• Published 5th Jan 2013
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Reconditus - Vulpibard

Lunaris- a once legendary sorcerer- is now trapped in a peaceful world of ponies. Oh the irony.

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Ch. 1: In principio finis

"You're going to burn for this, you son of a nighthawk." The prone figure before me roared through his own blood. He probably would have been intimidating had I not snapped his spinal cord five seconds prior.

On second thought he wasn't intimidating before that, either.

"Oh I think I will enjoy that. Why don't you try first and tell me how it feels?" I kindly offered. With a methodical twist and gesture of my hand, I was able to draw a small degree of joy watching his body writhe left and right as it was slowly engulfed in fire.

Ah those were the days, I thought to myself, and perchance they will be again.

I inhaled a cool, fresh breath of air and stretched my limbs, delighting in the prickles of rich, healthy grass. I may have packed too much energy into the teleportation incantation, as it had sent my flying onto my back. My energy felt emptied to its dregs, with only a few sparks of power left in its normally limitless basin. Obviously it was a narrow getaway, but I managed it.

I didn’t bother counting the seconds as I soaked up the sunlight. It was a nice change in pace from the whirlwind of combat, chains and plotting that had filled my prior days. But hopefully soon I would be magnifying it one thousand fold on the fools responsible. Some time later, I finally put in the effort to pull myself into a sitting position. I began to run my fingers through the fertile ground but shortly stopped- Something felt off. After a moment I simply shrugged it aside and resumed. It could simply be a numbness caused by the overcharge.

I opened my eyes and looked around at my surroundings. Such a wonderful world felt almost too good to destroy. Almost. The land I was in was so bright, so cheerful. From the beautiful, flowered green fields beneath to the clear blue sky above. It was so filled with magic it was practically buzzing with power.

This all came to one unfortunate close when I saw the state of my arms. Or lack thereof.

My hands had vanished. In their place were two plump, grey, bludgeons of stumps. Looking at my legs I found similar results.

Intriguing, I pondered. I seemed to be some form of equine. A strange condition, given I was certain there were no transmogrification elements to my failsafe spell. A pity there were so few horses able to use magic. I was briefly worried this development may have been enough to stop me cold, or at least slow me considerably, but I would recover. And then I looked up.
There was a time when anybody who survived prolonged contact with me felt that if I made much more than a sarcastic comment or swift incantation it would signal the end times. Then surely it must have been the end, because what I saw next made my blood run cold, and a sound more befitting of a toddler in swaddling diapers escaped my throat.

A horn poked from my forehead.l through my red mane. Not a demonic set nor an oni’s stump, but an elegant, spiral lance that could only belong to one creature.

I was a unicorn.

“Patience, Dominus. Do not lose yourself.” I took a moment to breath. “It might not be so bad. Sure, I'm the symbol of purity, innocence and… gag, healing-" I still refuse to believe restoration is a valid school of magic. “-But at least now I know I can still use magic. Though I may need to get creative.” I ponderously sood to my hoofs. Was it possible to kill somebody with excessive positive energy? Of course, that’s when I looked downward.

"How the hell am I going to gesticulate?"


The sky, as I said, was clear of clouds and the sun shone directly overhead as a trumpet declaring the noon time. Which coincidentally meant I couldn’t tell north from south. Behind me was a dark forest- a sight I enjoyed, but it likely held no civilization. Still, I could trace it's edge to navigate.

Closing my eyes I began to explore my mind, running a mental checklist of my new body.

I assumed my eyes were still their natural green, since my hair hadn’t changed color. My fur was also the same charcoal grey of my robes from before, and my earlier outburst also showed this form could talk- though that wasn't strange for a unicorn. I could assume by the vibrant colors and cheerful energy that this was a very different world though. It felt much happier, and more peaceful. Now I just needed to find a village or city and discover more.

I wandered along the tree line for about three hours, eyes clasped on the shadows and sky until I found my bearings. I was heading in an eastward direction, if vaguely. And provided this world had the same solar cycle as my previous home.

I couldn't help but speed up my pace to a steady canter. The speed of this form was at least slightly admirable, but what I needed now was either a library or a secluded homestead to learn more about my new body and domain. My patience paid off once I saw a town fast approaching. It was small, but developed enough to warrant caution. There could be any number of mages or difficult adventuring types living within.

However to my boundless irritation no sooner had I begun approaching than my stealthy entrance was interrupted by a high pitched squeal from next to me. I looked hastily around before finding the noise's source; three short, pre-adolescent horses.

One of them squealed again and I lifted my hoof in surprise. The fillies, as I assumed that’s what they were, were strange specimens. Their ocular growth caused their eyes to nearly cover their entire head, a head which had far outgrown their bodies. It was a wonder they could even stand.

The coloration was the less confusing aspect of them, though it still gave me a pause. The one in front had an orange coat and purple mane, styled almost like a youngling from Gaia; the short and windswept look alluded to a fast paced, valkyrie-esque living style among the clouds. Purple eyes were also noted. Behind her was a yellow filly with a red mane and oversized bow and a white one with a purple/pink mane. And a horn. Were unicorns common here?

