• Member Since 3rd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 20th, 2018

Kishin


"Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?" - Kurt Vonnegut

T
Source

Meet Cyr. He's one of the last of his breed: A Changeling Behemoth, living battering rams that are selected and mutated from the worker caste of the Hive. Aged from centuries of labor and service to his Queen, he grows disgusted and weary of the Changeling's plots and malevolent attempts to feed on love, especially after his capture during the Canterlot wedding. Thus begins a new (and possibly more enjoyable) chapter of his existence.

Chapters (20)
Comments ( 1209 )

Very interesting...:trixieshiftleft:
Can't wait for more :pinkiehappy:

Nice! You've earned a favorite. Also, props points for originality.

I kinda wondered if someone was gonna make something like this. I'll give it a shot, don't screw this up :pinkiecrazy:

You have my intrest.
Keep it coming.

You have my attention. Don't dissapoint.

You have my interest. Treat it well and feed it regular chapters.
You might just get more than a reader out of me yet.

Hmm. Not bad. I'll be keeping an eye on this.:moustache:

1217943

:pinkiegasp: You really mean it? [mare-ish squeal]

Unfortunately with the amount of school work I have (why did I have to bucking take all AP classes this year?) and I'm working on a short one-shot atm (this story got delayed because of tag contradiction or whatever its called) so I might not get back to this story for a while (give or take a few days)

But don't worry. This will get my full attention after I finish that one-shot today.

1216983

Thanks bro!

I'll try not to let you guys down!

1217094

My brain thanks you for the props. :pinkiesmile:

1217173

I'll try to maintain that interest of yours :twilightblush:

BTW, lovin that profile pic. I wish I could be that badass....:raritydespair:

1217488

Hmmmm...so if you're the tracker....then I must be the trackee?

The hunter will become the hunted tonight!:pinkiecrazy:

1220409

Oh my Gosh! THE Hank J. Wimbleton? Liking my story? [faints]

1220735

Yessuree! Sad that he decided to end the series tho :flutterrage:

1220788 He hasn't ended the series :pinkiegasp:
There's going to be an eleven an possible more :rainbowkiss:

1220822

Really? Well i've been clearly misinformed :rainbowderp:

1220822
WAIT! The madness series? Here? Interesting. I too am a fan. Eleven you say?
This must be looked into.

Two great new stories in one day? Don't overwork yourself, man! Also, the behemoth (or as I like to call it, Behemy) sorta reminds of the Big Daddies from Bioshock.

1228219

I made two stories in one day?

Oh yeah....time differences :facehoof:

Well thanks man! And yes, "Behemy" kinda reminds me of a talkative Big Daddy...just without the giant drill. :pinkiehappy:

Sorry for the wait. Had a slight case of writer's block.

Tell me if you guys like where the story is going (And don't worry. Cyr, the Behemoth, isn't dead) :ajsmug:

1245501of course not, or there would have been alot of hate mail...

I am liking this, but for a second there I thought you killed him or something... And don't worry about making us readers wait. After all, you're writing the story.:twilightsmile:

Considerable need of spellcheck.

ISS

I love this! Moar! Moar!

1245775

Thank you for understanding! :pinkiehappy:

1245882

Fixed some errors. Sorry, but next time could you point out some of the grammatical errors next time you see them?

It makes the editing process so much more easier (for me, my pre-readers, and my editor)

Thank you and enjoy the story, you adorable little Grammar Nazi, you! :pinkiesmile:

P.S. I have nothing against my fellow Grammar Nazis!

:pinkiegasp: Mother of Celestia... this is beautiful...

:moustache: Keep up the good work my good sir.

1252002

Thank you for the appreciation! and the mustache.....:pinkiehappy:

Well I wouldn't personally describe this as beautiful, but I'm glad your enjoying it! :twilightsmile:

Hell yeah! New Chapter!......At the risk of sounding like an ass, any idea when the next chapter will be? Or rather, is there a schedule for this story?

Mabye it's just that I, as a reader, know that Cyr is a victim of circumstance. Mabye I just think that the princesses are already like this. But seriously, in situations like this they SEEM to be bigoted asses. (Pun intended):pinkiecrazy:

i'm eager to see where this is going

1276115

Nah you don't sound like an ass. I get a little douche-y when it comes to chapter releases too.

This was actually pretty short. I'm working on the next one right now, so expect another one tomorrow.

Sorry for the wait. I'm getting gang-raped with work and my AP classes. :rainbowderp:

But anyway, thanks for reading! :yay:

1276137

Sorry for, again, supplementing a piece of fiction on this site that supports the whole "The-princesses-are-a-pair-of-complete-bitches" stereotype. But again, Luna is still pissed that Cyr kinda charged her through a city block and prevented her from saving Celestia.....

oh well

AND ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? I FINALLY RELEASED A CHAPTER!!!!!!

:raritydespair::raritycry:

Hey, I overheard you mentioning that you encourage people to point out spelling and grammar errors in your story, so I thought I'd help out.

"Celestia could only ask, "You wanted die?"

Pretty sure that's self explanatory. :ajsmug:

Oh, also, one more minor nitpick. (Sorry! :fluttershyouch:)

I think it's a bit awkward when you write out AJ's dialect in her writing. I mean, it's just my opinion, but I think that you should just write it normally, and leave it to the readers to fill in her accent.

Other than that, though, I really, really like this story. The way everything is described makes it really easy to envision what you had in mind in terms of voices and visual effects and the like. Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

1276245

Thanks! I'll edit that straightaway!

This one was pretty short, so I'm releasing another one either tonight or tomorrow!

Cheers! And Thanks for reading!

1276383

Oh and I'll release another chapter tonight.

Be ready to feel all of your feels.

Oh goodie goodie! A new chapter! ... Um, how would they wrap his entrails on a pike when the Changelings are insect-like? They would most likely have to coat the pike in his bodily goo... :pinkiesick: Ew.

Login or register to comment