• Member Since 1st Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen 31 minutes ago

Admiral Biscuit

"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."


There are times in a pony's life where she has to admit that as bad as things are, they're technically not terrible.

These are such times.

Trigger warning: Technically, not terrible.
Secondary trigger warning: Not Safe for GaPJaxie.

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 131 )

Explanatory blog post to follow, once the contest is actually over.

Explanatory blog post here!

Once again, DQed in the first round. :P

Is it wrong that I imagined the doghouse position? :pinkiecrazy:

Well I guess that was good. Hopefully she can find an outlet for her frustration better.

9793976 Well, I have to say that technically... it's not bad. :pinkiehappy:

So Scootaloo is Ringo. I can dig it.

My mental picture just cannot do this justice. Then again I think only Pinkie can out do the oddness.

I love these movies!

Yippie-ki-yay motherbucker

I hate it when I do that.

Enthusiasm and a basic sense of rhythm can get you far with a drum.

I'd try out for that sport in a heartbeat.

I feel like this is a rip on something.

Personally, I'd consider such a ruling quite terrible, but then I'm quite fond of peaches.

Give it to Twilight, she likes peaches.

Ask no questions and you shall receive no lies.

I miss my little drum box. It was a single drum stick connected by wire to a speaker box, and depending on the kind of material you hit it with it made a drum beat...

A sword? Wouldn't they use an axe?

I dunno, maybe?

You gotta use a sword for seppuku, so maybe that’s what’s appropriate.

Die Hard 1 and 2, then... not sure.


Sensei really does deserve a great special somepony. A nice, well-educated cuddler who composes sweet little notes in iambic pentameter and slips them in with her lunch each day.


Kids always want to go straight to the kit setup, wanting to run before learning to walk. Not even learning how to hold the stick in many cases.


Maybe Scootaloo and her friends can play Johnny Comes Marching Home during a live reading.


Uh. No. It's usually done with the tanto. The kaishakunin if one is available uses a sword.


And lasagnas. Clerks taught me that a sure sign of true love is a received lasagna.

Oh, my Celestia, Biscuit! You've created a sport where hamburgershayburgers are actually in the rules as controlled substances! Because clearly The Itis would be cheating in an Olympic Napathon.


Hey, now they don't have to eat each other. Rarity is one smrt marshmallow.

Now that's just silly, why would you need an axe to taste wine

The other chapters were crazy, but Rarity is the best pony so this one makes total sense.

It's deep references like this that make the Harshwhinny Cinematic Universe so compelling.

There's only like five (or sixish if you count 'y') vowels, so how important can they really be?

I mean, if noone in the audience noticed, surely it doesn't count, right?

*falls back asleep at work*

Wine tastings can get a little .. competitive in Ponyville

Pinkie surreptitiously pushed the sticks of dynamite under her seat. A Thompson machinegun was horrible at killing marine life, but Rarity looked like she needed to blow off a little steam. Maybe latter when the stars were out she'd show her how it was done properly.

I once had one of my Special effects guys miss a cue during final dress because he was playing Dora The Explorer. Our director had it installed on the computer for his kids to play during rehearsals.

We had a turntable in the stage that would slowly spin the actors for a "Kill Bill" dramatic effect. When the time came in final dress, the turntable didn't turn on when it was supposed to. 10 seconds later, you probably could have heard our Stage Manager's yell of frustration from orbit. She apparently called the booth and all she heard on the headset was the Backpack Song. Man, I miss live theater...

No Chapter 6, but the other chapters are still great. Technically, not terrible.

Actually the wakizashi is what is used for sepuku.

A timeless Hearth's Warming tale for all ages.

Delightful madness throughout. Far from terrible, and in the right direction. Thank you for it.

As a teacher, this is too real.

What madness did I just read Biscuit? :twilightoops:

Tanto were used too, although yeah, it’s mainly wakizashi that were used

These chapter went from realistic to ridiculous in an instant. I'm not complaining.


Well I guess that was good. Hopefully she can find an outlet for her frustration better.

She could always try gardening. I hear that’s relaxing.

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