Food Talk 1
“There is no way in hell we are stopping at MacDaniel’s,” Adagio insisted, staring daggers into the rearview mirror at a certain magician.
“But… Trixie doesn’t have a lot of money. And MacDaniel’s is cheap,” she argued, somewhat sheepishly.
Sunset rolled her eyes. “Trixie, I know you’re kind of new to being friends with us, but Adagio and I are almost disturbingly wealthy. I literally paid for this whole trip out of pocket. I have no problem getting the check at anywhere that isn’t ‘Greasy Horse Meat’ Inc.”
“Why are you paying for this trip, anyway?” Sugarcoat asked suspiciously. “I mean, you don’t even know me or my friends very well.”
“I’m still convinced it was just to see us all in our swimwear,” Adagio teased.
“Adagio,” Sunset said pointedly, as she turned onto an off ramp, “If I wanted to see you in your swimwear I could literally just come over to your house and ask. You are the second most shameless person I know.”
“Second most? Who the hell is the first?” Trixie demanded.
“Pinkie Pie,” Sunset and Maud said together. Getting curious looks from the other passengers, Maud explained, “She doesn’t do it on purpose. She’s just one of those people who doesn’t really see the world the same way we do, clothes and all. It’s not a sexual thing, though.”
Sugarcoat thought about that for a second. “Ok, I guess I could see that. You still haven’t answered my question, though,” she added, readdressing Sunset.
“Because I could, mostly. I mean, first it just started off as us Rainbooms, and thank you by the way now I can’t stop thinking about how awful that band name is, but Twilight said she wanted to spend some time over the summer with you girls, so I said ‘sure, we can take them too.’ Then Sonata overheard and told her sisters, and-”
“And there is no way in the nine hells I am going to miss a dozen and a half attractive teenage girls partying on a beach together,” Dazzle said simply. “So I asked Sunset nicely if we could come along.”
“Nicely?” Sunset chided, raising an eyebrow and giving Adagio some side-eye. “You grabbed me by the shirt and pushed me against the wall. I believe your exact words were ‘I don’t care what I have to do to you, but please take me with you’.”
“Nicely for me,” Adagio corrected.
Sugarcoat looked back and forth between the two girls up front. “Ok, are you two actually dating, or what? Because from what I understand, you’re both reformed villains with sketchy histories at best, and I’m more and more convinced as you talk that you’re secretly planning to take over the world together.”
Adagio shrugged. “I wouldn’t call it dating. More like… what’s that human term? The one Rainbow Dash keeps using.”
“’Friends with benefits’?” Sunset suggested.
“That one. Dating is kind of… boring? I guess? I mean, being around for as long as my sisters and I have, the slow, tedious nature of courtship is just… bleh,” she made a face, as she had trouble finding a word that properly illustrated her distaste with the idea.
“Also sex is way more fun then just walking around making small talk and spending money," Sunset said pointedly. “Way more fun.”
“Agreed,” Adagio said, nodding sagely. “Ooh, how about here?” she said excitedly, pointing out a passing restaurant.
“No, Adagio, we are not going to Honkers,” Sunset deadpanned. “Reel it in a little, ok? You gotta remember, not everyone in the car is used to… you.”
Dazzle pouted cutely, mumbling something about how they would never get used to her without prolonged exposure. Sunset had to restrain herself from making an ‘exposure’ joke, and instead pointed at another, somewhat larger restaurant a little down the road. “How about there?”
Sugarcoat leaned forward in the car to get a good look at the name of the restaurant. “Popular Pete’s? Isn’t that a barbeque pit?”
Sunset pulled into the parking lot without a second thought. “Yes, yes it is,” she drooled.
Adagio leaned slightly away from their driver. “Um, Sunset, dear. I thought you were a vegetarian. Being a… pony and all?”
Trixie and Maud raised eyebrows. Well, Trixie did. Maud just looked up. “Oh please,” Sunset said dismissively, seeing their stares. Even Sugarcoat had raised an eyebrow. “I turned into a demon chick and this one summoned a giant spectral horsefish and hypnotized the whole school. Me being a pony in a past life is hardly the weirdest thing going on in this car.”
“She has a point,” Sugarcoat said, unbuckling her seatbelt.
“But what about the whole ‘not eating meat’ thing?” Trixie asked. She, too, had unbuckled, and was waiting for Maud to do the same.
Sunset and Adagio were already halfway out of the car. “Please. I haven’t been a herbivore since the first day I got here.”
