“No, no, I’m sorry, but there’s no way in all of Time and Space that I shouldn’t be able to knock a simple apple, from a simple tree! Isaac Newton did it and it proved the law of Gravity, and don’t let history tell you otherwise as I was there!” the Doctor argued over the Apple Family’s dining room table as Big Mac explained the day’s events.
“Well, the fact remains,” Applejack replied simply, with no intended malice in her tone. She was just speaking the truth as always, brutal as her honesty could be. “You and mah brother both took a orchard to yourself, and out all of the apples in said orchard, you managed to buck… none of them from their trees. Now, I’m not trying to be rude here Doc, but-”
“Then stop trying, ‘cause you are.” the Doctor whined. AJ groaned to herself, and promptly facehoofed. If anyone were to listen closely, you would have heard her muttering to herself about how the Doctor was such a child at times.
In the background, a radio played: “You heard my voice, I came out of the woods by choice
Shelter also gave their shade
But in the dark I have no name
So leave that click in my head
And I will remember the words that you said
Left a clouded mind and a heavy heart
But I am sure we could see a new start
So when your hope’s on fire…”
“It’s rude to interrupt,” Big Mac put in. “Let mah sister continue speakin’. Finish yer pie, an’ wash yer muzzle a little okay? Bad table manners to have pie cast all over yet muzzle like it is.”
He daren’t ask if the Doctor was raised in a barn, as that would make him a hypocrite.
“Thank you,” Applejack sighed, before continuing. “Look, the fact of the matter is, ya really haven’t had a honest ta Celestia’s day’s work in yer life Ah think Doctor, at least when it comes to buckin’ apples. Listen Doctor, Ah appreciate the gesture, and an extra hoof around the farm is like a gesture from heaven -heck if the stories circulating about you are ta be believed, yer heaven sent anyways- but there’s no getting around the fact that you’re a lousy worker who needs more experience at this sort of thing. Start out slow, just take one of the smaller orchards. Tryin’ to handle too much work at a time, not good for your health. Trust me on this, Ah would know,” she continued, thinking back to the time when Big Mac had injured himself and Applejack had taken it upon herself to try and handle all of Applebucking Season by herself, and in the end had only managed to tire herself out.
In the end, Twilight had knocked some good common horse sense back into her and she accepted her friends’ help. “Believe me, Ah would know. I’d suggest you start out with slopping out the pig troughs. Mite want ta take that fancy-shmancy suit of yours off though, don’t want to get it dirty Ah’d imagine.” Applejack chuckled to herself.
The Doctor actually laughed in return. “...And probably ditch the coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat, did you know?”
As he walked off to go clean himself up, and take off his so-called fancy-shmancy suit, (Grabbing a Stetson along the way, as Stetsons were cool) Applejack turned to her big brother with a very confused look on her face.
“You have any idea who he’s talking about?”
“Eenope.” was Big Mac’s only answer as ever. The Doctor meanwhile, soon as he was finished changing, headed out to the pig troughs and nearly retched at the smell.
“Take life at a slower pace, I said!” he thought to himself. “God above, what was I thinking? Well, suppose if I want to get in a good day’s hard work, best to start small. God, Rose must be laughing her head off at me right now. Pig troughs, of all the things!” he complained to himself.
As the Doctor tried to scoop out the residue in the troughs, he felt the trowel get stuck in the middle of it. He tried to push the handle down and throw the waste out, but no matter how much force he exerted, the tool wouldn’t budge. He even tried to jump on it a couple times, but it still wouldn’t move. In the end, he slid off of the handle and landed face-first into the grass beneath it.
“I saved civilizations, stopped madmen from destroying worlds, and now I’m working on a farm? Badly at that?!” He tried to pull the handle down by lifting his body off the ground, but that just resulted in the handle snapping off from the rest of the shovel. “Great. Just fantastic…”
He heard a distinct sniggering sound coming from somewhere above him, but paid it no mind. Probably some God up there who loved his misfortune.
