• Member Since 30th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago


A guy. A guy who writes stories. Stories about ponies. (And sometimes robots).



Flash Sentry: hero, heart breaker ... and self-admitted coward. For the first time, he details his own undeserved rise to heroism (as well as the trouble such a reputation brings him) in his own words.

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 91 )

Is this... Flash as Ciaphas Cain?!


More like Flash as Harry Flashman, but the same thing, really. Just less chainsaw swords. :)


I was hoping someone would write this! :pinkiehappy:

I'm really enjoying where this is going.

Adding the footnotes under the paragraph they are for would be better for those of us on mobile.

Keeping a eye on this please continue

Oh Boy, I do hope that Flash can figure a way to get out of this, he really should just resign from being a guard altogether.

Fat chance of that. :trollestia:

This continues to be extremely amusing, Tumbleweed. More! :rainbowkiss:

How do you solve the problem of Flash Sentry?
How do you ship a character so bland?
"Perhaps he'd be more en vogue
If he were a charming rogue--"
But how do you make a stone heart out of sand? ...

Nicely done!

Ship every pairing!
Crack every fic!
Pair them with your OC
Even if he's a well you get the idea.

So far so good, but now that Flash has gotten those Scar's now why doesn't he just up and leave and shave off the mustache too, then he just sends in his papers to be discharged or just inform the Princess what Fancy Pants is up too and that he wants nothing to do with it.

Ah, tradition! And Flash manages to derail things simply by, well, being there.

Still, not too badly... yet. :pinkiehappy:

I'm hooked now.

One point that I'm not sure if it was intentional or not: When Flash compares himself to an "etymologist", the word he really wants is "entomologist". If that’s supposed to be a mistake on Flash's part, it might be worth another footnote from the editor.

What a shame that such a superb story should have so many downvotes - presumably as a direct result of The Curse of Flash. I take it this is a deliberate homage to Flashman?

Really, Ninja's just show up at that point, you have to be bucking Kidding me, just how much LUCK does Flash have anyway to get out of these kinds of jams, I mean really just how is he able to get through all of this and still stay sane. Though I wonder what's going to happen to him next, and tell me will he get back at Fancy, Fleur and Golden Harvest in some way, because I would love to see them have something bad happen to them in some way for all of what they put Flash through.

Comment posted by Tumbleweed deleted Jan 25th, 2017


Yup! Royal Flash, specifically, which is a riff on The Prisoner of Zenda. Once I realized the pun of a title, I just had to write it. :)

7895175 Ah, I haven't read that, though I did enjoy Zenda. Nice to see someone who reads the classics!

You're missing something after "aching cheek. “That's … not going to [...]"

Following Raymond Chandler's law, I see.

Flash as a Fake Ultimate Hero? Sounds good to me, and the story thus far is magnificently executed. Eagerly looking forward to more.

Well this has been a interesting read. :rainbowhuh: looking foward to see how Flash bumble out of this one. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm going to echo 7896042 and point out the following:

“Airic, you made it, so good to see you.” I repeated, by rote. I frowned, and rubbed at my aching cheek. “That's … not going to

Soon thereafter, you will leave the reception, out of … eagerness to spend time with your new bride. Just stay in your chambers with the princess, and I'll make sure that Airic doesn't get too suspicious.”

There appears to be something missing here.

Flash has a point. Golden and company do seem to lowball what qualifies as need-to-know information. Of course, had Flash known what was waiting for him in Perchertania, he'd have sooner charged the gates of Yakyakistan with nothing but a rusty spoon.

In any case, it's back into the fray for him, whether he likes it or not. Hopefully the inverse ninja law will apply all the more in their hive.

Agreed. It was very satisfying to see him standing up to GH's constant bullying.

Also, I wonder if Auric also thinks they are in a relationship. His words could imply that.

“Funny,” I mused aloud, “I thought the screaming and evil laughter came after the wedding.”

I see Flash has had the same experience with weddings as I have. I wonder how many brush-fires the Greenfire Wedding set off on the slopes around Canterlot?

Golden Harvest as a covert operative with a specialty in hoof-to-hoof combat?