Whatever anyone was going to say next was cut off as a simple gray sedan pulled into a spot a few spaces away, and the car basically exploded as its occupants spilled out. Sunset simply sighed with half a smile as Sonata, Pinkie Pie, Aria, and Limestone all rushed over to meet them. She gave a winded ‘Oof’ as Sonata and Pinkie gave her hugs, and hugged them back, while a loud ‘OW’ behind her told her that Aria had caught up with her sister.
“Hey Pinkie, hi, Sonata,” she said warmly, stepping away.
“FOUR. HOURS. In a car with PINKIE and SONATA,” Aria shrieked. Sunset looked over her shoulder to see Adagio bouncing on one foot and holding her other shin. “You OWE me.”
“That hurt you viscous skank!” Adagio spat.
Sunset was about to say something when firm hands grabbed her collar. The next second, Limestone Pie was less than an inch from her face, and she was a few inches off the ground. “I will do anything,” she growled, “To get those two out of my car. I’ll take Maud AND Trixie. I’ll take you right here if you’re into that kind of thing. Just GET THEM OUT OF MY CAR.”
Sunset was torn between panic at having a suspiciously strong girl grip her shirt like a lifeline, and the somewhat schadenfreudian pleasure she was getting from having someone else deal with the other two Siren sisters for a change. She was saved from answering by the other Pie sister, however. “Hello Limestone.”
Lime put Sunset down on solid ground, and turned to her sister. “Maud. Please tell me you want to ride with me this time. I can’t take any more of those two.”
Maud shrugged, nonplussed. “Actually I’m kind of enjoying the ride. Trixie is fun to talk to. And I kind of like Sugarcoat.”
“Well someone is going to have to change cars or I’m going to actually KILL people today!” Aria bellowed, somewhat close to Sunset’s ear.
She rubbed the side of her head as the ringing subsided. “Ok, ok. We’ll… figure something out. Let me text the other cars and try and get an idea of where they… are,” she trailed off, as both AJ’s truck and Twilight’s car pulled into the parking lot. Only a few seconds later, Indigo Zap peeled into the parking lot like it was a pit stop on a racetrack. The first two cars parked nice and properly, but Zap’s car seemed to treat parking spaces like challenges. To her credit, she lined up in the spot nicely, if at a higher speed than anyone was expecting. Soon after, two of the doors flung open and two very shaky girls climbed out, both taking a moment to hold their breakfasts in place.
“Well nevermind, looks like the gang’s all here. Twilight, hi!” she called, as Sparkle and her two Shadowbolt friends piled out of their car almost politely. They seemed to be getting along ok, at least. Twilight waved back with a smile, and leaned into the car to pat Spike on the head, and roll down the windows a little bit.
“Sorry Spike, but I can’t take you into a restaurant. And I don’t trust just tying you to a post out here. Don’t worry, it’s still cool enough here,” she said soothingly.
“But it smells so gooooooood!” came Spike’s voice from inside the vehicle. Sunset chuckled to herself, and returned her attention to Limestone and Maud, who seemed to be debating who should ride with who.
“Sorry, Limestone. I’m actually enjoying this. Maybe one of the other cars will trade with you,” Maud said, almost apologetically.
Limestone looked ready to cry. “There’s gotta be a better way to do this.”
Soon, the whole group of girls had huddled up, and were chatting in various degrees and volumes, either arguing about car assignments or what they were going to eat. It got so rowdy at one point that Adagio let loose one of her hidden skills, and sent a piercing whistle through the crowd. Even Sunset, on the far side of the huddle from her, flinched.
“Jesus, Dagi, some warning next time!” Aria barked.
“Well if everyone would be QUIET for ten seconds you would have heard me tell you I was going to DO that. Now,” she said pointedly. “I understand there is a… dissonance between the current car assignments and what everyone actually wants. SO, before we go in there and eat what I assume to be an ungodly amount of meat and starch,” she said with a pointed look at Sunset, who just smiled at the idea, and drooled slightly, “We are going to sit down and figure this out. Which isn’t going to happen IN THE MIDDLE OF A PARKING LOT.”
-----------------------------
As it happened, the Honkers and Popular Pete’s were part of a strip mall with several tables of outdoor seating for the weary shopper. They’d all collected around a couple of picnic benches to have their little pow-wow. “Ok,” Twilight said loudly, gathering everyone’s attention. “So the way I see this, we should be basing the occupancy of each vehicle based on its driver.” There were a few nods at this, most noticeably from Limestone. “From what I understand, Indigo is an… exuberant driver, so she should drive someone used to high speeds.”
