Canterlot Observatory
Twilight, eyes widened in horror, continued to stare at the horrific image in front of her, whispering to herself how it just couldn’t be true, how Celestia couldn’t have been a monster at one point. That this was all a forgery.
But the evidence spoke for itself, and it was damning.
“It started, one supposes, after the banishment of Princess Luna. Something in Celestia changed, and not for the better. Perhaps it was needed for those times, one can only guess. Equestria had erupted into chaos, after the loss of one of its two rulers. The Royal Court was up at arms, shouting for order, and Equestria’s enemies saw this as a chance to strike.
“Queen Arthropod, the very first of the Changeling Queens, and if this writer is to be believed, quite possibly the last, saw this as a chance to overthrow Celestia and take her kingdom for her own. Oh, how to describe her? Jet black in chitin color, with a maroon mane and carapace looking like a demon out of Tartarus itself, and an attitude to match.
“Terrifying was her fury, as she razed villages to the ground. Bat-ponies in Southern Equestria were the first to feel her wrath, as their villages were sucked dry of any love to be found, and then burned to the ground by Arthropod’s soldiers. Any of the bat-winged equines that remained fled to the northern mountains, perhaps never to be seen again.
“As for our dear Princess? Celestia could not let this march on her kingdoms stand. But she knew she could not face the Queen and her forces alone, and so she called for aid. Thankfully, this call did not go unanswered. In those days, Equestria had an ally, the Hippogriffs of Mount Aeris or Hippogriffia as it was known in those days in the southern seas. And what a glorious ruler it had, Queen Novo. A fuchsia mane, and a bright white coat. A splendorous beauty if there ever was one.
“Side by side, they fought, Queen Novo and Princess Celestia against the invading forces. Like a fury, they took down any who stood in their way. Novo, with her claws and Celestia with powerful magic spells. Finally, the forces of Arthropod were driven to their sole remaining hive, with all of the others blasted into ruin by a combination of Hippogriff and Royal Solar Guard forces.
“Arthropod, in one last desperate attempt, fought Celestia in a battle to the death. To her credit, the Queen put up quite the fight. She’d cocooned Novo, sucking her love energy away to power her own abilities. Mountains were blasted apart, and the seas raged as the two rulers went head to head. But in the end, there could only be one victor. Arthropod’s horn was shattered, and Celestia staked her through the heart, using her own horn like a lance.
“Something snapped in our dear Princess that day. I’m not quite sure what it was. Perhaps it was the stress of losing her own sister, or maybe it was the weeks of a tireless battle against an unforgiving foe. Or maybe, just maybe, this writer suspects, whatever overtook Luna had snuck a part of itself into Celestia as well. But whatever the case, our dear Princess of the Sun… changed. She became battle hungry, and lost the forgiveness and kindness she was known for. She planted Arthropod’s head on a stake, and while she advanced on the hive, kept it was a trophy to show the former queen’s forces, that yes, they’d lost.
“No chances for parley were given, much to everyone who was involved in this's horror, shock, and disgust. Instead, Celestia’s mane became that of a burning inferno. She drove the Changelings into the hive, and then burned it to the ground with a pure hellish hate.
“One brave soldier, Ironhead, raised his ire against this, calling it unequine in nature. Novo’s right-hand commander, Stratus Skyranger voiced his opinions against this as well. But it was all for naught, and they too were thrown into the blaze.
“It was over only in a matter of minutes, but the aftermath shocked Equestrians and Hippogriffs alike. Novo voiced her disgust with Celestia, calling her by the title “Daybreaker” after her fury had subsided, and broke off their alliance. She, and her hippogriff soldiers returned to Mount Aeris, and they have never contacted Equestria since, taking the southern lands for themselves and banishing Celestia/Daybreaker from them. Surprisingly, she went along with this, allowing her kingdom to be divided in two.
“But it was far from over. Nobles, those who voiced dissent over these actions had only one fate meant for them. The chopping block. No voices of reason seemed to be allowed, or listened to. It was an age of blood and fire.
“The most shocking twist, however, had yet to come. In those days, there were seven Elements. Magic, Honesty, Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and last but not least… Forgiveness. But it was this last element that was never to be seen again after those days. It shattered and was never to be seen again. The other elements, they took flight from Celestia and left only behind worthless stones in their place. Celestia let out a scream of rage, or maybe it was sadness and horror -One can only hope it was this- at what she’d become and the days of fire and blood were over at last.
“Equestria’s darkest age had come to an end, and a new day of bright light was to follow. But its reputation was forever tainted amongst the southern lands, and Celestia shall, quite sadly, all because of one day of pure rage building up inside her let loose, be forever remembered as the monster known as Daybreaker. Now, she is known as the Mourning Princess, shut away in her chambers letting her personal assistants do the work of ruling the kingdom for her. She is nothing but a shadow of her former self, and that perhaps… is the greatest tragedy of them all.
“As my final words on the matter, I look back in shame at what our Princess has turned into, and what she once was. It is this writer’s hope, that maybe one day, the Princess we know and love will return.”