“Probably not what I had in mind when I said get away from it all, remove myself from my particular brand of excitement. I should have just gone and met Mistmane and the Kirins, and studied in the art of Zen and feng shui!” the Doctor grumbled to no-one in particular. Eventually, fate did take pity on the Doctor, and Applejack looked up from her bucking and sighed to herself as she shook her head.
“Ya need any help?” Applejack came over, and stared at the battered, grass-coated Doctor. “It looks like ya need it.”
“No, no, I’m doing quite fine,” the Doctor lied. “See, perfectly fine! I’ve just proved this trowel is useless, so you wouldn’t have to!” he said cheerfully. “You could have me check every trowel on the farm for… well, to see if they’re going to break anytime soon. Yeah, that’s it!” he chirped.
“Yer a terrible liar, Doctor,” Applejack said flatly. “Also, that Stetson, doesn’t suit you in the slightest,”
“It so does,” the Doctor sniffed. “Because Stetsons are cool,”
“Just because somethin’s ‘cool’ doesn’t mean it works for you Doctor,” Applejack deadpanned. Another snigger from somewhere above. Applejack blinked a little, she could have sworn she’d heard that snigger from somewhere before. Brushing it off as nothing, she continued. “Functionality before formality as ah always say,”
“Functionality before formality,” the Doctor repeated in a rather mocking tone of voice, quite fed up with today. Applejack gave him a look, before she sighed.
“Look, ya want mah help, or not?” Applejack asked, and the Doctor groaned, before letting out a sigh.
“...Yes, yes suppose I do. I admit it, I know nothing about working on a farm!” he grumbled.
“Well, that just means it’s yer first time,” Applejack grinned and pulled out the snapped trowel with the Doctor staring at her bug-eyed at her sheer strength. What was she, Supermare? “Trust me, Doctor, everypony complains their first time on the farm. Heck, even Ah didn’t like the work Ah did at first. But I learned to bear with it,”
“Fair enough, I suppose. Surely there’s a job around here even I can’t muck up…” the Doctor sighed. “What is it, feed the pigs in their pens? I mean, surely it’s just tossing the slop to them from a bucket, right?”
“Kinda, but it’s a lot more than just that. Not all pigs are fed with gruel, doc. We ain’t savages on Sweet Apple Acres,” Applejack shook her head.
“Never said you were,” the Doctor replied. “So, how hard can it be?”
Applejack and the Doctor trotted over towards the troughs, mainly towards the food bin where the Apples kept all their pig feed. With a pair of buckets by the bin, Applejack and Doctor picked them up with their jaws and filled them up using their hooves to scoop the feed.
“Okay, so just toss it in there right?” the Doctor asked. “Simple as that?”
“Yeah,” Applejack grinned. “No sweat.”
Now, don’t ask me how, but somehow, the Doctor tripped over Applejack, and sent them both careening into the pig pens. Despite being covered in mud, Applejack managed to give the Doctor a very nasty glare.
“Yeesh…” he thought with a shudder. “If looks could kill.”
“Uh,” the Doctor laughed nervously. “Is it too late to say I’m sorry for utterly ruining your workday, and your mane, and your coat?” he babbled.
“Just stop talking. Just stop.” Applejack replied flatly. Then, the dam finally broke and they were treated to a sea of laughter from… well, guess who.
“Bwh-ha-ha-ha-ha!” a very familiar cackle came from nearby, and both ponies looked to see Rainbow lying on the ground, rolling around and clutching her sides in laughter. As she recomposed herself, and wiped a tear from her eye, she remarked: “Well, if I’d know you’d just wanted to get it on with each other, I thought you would have had a roll in the hay, not a roll in the mud!” she remarked, before collapsing into laughter once more.
“Consarn it, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack yelled, shaking a hoof making her look decidedly all the more ridiculous. “This ain’t funny!”
“It is from my point of view!” Rainbow sniggered. “Seriously, all that built up sexual tension, and you choose it to release it like this?”