Hell, I made my Cup Cake a foreign-service 'operative', I can't throw stones, I suppose. (Although the longer I put the younger Miss Cake through the wringer, the more I wonder just how much the elder Mrs. Cake is suppressing in her second life as a simple towns-square baker. Mr. Cake's jittery nerves can double easily enough as either PTSD or just the colt being a nervy sort.)


I know explaining one's own jokes makes them ... not jokes, but I've actually been waiting to use this gag ever since the blind bags came out. It may be going a bit TOO deep with the reference, but hey, this is a MlP/Flashman mashup, so I probably passed that point a long, long time ago.

7945313 One side of my brain was aware that Golden Harvest the Hong Kong film production/distribution outfit was a thing... and then never made the connection with the fanfic reading side of things. :facehoof:

I'm sure the old roommate who watched Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan movies religiously would have gotten it immediately, if he had ever wandered into pony. But I'm pretty sure he never did.

Woman? What's that?

Also, * for footnotes doesn't work that well, especially in the longer chapters like the first one. See https://www.fimfiction.net/group/204517/footnotes-of-awesome/thread/124465/how-do-you-place-footnotes for some other suggestions.


Ooo, that's an interesting way to look at it. I' gonna have to give it a go!

I'm giving 3 to 2 odds that Ianthe is, herself, a stand-in. From a zebra faction who will use the substitution as justification for breaking the treaty and starting a war.

I wonder how many here are familiar with the novel this is in homage to

Loved this latest chapter, but I got to ask, are you going to make a sequel to this story and if so how long do you think it will be before you write it and post it, because I just got to know how Flash would react to stuff that happens after all this and during other chapter episodes.

“When can I shave off this damn mustache?”

Neeeeevarrrr! :moustache:

That last part with Flash and Carrot Top was really cute. :twilightblush: :heart:


Well, I miiiiiight tack on an epilogue, but at the moment I don't have any plans for a full sequel story. Though I suppose if I wanted to get really ridiculous, I could fiddle around with the EQG-verse again, which ... dangit you're actually giving me ideas now so we'll see how things go. Either way, it'll probably be awhile. :)

8056393 Well we are the people who comment on your stories and even give you idea's in these comments for either future chapters or future sequels. I still would like to see Flash try to get back at Fancy Pants and his people for putting him through all that, after all they went and put him through that training without even asking him if he would do it in the first place, they just went behind his back, talked with his higher ups to get him to do that mission.

Tremendous fun. I eagerly look forward to any more installments of this series that you have planned. And any that your muse springs on you.

it's a good thing she was wounded, as I'm fairly certain she would have murdered me by reflex otherwise

I suspect he might have been better-liked by the fandom if he had kept the mustache. :moustache:

“Saw them with my own eyes.” I nodded.
Airic's brow furrowed. “I didn't.”
“Well, I imagine that's the point. Ninjas and all.”

I mean, he's not wrong.

7945333 what connection? I gotta say I don't get it :rainbowhuh:

8056393 honestly, this needs an epilogue. Excellent and hilarious story, but the ending cries for something to follow. Maybe authors have spoiled us :derpytongue2:

Anyway, have a like and a fave. And now I need to read on Ciaphas Cain :facehoof:

8080271 Golden Harvest, the film company, distributes a vast number of Hong Kong king fu films, including a lot of the Jackie Chan standards. Thus, a version of Golden Harvest, the pony, who is a martial artist and hoof fu specialist.

And yeah, Ciaphas Cain is a fun series. Hard to find copies, though.

8033507 Share with us then. What's the reference?

I'm gonna leave this here just in case.
I want more of this. This was really good and the story was clearly set up for more (Flash has yet to win the Twilight medal or whatever).

At least, that is the current interpretation favored by the academic community, given the alternative of some anonymous sculptors and engineers putting years of effort and craftsmanship into a pee joke.

The worst part is that if you've read enough early and middle English literature, you'll quickly come to realise that they most likely did make those statues on the gutters as nothing more than an elaborate pee joke.

You'd think the bit about Flash's character being aloof and unapproachable would be part of his training.

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