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the fate of Equestria is in danger and celestia finds out a secret that was kept from her and Luna about a brother that they had no idea existed. Now with the help of princess Twilight and her friends they must find him in order to fight off an old foe who was know to be dead. Celestia's long lost brother may be Equestria's last hope...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Get an editor.
13 likes and not a single comment, seems fishy
5172191
First he needs originality.
5172398
It's surprising that this has any upvotes at all, other than the obligatory one from the writer himself.
5172712
I disagree. I find it much easier to read unimaginative dreck such as this when it's properly punctuated and capitalized, and there aren't incredibly baffling errors like splitting Fluttershy's name into two words. (I mean, how hard is it to get right a detail as basic as that one? Her name is all over the site! It's all over the fandom! A quarter-second glance is all it would take -- not even real research -- to show someone that it's one word, not two!)
I like it.
All you need is an editor!
yeah I'll keep that in mind
That is so good!
Is it bad that I actually recognized where that picture came from as soon as I saw it
no i just means u like SAO i mean who doesn't?
this story is getting interesting. please keep updating
Great story, keep this going
I love this!!
This story was brought to my attention again... and oh, look: it's still very much in need of an editor.
There are numerous errors with punctuation, with capitalization, with grammar, with missing words, and it with word choice. (Here's one hint: the word "angle" is not the same as the word "angel".) The text is still littered with errors that shouldn't be made by anyone over age eleven, and worst of all, you keep getting character names wrong.
Despite my note from months ago, you haven't fixed Fluttershy's name; you're still writing it as "Flutter Shy", and that is wrong, wrong, WRONG! And you've managed to make the very same mistake with Applejack's name as well. Why are you writing at all when you obviously don't give a damn about what you actually write?
5283259
Many people after the first few episodes
[youtube=YmHi_BLh3Mw]
Why would you use a cover clearly from Sword Art Online if this isn't a crossover with it?
5283259
People with taste.
SAO had a great premise to explore the human condition while still being a deep action saga. Instead, the first (and most solid season) is mostly Kirito, the most shameless self insert Mary Sue I've ever seen in a successful franchise, dicking around and being overpowered and perfect.
The first three episodes showed us potential, but that potential was wasted after the fourth and onward derailed everyone's character arcs and the main plot to write bad fanfiction of itself.
An editor wouldn't hurt...
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/127/1/3/thor_and_mlp_meme_for_fimfic_by_ponpheonix-d64fsvg.jpg
Really good chapter also keep it up
:3 i want more :3
I AM GOING TO SAY THIS HERE AND NOW YOU MUST WRITE MORE
I am going to say this one more time PLEASE FINISH THIS AWESOME STORY
I really hope that we will see the next chapter really soon. Cause this story is fantastic
YAY
MORE CHAPTERS (and no I am not a child my comment is completely mature)
BTW I love this story so please don't stop writing
Talking sword...okay then, where was this idea first introduced, did you miss a chapter that explains the purpose of the sword that Twilight has in her hands.
You're leaving your readers confused here, that's not a good sign.
Update
Red Bull gives you wiiings.
I SHIP THEE DISLESTIA