• Member Since 30th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Monday

AngelShy24


I'm a mixed basket. Check me out!

Sequels1

E

Cream and Cheese discovers a hidden cave that eventually leads them to a portal gateway that transports them to Equestria.
Lost and scared, they run into Fluttershy who agrees to help them find a way back to their world.
Little do they know that a run-in with an Animal showpony will soon take them on a little mini-adventure.

(My first MLP crossover)

(Artwork done by SpyrotheFox)

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 68 )

This going well so far! Ignore naysayers plz.

it's wonderful i hope there comes more:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

will read, sound very good :yay:

Spotting mistakes:
Cream just sadly shook her (head) while tearing a bit... I think you left out her head in the line. Quite headless of you. :rainbowkiss:
Fluttershy was quite startled and a bit surprise(d) to see... missing d in surprised. I found it. Here you go. :pinkiesmile:
“Yeah, she('s) a real good friend,”... Found your next missing letter. It's really fun to search for them. :pinkiehappy:

That's all I could find. Hope it helps. :twilightsheepish:
Nice little story so far. Faving for now.:twilightsmile:

Bronydragon:moustache:

What is that Mobius place anyway?

The one who decided to thumb this down is obviously one that dislikes Sonic. A shame, really.:facehoof:
Woop! Have a like.:pinkiesmile:

1391465
It's basically the world where Sonic the Hedgehog and all of his friends and rivals live. You can follow on the tv show version, video game version, or comic version... or enjoy all! I am a big fan of the Sonic franchise:pinkiehappy: and yes...:twistnerd: Cream is one of my favorite side characters; I just felt like putting her in the spotlight.

1391446
Thanks:derpytongue2: I hate little errors like these.

1391598
Shit happens, shit happens. :derpytongue2:
Oh and I love the old Sonic series. Always played it to no end.
*sigh* Good old times. :pinkiesad2:

Bronydragon:moustache:

This story is currently in progress in my noggin; meaning that everything that helps the story progress is still in the works. I'm making sure that this crossover works and not instead mess it up. This story will take time for me to make, but... IT WILL BE GLORIOUS!!!:flutterrage:

Well, this sounds interesting. I'll read it, though Cream I never was a fan of.

>>AngelShy24
Cool! I'll have to check that out sometime!

>>AngelShy24
Cool! I'll have to check that out sometime!

Please continue soon I like this

Shorter chapter done in a longer time.
Again, I'm brainstorming to make sure this fits well.
That, and the school work just keeps on coming.:ajbemused:

Aghhhhhh, an even more evil version of Trixie!:twilightoops:
Trixie should show her male counterpart how idiotic he is, because even she is not that stupid.
Awaiting further releases.:fluttershysad:

What's with the 11 dislikes?!:ajbemused:

Oh man....This is SWEET! I hope to see more!

1450608
Beats me.:applejackunsure:
But as long as the likes are higher up, I'm good with it.:raritywink:

1450046
Schoolwork kills nearly everything. :ajbemused:
And now some ranting (Where corrections are needed I put them in brackets):
(Both) Cream and Cheese were both in awe as they... I think you should delete one of the boths in this sentence. Sounds better.

...city is made entirely (by) clouds. Ow lolz. I'd love to see clouds making a city, but I think you meant made of clouds? Right?

...why she lived in (a) cottage... Missing a here.

...one of my friends (are) there... If I'm not completely mistaking it should be ,"is" there, right?

Cream felt a little (a little uneasy)... Double! C-c-c-combo braker.

Fluttershy, Cream (and) Cheese, Angel walked... And sould be at the end of the listing.

...(thought) (Fluttershy) to herself. Swap it. It should be: Fluttershy thought to herself.

...with your wonder(ful) applause! I think you meant wonderful applause.

Cream and Cheese (was) cheering... They both cheered, so it is "were"

Ok, so this is the end of my ranting. Hope it wasn't too bald and that you take it as the constructive criticism that it is.

Chapter was funny. I really liked the part where Cream Yelled at Leone, catching him completely off guard. :rainbowlaugh:
And I think Leone will kidnap Cheese. If he dares to I think we'll see some magnificent ass ripping. :flutterrage::flutterrage::pinkiecrazy:

Bronydragon:moustache:

1451461
All of these errors!:raritydespair:
What would I do without help?:pinkiesmile:

1451753
Probably check better for mistakes. :rainbowlaugh:
But it's ok. I make mistakes myself. I just use word to sort the big ones out. :twilightblush:

Bronydragon:moustache:

This shall be interesting.:pinkiesmile:

this story is so cute

I see Spike, looking hungryly at the chaos emerald, swallowing a big gulp of saliva that had gathered in his mouth and reaching out for it to get a taste of the gemstone.:moustache:
And Twilight would be all like: "Spike! Don't touch that gem. It's not for you. Now shush." :twilightangry2:
I can so imagine that to actually happen in your story. :rainbowlaugh:

Note: I spotted some minor typing errors, but overall your writing increased since last time. Good job. :ajsmug:

Bronydragon:moustache:

...go die in Tartarus. I hope Cream pummels you to death.:pinkiehappy: <--To Leone
Moving on, this is intriguing!:pinkiesmile:
Awaiting further releases.:fluttershysad:

Urge to maim rising!!!
Please make this guy pay before i reach into my computer and kill this guy

