Adipose Industries:
And so with a new curiosity soundly pricked, the team returned to the office building. Rainbow for one was so glad to be out of that van.
“Ugh, let me tell you,” she muttered. “I was starting to get claustro-whatever it is just by staying in that thing. I’m a pegasus, we do not do cramped spaces!”
“Claustrophobic, Rainbow Dash? I should imagine the phobic part’s not that hard to remember.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Besides, it could be worse. You could have something called Quesadillaphobia.”
“...Do I even want to know?” Rainbow asked as she walked down the darkened hallway with her friend and Jack. “...Seriously, do I even want to know? Still say I missed out on Ianto’s infiltration earlier. You could have passed me off as a mutated chihuahua or something. Or a giant plushie. Whichever works.”
“Oh, get over it, you two. This isn’t the right time to be talking about phobias!” The Doctor muttered to himself. “There’s something fishy going on in this place and I don’t mean the kind of fishy that’s battered and accompanied with chips, salt, and vinegar.”
“Just sayin’, I missed out on something awesome...” Rainbow muttered to herself. Truth be told, she wasn’t happy but not for the reasons you’d expect. Ever since Jack came on the scene with his fancy Torchwood team of badasses then she had started feeling… well, inferior I suppose you could call it? She wanted to prove herself useful, but time and again Jack and co stole the spotlight.
“Awesome? What do you mean awesome, Rainbow Dash?” Ianto asked over the radio lifting one of his brows. “I don’t think anything about walking lumps of fat with faces and wide eyes like something out of a horror film could ever be awesome...”
“They were kinda… and can’t believe I’m saying this… well, kinda cute actually,” Rainbow said with a shudder and both the Doctor and Twilight looked at her. “...I know, surprised me too for saying that.”
“...So what exactly are we supposed to be looking for here Doc?” Jack asked. “I mean, really? Is it something we’ll just know when we see it?”
“There’s something buried underneath Adipose Industries. Something that I don’t think anyone but the top dog gets to see. Whether it’s some kind of incriminating data file, some kind of high-class weapon, or a factory involving those… things, it’s dangerous. And we are probably the only creatures on this planet who can pull this off.”
“...Well, the thing is there is an obvious solution to all of this,” Jack noted and everyone looked at him this time. “Just go look in Miss Foster’s… office,” he said slowly as if he had suddenly realized something. The Doctor was soon to follow.
“OOOOHHHHHH! OH!” He shouted before muttering. “Oh…”
“What, what is it?” Gwen’s voice crackled over the radio.
“You and Ianto just stay put, keep an eye on things from outside and be ready to move if anything happens,” Jack said. “Don’t you see? Foster. As in foster mother! How did we not realize this?”
“Perception filter? ...Or maybe we’re just that thick.” the Doctor muttered nickering in disgust.
“You know there are so many jokes I could make about you right now, right?” Jack asked. “Say for example you got a cold. I could say you were feeling a little… horse!”
Rainbow, Twilight, and the Doctor all gave him a flat stare.
“...Okay, a poor joke I know.” Jack admitted.
“Just stick to your job, Torchwood boy.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at him before soon her and Jack began lagging behind.
“Gee. Sorry. Didn’t know you girls hated puns,” Jack shrugged. “For real, though. Why do you hate puns?”
“I’m not saying I mind puns, I just prefer good ones,” Rainbow remarked. “Now lay it on me Torchwood boy, what’s being an immortal really like? Surely it’s not just all babes and action heroics…”
“Have you ever considered just about how pointless death is? When you can just keep coming back to life over and over again without anything stopping you?” Jack Harkness let out the longest sigh that he had ever unleashed, causing his blood to run cold as his body shivered. “All this time, thinking that you’re gonna die, when in reality, you can’t. Ever. Not even if the world were to just blow up and wipe everything out all at once. Truth be told, Rainbow Dash, I want a challenge. I want something to make the action all worth it. But how do I make it all worth it when I can never, ever, EVER die?”
Rainbow debated on telling Jack about the Face of Boe thing she’d heard the Doctor mention once or twice. She knew Jack was from this place called the Boeshane Peninsula, so that did raise questions…
“...Honestly, I don’t actually know,” Rainbow muttered. “...You know, somehow I just realized how Princess Celestia feels, and her sister.”
Jack looked at her curiously. “Who are Princess Celestia and her sister? Are they girls that I should know about?”