“Sexual?!” The Doctor lurched to his feet. “You think we’re—“
“Well, you sure looked like it!” Rainbow laughed again. “Seriously, all that arguing! Just shut up and kiss already why don’t you?”
“Why don’t you shut yer trap?” Applejack growled out in a warning tone.
“...She a friend of yours?” the Doctor sighed to himself, rubbing his temples.
“Unfortunately,” Applejack sighed. “This here’s Rainbow Dash. Wonderbolt fanatic, expert flyer, and an absolutely horrible excuse for a jokester,”
“You flatter me,” Rainbow commented, with a cheeky grin.
“Rainbow, meet the Doctor. Doctor, meet Rainbow,” Applejack sighed.
“I’ve heard of her reputation. First pony to make a Sonic Rainboom, in what, 1,000 years or so?” he asked, somewhat excited.
“Uh, in, like EVER!” Rainbow corrected him. “Nopony’s ever been able to pull off a Sonic Rainboom other than me.”
“Don’t encourage her, Doctor.” Applejack sighed, and at this, Rainbow’s eyes went wide.
“Wait, Doctor? As in the Doctor Twi’s been blabbering about all day?” Rainbow asked.
“You know me?” the Doctor asked.
“Hard not to, when Twilight’s been yammering on back and forth about you at times. And… And well, suffice to say I’m a bit concerned,” Rainbow admitted. “Personally, if you ask me, she wants to meet you again a little too much for my liking. Mentioned some shit about how fascinating you were and all that. Didn’t catch all of it. Tuned most of it out, like I usually do with her.”
The Doctor groaned, he knew this was coming. War and Nine were right, ponies like Twilight, once they got ahold of him, they’d found their fix. He was like a drug to certain types. His expression turned deathly serious. “Where is she?” he asked, his tone leaving no room for argument.
Both Applejack and Rainbow were caught off guard with his sudden shift in demeanor, and just stared at each other before back at him.
“She’s where she usually is, at the Golden Oaks,” Rainbow answered. “Why?”
“I need to talk to her,” the Doctor answered, before groaning in disgust as he looked at himself. “After I take a shower… Again.”
The Doctor soon found himself trotting towards the massive tree that made up the Golden Oaks Library. He had to admit, it was an absolutely fascinating piece of architectural design. The inside of the library was massively hollowed out, and then filled back up with furniture and books of all varieties. From fiction to nonfiction, history to science, it was all there, all alphabetized for a pony’s convenience. The floors themselves were hardwood, very durable under his hooves, and freshly polished so he could see his reflection in it.
“Twilight?” the Doctor called. “Where are you? I need to talk to you for a moment, it’ll just take a tick!”
“Coming!” Twilight called, from somewhere amongst the many, many bookshelves. Small wonder she didn’t lose herself in them, the Doctor mused. Eventually, she emerged, shelving a book on ‘Supernaturals’ in its proper place. Her eyes lit up upon seeing the Doctor, and she smiled. “Oh, Doctor! Didn’t realize it was you!”
“Always a pleasure, Twilight Sparkle,” the Doctor complimented, trying to keep the mood light. “My, how you’ve grown! Facing down Nightmare Moon, and restoring her to her real self!” he said, in a tone of pride.
“It’s only been a year since we last saw each other,” Twilight remarked, trying to hold back her blush.
“Well, for you maybe… I’ve been a few places. Stopped by to see some old friends,” the Doctor replied cryptically before he realized something. “Hey, where’s Moondancer? You two seemed awfully close last time I saw you two.”
“Moondancer’s back in Canterlot at the moment,” Twilight nodded. “She’s awfully busy with her studies, just like I was.”
“Really?” the Doctor asked, raising an eyebrow. “Funny, last I saw you two, you couldn’t keep your hooves off each other…” he remarked.
“Okay… we’re going through some tough times in our life right now.” Twilight sighed, knowing the Doctor could see right through here. “I don’t know exactly how long it’ll be, but we’re spending some time apart now.”
