• Member Since 7th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

Vulpibard


Watching life pass in a blur.

T

"Reconditus Lunar Dominus. You stand accused of high treason, conspiracy against the very foundations of our kingdom and several attempted invasions that have resulted in the destruction of countless innocent lives. How do you plead?"

I still remember that moment. My accusations were the last thing I ever heard before coming to this... abomination of a land. Of course I plead guilty. They did catch me in the act, and denying it would help little. They sentenced me to execution by vorpal blade- a fate given to only the most troublesome creatures. Fortunately I had a failsafe- a powerful spell I had invented for just this occasion, though it's exact formula was experimental at best. I should have predicted I'd end up in some pastel playground.


Edit! :
For those new readers out there, I am currently going through and heavily editing this entire fanfiction after a near eternity of hiatus. I will be trying to post what chapters I've finished on a weekly basis, but some are longer than others. To my older readers who are returning, I am sorry for the inconvenience but I want to put my absolute best work forward and be absolutely certain of where I am in the story- I hope you'll keep reading and enjoy it even more once the newer chapters roll out!

Until then, look for me in the author's notes, or shoot me a message!

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 57 )

That was a pretty good read! ^_^ You have a good handle of the flow of the story as well as the writing of the characters. There are some grammatical errors, but those are easily fixed! I'd say it was worth the time it took to read and that's all that matters! Keep going and you can only get better! :D

\)

1596438 thanks for that vote of confidence :pinkiehappy:
(\
also, do you mind pointing out a few of the errors?

1604550

I sent you a message on iBrony with edits and explanations, sorry for the late reply!

Well, well, well.... Consider this already read. Oh, how I love, love, love sadistic and evil spell casters.

I still have no idea what's going on.

Herm......world domination/destruction?

"We're sorry, the Elements are in another castle."

Comment posted by Vulpibard deleted Feb 4th, 2013
Comment posted by Vulpibard deleted Mar 20th, 2013

Zecora's gonna help him kill ponies?

2084624
Of course not.
She's going to teach him how to resurrect a living being so he can kill it over and over again.

Fuck yes, 500 words and BAM just like that your character has a purpose, a driving force in his life.

Next chapter and as promised a we're looking at things through a new perspective.
I'm not really expecting much from this chapter, so throw all the criticism and rotten food you want at me and I'll see how I can improve.

2090162
Yes, ugh, I know. I actually saw that coming.
And you know what? after hindsite I'm proballly going to agree with you and change it to a unicorn.
edit; actually, no, on second hindsight, I think an alicorn IS the best rival for reconditus, but maybe not an OC, hows Luna sound?
Im probably going to rewrite the entire chapter anyway, so id like an honest oppinion.

2090273 I'll make a blog post for voting.

2090273 Luna is vastly underrated, both in canon and fanon. And since we're on the whole royalty and alicorn thing I think Luna will be a more suitable choice (personal favourite Princess along with Twilight yes, that's a thing happening...). Besides, she's the kind of princess that wants to put matters into her own hooves. And putting her up against a humanoid turned pony who apparently don't have all his powers but is still powerful would most likely make a good read.

2092744
Well, the blogs up and voting ends tuesday, plenty of time for my brain to rest.
http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/124608/second-character-voting

Comment posted by Vulpibard deleted Feb 18th, 2013

Well, I'm burnt out from this last weekend, so i'll make it short and something or other.The added perspective is nice, there was a lot of fleshing the world out for such a short chapter. We learned that Luna is relatable, may have a gambling problem, and she may 'regularly' meet with Vinyl and Octy. Magic (cards) exists in this universe as well. No real complaints you didn't address yourself, but nothing was wowing me either. 7/10. :pinkiesmile:

2143654
Thanks :twilightsmile:
I would have given myseelf less....maybe a three:trixieshiftleft:

But it's good to see someone appreciates it at least a little.
"I dont blieve in me, I believe in the you that believes in me."

Comment posted by Lord Charles deleted Mar 30th, 2013

Fwy... why has he not reverted to his original features?

2396213 the main character of your story.

2396223
Several possible reasons, one of which his potentially stronger magic energy(overload of magic), another his casting a spell at the same time as teleporting, (multiple spells on one target), maybe the spell that brought his "friends" there wasn't targeting him, so had different results, or maybe the universe just doesn't like him.
(Can't say which it is, yet :twilightsmile:)

if you meant the pink foal to be Diamond Tiara then you got her species wrong shes an earth pony not a unicorn.

