptured, Daybreaker will mainly seek to find a better cage to contain her after any initial punishments...

We can only hope Twilight finds the elements before it's too late. I wonder if Luna even is Nightmare Moon, or if that's Daybreaker propaganda...

Incredible read. Tense and horrifying. Great job!

holy crap this was good!!

This gave me chills man
Beautifully well written

11817337
If you'd ever have seen the first stuff I have written then you'd know that i'm definitely not a naturally intuitive writer. But thanks for the compliment! It does mean a lot. :twilightsmile:


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Aw, thank you :)


11817357
Chilling but good was what I was going for, so thanks a lot!


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Is this metaphorical or did you forget to add the "er" in "Daybreaker"?

... wait their was an er at the end? :twilightoops: Uhhh... lets just say it is a metaphor

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I was going for a corrupted version of their current relationship. I've always thought that Celestia had a deep platonic love for Twilight. So when she becomes the corrupted version of herself, Daybreaker, that love doesn't just disappear but instead warps. Instead of loving her as a student or as a child, she sees her as a pony that is hers and hers only. Locking her up was not only to try keep her from running away, but also to keep her from getting hurt, like keeping a pet bird in a cage rather then letting it fly out the house freely.

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Also the very famous book fightclub is also like that. I believe chapter 8 or 7 is the one that was the originally a short story.

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Thanks! That was exactly what I was going for!
(Also awesome RD presents profile picture) :rainbowkiss:

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Its not directly EaW based, but considering how much I love EaW I probably subconsciously took some inspiration, I also very recently joined their writer team. My favorite EaW fics would be Princess and Kasier, which i'm still working on reading, fricking love it. As for what would happen if Twilight is captured, you're right on the money, at least how I intended it to seem like, I wanted this story to also be open for interpretation. But, thanks for the comment!

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Thanks that was what I was going for! Also cool profile picture.

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Glad you liked it :twilightsmile:

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the chills was what I was going for :twilightsheepish: thanks!

God damn. Absolutely wonderful. A fantastic piece of writing, you should totally be proud!

This is the best Evil Celestia i've ever read.

BTW,

My heart beated faster, panic gripped my neck and squeezed.

beat not beated.


PS- in her rage a Twilight's escape, Empress Daybreaker kills the servant that Twilight lied to save. It is not a clean death.

... oh. This was one of the bad endings... I'm, uhh... just gonna grab a flashlight real quick...

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why thank you :)

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i do hope that guy is okay :(
I know I should've put beat, as that is grammatically correct, but I just liked beated better, even if it is wrong.

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:o A trans pony! Those ponies are cool.
Good luck on getting that flashlight!

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I just liked beated better, even if it is wrong.

Ah, forgive me, nothing' wrong with a headstrong idiolect. (Thank Celestia for that, or else i would be in trouble)

Run fast and run far sweet twilight for you have not the time to look back.
Chilling and captivating 👍

Damn, that was intense! I hope Twilight can find her friends out there, somewhere. Assuming she hasn't been locked away so long they've all died... That would be even more sad. Though I suppose she could make new friends

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Another trans pony :o.
Don't worry, she wasn't locked up for longer then a decade, so her friends are still alive.

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She'll certainly be running!

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