-As transcribed by the loyal servant of the true Princess Celestia, one Ink Pot
Twilight thought back aways, she thought about one of the windows in the throne room. It had been one of her first lessons with Celestia -Twilight had to wonder if she could even call her mentor that now- when she was just a small little filly.
There was a small chip in that window now. Twilight had been trying to perform a simple levitation spell, just as a test of her own strength. She’s been so eager to please, Instead, she’d accidentally shattered the window into pieces. Oh, she remembered the waterworks she’d shed that day.
She’d been so terrified, what if her apprenticeship was over before it had really begun? But Celestia had simply wiped away her tears, and give her student a gentle smile.
The fact that Twilight had moved the window, but shattered it instead, Celestia had told her, was a testament to her strength.
Twilight had asked, “What about the window? That had to have been centuries old!”
Celestia only laughed and said in reply: “No, only a decade, in fact. And I never liked it anyways. I wanted a new one, and had been meaning to have an excuse to get it replaced anyhow. Besides, you think you’re the first to try and levitate one of those windows? No, Royal Guards, while taking them out to polish the stained glass have shattered them. That window… it’s one of a long line of replacements for the original.”
That had been Twilight’s first real look at Celestia, her kindness and her gentleness. The Princess… she’d kept a chip of that window, and put it in the new one just as a reminder of that moment and of how proud she was of her student. But now, in a single moment, that had all been shattered. Just like the window.
Celestia sat in her chair, shivering as the memories of Twilight played havoc with her past. With how viciously she had cleaved through the Changeling dogs of Arthropod, she severely doubted which side to take. She was too much of a monster in Twilight’s eyes, yet she still had a number of fond memories of her as her pupil. “Sweet gods above, why must I be plagued by this heartache?!” Her head slumped down into her chest as she cursed herself.
“Celestia…” Twilight slowly trotted up to her, seeing her inner discord from a mile away. “Are you still thinking about that stuff with Queen Arthropod?”
Tears streamed down Celestia’s face as she spoke.
“Yes, Twilight. And it’s tearing me apart just thinking about it!” Her head snapped back up to meet Twilight’s. “How can I, the Princess of the Sun, be seen as such a monster, yet a beloved ruler at the same time?”
“Celestia…” Twilight reached forward to try and pat her mentor’s mane, but her hoof was quickly dismissed and sent back to her side. “That’s all in the past now. Look how far you’ve come since then. The ponies love you for who you are; not what you were.”
“Perhaps…” Celestia began. “But what would they think, if this information were ever to come to light, as it just has with you, the Doctor and Periwinkle?”
She gestured to the ponies in question. Professor Periwinkle, shock. The Doctor, disappointment.
“Sometimes… I do have to wonder, why did I leave that scroll under so little security?” Celestia asked. “Maybe… Just maybe, I wanted it to be found. To let ponies know what I once was. And for me… Never to forget. That seventh element? It’s yet to return, and I suspect it never will even if the others do. You must think of me as a monster Twilight, and don’t try denying it, I can see it in your eyes. And the thing is? I do not blame you.” Celestia continued.
“Wh-what?” Twilight’s voice had thinned, as if she had taken an invisible blade to the heart. “Why… would you ever want to blame me for what you did? Were we… were we just reminders of your past?” She started to take a few steps backwards. “N-no… No! I don’t believe it. I refuse to believe it!”
“Proof’s in the pudding, right? To use a human phrase the Doctor once said,” Celestia replied. “That scroll… it’s no forgery. Those events, they did happen. Perhaps, after Luna did leave me, I lost the ability to care.”
“So… you really did lead a violent warpath?” Twilight’s entire mouth trembled. Not even looking at Celestia would give her the confidence to help her out anymore. Her entire world had been flipped upside down, and all because of the actions of one Changeling Queen from a millennium ago. “I… I can’t believe you! How could you?!” With no more bravery, Twilight resorted to the one thing she had left: Disbelief. “You seem so perfect to me. To everyone! But deep down, you’re just a monster, a monster who can’t forgive herself, but is trying to bury the past!”
“Who said I buried it?” Celestia asked. “Like I said, I…” her voice came out as a deep shuddering breath. “I wanted it to be found, deep down inside somewhere. And you’re absolutely right, I am a monster. Maybe we all are, deep inside.”
“Maybe you are, but I’m not…” Twilight turned away from Celestia and ran off. “And we all know what happens to monsters in this world. They face the music!” She barged out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
Celestia teleported after her, and was soon right in front of Twilight. “Before you go, before you throw me out of your life forever… Ask yourself this. There may be a time when you yourself may commit actions that you’ll never forgive yourself for. Maybe Ink Pot was right, maybe a bit of the Nightmare did leech onto me, or maybe not. Maybe she… No, I, committed those actions of my own accord. I may never know, really.”
“If that time does come, then somepony will defeat me before I walk the path you did.” Twilight pushed through her. “Goodbye, Celestia. May Equestria prosper with—“ She gave her a cold glare “—or without you.” And with that, she ran as far as she could, leaving Celestia, the Doctor, and Periwinkle behind.
Celestia took another deep shuddering breath, and the dam finally broke, as tears streamed down her face. She knew she’d lost her student.
