The Last of the Time Lords. The Oncoming Storm. The Predator, those very names ring fear throughout the cosmos, and for good reason. Good men don't need rules, and there's a very good reason the Doctor has so many. Just coming off from a true Voyage of the Damned, the Doctor finds himself in one very new situation that he can safely say in all of his 900 years of living, he has never experienced before. Crash landing (Well okay, maybe that isn't quite so new at all for him.) in a land of talking ponies. And now he's one. Well, guess there's only one thing to do. Pretend he knows what he's doing and just do what he's been doing all his life. Run. Do a lot of running. And who knows, maybe he'll find a friend, and possibly more in the local Princess of the Sun. One thing to say to that, really. Allons-Y!
(A rewrite of Once a Time Lord, Now a Pony as it was meant to be, giving Ten and the MLP characters the written justice they deserved but I failed to give them in my first outing.)
Takes place directly after Voyage of the Damned for the Doctor, and Pre-Season One for MLP.
Well here we go again. Let us see how much you grown as an author.
Mistakes founds.
its
While the two spellings are correct, I suggest you stick to only one for constancy purpose.
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You can already take note of quite a few new additions. For one thing, we get flashbacks of "The Runaway Bride" and more insight into the Doctor's state of mind, among other things. (Also, filly Sunset cameo. Feel free to squee, everyone. Rule of thumb that she or the Doctor must make at least a cameo appearance in any big story I do with me.)
I thought the Doctor was always male.
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(Though, one of these days he could be a female, ya never know.)
Who said I meant the Doctor?
Never watched Doctor Who personally, but the chapter seems interesting enough if a little rushed.
...
Although, if there is one complaint it would be that this seems over dramatized. Right off the bat, all of time and space is on the line! We're not talking about the end of a single world, but the unraveling of reality. That's pretty big even for adventure stories. I'll reserve judgement until the story develops a little more.
In other words, you have my curiosity now how will you grab my attention?
Edit: I just checked the tags, disregard everything before this. I don't think this is going to be my cup of tea. Good luck in the future, and may you always be inspired.
8229363
All of reality in danger? Happens quite often on Dr Who. Mainly cause of Daleks.
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Although you mean well, Please do make sure your not leaving errors as well, as you seem to come off as a hypocrite.
8230518
Actually, I appreciate him pointing out errors where he spots them, as it does help me grow as a writer and helps make this story better. Grammarly doesn't catch everything, after all.
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Don't get me wrong, I understand that. But I find it pretty ironic that he points them out while making mistakes himself.
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Well if you do spot some mistake that I missed, do highlight them. I'm only human and thus fallible.
The fourth doctor said that in The Face of Evil.
8246479
Well, presumably it's entirely possible the Tenth Doctor himself wanting to say the phrase is what he meant.
Yep, the change are truly happening now. Can't really talk about it without spoiling, but I can't already say that the pacing is better.
Found a mistake.
an
Oooh, I like this. Can't wait for more!
Well s
8296109
Yeah, that about sums it up really. Time to stop bouncing around and throw everypony off the deep end, metaphorically speaking, and let them see just what kind of terror the Doctor Who universe can bring.
8296115
The moment you mentioned what they were moving I knew exactly what it was. That's the downside to knowing what the dr who verse brings. There's so many opportunities for something unique.
Flash took another look at the statue, which had its forelegs over its eyes, almost as if it were weeping. He shuddered again as the unicorn guard lowered it into place with his magic. Was it just him, or was that statue watching him?
I hate these things.When I saw them in the episode when I was 9 I had nightmares.Why did u have to bring in the weeping angels.
Well here starts the casualties.
Boy the Weeping Angels are some of the most vicious killers in Doctor Who. I think only the Vashta Nereda best them.
Mistakes found.
Cadance 12x
he
Guardspony
I'm surprise Soarin' spelled with an apostrophe at the end is actually an accepted form.
8296265
Yeah, things are about to get... scary to put it lightly. Honestly, I think the Weeping Angels are worse than the Vashta Nerada. At least with those things, you can run from them. The Angels, not so much. As for Cadence's/Cadance's name, there actually is no incorrect spelling with her. In the season three premiere credits, it's used as Cadence and in old Italian spelling, Cadance would be spelled Cadence. To be honest, there is no right or wrong way to spell her name here.
Now, why would Celetia want a weeping angel in her gardens :thinking:
Also, Flash's reaction was a bit... underwhelming? He just kind of shrugged the crazynes of what just happened off.
8296412
True, the spelling should had been Cadence, but I think it's the toy line who made the mistake first and spelled it Cadance.
And since the toys went out first the spelling Cadance was seen first and Hasbro decided to stick to it and made it the official name (you can even check the tag name on this site) even if her full name is still spelled Cadenza.
Also there were some saying that it was more easy for Hasbro to trademark the name with this peculiar spelling.
You can leave as it is, but others might call you out on this.
8296524
It's entirely possible she doesn't know what she got her hooves on. I mean, it was described as just a statue of a regular Pegasus, not like how Weeping Angels normally appear. As for Flash shrugging things off, strange things like this may be not that unusual for Canterlot. (Granted, not this strange but...)