Rainbow chuckled. “Always the flirt aren’t you? ...Mind you, I wouldn’t recommend flirting with Princess Celestia, not unless you want the Doctor after your ass. His main squeeze… I think. Well, if you believe Twilight anyways. Personally, I find it hard to believe, Celestia dating anypony but…” she shrugged her shoulders.
Jack suddenly remembered a conversation he’d had earlier with the Doctor back at the base. He had mentioned he was out on the dating scene or something to that effect. Okay, now he was having that honorary big brother talk with this ‘Princess Celestia’. Well, he supposed it couldn’t be any weirder than the Doctor dating Janis Joplin for a time. Could it?
“There’s one thing that I can say about being immortal, Rainbow Dash. And I think someone like you is gonna wanna go with this advice,” Jack broke the silence between them at long last. “If you’re gonna be a long-term thrill seeker; someone who wants to be risky, dangerous, and love every second of it, then PLEASE, for the love of god, don’t wind up like me. My life might seem like it’s all chaos and no rest, but in truth, all of the chaos is just boring now. I’m gonna survive it regardless, so what’s even the point? I’m what they call one of those Mary Sues now,” he laughed bitterly.
Rainbow decided not to question what a Mary Sue was. Instead, she just did something that surprised even her. She actually wrapped her forelegs around Jack’s waist and hugged him tightly. “Listen to yourself, you big dumb idiot. There’s always something worth living for, you hear?”
“I know that. I’m just telling you that if you’re seeking danger, don’t be like me. Just be yourself. And while you’re at it, try not to find any immortality drinks or stuff,” Jack chuckled weakly before the laughter faded not long after. “So tell me, who is Princess Celestia, and what’s she like?”
“Oh, she’s like totally cool and stuff, raises the sun while her sister raises the moon and all that. Her sister got corrupted for a while, and was tossed inside the moon like some Neighponiese anime but thanks in part to my awesomeness -and Twilight’s- she’s back now,” Rainbow said waving a hoof casually and dismissively before she noticed the look on Jack’s face. “...Or is this sort of stuff not common on your world?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that it’s far-fetched. I mean, a pony raising the sun and another raising the moon? After what I’ve seen with Doc and his pals and some of the shite here at Torchwood, it hardly seems impossible now, does it?”
“So what’s your weirdest thing then?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“...Might have been Owen, bless him, giving Death itself the metaphorical middle finger…”
“...Oh, I can see why you’re one of the Doc’s friends,” Rainbow smirked. “You and I, I think we’re going to get along just… fine.” Rainbow murmured but Jack picked up on her tone.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“Agh… I don’t know. Maybe it’s jealousy? Do I get jealous? It’s just… well, I suppose after you guys came along I’m starting to feel like a bit of a third wheel I guess. I mean, you’ve known the Doc longer than I have and he seems so pleased to have you around again,” Rainbow said before laughing bitterly. “Tartarus, why don’t you and I switch spots around eh?”
“Heh. That’ll be the day,” Jack scoffed with a smile. “But seriously, the Doc… He’s picky on his companions. If you’ve earned his respect, then you’re onboard the TARDIS for a reason. For a reason.”
Rainbow could simply chuckle to herself. This was true enough she supposed. The Doctor did not pick his companions carelessly. There was always a reason, a method to his madness. But before she or Jack could think on this any further, there was a loud screeching sound before they felt the ground rushing up to meet them…
“Anyone seen Jack?” Twilight had to ask as the twosome made their way up to Miss Foster’s office. “...Please don’t tell me he got lost.”
“Rainbow Dash isn’t here either…” The Doctor scratched his chin. “You don’t suppose they wound up into trouble? I really hate it when that happens.”
“Rainbow can take care of herself, so can Jack. I mean, it would just be a simple matter of kicking someone in the face to floor them, right?” Twilight asked. “And you may not believe this, but Rainbow’s stronger than she looks. I think she could fly Jack out of any troubling situations in 10 seconds flat.”
“Unless someone created a hyper-gravitational effect in the room, therefore nullifying all forms of movement not going directly down to the ground… But what am I thinking? There’s no way anyone could have cooked up something like that. I’m right, aren’t I? There’s no such thing as gravity tech?” The Doctor asked around, only to be met with silence. “Okay. Yeah. You’re probably right.”
“Keep talking to yourself Doc, and people will start to think you’re crazy,” Twilight teased before she stopped and gestured with a hoof. “Oh, hold up. I hear… something. Not sure what it is, but…”
She and the Doctor pressed themselves to a window that looked inside Foster’s office. In her haste, Twilight forgot to case a ‘notice me not’ spell.
