• Published 7th Mar 2018
  • 1,986 Views, 159 Comments

Too Many Everything - Daemon McRae

Eighteen girls. A two-week trip to and from Miami Beach. Five cars. This story is about one of them.

  • ...

Post-Food Talk

There had been casualties. Dead animals strewn across the table. Drinks spilled. Corn bread and roll crumbs littered the booth like bullet casings. And the barbeque sauce. Oh god, the barbeque sauce. If food could bleed, it would look like this.

Sparklebeach walked away from the table with hollowed eyes and an empty soul. Not in the three unfortunate years she had worked here had she ever seen such devastation and carnage in a single sitting. She went entire weeks without accumulating so much mental damage as to approach the trauma she now faced. She clutched the receipt in her hand desperately, her fist tightening on reflex, as she thought of the girl who signed it.

That… girl. That human being was a monster in child’s skin. One second, smiling a brilliant, dazzling smile that stirred something pure and warm in her chest, only to disappear in an instant once presented with food. Then, the animal had awoken. Tooth and claw, more bite than bark, it had descended on the party platter like a wartime tragedy, leaving no survivors, bearing no mercy, and annihilating a whole chicken with the kind of ferocity and possessiveness a mama lion would assault any who would threaten her cubs.

The sounds. They would follow her into her dreams as though possessed with an insatiable need for her suffering. So. Much. Chewing.

Back at the table, Limestone regarded Sunset carefully. “Girl, if you eat out like you eat out, no wonder Adagio likes you so much.”

Sunset ignored her, contentedly humming and nursing a root beer as her grateful stomach digested the last of its POWs. Adagio just raised an eyebrow. “Now you’re getting it.”

Trixie flinched, the napkin she was dabbing the barbeque sauce off her face with streaking a red-brown line across her cheek. “Trixie did not need to know that.”

“You might, actually,” Adagio purred. “It depends on the hotel arrangements. Now come on, girls. I believe we have a great deal of driving left to do.”

The Pie sisters nodded, carefully stacking their plates and cups near the edge of the table for the busboy to collect. Trixie gave Sunset a cautious sideways glance as she stood up and followed the procession out of the restaurant. Indigo was already at the door, tapping her foot impatiently. Shimmer herself soon followed, forgoing the straw and gulping down the last few draughts of her soda, quickly following into step. She tugged the ruined napkin out of her collar and dumped it in her bin, the rest of her somehow completely clean.

“So, Adagio,” Sunset asked, catching up to he group at the door. “You seem to know the area pretty well, how long do you think we should drive before we give up any hope on a decent hotel?”

“While I am both flattered and offended by the implications of that question, I’m really only familiar with the area around Canterlot. If we were closer to Florida, that wouldn’t be a problem. I spent a good deal of time there in the fifties. Honestly, though, the majority of the country is foreign dirt to me,” Dazzle said thoughtfully.

The group gathered around the tables, waiting for the rest of their friends. Fluttershy, Rarity, and the other two Sirens had already found a spot to sit while they waited. “Girls!” Rarity called as they all approached. “How was your lunch?”

Indigo breathed in solemnly. “It. Was. Awesome. Oh my GOD I’ve never had ribs like that before.”

Fluttershy squeaked timidly, shrinking into Rarity’s side. “Well, I would have to take your word for it, dear. I’ve never eaten at that particular… establishment-”

“-slaughterhouse-” Fluttershy interjected.

“-place to eat food,” Rarity said sternly. “So I couldn’t tell you. Although I must admit you seem to be rather well put together for having just had barbeque with our Sunset.”

“No kidding,” Limestone conceded, throwing herself into a single chair, while the rest seemed to be fine settling for benches. “I mean, I watch nature documentaries and junk with all kinds of animal-on-animal violence and that was… new. I mean WOW.”

“Eh,” Indigo said with a shrug. “I was too busy eating to notice. Damn, them’s some good corn bread.”

“Trixie has actually seen it before, she was prepared for this!” Trixie exclaimed proudly. Moreso than she should, really.

Maud just nodded solemnly. “It was interesting. Although I feel bad for our waitress. She seemed pretty distressed when we paid.”

Adagio, having joined her sisters, only to be immediately bearhugged by a happy Sonata, shrugged. “Really it’s only large amounts of meat she gets excited about. Her table manners are usually on point. Although I still have no idea how she manages to keep her clothes clean amidst all that juice.”

“That would actually be my doing,” Rarity admitted. “There was an Independence Day in recent memory where Sunset just so happened to be introduced to the concept of home grilling. Needless to say her outfit was completely destroyed! I mean, honestly, you’d think the protegee of a Princess would have better table manners. After I regained my composure-”

“You mean consciousness,” Sunset chided with a snarky grin.

“-composure. And if everyone could be so nice as to not interrupt me, that would be grand. As I was saying, once I’d recovered, I immediately ran Sunset through the ringer in terms of proper table manners, at least insomuch as to keep her clothes clean while devouring whole pigs. I still have yet to break her bad habit of turning into some kind of lycanthrope at the sight of grilled hamburger,” Rarity conceded with a forlorn sigh.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Indigo said with a shrug. “I don’t feel too bad for our waitress, though. Can’t imagine she hasn’t seen worse in a place like that.”


A few meters away, inside the restaurant-


“Sparkle, put down the rotisserie!”


WHAM. “Medic!”


“Who was your server, anyway?” Aria asked halfheartedly. “We got some hippy chick named Treehugger. I think Fluttershy got her phone number or something.”

“It was her Facebook, thank you very much. And she invited me to a Bona Dea festival next month, thank you,” Fluttershy huffed defensively.

“Um… Fluttershy?” Adagio asked cautiously. “Bona Dea is a Roman fertility goddess. Her festivals are basically giant sex pits.”


“...soooo?” Aria asked.

“So what?”

“You goin, or...”

Fluttershy looked back and forth quickly. “...well, I already said I would.”

Adagio and Sunset grinned at her approvingly. “Trust me, Flutters,” Sunset said. “Everything is better after you get properly, thoroughly laid. And I don’t mean that after-prom guilt sex. Or a cheap one night stand. You GO to that party, you find someone you wanna shag, and you make a whole night out of it. Worth every penny.”

Adagio ‘voiced’ her approval with a foot running up Sunset’s thigh under the table. They shared a dirty glance, as Aria rolled her eyes and asked, “No seriously, what was her name?”

“Sparklebeach,” Maud answered simply.

“That’s awful!” said a voice behind them. The girls turned in time to see the rest of their gang approaching. Twilight looked indignant. “Who would name their child Sparklebitch?!”

The laughter carried throughout the plaza. In fact, the only ones who didn’t seem to hear it were a very distressed kitchen staff trying to negotiate one of their waitresses out of the supply cupboard.