• Published 7th Mar 2018
  • 1,982 Views, 159 Comments

Too Many Everything - Daemon McRae

Eighteen girls. A two-week trip to and from Miami Beach. Five cars. This story is about one of them.

  • ...

Five Girls, Four Days, Thirteen Hundred Miles

Author's Note:

I don't know what I'm doing, let's just see what happens.

Really I just wanted to put my five favorite characters in a box and go from there.

The early days of summer are usually filled with optimism, hope, and idealistic planning for the weeks to come. Sunlight crests over the mountains and hills and sets on crystalline waters, in a slow and expanding ac that provides brilliant light by which many people usually do some much needed yard work, have a barbeque, or simply find something to do with friends. The nights are a little cooler, and often optimal for camping, sleepovers, and late-night adventures both of the mischievous and amorous variety.

The season is a favorite among teenagers, providing a much-needed and widely anticipated break from the monotony of government-mandated studying, standardized tests, and forced social interaction with hundreds of people a day. It was the perfect season for camping trips, concerts, international vacations, and in this case, road tripping across the country.

At least, until you got to Adagio freakin’ Dazzle. “I can’t believe you’re dumping me in the rejects van, Sunset. This is low even for you.” She flipped her voluminous and almost unnaturally curly hair over her shoulder and glared daggers at her… associate. Crossing her arms over her rather generous chest, she struck a pose that radiated impatience and disapproval. She had forgone her typical mauve attire for clothes she most likely considered ‘conservative’; blue denim daisy dukes and a white crop top that, on anyone else, might have looked slutty. On Adagio Dazzle, however, a girl who prided herself on her sex appeal, the appropriate term might be ‘starter pack’. She had even foregone her favored high heels for simple white sneakers for the sake of a matching outfit, and had topped off the almost stereotypical summer flair with a sun visor.

Sunset Shimmer didn’t even look over her shoulder, rendering Adagio’s posturing useless, which she knew drove the ex-siren crazy. Busying herself with rearranging the luggage and storage containers in the back of the vehicle, she called over her shoulder. “It’s not the ‘rejects van’, Adagio. You were the one who specifically requested not riding with your sisters in what you so affectionately referred to as ‘that rusty death trap’ Applejack is driving.” There was a loud ‘thunk’ as the last pieces fell into place in the rear of the vehicle, and there was finally enough space for the rest of the girl’s things. She straightened out, stretching languidly with one arm high above her head. Even though she wasn’t as… well-endowed as the Dazzling, Adagio noticed the gesture did interesting things to the other girl’s figure, and licked her lips approvingly. Her eyes wandered over Sunset’s own choice of attire: a simple sky blue sundress that flowed to her knees in a not-quite sheer material that still suggested at curves in all the right places, a pair of simple yet overlarge sunglasses, and lace-up ballet flats in a flattering ocean blue. She’d even tied up her hair in a ponytail that hung in a friendly drape over her shoulder.

"Oh, you can’t tell me you’d want to drive a thousand miles in that beat-down gas-guzzler and stop every half hour to fill up the tank again?” Dazzle protested.

Sunset mulled this over. “That’s fair. But it’s not like there weren’t any other options. I mean, almost twenty girls on a two-week adventure to a private beach in Florida? Like hell we’d all fit in one car. Why didn’t you ride with like, Twilight Sparkle, if you’re so opposed to the idea?”

“Probably because her car only holds four comfortably, and between her cleavage and her hair there wouldn’t be room to breathe, let alone see the road,” came a snarky, pitchy feminine voice from the far side of the parking lot. The two turned to see a trio of girls approaching, the speaker none other than Trixie Lulamoon. The self-styled magician had opted for simple blue jeans and a powder-blue shirt, accented by her typical hat and cape. Adagio was slightly annoyed to see such conservative attire, although she knew from experience Trixie didn’t really have much to work with, which was a sore spot for the girl. She cast sparing glances at the other two, Maude Pie and Sugarcoat.

Dazzle let the insult slide off her back like water. “Don’t think for a second you’re wearing that hat in the car. It goes in the back with the rest of the… stuff.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow at her. “You had to physically stop yourself from calling it trash, didn’t you?”

Adagio sighed. “Or something like it, yes. God, this… being nice thing is exhausting. God knows how Sonata does it.

Maude spoke up. “Probably because she’s a genuinely nice person with a slight sadistic streak and has too much positive energy not to be like that.”

