Too Many Everything

by Daemon McRae

Other Car Talk 2

“So how long do you think before Sugarcoat gets in someone else’s pants?” Sunny Flare asked pointedly, not really directing the question at anyone in particular.

Twilight swerved slightly. “Ex-scuse me?!” she bleated.

Sou Sweet rolled her eyes. “Oh please. The Queen of Practicality? The instant she gets hot under the collar she’ll probably target lock the best candidate in the car and give them a doctoral thesis on why they should bang.”

“So who do you think the best target in the car is?” Lemon Zest asked, lowering her headphones.

“Of course this is where you cue in on the conversation,” Sour said dryly.

Sunny tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Besides Sugarcoat herself? Probably that Sunset girl. Although, that might just be because I’ve seen her weridly gorgeous pheonix-angel form from the Friendship games. I wonder if she has a dress like that that doesn’t require magic.”

“Twilight, you know these girls better than us, what do you think?” Lemon asked, leaning from the back of the car to between the seats.

“Hah!” Spike laughed from his spot on Sour’s lap in the backseat. “Twilight’s about as comfortable talking about sex as I am about the vet. I still have nightmares about scissors.”

Sour choked on a laugh. “Oh come on. Even Lady Science has to have some idea of who she’s into, right?”

Twilight white-knuckled the steering wheel and stared intently at the road. “Can we talk about this when I’m not trying to navigate a four-lane highway?”

“What, when you can just walk out of the room and ignore the conversation entirely? Nuh-uh. Besides, we’re stuck in dead-ass traffic,” Sweet pointed out. The multi-lane highway was, indeed, almost at a standstill, and would remain that way for the foreseeable future. “Out with it, you gotta have an idea of what those girls are like. Who do you think Sugarcoat would gun for? Or you, even?”

“M-me?! I mean… I don’t… I guess Sugar might go for Adagio, really. Maud has a boyfriend and Trixie isn’t that comfortable talking about… that kind of stuff. Honestly I was surprised to hear she’d kissed anyone. Even on a dare. But then again, I don’t know her super well. Not like Sunset,” she said with a slight sigh.

“Oh? Are we pining for someone?” Zest asked, waggling her eyebrows.

Twilight blushed furiously. “Of course not! I mean, She’s super nice, and really pretty, but she’s much more… mature than I am. Both figuratively and, if you believe everything she says about that alternate dimension, literally. Also, I’m convinced she and Adagio are more than ‘friends with benefits’, even if they don’t want to admit it to anyone, even each other. Adagio always viewed… sex… as a hobby, I guess? She’s much more forward than anyone else I know, so that combined with Sugarcoat’s tendency to forego beating around the bush in favor of an industrial weed-wacker would probably lead to a hook-up of convenience than anything else. Although Dazzle would probably drag Sunset into it somehow.”

Sunny gave Twilight a sympathetic smile. “Kind of exhausting dealing with those two, isn’t it?”

Twilight sighed. “You have no idea.”

-----------------------

Indigo Zap was, to say the least, infuriated. She loved highway driving. She loved open roads and engines and going faster than the human body would allow. Her bucket list included the pin you get for surviving ten G’s. At least, she thought there was a pin. There should be.

So sitting in gridlock for an hour was, and would always be, a living nightmare for her. “Move move move move move muuuhhhh-wooooooooooooove!” She yelled at the car in front of her. She refused to honk her horn except in an emergency, seeing it as a sign of weakness. Or pettiness. Neither of which she enjoyed.

Rainbow Dash was much in the same boat. “Oh come ON! I could JOG to the beach faster than this!”

Aria was also losing patience, but for entirely different reasons. “Oh yes, please, show those pathetic drivers who’s the boss,” she grumbled under her breath. She gave her triplet sister a sideways glance, a tinge of jealousy rolling over her as she saw Sonata happily tapping away at a tablet at some random match-3 game. Opting for a different kind of noise, she pulled out her phone and plugged in her earbuds to listen to some ungodly loud music.

Which wasn’t quite enough to drown out some rather creative use of expletives on Indigo’s part, which did make Aria smile as she filed the rather unkind sentiment about someone else’s parents away for later use.

------------

Limestone Pie was, for all intents and purposes, one of the most patient members of the Pie family. Her experience with her exuberant sister Pinkie, the shy and quiet Marble, and the stoic Maud had taught her a variety and depth of patience and will.

She still hated traffic.

“Come now,” Rarity seemed to say to the ocean of cars in front of her. “You’d think infrastructure like this was designed to AVOID such cumbersome situations.”

“I kind of like it,” Fluttershy said wistfully, gazing pat the cars to a field of cows grazing peacefully in the distance.

“Well, yes, we at least had the fortune of being stuck somewhere rather serene. And I do appreciate beauty of rolling fields as much as the next person, especially from a distance,” Rarity agreed.

Limestone slowly rolled the car forward as they finally made some progress. “So… um… do you have any plans for while we’re at the beach?” she said hesitantly. She wasn’t great at starting conversations with, while not strangers, passing acquaintances at best.

Rarity hummed thoughtfully. “Well, as much as some of the other girls would love to work on their tan, I’m afraid I’m far too fair-skinned for that. I burn like a campfire. No, I think I’ll be spending most of my time on the boardwalk. I can’t wait to see what kind of stores they have!”

“I’m very excited to walk the beach myself,” Fluttershy said happily. “I like find crabs and seashells. What about you, Limestone?”

“I would love to sit on a long towel and work on my tan for an afternoon, if we ever get there!”

------------------------

AJ had had some misgivings about being in a car with Pinkie Pie for hours at a time, but as it turns out, they had something in common Applejack hadn’t planned on.

Country music.

“Come on somebody, why dontchu run?

Ol’ Red’s itchin’ to have a little fun~

Get my lantern get my gun

Red’ll have you treed fore the mornin’ comes!”

The two sang cheerfully over the radio as the traffic around them crawled onwards.

----------------------------

Sunset’s ear’s twitched as AJ’s radio poured out of her rolled-down windows, and her friend’s voices along with it. “If even one of you suggests country music at any point on this car ride I will not hesitate-” she started, only interrupted by letting her foot off the break as the traffic inched forward.

Adagio rolled her eyes. “Honestly, given how long we’ve been in this car, I’m surprised nobody’s broken out into song yet. Which I’ve been meaning to ask about. I get that my sisters and I sing on occasion, it’s literally how we were built. But why do you all break out into musical numbers at random intervals?”

Sunset sighed. “I have no idea. I’d blame it on the band, but I was doing it before that was even a thought. I mean, it’s pretty common in Equestria, for one reason or another, but I’ll be damned if I have any idea why it happens here. Part of me wants to blame magic for it like I do a great deal of other annoyances in my life.”

“Would one of those annoyances be a mile-an-hour four-lane slog through downtown Wheresville?” Trixie groaned.

A car horn went off somewhere in the distance, followed by another. Soon the entire highway was off on one.

“Yes, Trixie, yes it is.”

Author's Note:

Been thinking about this story lately.

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

Yeah, being stuck in traffic is not terribly fun.

[Sunset_Shimmer83]

I would not mind seeing Sunset, and Adagio have "fun" with sugarcoat. Just saying lol

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm glad you were thinking of it. Lovely bite-sized bits of character work here. (And given how they needed to break out an MP3 player for the cafeteria flash mob in the first movie, the EqG musical number without diegetic music are likely caused by Equestrian magic.)

[redandready45]

Yes, this how these teenagers would talk and act without a Y7 rating.