8228704
You mean like the next regeneration? (The one after Capaldi)
8311344
Hilarious in hindsight much? While I wasn't referring to the newest Doctor, I had no idea Jodie would be the next one after all, this revelation makes that comment just that much more funnier.
And here come the Weeping Angels. Also R.I.P. Flash Sentry... again.
Mistakes found:
Rassilon 2x
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Who said I killed him this time?
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Why wouldn't you?
It is clear it got him, even if you implied he faint in front of it, he's been taken. And if he was brought to the past to have his potential life feed on and comes back as an old stallion at present time, he won't have long to live anyway.
Before I read this, what is the Gore and Horror tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
P.S. Why is it in Some pony they know AND Anything you want to put ?
8322586
There's no gore yet, but there are elements of horror in the chapter.
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Well, the "Anything you want to put" folder sorta speaks for itself, as for the other one, said pony that the Mane Six knows is Shining Armor. You can already see elements of it by him not wanting to be around very large crowds.
Nice to see the Doctor's going to get back in action! Sad to see Flash was more worried with the statue than with his fellow guard xD
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He does have AS !?
p.s. the Anything you want to put are for stories that are not make by a AS nor has one
Is the mind palace an actual thing? It seems vaguely familiar but I don't really remember it.
8327864
Yeah, it's a real thing. The Doctor himself showed it off in the episode Heaven Sent. Here's information on it if you're interested. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Method_of_loci
Im sure if the Doctor and Celestia met in the past he warned her about changing things
Well the action can now start. I don't remember Cadance being snatch at the end of last chapter, but never mind, it will just help Shinning having more trust in the Doctor once he saves her.
I do like the Doctor's snarky comments, especially his answer of what kind of doctor he is. It come unexpected since him used to him replying Time and Space.
Mistake found.
stallion (it's Celestia point of view)
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Yeah, I admit Ten's a bit more snarky than he normally would be from what I remember, but to be fair I had "Mummy on the Orient Express" on my mind while writing this chapter so a bit of Capadi's Doctor may have rubbed itself off into my writing style for Ten.
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I do think it still falls right in Ten's character. He often put upfront as a rude person, he doesn't realise it or just after and have to ask if he was rude, which was a humorous trait of him.
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I thought he was irritable for what he saw as unjust imprisonment.
8375125
Maybe a little, but he's mostly poking fun at Shinning, cause until he learn about the Weeping Angels he was pretty much giddy about crashing into an all new universe and excited of all the new wonders he can discover.
8366519 the doctor lies.
8367684 this is some entertaining stuff right here. I'll be tracking this story and see were it goes.
Interested to see where this goes and when Cadance ended up, as we know Weeping Angels ither kill you outright or shunt you back in time, can't kill Cadance she's a "special" case the angels would want to feed off her Lucky we got a time machine eh?
I expect Weeping Angels have an instinctual hatred for Time Travelers.
considering the way the Doctor has been treated by authority figures since the third Doctor its little wonder he distrusts them. Of course he probably means Celestia's comment about being immortal as just that she's long lived. If he realized the truth he'd realize how much of a power boost and much history could screwed up by the angel getting Princess Celestia. I imagine Cadance was quite a meal for the angel
Celestia had the right reaction and attitude towards the Doctor's distrust of authority figures and this will certainly play in her favour.
Also don't worry about delays, most of us are either back at school or at work, so this actually help us not be too much distract.
Mistakes found.
hooves
Its
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A meal the Doctor will have to "unmake" but like in my last comment, time travelers are the weeping angel's natural for, able to just snatch meals from them. Of course this is Doctor Who and well even unavoidable mucking about in time has consequences. Of course if Cadance is immortal she just needs to wait around to "catch up", most likely under a sleeping charm so she doesn't mess up the timeline. In fact, a Weeping Angel would love an immortal, they could feed on them over and over.
Why is he offended?
By that I mean is there a social Faux Pas I'm not aware of?
Frankly, I'd consider it offensive to use 'Somepony'. I consider it very exclusionary. There are non-ponies that live there and there the ponyfolk go pretending they are the only ones that exist. I even imagine a less polite doctor like the twelfth would call them our on it. Maybe even say something like "that's quite the narcisistic streak your people have Princess,"
Then again, the doctor hasn't met any non-ponies on Equestria yet...
there's a weird bit where Celestia & Doctor bond over the feeling of loss and then Doctor imediately goes mistrustful out of nowhere. Something needed to happen for the Doctor to turn like that. Alterateively, you could've done with the bonding bit later so they aren't chummy one second and at odds the next. the Doctor would look a bit unlikable if he's nasty to someone who is going out of there way to be nice to him for the rest of the fic so having that bondig moment later on would fix that.
According to your timeline these events take place after Voyage of the Damned (2007) so the reference to End Of Time (2009) where The Timelords tried to bring Galifrey to Earth doesn't fit.
I don't mean to sound overly critical I LOVED the rest but the last two bits didn't make sense and the first was just personal preference.
I'm also unreasonably happy that you used my idea. It was so cool that you credited me for it too! I really wasn't expecting that. Thanks!
Great, now I'm picturing Rainbow Dash challenging a Weeping Angel to a race.
Man, I feel so bad for flash sentry here. He gets a lot of flack handed to him, and now it seems that he won't be escaping from the angels grasp now :(.