Meanwhile, in the Torchwood SUV Ianto was studying the little pendant he’d gotten from the office. The Doctor had said something about it being a bio flip switch, whatever that meant. Suddenly, for whatever reason, he felt a sudden urge to run out of the van.
“Ianto, where the ‘ell are you going!?!” Gwen shouted. “We were supposed to stay put! ...God, men!”
Back inside the building a certain reporter was brought inside Foster’s office by two massive men. Twilight and the Doctor shared a nervous swallow, they looked… dangerous.
“...You can't tie me up. What sort of a country do you think this is?” Penny demanded.
Miss Foster could only chuckle. “Oh dear dear Penny,” she said in this cute but condescending way. “It’s a glorious one. A beautifully fat country. And believe me, I've traveled a long way to find obesity on this scale…”
Penny struggled but stared Foster defiantly in the eyes. “So, come on then, Miss Foster, those pills. What are they?”
Miss Foster chuckled sweetly and held up a capsule. “Well, you might just as well have a scoop, since you'll never see it printed. This is the spark of life.”
“And what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Penny demanded.
“Doctor, we got to get in there,” Twilight demanded in a hushed whisper. “Celestia only knows what they’re going to do to her!”
“Shh, shh. Just listen for now…” the Doctor whispered back.
“Officially, the capsule attracts all the fat cells and flushes them away. Well, it certainly attracts them. That part's true. But it binds the fat together and galvanizes it to form a body. I am a bit surprised you never asked about my name. I chose it well. Foster. As in foster mother. And these are my children…” Foster remarked as a little creature hopped up onto her desk. Twilight and the Doctor’s eyes widened in unison.
“Adipose. It's called an Adipose. Made out of living fat…” the Doctor almost growled. Then his eyes widened for an entirely different reason.
“Just how many of these can she make out of someone?” Twilight asked, watching the Adipose twitch and squirm on the desk. “If she turns entire people into Adipose, then that’s just evil. And she’s asking for a one-way ticket to Tartarus for it.” A short silence occurred as she stared at the Doctor, who blankly stared into the office. “...Umm, Doctor?”
In an opposing window was a red-haired woman. Donna didn’t know how the Doctor had… changed for a lack of a better word but she knew it was him. She just knew. This was the conversation they shared.
Donna?
Doctor? Doctor!
But what? What? What?
Oh my god!
But how?
It's me!
Yes, I can see that.
Oh, this is brilliant.
I was looking for you.
What for?
I read it on the internet. Weird. Crept along. Heard them talking. Hid. You.
Then they finally took notice. “...We interrupting you?” Miss Foster asked. “I mean you are a lovely couple and all but…”
A single word was uttered from both parties. Run.
And so they did, just like old times.
Without any words, the burly, suited men gave chase, armed with weapons that would no doubt do more than silence the Doctor and his friends. The two of them just needed one long corridor and the intruders were finished. Taking the fire escapes and stairwells, the threesome eventually met up in an office full of cubicles. The call centre the Doctor remembered.
“Whew, just like old times!” Donna cried. “See you haven’t changed a bit Spaceman! Because I thought, how do you find the Doctor? And then I just thought, look for trouble and then he'll turn up. So I looked everywhere. You name it. UFOs, sightings, crop circles, sea monsters. I looked, I found them all,” she rambled as the group ran into another room, another call center. “Like that stuff about the bees disappearing, I thought, I bet he's connected. Because the thing is, Doctor, I believe it all now. You opened my eyes. All those amazing things out there, I believe them all. Well, apart from that replica of the Titanic flying over Buckingham Palace on Christmas Day. I mean, that's got to be a hoax.”
The Doctor chuckled deciding against telling her that was in fact real.
“Well, on the same site, there was all these conspiracy theories about Adipose Industries and I thought, let's take a look! And here I find you and these guys, I was right, wasn’t I? It’s always like this for you. Hasn’t changed at all!” Donna remarked.
“Nor you, Donna!” The Doctor replied as he narrowly avoided a wave of energy from the guards’ lasers. The top parts of his hair couldn’t say the same, as they were fried off.
Twilight threw up a shield to deflect the energy blasts and then used her magic to toss the cubicles at the men. They fell to the ground with mighty thuds, and Donna blinked.
“...We really need to talk about where you found your new friend.”
“Yeeeeeeeahhhh, um, it’s a bit of a long story…” The Doctor admitted. “Good work on taking out those slabs Twilight!”
“I do my best but… Wait, slabs?” Twilight asked looked quite confused.