And then pure rage filled the little Chao. His mind was lost in the depths of Leone's magic enchanted collar and his body returned to his basic instincts. He suddenly sent a wave of chaos energy, living inside of him, against Leone and his magical grasp, sending Leone flying against one of the bigger chages. His instinct forbade it for him to be locked up or even mind controlled. He gritted his teeth and his eyes went blood-red. The chaos energy coming from his very core now covered his whole little body in a light blue aura. Leone, upon seeing the big mistake he just made, tried to get away but to no avail. Cheese easily blocked his attempts to teleport out of the room and replaced the door, located at the far end, with a massive stone wall with his chaos powers. Now that Leone was trapped in his own trap, he began sweating, bands of sweat running down his coat and face. Meanwhile Cheese freed the other imprisoned animals and with a blast of chaos magic destroyed the mind controlling gems around their necks, which gave them back their free will. Leone backed away in a corner of the room, while Cheese and the now mildly upset animals inched closer and closer to him.... :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:
Come on he deserves it. :twilightangry2:
Nice pic you got there by the way.:rainbowkiss:

Bronydragon:moustache:

Oh what a lovely chapter.:twilightsmile: MORE OF THIS!:flutterrage:
Make Leone pay! :pinkiecrazy:

Dragon:moustache:

Considering the role Cream played in Sonic Heroes, and Advance 2 & 3, I'm sure she's more than capable of handling anything that gets in her way. And with Fluttershy along, nothing can go wrong!

...I really shouldn't tempt fate.

WE MUST RALLY THE TROOPS. VICTORY OR SOVONGARDE!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

DEATH!DEATH!DEATH!KILL HIM TO DEATH! SEND THE T-F1000 AFTER HIM! RAPE HIM IN THE EAR WITH A RUSTY FLAMING AXE! NOONE TREATS A SONIC CHARACTER LIKE THAT!!!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

Interesting crossover idea... proceed.

“Thanks, Miss Mare,” said Cream, “Come on, Cream! We have to get there, quick!”

It should be Miss Fluttershy where Cream shouts.
Just pointing out.
Good chapter by the way.
Additional information: I'd kick Leone in the face with spikes if I could. :flutterrage::twilightangry2:

Dragon:moustache:

SPOILER ALERT!!!
The blonde mare serves no secret purpose in the progression of the story... and nor does the sole changeling.:trollestia:

1856619
Maybe, but I got a feeling the changeling will have a few choice actions toward the dirtbag when he/she is free...among with the other slaves.

C&C: "...who has ever saw you will forget who are..."
> You seems to forgotten another 'you' in there.

By the way, keep up the great job with this story!

...I would start to say that the chapter was very enjoyable.
...however, you need to make some corrections.:twilightsheepish:
You keep switching between present tense and past tense; something which hurts your story.
With the addition of "you're majesty", here's two specific parts I would like to advice you on:

Luna’s guards backed up as she straightens her throat and took a deep a breath; then she let it all out.

May I suggest: Luna's guards backed up as she straightened her throat, took a deep breath and let it all out.

“DO NOT SHOW US SUCH A RESPECTFUL GESTURE AFTER EVERYTHING THOU HAVE DONE TO OUR SISTER!!! SHE BROUGHT THOU INTO HER OWN CASTLE AND GAVE THOU A GOOD USE FOR THOU SPECIAL TALENT!!! THEN JUST BECAUSE MY SISTER DIDN’T APPROVE OF YOUR RESEARCH, YOU PLANNED TO GAIN REVENGE AGAINST HER AND TAKE OVER THOU LAND!!!?”

No offense intended, but you do not know what you are talking about here.

"Have" is incorrect as Luna is reverting back to ZE ARCHAICZ, and should thus be "hast".
I might be wrong, but this "thou" should be "thee".
...thou is always an informal Olden equivalent to "you", and instead you must use "thy" or "thine" when referring to something possessive.
"Thy" should be used when the first letter in the next word is a consonant, and "thine" when it is a vowel.
...shouldn't it be "our" land?:twilightsheepish:
...regardless, continue writing! :twilightsmile:

Yay update:pinkiehappy:
Awww I finished it:fluttershysad:
Well time to wait for more :derpytongue2:

And so this arc ends.:pinkiehappy:
Pretty good I say.:twilightsmile:
...still, there's room for improvements.:twilightsheepish:
Just grammar-related things though.:pinkiesmile:
Awaiting the sequel!:pinkiehappy:

1930296
There's no plans for a sequel, but there is one short chapter left that concludes this.:twistnerd:
So... sorry, there's other stories I want to do; glad you enjoyed it though.:twilightsmile:

1931099
Oh, excuse me, I assumed out from something you said that you would make a sequel.:twilightsheepish:
Very well then.:twilightsmile:

....Do you think...you'll write a sequel? Maybe with Cream and Cheese returning along with her mother and Vector? Maybe a few others?....Please:fluttercry:?

Great story will there be a sequel?

Sometimes, the most corniness of saying is just the right way to describe something, and that one is definitely the right way to describe it! Congrat on completing a wonderful story and can't wait to see more from you!

It was a good adventure which has sadly ended.:twilightsmile:
I do hope to see more good things from you.:pinkiesmile:

1940310>>1939944
No plans for a sequel; um...sorry.:fluttershyouch:
But if I run out of ideas down the road, I could think of something.:applejackunsure:

you will never find a bunny who loves like angel does XD

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