“Oh…” the Doctor whispered, feeling rather awkward right now. “I’m… I’m rather sorry, you two seemed like a cute couple. Anyways, that’s not what I’m here to talk about,”
“Oh. Then what is it?” Twilight asked.
“Listen, you really don’t want to spend time around me,” the Doctor replied, his tone taking that deathly serious note once more. “I’ve been hearing you ask around about me. I’m dangerous Twilight, ponies, people, the more time I spend around them, the more likely I am to turn them into my own personal soldiers, ready to fight my battles when in reality, they should have kept their innocence. Granted, you’ve lost some of yours, but-” he said, before Twilight cut him off.
“Doctor. Trust me, it’s fine,” Twilight patted his shoulders with a hoof. “We’ll be able to handle ourselves out there,”
“That’s what I’m worried about. You ponies, you just seem to be some of the most peaceful and innocent characters in this big old galaxy, and I don’t want to you to see any more of its ugliness than you have to. I’m… I’m just worried, that I may get too tempted and bring you onboard my TARDIS, and in the end, get you killed, or worse,” the Doctor replied. “So heed my words, Twilight Sparkle. Do your best to just forget about me.”
“Doctor…” Twilight leaned away lowering her mane.
“Please,” the Doctor asked beggingly. “Just do me this one last favor,”
“If you go alone, then you’ll just get yourself killed,” Twilight trotted forward, brushing his mane. “Don’t depend on yourself all the time, Doctor. It’s not good for you or for anyone around you.”
The Doctor chuckled a bit.
“What’s so funny?” Twilight asked.
“Nothing… it’s just you remind me of someone I know,” the Doctor remarked, thinking of a frighteningly red-haired woman, with an equally fiery temper. “She always did know what to say at the right time,” he said sadly before a name flashed through his mind. Sarah Jane. “Really need to apologize for leaving her in Aberdeen someday.” he mused.
“Still, Doctor. Don’t throw everyone you meet away like that. It’ll only make you lonely forever,” Twilight put her hoof on his two hearts. “Just try to accept them, and forget about the danger,”
The Doctor’s expression turned stern. “This is why I came to see you Twilight Sparkle of Canterlot. Forget about the danger? I can’t. I never can. If I did that, then everyone around me would die.” He said, thinking of his late companion Adric.
“Then try your hardest to protect them,” Twilight nodded. “Letting yourself down like that is one of the reasons they keep dying around you. Have faith in your friends, and you’ll be able to keep them all safe.”
The Doctor chuckled. “Were you any other friend of mine, that wouldn’t work on me Twilight Sparkle. What’s that philosophy your teacher preaches? Friendship is Magic?” he asked, thinking of an old friend long since lost. Perhaps, one day there would be hope for him. Maybe not today, but someday.
“Not preaches, teaches,” Twilight shot him a stern look. “But yes, Princess Celestia does teach that Friendship is Magic.”
The Doctor smiled. “And someday soon, I suspect you’ll be following her example,” he remarked cryptically before taking his leave. Twilight heard a wheezing, groaning sound, then rushed outside to see where the Doctor had gone, but found nothing.
Canterlot:
With a loud crack, and a bolt of purple lightning, a group of Royal Guards along with a certain blue-coated unicorn stallion with a blood red time turner Cutie Mark landed in the middle of the city, in a circle of runes. Means of long-distance transport, this particular spell was. Most of the major cities had this type of spell linked to their infrastructure and made it easy to get patrols into a city as needed. Mind you, it was very taxing on one’s magic, and often required several unicorns to perform the spell.
“Well, that was… interesting,” the Master commented, fixing his tie. “Lovely means of transport.”
The lead guard, a gray-coated stallion slumped to the ground in exhaustion, sadly he was the only unicorn in his troop so that meant he had to do most of the spellwork. The Master rushed to his side, and helped him up. “You alright there?”