“Just a slang word for very, very bad men who serve no purpose other than being bodyguards for someone like her,” The Doctor barreled his way towards the exit. “Now c’mon! Before they get back up!”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of you going anywhere…” Miss Foster said as she stepped into view with two more Slabs holding Rainbow and Jack at gunpoint. “See, found these two sneaking about. I’m going to take a wild guess and say they’re friends of yours? Evidently offworlders, the lot of you judging by… well, the talking ponies.”
“Yeah?” Rainbow snarled in defiance. “How do you know we’re not just heavily mutated chihuahuas?”
“Because you don’t act like them.” Foster gave Rainbow Dash a dead stare. “I know a chihuahua when I see it, mutated or not.”
“What, you want me to start yapping and jumping up into your lap?” Rainbow snarked before she stamped a hoof on Miss Foster’s foot making her scream out in pain. While she jumped up and down in pain a pen of sorts went flying from her pocket, landing underneath a desk out of sight. Twilight secretly grabbed it figuring it useful.
“Run, now!” Jack shouted as they ran to a window washer’s cradle resting outside piling all in. The Doctor aimed his sonic upwards, and the cradle started to descend.
“...Oh, this is going to be far too slow, they’ll catch up to us and shoot us!” Donna shouted. “Can’t you make this thing go any faster?”
“Without snapping the cables?” the Doctor fired back. “Yeah, let’s see how that works out.”
“You two are like an old married couple, you know that right?” Jack teased.
“ME MARRY HER/HIM!?!” both of them shouted at Jack.
Then the sound of laser fire was heard from an upper floor as the cables were obliterated by laser fire. Needless to say, the cradle started to fall. Donna slipped and grabbed hold of the edges while Twilight strained her magic to slow their descent.
“Okay. I’d be impressed if I weren’t totally immune to death right about now,” said Jack as Twilight floated the cradle down. “...This will probably hurt though.” he noted as Twilight began to look dizzy. Magic was still no match for the force of gravity.
“Hold on!” the Doctor called to Donna.
“What do you think I’m doing!?!” Donna shouted. “Having a spot of tea?”
Then, she slipped. Rainbow Dash took flight and within about ten seconds Donna found herself on the speedster’s back hanging on for dear life.
“...You know, as a little girl I always wanted a pony.” Donna muttered to herself as the Doctor tossed the sonic to Rainbow and she smashed open a glass window with it. She was quick to land inside another office building.
“Yep, I’m still awesome!” Rainbow cried punching the air. “Who can stop a falling woman from going splat. This guy!”
The Doctor and company were soon levitated into the same office but soon were found to be held at gunpoint by four slabs with Miss Foster looking on…
“Well, then. At last.” Miss Foster said straightening her tie.
“Nice to meet you, I'm the Doctor. And this is… oh, we don’t really have time for all these introductions do we?”
“Partners in crime. And evidently, off-worlders, judging by your sonic technology.” Miss Foster noted.
Twilight held up her sonic pen. “Oh, yes, I've still got your sonic pen. Nice. I like it. Sleek. I could do with something like this,” she remarked having to stifle a laugh at the enraged look on Miss Foster’s face. “...and if you were to sign your real name, that would be? Because I highly doubt it’s just Miss Foster.”
“Matron Cofelia of the Five-Straighten Classabindi Nursery Fleet. Intergalactic Class.” Miss Foster introduced herself with a small mock bow. “And you would be.”
“None of your business,” Jack answered with a small growl. “Firstly, holding people and cute little ponies at gunpoint? Rude! And secondly, we need to talk about you being a wet nurse using people as surrogates. Pretty sure that’s against intergalactic law somewhere.”
“It is, Jack. Earth’s a level five planet. And the last time I checked, seeding a level five planet is against galactic law.”
“I've been employed by the Adiposian First Family to foster a new generation after their breeding planet was lost,” Miss Foster replied. “And I’m not sure how you do that really, but in any case, I don’t care about politics. I'm just here to take care of the children on behalf of the parents.”
“What, like an outer space super nanny?” Donna scoffed.
“If you like, yes. Sadly we had to speed things up a little,” Foster smiled. “In a crisis, the Adipose can convert bone and hair and internal organs. Makes them a little bit sick, poor things. Do you intend to threaten me?”
“I'm trying to help you, Matron. This is your one chance, because if you don't call this off, then I'll have to stop you.” the Doctor said with a sense of finality.
“And trust me ma’am, I’d hate to see a beautiful woman like you dealt with by the Doctor. It’s never pretty. No second chances with him.”