After the third ear bleeding squeal, I realized they were speaking words.

"Hey, mister! How'd you get that awesome cutie mark?" The one to the right asked. The fact she was talking wasn’t a surprise, I had moved beyond that point after my earlier break-down.

And I was much less interested by the term 'cutie mark' than I was by the wings on her back. Pegasi were not all too common either where I was from, being a race that lived in the sky with- Ah yes, my valkyrie allusion was accurate then. And even more importantly, I knew I wouldn’t be running out of certain components for a while.

Snapping out of the thought, I followed her dexterous foreleg to my flank. Only now did I notice what was tattooed there- three different coloured comets chasing each other around an abstract skull. Interesting.

"I assume it is for my experiments in magic." I commented, and they snickered briefly, "Is something an issue?"

"You talk funny," the yellow one responded rather bluntly.

"I speak the same way as anyone who comes from my home." At their continued amusement, I added with a raised eyebrow; "Is there a different way to speak here?"

"Yeah, like you didn't just come out of a history book," the orange one responded this time.

"Ah, I see. So you do have literature," Impressive, they seemed rather young to have access to a library but who was I to judge?

They raised their eyebrows at the exact same time- a synchronicity that almost set me on edge. They were practically triplets.

"Well yeah we got books. Mah sister's friend Twilight owns the library just in town."

"Really?" I stroked my chin for what seemed the fifth time that day, "Then I shall pay a visit to this 'Twilight' and perhaps learn something of my location."

"Whatever," The pegasus rudely waved me off, "Come on, girls, we've got stuff to do." She announced before speeding away- closely followed by the one with the bow. The third, however, remained staring up at me until I turned to her.

"Are you not going to follow your friends?"

She perked up and seemed to realize where she was. Within the second she was dashing after the others and calling for them to wait up. I chuckled to myself and watched them leave; Children were always so carefree. But I didn't stay long. I turned back to the town and prepared myself for an exploration of the library.

Getting there was the hard part though. I had to wade through crowds upon crowds of more ponies, (seriously, was there not a single non-equine creature?) Not that it was much of a problem- they all seemed comfortable standing at a respectful distance. All but one plain, yellow pony who ran up to me the second I passed her stall.

"Hello, sir! You look new in town! I was wondering, since you're so new, why not try our fresh produce? We sell the best vegetables this side of Canterlot..." By the end of her first line I was already drowning her out.

A merchant. Good for a laugh, but seldom much else.

"...And everypony knows how good carrots can be, they help your eyesight, hold various vitamins and minerals, provide energy-"

I fixed her with my most disarming smile and held up a hoof- though the grin seemed enough to silence her on its own. Perhaps I could use a laugh right now.

"As it turns out, these carrots sound delightful. So many fascinating uses, correct?" I trotted over to her stall.

"Yes! I knew you would see it that way! How many would you like? We have a special deal if you buy more than a dozen."

I chuckled to myself. Multiple uses for food, what a farce. They were good for eating and for research, nothing else. But a deal would be nice- in fact I had a delicious one already in mind.

"I am a bit strapped for currency right now, miss-” I explained and saw her smile falter, but not quite vanish.

“Golden Harvest." She introduced herself. "I'm the local carrot farmer here in Ponyville."

Ponyville… and a name like Golden Harvest. I looked around at all the villagers around me. All ponies. Were all of their naming conventions so on-the-nose?

Turning back to Ms. Harvest, I took a moment to regard her. She looked earnest enough. And she had an honest, albeit strained, smile. Something I found equal parts admirable and unique for a merchant. Perhaps this would work in my favor.

I glanced again at her stall: overflowing with carrots despite the late hour. The prices were also visibly painted over. A bit for four, two bits for the dozen; if she wasn't desperate for customers, I didn't know who was. Granted I had no other information about their currency, but I could assume it was roughly the same as a copper coin back home. I saw no sign of other coinage trading hands so it can’t have been greater.

“Perhaps a deal, Ms. Harvest.” She clearly needed one. And while normally I would burn down her stall without a second thought, there were far better ways to introduce my presence to this ‘Ponyville’. “I need a job while I’m here and you need customers. If you’ll have me I’d be pleased to help you sell your wares. In return all I ask for is money and, perhaps, a place to stay."

She glances back at her own stall, then back at me. I felt my eyes roll in their sockets.

"I'm happy to take carrots in place of money, if that's an issue."

Golden Harvest didn’t even blink twice before throwing her foreleg out. “Deal!" she says, almost shouting.

Author's Note:

Better late than never!

I had fully intended to post this chapter before last tuesday, but by the time I was finished editing, I realized I had skipped the entire first half. So after an additional week of work, school and writing here it is!

On the bright side, that means I should have the next part done by the end of the week.

Stay tuned!