2396812
T.T I am informed late, the plot has already been planned....:raritycry:
Oh well, wonderful world of fanfic, she is now a unicorn:rainbowdetermined2:
That might not work, huh?:facehoof:
You didn't see anything...:applejackconfused:

2397221
In other words, I have honestly no idea how to react to this news, other than that this fanfic is now not cannon....

Bring in Dinky Hooves she is a unicorn.

2397480
Okay, one vote Dinky.
Any other Ideas? Voting has now started.

2397503
Yeah, screw it, never listen to me on the comments thread, I dont know what I'm talking about.
Anywho, I weighed the prose and conmen, and deduced the effects of various characters on the plot and other characters, and came up with the following conclusion;
Fanfic writing is hard! it's alot easier to just write my own story with my own characters!
but also, there was this;
It would be alot easier if Tiara was a unicorn, but since she isn't, I had to look further into the characters for what I wanted, and actually agree with gumgum (TY by the way) Dinky would probably be best for the story.
Also, thanks Cadmium for bringing this err to my attention.
Yes I'm useing this comment as a note from the author,
No, I won't make it more noticable, if people want updates, they can read the comments once or twice.
Yes, I will be rewriting the chapter now.
:pinkiesick: To much talking on my part... :pinkiesick:

I really want to kill your main character. Like, extreme desire to peel the hide from his body levels.

2432791
I'll count that as a success
:yay:

2087977
Huh, guess I forgot to thank you at the time...
Oh well, better late than never;
A much belated thanks to you.

I don't understand.
"~No humans were ponified during the making of this story~"
Is that sarcasm? Because I need to know whether or not reading further will be a waste of time.
I'm currently on the first chapter and he's a "horse." Does this stay? :\

EDIT: I can't get through the first chapter. Transitions are choppy as Hell and there's no connection between scenes; furthermore, I can usually read through basic punctuation and grammar mistakes, pardon me, but I can't handle atrocities such as this.
All of this wouldn't have meant anything if it weren't for the fact you (VulpiBard) put 'Human' in the tags. Why even bother if the, supposed main character, is only human for what seems like a flash back? What's the point? Also why say no humans are "ponified" when the "main character" is very clearly turned into a pony at the beginning. There's no point. Too get more people to view your story? Why?
I'm sure this would have been a great story if it was just a dark "mage" that was human. But oh well.
Anyway, that's my justification for giving this story a thumbs down. Just thought I would explain as just thumbing it down would be useless.

2825270
Heh, thanks! it's been a while since I got constructive criticism, I'll keep that in mind as I continue writing other chapters.

And the "No humans" bit was actually a joke, as in Reconitus' home world, humans make less than one-tenth the population (like earthponies in equestrian) and the mage, though seeming to be human lived for hundreds of years and denies being one so the only option is that he's not likely a human.

All the other people from his world that went into Equestra *Spoiler Alert* were not ponified,

As for the first chapter, I know it's choppy and bad, it was written on the fly and didn't receive any editing. It's meant to be an optional read to give you some backstory of the character. (Although I should probably put *Optional* on the chapter name)

The human tag is to tell you there are humans and humanoids in the story, as well as an entire world to be alluded to populated by such beings.

Once again thanks for your critique! :twilightsmile:

2836805
The possibility of a clarification note next to "~No humans were ponified during the making of this story~" would be greatly appreciated. For sarcasm carries very badly through text.

Ahh... Man it was soooo long ago, that I don't remember what the Heck is going on... It would help if you put some recall in begining

UPDATE!

Long time since last chapters been posted, the first chapters feel too rushed and creativity sapped. Since I don't have an editor I have to go through the story and look for errors myself anyway, so at the same time as doing that, I'm going to revise this fanfic. The whole thing.

This will likely take more than one week but I'll be keeping my word from my blogs, If you want to read anything by me between the updates you an check out my other story Second Chances.

That last thought is what I think every night before I fall asleep, and realize there's something I forgot to do.

Heh, I still remember that moment. My accusations were the last thing I heard from another being before coming to this... abomination of a land. I of course plead guilty, they did catch me in the act, not that it mattered. Soon after I was sentenced to death by the sword, I whipped up a powerful teleportation spell to get me as far from that land as possible. Should have known I'd end up in a pastel playground.

Not transmutation then why is he a pony?

4181307 Something went wrong with the spell that he just thought was a side effect

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