“Goodbye… Twilight Sparkle,” she whispered and swore quietly to herself. The false Nightmare, she’d won. Whatever it was Celestia had done to Enigma in the past —Because really, who else could it be under that glamor—, she’d won out and hurt Celestia where it would hit the most. Her family, her adopted daughter.
“Now, Doctor, do you see what I am?” Celestia asked. “The Solar Tyrant, that’s what they should call me. Not the Solar Princess. But I must ask, why do you not accuse me and scorn me like Twilight? I lied to you, remember?”
“You saw that power I unleashed. I’m always afraid that one day I’ll just say “Damn it all!” and give in to that power, and what would come out… I honestly don’t want to even think about. For centuries, I’ve had whispers in my ears, just telling me to use that power against anypony or anything who stands in my way. But I never listened… Until today, that is. Today, it was the closest I ever came to just giving in and showing the whole of Equestria the power their ruler holds. Can you imagine what it’d be like, just giving in like that and letting power overtake you, no rules or anything standing in your way?”
“Yes, but I re-quote what I said then: “Yes, I have imagined, not letting any of the rules I’ve set up for myself stand in my way. Just ignore the laws of time, not just bend them… Break them. Hell, there’s even one version of me out there -The Valeyard- who’s done exactly that. It could happen one day, just as it could happen to you. Good men don’t need rules. We are not good men, or ponies. So yes, I think we could easily succumb to our own desires. But you know why I think we won’t? Because of the oldest thing in the universe… Love. We love who we watch, and there are those that keep us in check. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?”
Celestia chuckled, and smiled. “Who watches the watchers?”
The Doctor flashed back briefly, to a moment where he wasn't so different from Celestia.
“Oh, but I’m not from Mars.” The Doctor remarked. He was below the Thames, with spiderwebs above him and a facing a red skinned arachnoid like creature with the body of a human and very sharp claws. Nasty temperament too at that.
“Then where?” The Empress had asked him.
“My home planet is far away and long since forgotten, but its name lives on. Gallifrey.” He stated, in an almost arrogant tone of voice.
“THEY MURDERED THE RACNOSS!” The Empress had screeched at him in pure rage and fury at hearing that hated name, and in a cold tone of voice the Doctor simply replied:
“I warned you.” He growled out as he held small red baubles in his hand and then tossed them to the winds...
“MY CHILDREN!” She screeched in rage as flames burned like Hellfire around the Doctor. The dying screeches of her babies filled the room as water rushed down a large hole. A red haired woman, in a bridal gown, looked on in horror. She had seen the wondrous, charming side of the Doctor’s life, now she was seeing him in pure cold fury. Unrestrained and almost nobody to stop him. And it had all happened in a single day.
“Doctor, you can stop now!”
“And… And I’ve been in your position once before, letting rage overtake me. It was a time when I’d lost someone near and dear to me, like you did. I let an entire race drown under the Thames River in London, and one woman… God bless her heart, held me back. She told me I could stop, and then… When all was said and done, she told me how terrified she was of me, and the thing is… she was right. We are gods, and if we ever let our power overtake us…”
“Nothing could stand in our way,” Celestia finished. “But now Doctor, I ask you, what do I do now? How can I repair my relationship with my student? I’ve already lost one to anger, and I don’t want to lose another…” she whispered, tears still dripping from her eyes as an image of a student with flaming red and yellow hair re-entered her mind, not for the first time in the past few years. But a hoof wiped the tears away. However, to her surprise, it wasn’t the Doctor’s.
“Give her time, that’s all I can say,” Periwinkle said to Celestia. “We all say things we don’t mean, in times of rage and grief. Her image of you -Like mine- as this perfect Princess may have been shattered, but you’re still the same Celestia you were before the darkness overtook you,” he continued. “Kind, caring, and gentle. In time, Twilight will remember that. You just need to give her that,”
“And yet… I cannot forgive myself,” Celestia continued. “That Element, it ran so far away from me, that it may never be found. It’s entirely possible that it was so repulsed by my own actions it may never be found. Luna’s fall, and the bloodshed that followed, they are all on me. I honestly believe that I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done. I have lost touch with a crucial part of myself, and that perhaps… Might just be the greatest tragedy in all of this. I am no longer the pony I once was, and I never will be again.” she whispered, and swore quietly yet again as she imagined a stone gray mare laughing as the seeds of vengeance took root. Damn her, Celestia thought. Damn her.
Unknown to anyone, hiding in the shadows, was a lavender coated figure, equine in shape and with a horn jutting from her forehead. And she cried, not just for her own actions, and not just for those lost in a horrific burning, but for Celestia herself.
Even as her mind swirled with images of Changelings, a pony and a hippogriff dying and screaming in a horrific blaze of hellfire from Tartarus itself, and a fiery-maned mare laughing at the pure devastation -With a purple-maned hippogriff looking on in disgust, and ponies watching in horror- she remembered something else. A kindly mare, with a heart that blazed as bright as the sun itself, and one who despite everything she’d been through never wavered in her stance to defend those who could not defend themselves.
Twilight sobbed, and ran off into an alleyway, her mind swirling with questions. No, she couldn’t face her mentor yet. Maybe someday, but not today.