“I hardly think you can outrun death,” Foster stated before the slabs raised their weapons. “Take aim!”
“Outrun death? Trust me, I can damn well try…” The Doctor remarked. “One more thing, before dying. Do you know what happens if you hold two identical sonic devices against each other?” he asked as he and Twilight held up the twin devices with identical smirks. Everyone else covered their ears.
“No.” Miss Foster said with a look of slight fear and oncoming dread.
“Neither do I. Let’s find out!” the Doctor and Twilight held both devices together and turned them both on. They both created a deafening, awful noise that coated the entire room in no time at all. The slabs were disintegrated by the sheer sound while Foster was rendered half deaf. The glass around everyone was turned to shards by the noise as well, leaving the floor a mess of glass.
Everyone took this as their cue to run. Again. This was starting to get tiring.
MIss Foster growled as she picked herself up off the floor. “...I'm advancing the birth plan. We're going into premature labour.”
She returned to her office, where Penny was still tied up. Foster ignored her and pulled back a wall to reveal a truly massive motherboard.
“This, dear Penny, it's the inducer. We had planned to seed millions, but if that man's an alien, then he's alerted the Shadow Proclamation, and the first one million humans will have to do.”
Meanwhile, the Doctor had found a cupboard in the basement and moved aside a wall to reveal a similar panel. “I've been hacking into this thing all day, because the matron's got a computer core running through the centre of the building. Triple deadlocked,” he said before Twilight tossed him the pen. “But now that we’ve got this… I can get into it. Why's she wired up the tower block? What's it all for?”
In her office, Foster laughed. “Mark the date, Miss Carter. Happy birthday. One million birthdays!”
“So far they're just losing weight, but the Matron's gone up to emergency pathogenesis. Skeletons, organs, everything. A million people are going to die. Got to cancel the signal.”
Then Ianto finally showed up, shooting two slabs in the head who had snuck up behind them. He tossed a certain pendent to the Doctor. “This contains a primary signal! If you can switch it off, the fat goes back to being just fat.”
He was soundly given a kiss by Jack. “Ianto, did I ever tell you how brilliant you are?”
“...Maybe over dinner…” Ianto murmured.
“Boys!” Rainbow shouted. “Shush and let the Doc work!”
Outside, there were hundreds of Adipose roaming the streets much to everyone’s stark bewilderment while Miss Foster was shouting: “Come to me my children, come to me!”
She then flipped up the inducer to double strength much to the Doctor’s frustration.
“No, no, no, no, no. She's doubled it. I need. Haven't got time. It's too far. I can't override it. They're all gonna die!” the Doctor began to panic before Donna held up her own pendant she’d received earlier. “Oh Donna, you are brilliant!”
Then the inducer was shut down. “...I think the Doctor just happened. But we've still given birth to ten thousand Adipose. And the nursery is coming.”
Then there was a loud sound that was indescribable to words as a truly massive flying saucer flew directly over London and was now hovering over the building.
Miss Foster had gone to the roof, a sense of sheer glee and triumph filling her. She’d done it. She’d done it! “Children. Oh, my children, behold. I am taking you home,” she said as blue beams began to lift her and the adipose up into the ship. “Far across the galaxy, your new mummies and daddies are waiting. And you will fly.”
Everyone else just rushed outside. “...And I’m waving at fat.” Gwen muttered to herself with Donna nodding along.
“...Actually, as a diet plan, it sorta worked…” Donna admitted. “Apart from the killing people part and all that.”
The Doctor was on the roof. “Matron Cofelia, listen to me.”
But she was having none of it.”
“Oh, I don't think so, Doctor. And if I never see you again, it'll be too soon.” Foster said.
“Oh, why does no one ever listen. I'm trying to help. Just get across to the roof. Can you shift the levitation beam? Just listen. I saw the Adiposian instructions. They know it's a crime, breeding on Earth. So what's the one thing they want to get rid of? Their accomplice.”
Gwen was way ahead of the Doctor hearing him over the radio and she knew what was about to happen. Pressing a button inside the SUV, a massive airbag was tossed out and Miss Foster landed in it only to be swiftly cuffed by Jack.
“Madame… oh, who cares what your name is anymore. You’re under arrest.”
The Doctor smiled. A disastrous timeline averted. Still, though, he couldn’t help but think he was forgetting something.
“Um, hello? Anyone there? Horse man? You're just mad. Do you hear me? Mad! And I'm going to report you for madness!” Penny shouted still in the office.