Technically, not terrible

by Admiral Biscuit

Chapter 4: 5k nap

Technically, not terrible
Chapter 4: 5k nap

Miss Harshwhinney eyed the bed, a regulation mattress where the 5k nap was nearing completion. The competitors were sacked out in varying positions—many were opting for the belly, a few were on their sides, and a rarer few sprawled out on their backs. A pegasus had her head tucked beneath her wing—bold, although wing-moves risked points being docked. That was in the rules.

And then there was Lyra.

Her position was an affront to Equinity. Ponies just shouldn't bend that way, and if they did, they shouldn’t be able to sleep that way. Kinematics practically prohibited it, to the point where there had not been a rule prohibiting it.

As much as duration earned points, so too did form, and Lyra was very much off-form. The nap guide rulebook was quite clear on that.

And yet . . . it was working for her. She was completely out, a faint smile on her muzzle as she dreamed, and that kind of dedication counted for something, even if the something was ‘technically not terrible.’

Which was actually an award, because of course it was.

Comments

[Fresnor]

Is it wrong that I imagined the doghouse position?

[badninja]

My mental picture just cannot do this justice. Then again I think only Pinkie can out do the oddness.

[Venerable Ro]

I'd try out for that sport in a heartbeat.

[Shachza]

Oh, my Celestia, Biscuit! You've created a sport where hamburgershayburgers are actually in the rules as controlled substances! Because clearly The Itis would be cheating in an Olympic Napathon.

[nemryn]

It's deep references like this that make the Harshwhinny Cinematic Universe so compelling.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9794343
At least it's not a biathalon.

[Admiral Biscuit]

9793983
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[Admiral Biscuit]

9794002

My mental picture just cannot do this justice.

Then again I think only Pinkie can out do the oddness.

Yeah, I’d imagine that there are a lot of sports she’s banned from, because she’s Pinkie Pie.

[Admiral Biscuit]

9794062

I'd try out for that sport in a heartbeat.

Any sensible person would.

[Admiral Biscuit]

9794266

Oh, my Celestia, Biscuit! You've created a sport where hamburgershayburgers are actually in the rules as controlled substances! Because clearly The Itis would be cheating in an Olympic Napathon.

That’s a good point. Rules would have to include no food which makes you sleepy, no staying up for days to prepare . . .

[Admiral Biscuit]

9794343

It's deep references like this that make the Harshwhinny Cinematic Universe so compelling.

I know, right?

[Admiral Biscuit]

9794905

At least it's not a biathalon.

Man, how would that work? Would you have to finish the 5k nap and then do a power nap right after, or would it be a case of switching beds?

[Captain PonySeidon]

Oh my Celestia, I could totally see napping as a semi-professional sport in Equestria which just gave me an idea for a Cuddle Fic for Categorical Grant's Contest but now I'm left with an enormously pressing question, 5K OF WHAT?!

[Admiral Biscuit]

9848116

Oh my Celestia, I could totally see napping as a semi-professional sport in Equestria which just gave me an idea for a Cuddle Fic for Categorical Grant's Contest

Yes, you should do this, whatever your idea is. I approve, and you can tell Categorical Grant I did.

but now I'm left with an enormously pressing question, 5K OF WHAT?!

I dunno, that’s not actually my joke. It’s a reference to a chapter Nemryn posted in a collab I did.

[B_Munro]

5 K nap? Is that like completing the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs?

[Admiral Biscuit]

10349334
I dunno, maybe?