• Published 22nd Aug 2019
  • 923 Views, 131 Comments

Technically, not terrible - Admiral Biscuit



There are times in a pony's life where she has to admit that as bad as things are, they're technically not terrible.

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Chapter 8: The Worst Possible Thing

Technically, not terrible
Chapter 8: The Worst Possible Thing

“This is the worst possible thing,” Rarity groused.

“I dunno,” Pinkie Pie replied. “This one time, at band camp—”

“I just dropped a stitch,” Rarity grumbled.

“Never mind that, row!” Pinkie looked in the water around them, where the unmistakable dorsal fins of sharks patrolled. “Why are you even sewing on a boat?”

“It’s what I do. It’s all I do; I’m prim and proper and a fashion horse and totally one dimensional.”

“Let it all out.”

“And that’s it.”

“Really?”

“No, not really.” Rarity reached under the pile of fabric and pulled forth a Thompson machine gun. “Die, motherfuckers!”

Her words were mostly lost in the rattle of the gun.

Pinkie sat in the stern and watched as the water turned into a pink froth. Yeah, it was bad for the sharks, but in terms of their own survival, it was technically not terrible.

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Comments ( 52 )

Explanatory blog post to follow, once the contest is actually over.

Explanatory blog post here!

Once again, DQed in the first round. :P

9793976 Well, I have to say that technically... it's not bad. :pinkiehappy:

I have so many questions.

9794079
Ask no questions and you shall receive no lies.

Rule six: There is no chapter six! :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

Hey, now they don't have to eat each other. Rarity is one smrt marshmallow.

The other chapters were crazy, but Rarity is the best pony so this one makes total sense.

Pinkie surreptitiously pushed the sticks of dynamite under her seat. A Thompson machinegun was horrible at killing marine life, but Rarity looked like she needed to blow off a little steam. Maybe latter when the stars were out she'd show her how it was done properly.

No Chapter 6, but the other chapters are still great. Technically, not terrible.

9794236
Actually the wakizashi is what is used for sepuku.

Jaxie's a bitch anyway.

Delightful madness throughout. Far from terrible, and in the right direction. Thank you for it.

What madness did I just read Biscuit? :twilightoops:

9794781
Tanto were used too, although yeah, it’s mainly wakizashi that were used

These chapter went from realistic to ridiculous in an instant. I'm not complaining.

9795426
Huh, so I was half right. Half her body is like I thought, just not bent over backwards. :derpytongue2:

Dan

9795465
Not Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence? Pleb.

9793992

Well, I have to say that technically... it's not bad. :pinkiehappy:

Thanks!

9794079

I have so many questions.

I have very few answers.

All I know is that Rarity has a vendetta against sea life.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/10/2/1263213.png

9794121

Ask no questions and you shall receive no lies.

Yes, exactly.

9794201

Rule six: There is no chapter six! :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

It took Jaxie a surprisingly long time to notice.

9794273

Hey, now they don't have to eat each other. Rarity is one smart marshmallow.

Yes, she is. And she’s got a machine gun.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/4/23/2020662.png

9794317

The other chapters were crazy, but Rarity is the best pony so this one makes total sense.

:heart:

9794427
If anypony could machine-gun sharks to oblivion, it would be Rarity. I’d trust her on this one. She’d know to only shoot at them when their heads were above the water.

9794781

Actually the wakizashi is what is used for sepuku.

I learn more every day. :heart:

9794914

Delightful madness throughout.

Thank you!

Far from terrible, and in the right direction. Thank you for it.

:heart:

9795088

What madness did I just read Biscuit? :twilightoops:

A prompt speedfic from Jaxie’s contest, written in an hour and completely unedited. In fact, I published before the voting was over.

9795299

These chapter went from realistic to ridiculous in an instant. I'm not complaining.

Heh, that’s how I roll. :heart:

9795448

Huh, so I was half right. Half her body is like I thought, just not bent over backwards. :derpytongue2:

Like, I didn’t have that specific image in mind, but now that I’ve found it on Derpibooru, yeah, that’s exactly how she was sleeping.

9795475
Huh, no, I’d never heard of that until now.

9795132
If I remember right it was the female samurai that used the tanto. But it's been a long time since I had History of Japan.

9795394
Well not on a catwalk no, but I did once come to slumped over the pallet of dogfood I was unloading. Very embarrassing that.

9795620
It’s the essential sandwich! Reduced to the barest elements.

9795802

Well not on a catwalk no, but I did once come to slumped over the pallet of dogfood I was unloading. Very embarrassing that.

My current claim to fame (not entirely current, but relevant) was managing to sleep-type on one story when I did my first One-Shot-Ober. That’s a heck of a skill, to be honest. Although what I typed was hardly sensible.

Interestingly, I did have enough instinct left in my to actually send it to my pre-readers, too.

I wasn't entirely planning on upvoting this originally. It was cute, but not too memorable.

Then I got to chapter seven. The absurdity is just right, and Granny Smith's line had me laughing for a good thirty seconds. Well done there.

Excuse me good sir, but wat?

9796495

I wasn't entirely planning on upvoting this originally. It was cute, but not too memorable.

I believe the words you were searching for in your mind were “technically, not terrible” :derpytongue2:

Then I got to chapter seven. The absurdity is just right, and Granny Smith's line had me laughing for a good thirty seconds. Well done there.

Thank you! We all know Granny is the Don in the Apple mafia.

9798542
Well, when Jaxie says that I haven’t got it in me to write an 8 chapter fic in an hour using a prompt he selected, I can’t help but prove him wrong*
*for some values of wrong

9800619
Oh, you're quite right lol. I should have used that in the first place :rainbowlaugh:

Technically not terrible.:rainbowlaugh:

9800992
Just what I was going for.

9802441
Well all in a good cause then.

9802443
His belated reaction of DAMMIT kinda says it all. :heart:

9859804

Thanks for letting me know so that I can give you both proper credit, I've just got a rough sketch right now but I'll be trying to fill it out more later this week.

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