Food Talk 2
Having since decided on their new driving arrangements, the girls had split up into different groups for the surrounding restaurants. Sunset hadn’t waited even a second to see who was coming with, making a beeline for Popular Pete’s. She was waiting happily, bouncing on her heels as the rest of her group poured in, which consisted mostly of the other girls in her car, plus Limestone and Indigo.
“Why am I not surprised?” Adagio sighed, looking at the large example menu drawn up behind the Host station. “Nearly everything here is some kind of dead animal or breading. HOW you keep your figure is beyond me.”
Sunset cocked a hip with a sly smile. “Oh please. You’ve been to the gym with me.”
“Yes, and your definition of cardio is exhausting. And not in the fun way,” she added.
“Good lord,” Indigo drooled, staring at the menu. “No wonder that Flutterwhatever opted for that Greek place. It’s like reading a slaughterhouse autobiography.”
Trixie shuffled meekly in place. “Um… Trixie isn’t sure she should be asking you to spend more money on her. She… I already feel bad letting you cover all the other expenses.”
“I DON’T!” Limestone growled, tapping her foot. “Geez, get a grip, girl. Free food is free food! Now if only someone would actually lead us to a damn table.”
Maud looked quietly at the empty host station, then at the rather busy restaurant. There were a couple empty booths, but it was still a bit of a din. “I imagine they’ll be back soon.”
Sugarcoat rolled her eyes and tapped a nearby sign. It read PLEASE SEAT YOURSELF! “Seriously?” she grumbled, then strolled off to find an empty booth. The rest of the group followed sheepishly.
Having found a nice round table to seat them all, the girls had a server at their table in moments. “Nice to meet you! I’m Sparklebeach!” she exclaimed. “What can I get started for you?”
Limestone, halfway into a glass of water the waitress had brought with her, choked on her drink. “Sp-Sparklebitch?! Seriously?!” she howled.
Sparklebeach’s smile wavered slightly. “Noooo… it’s Sparkle-BEACH. Like, you know, sand, surf, fun?”
“And yet you’re in the middle of nowhere waiting tables at a chain restaurant miles away from any kind of surf or sea,” Sugarcoat noted.
Their waitress seemed to have a difficult time holding on to her composure. “Oh, it’s fine! Now, what can I get started for you?”
Before anyone else could get a word in edgewise, snarky or not, Sunset demanded, “WE NEED A TRASHMASTER.”
Half the table turned to look at her. “Um...” Trixie started.
“What the hell is a Trashmaster?” Adagio asked, not really wanting an answer.
“It’s our biggest party platter!” Sparkle offered, clutching her notepad like a safety blanket. “It includes a full rack of ribs, one whole roast chicken, one pound of pulled pork or brisket, and free drinks for the table! Limit ten. With free refills! Also a whole crapton of moist towelettes. Trust me, you’re gonna need them. It also comes with a tray of freshly baked rolls, coleslaw, fries, corn bread, baked beans, and corn!”
The entirety of the table had taken it upon themselves to stare pointedly at Sunset, who was looking at Sparkle like a messenger from the gods coming to tell her she’d won the lottery and a free puppy. “YES.” she said simply.
“Is this the part where we should be afraid?” Trixie asked. “Because Trixie is afraid.”
Adagio leaned away from her driver, as Limestone just looked on in awe. “I know that face. I don’t think we’re getting out of this, actually.”
Sparkle nodded, picked up the menus, and pulled out a pen. “So what can I get you to drink?”
The girls all pulled their attention away from Sunset, who was currently staring off into space with a dopey grin, and gave their individual orders. There was a moment of quiet, until Indigo’s phone went off. “It’s… from Rainbow. Says ‘Did Sunset order the Trashmaster yet? They bring that thing out on a trash can lid, you know. Also, don’t sit directly next to her.’ Uh...” she said cautiously, scooting a little away from Sunset. There was now a full person’s worth of empty space on either side of her. Then Zap’s phone went off again. “Dash again. ‘You should probably get your food before she reaches the tray. Also, you should TOTALLY ask her why she eats meat, even though she’s a horse. It’s funny af.’ I swear to god, Dash.”
“That’s a good point,” Trixie noted. “We did ask her earlier, but Trixie expects there’s more to it. Not that she’s sure she wants to know.”
“Seconded,” Adagio agreed, taking a sip of her water.
Limestone, however, had other ideas. “So, horse-girl, what’s with the meat-eaty thing?”
Sunset slowly came back to earth, leveling her gaze on Limestone. “Lime, do you have any idea how much meat we eat in Equestria?”
The eldest Pie sister looked back and forth, somewhat unsure whether or not asking was a good idea. “Um… you don’t?”
“WE DON’T!” Sunset exclaimed. “And it’s a crime. A total fucking shame. We have cows! We have pigs! We. Have. CHICKEN. And we eat NONE OF IT!”
“But, don’t they like, talk… over there?” Indigo asked. When the other girls gave her a look, she explained, “That’s what Dash says, anyway. All the animals talk or whatever.”
Adagio shook her head. “Only the cows do. Pigs and chickens and the rest are just animals, like they are here. Mostly it’s anything with hooves. Trust me, you don’t want to get started down that rabbit hole,” she added with a stare from Indigo.
“But still, I thought you guys were all touchy-feely with the other animals?” Limestone chided. “Like, isn’t it weird to eat cows or whatever after talking to them for so long?”
Sunset’s eye twitched. “Lime, I have never, EVER, had a conversation with a cow. And even if I had, they would still be DELICIOUS!”
There was a brief silence after that statement, interrupted shortly by Sparklebeach returning to their table with the drinks. “Ok, girls! Here you go!” she said cheerfully, handing out tall glasses of various beverages. Once her tray was empty, she sauntered off, calling over her shoulder, “Be back with your food as soon as it’s ready!”
“Thanks!” Sunset called. Under her breath, she added, “Sparklebitch.”
The table dissolved into giggles, and soon normal conversation resumed.
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That poor girl. What were her parents thinking?
Also, I'd insert a joke about Sunset trying to eat her own hair, but I'm worried that she might burst through the fourth wall and try to consume me.
8860670
She'd try to eat her own hair first and then you for dessert. You know, because your avatar is a picture of Muffins.
I read the new Schadenfreude chapter before this one, as you can tell by the horrible food pun.
Also, am I the only one who expected Sunset to end her order with "And what do you guys want?" ?
Better save some food for Spike.
8826695
I think their current priority is less about taking the world, and more about building a personal harem.
HAAAHAHAHAHA
Marry me, Sunset.
Oh god, this was hilarious.
cani hide with trixie please your sunset scares me..........
Sunset can be terrifying sometimes.
It works though.
I get the feeling.
Also fair.
Wow, she's the only one who got a good roll on her Spot check.
That's a lot of food.
None?
You scare me.
Hey now, leave the Princess out of this.
I get the feeling that if one of these girls reaches for some of the food that is in the Trashmaster, they’re going to be pulling back a bloody stump.
MUST HUG!!!
That would indeed be glorious
Or dead animal WITH breading!
*happy omnivore noises*