“Yeah, I’ll be fine, just need a good night’s rest. Never did catch your name, Mr…”
“Time Turner,” the Master lied quickly. “Time Turner’s the name, keeping clocks is my game!” he said cheerfully.
“Time Turner,” The guard parroted. “So, what business do you have at the palace?”
“Oh, just heard Princess Celestia was a tad overworked with paperwork, so I thought I’d give her a helping hoof, that’s all!” the Master replied. Nearby, Fancy and Blueblood shared a look.
“Mite convenient that we talked about this, and then somepony shows up isn’t it?” Fancy thought.
“Well, if you want to do the paperwork of all of Canterlot, then go right ahead. We’ve been needing a new bureaucrat after the loss of miss Raven via undisclosed circumstances,” The guard stood aside. “Go on inside, sir.”
“Excellent, I used to work jobs like this in Saddle Arabia!” the Master commented.
“You sure don’t look like any Saddle Arabian I’ve met…” the guard commented.
“Eh, I get that a lot.” the Master replied in a dismissive tone.
“Hold up!” Blueblood shouted. “Isn’t this all a bit unlikely, I mean me and Fancy were just talking about this, and he shows up out of the blue!”
“Coincidence is nothing more than another word for luck, my friend,” The Master stepped up to Blueblood. “Without a bureaucrat like myself, Saddle Arabia would have fallen into political chaos within days.”
“For someone who says he’s a skilled politician, I’ve seen nothing of the sort besides brown-nosing and boasting,” Blueblood commented.
“Pot calling the kettle black maybe?” the Master had picked up on Blueblood’s tone. “When will the people of Canterlot learn that you can’t control anyone with a low-ranking title as Prince? Leave orders to the king or queen.”
“You do realize of course,” Blueblood remarked. “That Equestria is controlled by two Princesses.”
“Then the lead one of those should really be called a queen, instead of such a low title like that.” the Master scoffed. “But then again, Queen Celestia doesn’t roll off the tongue that well, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t,” Blueblood admitted. “Plus, she has no liking for the term ‘Queen’ as she herself told me, it comes across as far too arrogant. But I assume you would know this, given Saddle Arabia’s good relations with Equestria?”
“Then we need a new ruler fast,” The Master walked inside. “Either Celestia gets a promotion, or someone steps in to take her place.”
Blueblood made a noise of worry to himself. This stallion, who came out of the blue with his boastings and remarks, sounded far too much like Chancellor Neighsay for his liking, the worm. He needed to get rid of him, fast. He quickly ran off to another room, his personal study and grabbed a quill and a sheet of paper.
The Master walked into the throne room, staring up at the titanic monarch that was Princess Celestia. Basking in her elegant glow, he stepped forward and bowed.
“Your Highness. A pleasure to meet you at long last,” he said.
“Funny, I’ve never heard of you in my life,” Celestia remarked. “So how do you know me?”
“Who doesn’t know of the fair Princess Celestia? You and I actually have met before, though, under different circumstances,” He smiled. “But let us not dwell on the past for now, my Princess, but rather on the future for all of Equestria.” He stepped up ascended the throne steps. “I heard you needed a new bureaucrat,”
“Well, you’re certainly a charmer,” Celestia admitted. “But how good are you with paperwork. I don’t mean just boasting about it for all to hear,” she replied dryly, having heard Time Turner’s remarks from the hall. “I need physical proof before I even think of assigning you to my personal staff.”
Using a spell, the Master took a bunch of unorganized papers from behind the throne, then hastily sorted them into perfect alphabetical order, as well as the level of urgency each matter required. Then, he levitated the stack back to the Princess.
“Well, colour me impressed. You’re-” Celestia began before she was cut off.
“Certainly not hired.” the Doctor snarled, as he burst in. “Thank your nephew Blueblood for sending me a letter. And I’m glad he did. Hello again, old friend,” he continued, stressing the word. “How long has it been since we last met? Years? Days? Seconds, even? Oh right, now I remember, ever since you tried to kill off all of Earth’s population posing as the Prime Minister!”
