• Member Since 25th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 minutes ago


A brony of few words who writes many.


Ditzy Doo has long been seen as Ponyville's kind, albeit klutzy, mail mare, and seeing her around the town over the years has long been iconic to the locals.

That is until Twilight Sparkle finds out there was actually a bit more to it than was let on...

Cover art by C-Puff

Featured 2/26/2021

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 38 )

“Lieutenant Commander Ditzy Doo of the Night Guard at your service, your highness,” Ditzy then finally clarified, dipping her head down in a polite and formal half-bow.

Lieutenant Commander Derby of the royal night guard holy mackerel that is freaking awesome :derpytongue2:

“Oh, no—still a pegasus.” Ditzy fluttered the leathery wings on her back awkwardly. Their movements weren’t quite accurate enough to be real batwings now that Twilight saw them move. “It’s just illusion magic making me look like a bat pony at a moment because I’m in uniform. You know, like how the Day Guard has the armor that magically makes them all look alike? It’s the same for the Night Guard—the batwings are just their trademark look.”

That is a very interesting theory about the bat ponys

“Oh really? So what about that time where you dropped on my head a flower pot, an anvil, a cart of hay…”

Ohhh way to bring Old Wounds lol

*Boop the Derppone*

Twilight did, and quickly saw it was the start of a series of dossiers. None of the information the report provided was anything that wouldn’t already be public knowledge, but Twilight readily recognized the creatures all the same. She flipped through the first couple of these, her brow starting to furrow. “These are all students from the School of Friendship,” she noted aloud.

“Specifically, a certain six of the students,” Ditzy clarified, “the same who I happen to know have a special connection with the Tree of Harmony…like six other mares I happen to know.”

Twilight looked up sharply. “Wait, you know about that?” she asked, then, thinking she saw what Ditzy was implying, added, “You don’t think they’re going to be…” she trailed off.

Ditzy, however, just shrugged. “Like I said before, princess,” she said idly with a knowing smirk, “I’m just thinking of the future.”

And also a certain Griffin is going to be the first creature to be one of the Royal Guards near to the future 😊

So this is basically her first day as the princess of Equestria but it looks like she's going to talk with one of the night guards about something very important and as Night Guard is very surprisingly is Derpy and with Twilight surprise Derpy explain about why she's here and not only that she was basically on duty during her time in Ponyville which that's a pretty interesting if you think about it but she did all this just to protect Twilight which that is pretty awesome and she even talks about how to prepare for the future this was a very interesting take on about Derpy but pretty cool nice job on it keep up the good work

Very fun to read. Thanks for the cute story!

While I may strongly disapprove of certain elements of season 9... Derpy/Ditzy is one of my favorite characters, and this post-coronation fic about her makes a great deal of sense. Thoroughly enjoyable, and expect a favorite when I have enough other fics gathered.

Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.

:derpytongue2: And like Discord Spike's not just visiting . . .or drinking tea. . .
:twilightoops: Wut?!?
:moustache: What's with the armored suit Twi?
:raritystarry: Spikey in a tin? What ever will I do?
:flutterrage: Can Opener!
:facehoof: You're not helping!

So here's my question. What is this obsession people seem to have, in thinking Derpy was anything more than she was?

No really, I don't get why this fandom seems obsessed with her. I don't hate her, personally.

But I can think of several more background characters more interesting than Derpy.

Her random disasters to the Mane 6 are funny though.


She was, if I recall, one of the first.

There may be more interesting, to be sure, but Derpy's better and easier to work with and make more and at no point does it ever feel wrong.

Can't really do that with others.

~Skeeter The Lurker

In regards to this, author, I loved it.

Every last word.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Two main reasons, probably.
One, she was the first background pony to become a fan favorite, so everyone instantly knows who you're talking about, making the story have a much wider appeal as a result.
Two, the whole situation with her being "controversial" and "offensive" was one of the first times the fandom truly rallied as a whole, so...she's basically become the mascot of bronydom in her own way. That might also explain it.

Well, first of all, considering I've been toying with this fic idea since way back in the early days of the fandom, making it an actually rather dated idea originally, I think I can get a pass on this, personally. :rainbowlaugh:

...But you might as well ask why people are so obsessed about Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch, or any of the other very popular background ponies while you're at it. It's luck of the draw, really, mixed with the fact that the bronies were quickly able to come up with memorable backstories for them even when the show never did likewise, backstories of the sort that just quickly stick with you and give them much more life than ever originally intended, ascending them in a lot of ways beyond mere background pony status, even while still staying in said background.

In Derpy's case, she was literally the first of them all, making her first "real" appearance in the very first episode, and was so well remembered for it than even the show's staff fell in love with her and started playing along too. She is perhaps the most deliberately utilized of all of the background ponies, period.

Honestly, you'd probably be better off asking why wouldn't the fandom be so obsessed with her at that point? :raritywink:

Besides, she's such a lovable character--what's not to like? :twilightsmile:

In any case, she found herself anticipating the meeting with growing anticipation, if just so to resolve this little mystery.

I anticipate confirmation from the author that this redundancy was unintentional? :rainbowlaugh:

Soon her breakfast was soon placed before her,

How soon? :facehoof:

... so ... Is this going to expand beyond this neat and wonderful one shot?

This was good! I liked it!

like the idea, it be funny if other ponies were like Ditzy, like zephyr breeze equestria spy master, flim and flam royal fraud investigators etc

Daaaaaang it, I'm 0 for 2 on that, aren't I? :facehoof: Knew I should've reviewed the whole fic from start to finish just one more time before posting...