Adagio turned on the girl to make some scathing comment about the implied insult, and stopped when she saw the expression, or lack thereof, on the older Pie sister’s face. Unsure whether she meant it as an insult or an observation, she opted to let it go, instead giving the girl a quick five-point inspection. A steel-blue tank top over deep blue denim shorts, though not as ‘short’ as Adagio was wearing, and the most sensible black shoes Adagio had ever seen. Even her hair was a dull straight-cut. Adagio considered the effort required to get the girl to actually embrace her femininity, and decided she’d have rather ridden in AJ’s truck. “I still don’t know where she gets it,” Adagio said finally. “It’s not like Aria or I were any good at being positive role-models.”

There were a few loud thuds as someone loaded more luggage into the back of the van. The girls turned their attention to the last girl in the group, Sugarcoat, who had taken it upon herself to load the other girl’s luggage in the back of the van. Even while she worked, Adagio could tell the girl was, in some ways, a kindred spirit. She too, wore a bit less clothing than was maybe necessary. Not exactly as over-sexualized as the Dazzling, but the short white skirt (which would have certainly never made it past the front door of the school), the low-cut white blouse, and denim vest certainly had their own appeal. Even if the girl wasn’t as curvy as the ex-siren or Sunset, or even Maude, she was obviously the type to work what she had. Sugarcoat looked up after a moment to see Adagio and the other girls staring at her. “If we’re going to leave, we want to do so quickly. Traffic will be garbage and I’m not a hundred percent excited about the idea of being trapped in a dingy car with a handful of effective strangers for the next half-week.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Dingy? I just rented this thing! Heated seats, screens in the back of the seats, built-in Wi-Fi, and a whole bunch of other bells and whistles.”

Adagio whistled appreciatively. She’d never actually looked inside the van, having met the girl her and waited until long after the other cars had taken off for these stragglers. “How did you afford that? I mean, I know I could do so easily, but you?”

Sunset smirked devilishly. “The same way I can afford to live by myself in a single-story house in a nice neighborhood with no HOA: a rather generous helping of gold coin from another dimension. Ever since I made nice with Equestria, all I have to do is ask for a small tuppence every couple of weeks, and I’m basically rich.”

Sugarcoat raised an eyebrow impressively as she grabbed Trixie’s hat off her head and threw it into the back of the van, slamming the whole shebang shut. “And how much is a ‘small tuppence’?”

Sunset pulled the driver’s door open, and thought for a second. “Let’s see, 100 bits every two weeks, two ounces a bit, so factoring in the price of gold per ounce… two hundred and sixty-five thousand dollars? Every two weeks?”

“WHAT. THE FUCK. SUNSET.” Trixie declared. “How are you not retired right now?!”

Adagio stepped in to answer. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to move that much gold legally? Or even illegally? I doubt that’s how much cash she actually milks out of it all at once.”

Sunset fiddled around with the driver’s seat for a moment, making sure it fit her properly. “No joke. I’ve got a guy from back when I first started, basically a fence in the city, and he can only move like, two pounds every two weeks. So I only get like, eighty grand a month.”

Adagio felt an eyebrow twitch. “That is such bullshit. There’s no way you can pull that much in-” she was cut off as Sunset turned the key and let the van roar to life. “That’s… that’s a Hemi. You got a rental van with a Hemi in it.”

Sunset smiled prettily from the driver’s seat. “Yes, Adagio, yes I-”

“SHOTGUN!” the Dazzling yelled, running around the front of the van to throw the passenger door open.

“Dammit!” Trixie whined. “Trixie wanted to play with the radio.”


“Trixie has to admit, Sunset,” Trixie said from the back seat. “She’s impressed with your choice of vehicle. We seem to be making good time.”

Sugarcoat roller her eyes. “We’ve been driving for ten minutes. Ten miles down, 1360 to go. And please tell me you actually brought movies to PLAY in this thing?” she asked dryly, poking the screen in front of her with an annoyed finger. She glanced to the left, seeing Maude well and deep into a rather large textbook.

Trixie also eyed the monitor in the set in front of her curiously. “Agreed. How do you even… work this thing?” Seeing the sideways glance from Sugarcoat, she added, “Trixie is very bad with technology. Her family still uses one of those big box-y TV’s.”

Adagio coughed as the canned lemonade she was drinking caught in her throat. “A CRT?! Are you serious? How did you even find one?!”

There was some weakness in Trixie’s voice as she said, “We’ve had it for… awhile.”

Sunset smacked Adagio upside the head. Adagio yelped, and rubbed the sore spot. “We’re being nice, remember?” Shimmer growled.

“Oh… right. Sorry, Trixie,” Adagio added humbly.

After a few moments, Sugarcoat filled the awkward silence. “Ok, so what’s your story, anyway? Sunset I know, because Twilight and I still talk. But You were before Twilight’s time, and I don’t know anyone else at CHS. SO what’s up with you?”