Guards surrounded the Master, as Celestia heard this. She had no reason to doubt the Doctor. The newcomer, however, that was a different story.
“Minor trifle. Old history.” the Master replied.
“I… I thought you dead! Hell, I saw you die in my arms!” the Doctor shouted, fighting back a sob. “Or was that a lie, just like everything else with you?”
“Death is relative to us Time Lords, Doctor,” The Master chuckled. “As is the same with all of your friends. But then again, you never keep your friends forever, do you?”
“How dare you…?” the Doctor growled, and he lurched forwards only having to be held back by Shining and another guard.
“Doctor, who is this stallion?” Celestia asked.
“The Doctor is nothing more than an outsider. Someone who hops from planet to planet, timeline point to timeline point, apparently righting the wrongs of the universe. When all he really does is make things more complicated and tragic…” the Master sneered at him. “Wherever he goes, death and destruction follows. Why, I bet the Daleks or Cybermen are about to attack this planet any second now because he’s here.”
“Be silent!” Celestia shouted, clamping the Master’s mouth shut, as the room grew warmer by the moment. “You don’t think I don’t know who he is or what he does? Now I asked him who you are, and he will tell me. You will say nothing.” She stared sternly into the Master’s eyes.
“The Master… Oh, where do I begin? Well, it’s a long story really.” the Doctor sighed.
“I have time.” the Princess of the Sun replied.
“We were both born with names but they were lost to time. We chose the names we'd live the rest of our lives with. we chose them based on the kinds of people we wanted to be and what our every action was motivated by. I wanted to end suffering, to help people. That's why I'm the Doctor. He's the Master because he only wishes to control them,” the Doctor explained. “All Time Lords have this... hypnotic ability I guess you could call it, this... telepathy. we both use it all the time. I'm the Doctor, I'm here to save people. But to do that I need them to trust me. but how do you foster an organic sense of trust with someone you just met? Answer is- you can't. I get inside their heads but it's not out of malice it's for the greater good,” he continued, and he looked down at the floor in shame. “So yes, I admit I may have used what you may call Legitimacy in your terms to get you to trust me, at least at first, but for everything afterwards, I just let things happened as they should have.”
“And what of the Master?” Celestia asked, her voice slowly growing in anger. She noted the Doctor began to tug at his tie, as the room’s temperature slowly got ever so warmer. She wasn’t angry, at least not at being used and having her mind peeked and prodded at, or even her student’s at that, but by the Doctor just keeping that little secret for so long. If he admitted it outright, she may not have been so mad, but right now…? Granted, she could detect the notes of shame in his voice, so that was the only reason she was still listening to him at this very moment.
“The Master though, he gets you to trust him but it's to manipulate not to help. It's not for your benefit but for his,” the Doctor continued, not bearing to even look at Celestia right now. “So, heed my words Celestia Solaris, if you know what’s good for you, and want what’s best for your country, I would lock the Master up where nopony could find, or get to him. You understand me?”
“Yes, I understand,” Celestia replied. “But we’re not done with this, not by a long shot. Are we clear on that?”
“Yes, we’re quite clear.” the Doctor sighed, and turned to walk away knowing Celestia was quite furious with him, as she had every right to be. He watched as the Royal Guards cuffed the Master, and put a ring around his horn to restrict his magic. He also noted the glare Shining sent his way, and sighed. Another friend found, but another friend lost. That was the way it always was with him. As he walked to his TARDIS, and shut the doors closed, he sighed and turned on the radio even as the Old Girl gave a comforting hum as if to say she was always going to be there for him, no matter what.
“So when your hope's on fire
But you know your desire
Don't hold a glass over the flame
Don't let your heart grow cold
I will call you by name
I will share your road
“But hold me fast, Hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer
And hold me fast, Hold me fast
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer
I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
I will learn, I will learn to love the skies I'm under
The skies I'm under…”