In any case, fixed both instances.

I did have an idea for something of a brief epilogue that jumps ahead in time to where Twilight is congratulating Gallus on becoming captain of the guard before proceeding to introduce him to Ditzy, revealing to his similar shock that she had been in the background watching over him and his friends much the same way she had for Twilight and her friends...but as that would've been essentially repeating the same premise, I opted not to do it.

Beyond that, no, I don't have any plans to do any expansions on the idea at present, mostly because I need that time to focus on other more pressing projects I've been putting off. But I fully grant there is potential--I suppose I wouldn't be against it if somebody else wanted to take the idea and do their own spin with it at some point. :twilightsmile:

Be fun to see a variant of this where it’s a whole team of background ponies.

“It’s just illusion magic making me look like a bat pony at a moment because I’m in uniform. You know, like how the Day Guard has the armor that magically makes them all look alike? It’s the same for the Night Guard—the batwings are just their trademark look.”

That's a cool concept. I mean, so many people have made thestrals/noctus ponies their own race, but just like I'm sure there are ponies in the Royal Guard that actually are gray and/or white in reality and the others just get armor that matches, I'm sure it's the same case with the Night Guard.

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Wait…Amethyst Star is your sister?”
“Yup!” Ditzy said with a grin. “But I admit, it’s probably not that obvious—Amethyst took after Dad a lot more than I did.

Y'know, I'd seen other fics/ideas where Amethyst was also Ditzy's daughter, so Derpy just happened to have two unicorn daughters, but given Amethyst's likely age based on how she looks when we've seen her, this makes a TON more sense.

“Do you actually love muffins that much…or was that just part of the cover?”
Ditzy smirked back and leaned forward. “Lemme put it this way, your highness,” she replied. “I have a mental list of things I put high priority on in my life. And muffins are absolutely in the top five of that list.”

You can't fake an obsession like that. :derpytongue2:

I love it! :yay: Ditzy's always been one of my background favorites, and I love seeing fanfics of her.

This was such a fun little story. I love it when our favorite cross-eyed mailmare gets to show some hidden depths.

Ditzy is always the hero.

this is a grate one shot i am impressed.

To be clear, there are still actual bat ponies in the Night Guard, it's simply not just bat ponies in their ranks--they hire from other tribes too. :twilightsmile: The batwings are just part of the uniform, as it were.

Early in writing though, I had it so that Ditzy never had the batwings to begin with, on the idea that the Night Guard didn't discriminate, but then decided I wanted to keep it consistent with the cover art and adjusted accordingly.

Nice concept! And that was a very nice way of ending it. Awesome story! :derpytongue2:

Undercover Night Derp is Best Derp. :derpytongue2:

Equestria's muffin loving protector.

That was a fun read and very creative. Thank you for writing it.

A fascinating concept—Goodness knows I'm always up for a competent Best Pony—but I can't help but feel it would've been a lot more engaging to actually see Ditzy on the job over the years, with the breakfast reveal acting as an epilogue. As is, between the slow opening and the mountains of dialogue, this just doesn't grab me. It's a summary of a more interesting story.

... Oh. Just noticed the author's note. :derpytongue2: Fair enough. If you don't have the time, you don't have the time. I appreciate you at least seeing the idea through to this degree.

I actually agree with your assessment though, and had thought repeatedly the fic really needed more of a hook than I was giving it. I had even wondered if it wasn't going to perform well once posted for that reason (look at me being wrong :rainbowlaugh:). But every idea I had to fix that either entailed making it a much more elaborate tale that I just wasn't prepared to tackle currently, or would've ended leaving it screaming for a sequel I knew I wasn't likely to produce and didn't want to leave readers with the false hope for one. It was partly because of these concerns that it took so very long for the idea to finally become a reality in the first place.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I got the idea finished and out there in some form anyway, so there's that, and I'm totally cool with somebody else taking the same idea and running with it where I could not too. :twilightsmile:

Awesome idea! One thing stands out to me though: wasn't Ditzy the pony delivering mail between Tirek and Cozy Glow?

Not that was explicitly shown or established--Ditzy's only appearance in the School Raze finale was at the very start, and then she was delivering mail for the school on the whole and not explicitly Cozy (Cozy just happened to be the one in position to accept the delivery). She is not shown to directly interact with Cozy at any other time in the show, let alone that season, for mail related reasons or otherwise. Tirek is never shown getting his mail in-show, and is only established he was even getting mail at all through spoken dialogue. And as other mail carriers have shown to be in use both in and out of the Ponyville area, I think then that who was actually carrying said letters is probably open to interpretation.

I think a lot of fans have assumed as such in their own works, which is probably where you got the idea, and it's really not an unreasonable assumption, but the show never formally canonizes it as such, no.

That's a fair point. Maybe the mail carrier who delivered Tireks mail was evil, embittered at the main 6 after they left him in the chaos dimension and didn't invite him to birthday parties.

Ditzy still needs to explain why she didn't deliver Rarity's heart-warming gift to Applejack though. Clearly an Appledash shipper.

Well, she's still not perfect, so there was still instances where it was just an honest mistake, which is what I figure happened with the incident where she smudged the address on Sugar Belle's Hearts and Hooves package.

Jeez, I could see Derpy becoming Captain of her own specific Guard contingent with what was established here. Who knows? Pretty good character development, honestly.

This is a good story. The characterization is believable. And, the idea of Ditzy Doo as a covert guard is a fun twist.

All in all: well done.

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