Adagio measured the risk of being judged harshly by a girl who, so far, seemed to speak the truth like she breathed, comfortably or not, against the concept of talking about herself. She settled on her favorite pastime. “I’m also from Equestria, like our dear Sunset here. Unlike her, however, I was not a magical talking pony. I was a siren: a force of nature who manipulated entire colonies with song and dance into doing what we wanted and turning on each other like cutthroat hooligans. We fed on negative emotions and felled kingdom after kingdom to get them. Even after we were thrown into the human realm over a thousand years ago by a rather cross, if admittedly crafty, wizard, we still held a vestige of our powers. We infiltrated countries and kingdoms, toying with rulers and romantics and the hearts of men like pick-up-sticks. Until you lot invented the internet, and social media, and made it almost impossible to do anything noteworthy without being outed to the entire world. Then we had to settle for what amounted to fast food, starting petty spats in bars and diners for measly meals.

“Then the Fall Formal happened, and we felt, and saw Equestrian magic for the first time in centuries. After that, it basically broke down to an after-school special; we worked our way into the school, turned everyone on each other, and basically enslaved the entire school in a gambit to store enough power to make our way back into our home dimension. Unfortunately, we got Friendship Lasered out of the damn sky by a giant-ass ethereal Alicorn thing and lost all our powers. Now we’re basically teenagers. Forever,” she finished with a strange taste in her mouth. The idea of eternal youth wasn’t foreign to her, but the idea of never reaching maturity in a world without her powers still kept her up some nights. For a few minutes. Sometimes.

Sugarcoat tilted her head to see around the back of the seat. “And you’re in this car because…”

“Because Aria and Sonata are riding with Pinkie and Limestone in the Pie family car and Adagio was very adamant that she not spend eight hours a day in a car with her sisters,” Sunset explained.

Trixie nodded furiously. “Trixie agrees. The Dazzlings are… best left to small doses.”

“I’m just here because there wasn’t room in the family car with everyone else, and while I do love Pinkie, leaving her in a car with Sonata is undesirable at best,” Maude volunteered.

The rest of the girls, with the exception of Sugarcoat, thought about that for a moment, and shivered intensely. “Oh, my god,” Adagio breathed. “Aria’s going to kill them both.”

“I doubt it,” Maude said flatly. “Limestone can handle herself pretty well, and is rather over-protective. She was very annoyed when I said I wanted to ride in the last car.”

“Wait,” Sunset interjected. “You asked for this car specifically? Why?”

“Because I’m friends with Trixie.”

Adagio and Sunset traded rather confused glances. “Oh… kay,” Adagio said finally. “So how about you, Sugarshack? What’s your story?”

“It’s Sugarcoat,” the Shadowbolt said sternly. “And as much as I love the idea of going to the beach with all of my friends for a four-day weekend, I would honestly rather explode twice than ride in a car with Indigo Zap at the wheel. I’d ride with Twilight, but I was late to the party, and her car filled up pretty quickly. I almost feel bad for… what did you say their names were? Rarity and Fluttershy? I think they picked up a ride with Zap.”

“Wait, so it Twilight is driving three of your friends-” Adagio started.

“Two. She gave her dog a seat of his own.”

“...figures. Right, so Twilight is driving two of your friends. Indigo is driving Rarity and Fluttershy and one other girl?”

“Nope,” Sunset volunteered. “Just the two. The rest of the space is Rarity’s luggage. And no, I’m not joking.”

“Yeesh,” Trixie muttered.

Adagio blinked. “Ok, so Limestone is driving Pinkie and my two sisters. And I know Applejack is driving that rust bucket with Rainbow Dash riding shotgun. So where is the last of your crew?” Adagio demanded.


Applejack and Rainbow Dash snapped back and forth at each other as AJ smacked a blue hand away from the radio controls. “How many times I gotta tell you, RD? Driver chooses music, shotgun shuts her cake-hole!”

Dash leaned back in her seat in an exaggerated whine. “But you always choose country! I mean, a couple minutes is fine, but we’re gonna be out here for days! DAYS! I can’t take seventy-two hours of runaway dogs and cheating spouses!

Sour Sweet buried her head in her hands. Don’t kill your carmates, don’t kill your carmates, don’t kill your carmates, she chanted to herself.


Sugarcoat smiled to herself. “Oh. Just someone who I thought would… enjoy the ride.”

Sunset caught a glimpse of the smile in her rear view mirror as she merged onto the highway. “You did something evil, didn’t you?”

The resident Shadowbolt shrugged. “It was a group effort.”

“Did you guys know that obsidian starts as a glass first, and then condenses into a rock through devitrification?” Maude asked.

“...no, Maude, I did not know that,” Adagio said simply.