The ‘driver’ in question leaned back with a smug grin. “Oh come on, no volunteers? Surely someone can handle a ride in the Zapmobile.”
Rainbow Dash leaned forward. “Is that a challenge? I’m IN!”
Aria cracked her knuckles. “Please. I’ll gladly take you on.”
Adagio tapped her shoulder. “You know if you go with you’re taking Sonata.”
“Oh, come ON!”
“You know she gets separation anxiety!” Adagio insisted, even as Sonata bounced happily in her seat between the two.
Aria huffed. “Jeez. Leave the girl alone in the ‘new world’ for a single century and suddenly everything is my fault.”
“…that explains a LOT,” Sunset said quietly.
Twilight blinked a few times. “O...K. So Indigo’s car is taken care of. Which I guess means there is a vacancy in Limestone’s car?”
Rarity and Fluttershy raised their hands. “PLEASE,” Rarity begged. “I’ve seen Limestone drive. She’s a cautious, responsible adult,” she added with a glare at Zap, who pointedly ignored her. “I would feel much better riding with her.”
Fluttershy nodded vigorously. “Yes, please.”
Limestone gave the pair an appraising look. “Fine. At least you two look quiet. But I don’t have room for all… that,” she said with a growl, pointing at Indigo’s car, and the luggage within.
“Oh, silly,” Pinkie Pie chimed in. “I can ride with AJ and Sour! Then you’ll have plenty of room!”
“...yay,” Limestone grumbled.
“NOPE. Nuh-uh,” Sour Sweet protested. “I have had enough… ENERGY for one day. For a lifetime. These two don’t stop arguing!” she cried, pointing at Dash and Applejack. “It’s just a damn RADIO, you idjits!”
AJ shrugged. “Well, you’re welcome to change cars, y’know.”
“Yeah,” Sunny jumped in. “You could ride with us! We’re having a great time!” Lemon Zest just nodded vigorously, although whether to her own music or Sunny’s statement was a mystery.
“But...” Twilight started.
Sunny huffed. “I’m telling you, Twilight, he doesn’t need a whole seat to himself! There’s enough room in the back of the car for two people AND his carrier. And I’m kind of insulted that he got shotgun, anyway.”
Sunset snorted a laugh. “You made them sit in the back so your dog could have the whole seat to himself?”
“...maybe. Ok, fine! He can sit in the back if it means getting Sour Sweet to calm down. Now, that seems to cover everyone-”
“Wait a minute, hold on!” Aria barked. “How come nobody in Sunset’s car has to change?”
It was Sunset’s turn to look smug. “Because I’m paying for everything, including the car rental, and I piled my car exactly the way I want it.”
Adagio raised a devilish eyebrow at her. “And here I thought you were just being nice.”
Shimmer just grinned.
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This story is getting better and better. You can fell the insanity meter slowly and purposely cranking up towards 11.
And why do I feel most of the characters will have slept with each other by the end of this?
Never leave your pet or kid inside the car regardless of weather temperatures.
8810002
A talking dog that can scream for help and has the emotional maturity and intelligence of a human teenager should be exempt from those rules... for a couple more years at least until his body catches up. Besides, the girls were sitting outside which means Twilight can run to the car easily to check on him. Unfortunately the rules that restaurants have against pets is what has caused situations like pet death.
I love how neither Sunset nor Adagio denied that they were secretly planning to take over the world together. And the general sense of building madness. Eagerly looking forward to more.
Sonata and Pinkie in the same car is bad. Aira and Limestone in the same car is worse. Both pairs in the same car? Someone gon' die on that trip.
I would not put it past them to have such a plan in the works if they needed it.
This just made me crack up.
Oh good, you have taste.
This I GOTTA hear.
Oh. Yeah, that'd about do it.
Of course you wouldn't.
True enough.
She has a point.
She is best Shadowbolt.
Yeah, those piercing whistles HURT.
Agreed.
That's fair.
She is. She's also pragmatic.
Being somewhat tipsy, I approve.
I'm pretty sure it's Clockwork Orange-like stuff, except it makes you more violent rather than less violent.
vicious. Definitely.
9192451
lol, i did a double-take when i first read that line. while “vicious” probably was intended, its hilarious as-is. im gonna try usin that as an insult sometime 😆
awwwww, Trixie! i just wanna give her hugs, with her overblown-ego-compensating-for-deep-seated-insecurities self